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Good thoughts there. Had a fellow cyclist stop for me this year while I was sitting on a guardrail, bonked out. She gave me some Gatorade, and encouraging words. She finally asked if I was good to go, and if I had a phone before riding off. The encounter lifted my spirits and made the remaining miles of the ride most pleasant, thinking of my encounter with the kind stranger.
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Originally Posted by dabac
(Post 19861381)
What! A MAN accepting help?
I'm about to say "pics, or it didn't happen". While I don't have your extra burden, I do ride rather well equipped. But I have just about given up offering to help males. They're simply not accepting. The guys were usually grateful for any help, whether bike repairs or a snack. A couple were a bit thick skulled and indifferent -- you could see why they're unemployed, homeless, etc. They either expect others to do for them, or they lack some fundamental sense of courtesy. One fellow I've seen in my neighborhood several times was schizophrenic, paranoid and occasionally angry if offered help. He wasn't doing well physically and I haven't seen him for awhile. I'm afraid his health was suffering but he refused any help. But with the vast majority, even the mentally ill fellows, it was a joy to get to know them. I usually try to spend some time chatting, listening, hearing their stories. If they're new to the area I'll suggest a few social services where they can find food, clothing, shelter, counseling or medical aid. One fellow, an eccentric drifter named Rodney from Canada, gave me a ring he'd found on the highway during his journeys. Just an old brass ring with glass "diamonds". He was spending the night outdoors last autumn when a cold front was blowing in. He had blankets and clothing, and a place out of the cold wind. I bought him some food for that night and the next day. He thought I was an archangel, like Michael, and said he'd been carrying that ring to give to me when we finally met. I carry that ring with me on almost every bike ride. It's not a lucky charm or anything like that. It's a reminder of mutual kindnesses, of trust in a difficult situation. It's part of my pre-ride ritual. I always spend a few moments getting into character for the bike ride, mentally preparing myself for any careless, reckless or rude drivers, as well as preparing myself to acknowledge courtesies and kindnesses.
Originally Posted by indyfabz
(Post 19861401)
Many years ago I patched a guy's flat (he didn't have a spare tube or QR wheels) in Valley Forge National Park. He hit on me, basically asking me if I wanted a B.J. Nothing wrong with that if that's what you're into. I just thought it was rude to respond that way to someone who was helping you.
Some throwaway human beings have grown up that way, men and women, adults and children. Being treated as meatsacks for gratification and exploitation. We should all count ourselves fortunate that we were spared from that kind of exploitation and abuse, or that we escaped from such backgrounds if we were among the less fortunate.
Originally Posted by berner
(Post 19861431)
I've been on the receiving end of good deeds numerous times in my life. If I'm in a position to do the same for others, I'm merely passing on a gift previously received. If we wish to make the world a better place we begin by being a better person.
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On several occasions I've paid the toll for the vehicle immediately behind my vehicle. I can't know what their reaction was but I expect it was a topic of conversation for the rest of the day and perhaps, beyond. I've heard of people who will pay for the restaurant meal of another dining party. This is quite a bit pricier but an awesome gesture.
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I do what I can. I haven't run across anyone in need yet, but I carry a first aid kit and tools. Being a woman I have to be a little more cautious, since to some 'woman' = easy prey. I also donate blood regularly, and I'm a trail steward, building and maintaining local trails (that one's selfish; I love it). I also stop my commute to move debris off the road; hunks of tree bark, tree limbs, car parts, exploded semi tires, etc.; but I had to draw the line at the twin size mattress, and I didn't have the heart (or the stomach) to move the poor small black cat (kitten?) yesterday morning. They say to leave a place cleaner than when you found it, so I'm doing my part.
Good on you all for everything you do. :thumb: |
Originally Posted by berner
(Post 19863559)
On several occasions I've paid the toll for the vehicle immediately behind my vehicle. I can't know what their reaction was but I expect it was a topic of conversation for the rest of the day and perhaps, beyond.
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Originally Posted by jefnvk
(Post 19863692)
Haven't gotten the toll (don't have many toll roads near me), but I have gotten that in fast food drive thru lanes a few times around Christmas. I cringe everytimes it happens, I don't want to be the one to break the cycle of kindness, but I also know one of these days I'm going to have my $1 Diet Coke turn into a $30 family feast.
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Originally Posted by Korina
(Post 19863697)
Or you could just put $5 or $10 towards their feast. No need to overdo it.
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Originally Posted by canklecat
(Post 19862753)
The fellow I mentioned in my above paragraph, Rodney, thought I was expecting sex in exchange for giving him some food and staying to talk for awhile. It almost brought me to tears, thinking of the abuse he must have suffered in life to get to the point where he thought every stranger who offered help was doing so under the "Gas, grass or ass -- nobody rides for free" mercenary banner.
Some throwaway human beings have grown up that way, men and women, adults and children. Being treated as meatsacks for gratification and exploitation. "We can get you anything you want, but you won't get it for free." |
Originally Posted by BobbyG
(Post 19860499)
Sometimes while riding my bicycle I will stop to help a fellow cyclist. A serious, long-time commuter, I carry tools, a patch kit, a spare inner tube and a pump. Over the last 25 years I have stopped to help fix flats, true crooked wheels that are rubbing against rim brakes. Earlier this year I saw a mother watching her young daughter ride a bike with training wheels and a handlebar that was loose and crooked, I fixed it. Turned out to be the girl's first bike, bought just that day.
And not just fixing bikes. Last month I stopped to help a older Asian couple I have seen over the years move some furniture from their car to their house. Sometimes I will call the authorities if I see people passed out in a remote area, especially when winter's cold can be deadly. One time I saw two men forcing an unwilling woman into a car. I rode on until I was out of sight of them and then called the police. So when I see people walking their bikes, I will often stop to let them know I have tools, and can I help in any way. But I have to be careful, as my commute route takes me through a rough-ish part of town, and I don't want to be lured into a bad situation. However, on this evening's ride home I passed a 30-something looking guy walking his older mountain bike in the opposite direction with a flat. He wore jeans and a t-shirt with a plastic grocery bag with some clothes tied to the seatpost. I assessed the situation. He seemed to walk with a calm determination, not agitated, with a very steady step. I circled around and asked if I could help. "I usually carry tools," he said with a thick Jamaican accent, "but the one day I left my backpack at home I get a flat." So he popped off his front wheel and I immediately saw the goat head thorn sticking out. He removed the worn mountain bike tire and asked for the pump. He pumped it up and inspected it, while I felt around the inside of his tire for foreign objects and any protrusions. He couldn't find the puncture. I told him I have a trick (a trick I learned on bikeforums) I wet my lips and rotated the tire in front of them. I felt the small, cool sensation of air escaping from the innertube. It was a miniscule hole like you get from goathead thorns. I sandpapered the surface and spread on the rubber cement. While we waited for it to dry he said his name was Willie and he was in Colorado Springs working at a hotel. He had a wife and four young kids and sent some money home to his folks in Jamaica. I patched the innertube and Willie installed it and mounted his tire and then began pumping. When everything was done he extended his hand and thanked me. And then he asked, "Why did you stop and help me?" So I told him. "Three years ago my step-daughter developed a painful and debilitating disease that I can't fix. So far nobody has been able to fix her. And while I have always tried to be helpful, to people, it is even more imperative since then that I fix what I can, it makes me feel like I have control, at least over some things in life." As I was thinking about it tonight I remembered the jewish concept of "tikkun olam" or "repairing the world". I always assumed people did that to please G-d. I'm not religious. I'm more of a "be good for goodness' sake" kinda guy. But it occurred to me that perhaps by helping others, we can help ourselves. That's a dimension of Tikkun Olam I hadn't considered before. I suppose in this way it's related in a way to the christian concept of "leading by serving". So, what is my point, and how does it relate to bicycles and cycling? The mental and emotional and social rewards are as much a part of cycling as are the physical rewards and aspects. And more and more I see the bicycle itself as a tool with which one can help repair their world, even while repairing a bicycle. |
Kol ha kavod, Bobby!
I'm a new cyclist, but I've sensed a lot more camaraderie (for the most part) from fellow cyclist, compared to the avergae driver or pedestrian. If I'm stopped, even for a breather, or to add or remove some clothing, other cyclists will often stop and ask if I'm OK. I always stop if I see another cyclist with who might have a mechanical issue, and am prepared to give them help or even a spare inner tube if necessary. Perhaps I should carry two tubes now if case I need one myself after helping someone! |
Originally Posted by jefnvk
(Post 19863692)
Haven't gotten the toll (don't have many toll roads near me), but I have gotten that in fast food drive thru lanes a few times around Christmas. I cringe everytimes it happens, I don't want to be the one to break the cycle of kindness, but I also know one of these days I'm going to have my $1 Diet Coke turn into a $30 family feast.
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Helping
Couple years ago I offered to help a cyclist struggling with a dropped chain when I was out at my mailbox. Turns out the bike had just been stolen along with some other stuff from my across the road neighbor. It was pretty embarressing to later tell the officer that I could describe the bike perfectly but had no idea what the guy looked like. He rode off with chain clanking away after refusing my assistance. Sigh.
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Originally Posted by rydabent
(Post 19864874)
Pretty much what I do also. It amazes me how many people ride without anything at all to keep them from walking home.
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Originally Posted by jefnvk
(Post 19863814)
When fast food cashiers have a hard time ringing up my order correctly, I am not going to contribute to the line slowing down by asking them to do a partial payment on the car behind me. After the second time last year (it happened three times over the holidays), I was fine with breaking the chain. While I'm sure the folks who started it had their hearts in the right place and thought they were doing a good thing, to someone like me who is abruptly put on the spot it is more viewed as a forced obligation. Just my opinion, of course.
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I enjoyed reading everyone's experiences, making life a little easier by helping out someone in need. I often bike around my neighborhood for quick rides when I can. I haven't had many opportunities to help out a neighbor, but there was one incident where I helped an elderly man just around the block from me.
He was standing next to his car which was parked on the road in front of his home with a couple grocery bags in one hand. One of them obviously ripped. He had a cane in his other hand and was using it to try and retrieve something from underneath his car. Looked like he wasn't able to bend down far enough to even get the cane anywhere near whatever it was. I circled around and stopped to offer help. He couldn't speak a lick of English though, lol. Through some hand gestures we got some basic communication going. I got on the ground and was able to retrieve a couple melons that had fallen out of his bag and under the car. Also helped carry them with some other groceries to his doorstep. He was super thankful, rarely have I seen such a big smile. Felt really good to do something so simple for someone. |
Originally Posted by tmc1138
(Post 19871191)
I enjoyed reading everyone's experiences, making life a little easier by helping out someone in need. I often bike around my neighborhood for quick rides when I can. I haven't had many opportunities to help out a neighbor, but there was one incident where I helped an elderly man just around the block from me.
He was standing next to his car which was parked on the road in front of his home with a couple grocery bags in one hand. One of them obviously ripped. He had a cane in his other hand and was using it to try and retrieve something from underneath his car. Looked like he wasn't able to bend down far enough to even get the cane anywhere near whatever it was. I circled around and stopped to offer help. He couldn't speak a lick of English though, lol. Through some hand gestures we got some basic communication going. I got on the ground and was able to retrieve a couple melons that had fallen out of his bag and under the car. Also helped carry them with some other groceries to his doorstep. He was super thankful, rarely have I seen such a big smile. Felt really good to do something so simple for someone. |
Good job!
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