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Top 10 Signs You're Too Fat To Be A Roadie

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Top 10 Signs You're Too Fat To Be A Roadie

Old 06-14-05, 10:47 AM
  #1  
Wurm
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10. While drafting at the back of a paceline, you still have major aero problems.

9. Your idea of a "century" is taking 100 minutes to ride to the corner store for a box of Ho-Ho's.

8. On long charity rides you shout out, "It's my turn to 'pull' for the sag wagon!"

7. Your pup tent doubles as a race jersey.

6. You wonder why no cols in the Tour de France are named "This Bump is for Our Larger Friends".

5. Your Schwalbe Marathon Plus 40c tires get pinch flats at 120 psi.

4. You complain that your custom solid-bar aluminum frame flexes at the bottom bracket shell.

3. Your climbing wheels are Sun-Ringle "Doublewide's".

2. Your cycling friends ask you, "Is that a new zit, or just a Camelbak?"

And the #1 reason you may be too fat to be a roadie:

1. Your Brooks 90/3 triple-sprung saddle makes a loud "ka-THUMP!" when you run over a white pavement line.



Last edited by Wurm; 06-14-05 at 07:27 PM.
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Old 06-14-05, 10:52 AM
  #2  
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hahaha... funny stuff...
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Old 06-14-05, 11:08 AM
  #3  
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Yes very funny
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Old 06-14-05, 11:11 AM
  #4  
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HEY! I resemble those remarks.
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Old 06-14-05, 11:48 AM
  #5  
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My personal observation is that you cannot ever br too fat to be a "roadie".
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Old 06-14-05, 11:56 AM
  #6  
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Seriously whats with all the gay references and fat people jokes lately. Funny or not, I havent seen this many of that kind since I was in grade 5.
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Old 06-14-05, 02:04 PM
  #7  
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On the last charity run I did (75km), there were a lot of guys 45-55 years old with really big guts who simply blew past me. My neighbours and I averaged over 32kph for the 75 km run, so they must have averaged well over 35kph. My guess is that they are semi-retired and just train a hell-of-alot more than me.
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Old 06-14-05, 02:10 PM
  #8  
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11) The paceline is two abreast when you're in front.
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Old 06-14-05, 04:56 PM
  #9  
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No...all these mean that these people aren't "snob roadies"
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Old 06-14-05, 05:00 PM
  #10  
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Being blessed with an abundance of adipose tissue myself, I was prepared to be richly offended. Instead I'm delightfully amused. Actually, I'm much bigger than I should be but much smaller than I once was. Good post. I enjoyed it.
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Old 06-14-05, 05:07 PM
  #11  
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Originally Posted by Maelstrom
Seriously whats with all the gay references and fat people jokes lately. Funny or not, I havent seen this many of that kind since I was in grade 5.
You're young. You'll get over it.
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Old 06-14-05, 05:43 PM
  #12  
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I got one. You have so much body fat on your chest you should race in the women's field. Believe it or not, I have raced with an overweight racer with a beer gut running a pair of Zipp 404.
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Old 06-14-05, 05:58 PM
  #13  
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The interesting thing is that I've discovered big guys on the flats will simply blow me and most lightweight riders away. The reasoning is fairly simple. The bigger you are, the more muscle you need to support your weight. While walking or climbing, the big guy's weight can be a detriment or at least it doesn't provide an advantage... at best, it puts them on par. However, when they're riding and are on flat or rolling terrain, they have momentum on their side and that extra amount of muscle gives them greater horsepower to sustain that momentum. The calculus works out in favour of the big guy in such situations. I can drop a lot of my bigger friends on the climbs but going downhill and on the flats, I have to work to keep up with them.
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Old 06-14-05, 06:44 PM
  #14  
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Originally Posted by khuon
The interesting thing is that I've discovered big guys on the flats will simply blow me and most lightweight riders away. The reasoning is fairly simple. The bigger you are, the more muscle you need to support your weight. While walking or climbing, the big guy's weight can be a detriment or at least it doesn't provide an advantage... at best, it puts them on par. However, when they're riding and are on flat or rolling terrain, they have momentum on their side and that extra amount of muscle gives them greater horsepower to sustain that momentum. The calculus works out in favour of the big guy in such situations. I can drop a lot of my bigger friends on the climbs but going downhill and on the flats, I have to work to keep up with them.
Isn't that also the case with Tandems? I've passed many a mature couple going up hill on their tandom, but when I see that "Bike-A-Bago" coming down the hill behind me, I better get out of the way.

Steve W
Gee, I'll gain 50 pounds and THEN I'll be fast! My Training Partners will be Ben and Jerry.
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Old 06-14-05, 07:20 PM
  #15  
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Well I ain't exactly skinny at 196 lb., and I've lost 10 lbs. since April. BUT I have a perfectly good reason: I'm just big-boned.
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Old 06-14-05, 11:29 PM
  #16  
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Originally Posted by Wurm
Well I ain't exactly skinny at 196 lb., and I've lost 10 lbs. since April. BUT I have a perfectly good reason: I'm just big-boned.

I'm big boned too, especially the one around my middle that keeps growing.
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Old 06-16-05, 11:39 AM
  #17  
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Well I ain't exactly skinny at 196 lb., and I've lost 10 lbs. since April. BUT I have a perfectly good reason: I'm just big-boned.
At 516lb, I guess my bones are clearly much bigger, then. *cough*
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Old 06-16-05, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Waxbytes
I'm big boned too, especially the one around my middle that keeps growing.
Yeah, the ol' spare tire. That's not really bone...more like gristle ain't it?
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Old 06-16-05, 11:07 PM
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I weigh just under 250 lbs and I got a kick out of it. I especially liked the 700x40 tires getting pinch flats. Excellent!!

It's a svelte wafer thin 250 though!
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Old 06-16-05, 11:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Doctor Morbius
...I got a kick out of it...Excellent!!
We aim to please!
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Old 06-17-05, 12:34 AM
  #21  
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Originally Posted by R600DuraAce
I got one. You have so much body fat on your chest you should race in the women's field. Believe it or not, I have raced with an overweight racer with a beer gut running a pair of Zipp 404.
kinda like fourty pounds of sausage in a 20 pound casing?

hey, all I know is that if I lost a few pounds, it wouldbe like pebbles off a dump truck!
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Old 06-17-05, 12:58 AM
  #22  
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Oi, I'm not fat, I'm actually at my ideal future weight.... which will be when i reach 8 feet in height
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Old 06-17-05, 11:31 AM
  #23  
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Originally Posted by kuan
11) The paceline is two abreast when you're in front.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005.
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Old 06-17-05, 11:52 AM
  #24  
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Usually the bigboned guys got the best looking bicycles. Why?
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Old 06-17-05, 08:14 PM
  #25  
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Originally Posted by lrnorup
Usually the bigboned guys got the best looking bicycles. Why?
Because they stole them from scrawny little climbers, along with their lunch money...
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