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Traveling together?

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Old 07-07-18, 08:36 PM
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Bigbus
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Traveling together?

I've seen this a lot when couples go on extended rides together and it just seems wrong to me, but maybe I'm old school. Or maybe I'm just old fashioned. Or maybe just old? The guy will be 2+ miles ahead of the woman and pedaling like crazy. If something happened to her, he wouldn't even know until she failed to catch up when he pulled off for a break. I often ride the shoulder to reach trails rather than portage my bike on the car and I overtook a girl this morning on my ride. I adjusted my pace and hung back until we went our separate ways. Splitting up like that just doesn't seem right to me. Can someone explain why they would do that? Maybe I'm missing something here because it's not a race, is it?
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Old 07-07-18, 08:44 PM
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When I ride with the Mrs. I'm rarely too far ahead (or behind) for that exact reason.

Then again, we've usually got the 7yr old with us, and unsupervised he's an unholy terror ....
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Old 07-07-18, 08:53 PM
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I’ve seen the same thing. When my wife and I ride together, it’s for enjoyment; a shared experience. I could easily drop her before she reached the end of the block, but why? I can ride like a hammerhead any other time I like. Having said that, I can’t pretend to know or understand the dynamics of others relationships. But, when we say “let’s ride to breakfast tomorrow,” it’s understood we’re riding together.


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Old 07-07-18, 09:19 PM
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I can't presume this is anything but a sexist troll job? Are the mods really gonna let it grow legs?

Presuming it has any sort of legitimacy, if you're two miles ahead of your partner without a care as to their state, I'd hate to be in a relationship with you, cycling or really anything else in life-wise.
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Old 07-07-18, 10:00 PM
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I don't get beyond earshot of my wife on rides. For if I do, I know I am bound to get an earful later.
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Old 07-07-18, 10:17 PM
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Originally Posted by jefnvk View Post
I can't presume this is anything but a sexist troll job? Are the mods really gonna let it grow legs?
Yeah, this is my take as well.

OTOH, it may be the case that the riders have a designated regroup point. 2+ miles might be a bit extreme, but some of our local no-drop rides have designated regroup points, usually at the top and bottom of climbs, so those who want to can hammer up or down a hill and still enjoy the group dynamics on flats and rollers. Even though riders might be out of earshot, we'll send a stronger rider to check up on anyone who might have fallen back.
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Old 07-07-18, 10:22 PM
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How is it possible to know that two people separated by 2+ miles are riding together?

Maybe the woman is confident enough to ride on her own. Some women don't need protectors looking over them 24x7.

Some wives encourage their husbands to exercise vigorously. It's good for them.

How a husband and wife agree to ride is up to them. It isn't right to automatically judge the husband as inconsiderate or uncaring.


-Tim-
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Old 07-07-18, 11:28 PM
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Originally Posted by TimothyH View Post
How is it possible to know that two people separated by 2+ miles are riding together?

Maybe the woman is confident enough to ride on her own. Some women don't need protectors looking over them 24x7.

Some wives encourage their husbands to exercise vigorously. It's good for them.

How a husband and wife agree to ride is up to them. It isn't right to automatically judge the husband as inconsiderate or uncaring.


-Tim-
+1

And different people do things different ways.


I rode with a stronger cycling partner for a while. Sometimes he'd ride with me, but he knew I was a strong, independent cyclist who did a lot of solo cycling.

So if he wanted to ride ride hard, I might start half an hour ahead of him, then he'd start and hammer past me to our designated turn around point. Sometimes, when he passed me, I'd try to keep up for a while. At the turn around point, he'd either stop and wait for me, or turn around and ride hard back to me, then we'd ride my pace to the turn around and back to the start. So we could be a few km apart at times.

Or we might ride together, then he'd hammer up a side road and back again while I kept going straight. He'd catch up to me, and we'd ride my pace again.

Or we'd play this game of tag where we found a 3 km block. I'd ride 750 metres to the corner, and when I rounded the corner, he'd start and try to catch me. Meanwhile I'd ride hard to try to stay ahead. Eventually he would catch me, but we discovered that we had to shorten my lead after a while because I was getting stronger.


I did a cycling tour in Australia with another ride partner who was also stronger than me, but who liked to take fairly decent rest breaks. We would look at the map, pick a town 20 km down the road as our designated regroup point, and ride. Usually, I'd keep up for a while, but eventually, he'd go ahead. When I got there, he would have found a nice place for ice cream or lunch or something, and we'd take a break together. But it gave us space. On a tour, you're together 24/7 and sometimes it's nice just to have a bit of space.


In other words, it's their business, not the business of some external onlooker. For all we know, that's what they want to do and they've got a plan that works for them.
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Old 07-08-18, 10:52 AM
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I really appreciate all the comments. I respect strong individuals and the need for alone time, but it's refreshing to know that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. Thanks,
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Old 07-08-18, 01:49 PM
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Hunter S Thompson would disagree... about being alone that is.

But more importantly, why does it matter that others agree or disagree? Do we hold opinions because they are right or because they are popular.

In this case it appears the consensus was it's none of our business how others ride.

Last edited by Happy Feet; 07-08-18 at 01:55 PM.
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Old 07-08-18, 02:19 PM
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I've seen it the other way round. Fit middle-age lady sprinting ahead then waiting for chubby hubby to catch up. Or maybe not hubby, just a new guy that she was testing out.
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Old 07-08-18, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by TimothyH View Post
How is it possible to know that two people separated by 2+ miles are riding together?

Maybe the woman is confident enough to ride on her own. Some women don't need protectors looking over them 24x7.

Some wives encourage their husbands to exercise vigorously. It's good for them.

How a husband and wife agree to ride is up to them. It isn't right to automatically judge the husband as inconsiderate or uncaring.


-Tim-
She was wearing a jersey that said "I am with Stupid."
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Old 07-08-18, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Hoopdriver View Post
I've seen it the other way round. Fit middle-age lady sprinting ahead then waiting for chubby hubby to catch up. Or maybe not hubby, just a new guy that she was testing out.
There is a lady in my club that is 60+ and she takes potential beaus (her word, she is southern) out for a ride on the second date.

She is pretty clear about it that if they can't keep up on the bike, they can't keep up in bed.
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Old 07-08-18, 04:56 PM
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There is a level of skill that I've not achieved when riding with my partner. She's fit, but due to a bad accident that concussed her, broke her clavicle, a rib, and collapsed a lung (I had a sympathy fall right behind going all @$$ over tea kettle but was otherwise un-scathed) she's very cautious of speed... Too cautious...

So, we'll be on some rolling hills on 360 and there's nothing but road in front of us and she'll brake the whole way down. Meanwhile I'm geared all the way up and am hammering or just enjoying the effortless speed of a downhill. So the gap grows. Instead of using that speed for the NEXT hill, now I'm geared down to a walk as I wait for her to climb and catch up... This goes on for a bit till we're back in the city... But that's for the training rides.

On our normal toolin' around rides to a HH, Barton, or the symphony, we stick close together talking and keeping cars from splitting us. There DOES seem to be a communication issue when we come to cross streets, however. Occasionally I've gone ahead when she wasn't ready and I'll get chewed out for that. Perhaps I ride more and as a result am more comfortable taking liberties with crossing, but I don't like her thinking I'm unsafe when I think it's just experience...

I hope I'll get better with the endurance rides when we have to just eat miles, but it's hard to brake down hills.
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Old 07-08-18, 05:15 PM
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We went for a 30 mile ride yesterday (the Schuylkill River Trail near Philly - it was glorious). We ride 15 miles to Manayunk, have a beer and tacos, then ride back to the car. On the first leg, it's all together, with one or the other in front by zero to 100 feet. On the way back, I take off sometimes (with her permission) at full speed and then after five miles, I circle back to pick her up. The depressing part (or encouraging I guess that my wife's in good shape) is how little time it takes once I turn around for me to see her.

On a linear trip, point A to point B, I wouldn't leave her unless she was with others who would ride with her.
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Old 07-08-18, 05:36 PM
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solo rides as a couple I could see the courtesy being locally nearby each other, may be not applicable to activities such as a sanctioned/leisure event.
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Old 07-08-18, 05:43 PM
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I just shared this post with my dear wife and she called me a neanderthal. It only took reminding her that I'm her neanderthal and all is good again. She brakes on the hills too. I still won't leave her out of my sight when we're cruising on the side of a busy road. Trails, she's on her own.
Thanks again for all the different input. Sorry if no one else got anything out of it because I sure enjoyed some of the responses.
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Old 07-09-18, 09:08 AM
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I mean, if it is something they have agreed to, who am I to care what they do? It is their relationship.

If the man is hammering away and leaving the woman behind because she can't keep up, without that being the arrangement, I still maintain my previous stance.

I dial in my riding to my wife's pace on everything but hills, because I can't ride as slow as she likes to going up them. I wait at the top of every one though, specifically for things like unexpected problems that I have to go back for.
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Old 07-09-18, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Bigbus View Post
I overtook a girl this morning on my ride. I adjusted my pace and hung back until we went our separate ways.
I find this to be especially troubling.

It isn't right to assume that someone needs a shadow rider just because they are female.

One might have the best of intentions but if I were a female I would not appreciate some random stranger shadowing me.


-Tim-
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Old 07-09-18, 09:30 AM
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I'll bite....

As someone who used to tour with a woman, I can say that there were times when we got separated, but usually she would be ahead of me. She was a much more fearless on mountain descents. I take blood thinners, so I tend to moderate my speed on descents. Sometimes I would get ahead of her on climbs. At 5', 105 lbs., she's a great climber, but she's slower than usual when riding a relatively heavy touring bike pulling at B.O.B. trailer. I would always carry the pump, so I never got too far ahead of her. When she would get relatively far ahead on blistering descents she would eventually stop so we could re-group. Besides, I was the one who had the cue sheets.

BTW...IBTL
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Old 07-09-18, 09:48 AM
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Wife is pretty strong. Whenever we ride together, I can usually build a lead of about a foot or so, and that's as far ahead as I can get. Tenacious, she is.
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Old 07-09-18, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by kaos joe View Post


Wife is pretty strong. Whenever we ride together, I can usually build a lead of about a foot or so, and that's as far ahead as I can get. Tenacious, she is.
Heh heh! That's funny! I've always wanted to try one of those but she HATES them... Don't know why either... there's just no reasoning with some people, you know?
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Old 07-09-18, 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by TimothyH View Post
I find this to be especially troubling.

It isn't right to assume that someone needs a shadow rider just because they are female.

One might have the best of intentions but if I were a female I would not appreciate some random stranger shadowing me.


-Tim-
I hung back almost a quarter mile because I didn't want the person to try and get off to the side to let me pass because there is only about a foot of shoulder,to ride on with a steep ditch, and heavy traffic on this road. (a section of Hwy 101 or PCH as it's known in these parts) and I wasn't going to pull out into traffic just to get around them. I don't shadow people male or female intentionally because I wouldn't like it being done to me and I'm a neanderthal, just ask the missus. But while I was riding this moderate pace I was simply daydreaming and thinking about all the times I see couples riding miles apart and wondered why so I posted the question here. And I'm glad I did because it brought a lot of interesting responses.
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Old 07-09-18, 05:39 PM
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When I ride with friends, I ride *with* them. I don't care if they're slow. I can always get in a solo workout ride another time. Or if I want to get dropped I can tag along with the local fast club and be reminded of how fast I'm not.

And if I slowly catch up with a woman whom I don't know riding ahead of me, I'll slow down and lag behind a few bike lengths. Not because I'm a gentleman. It's because if I was overtaking her slowly, she could probably drop me. Especially if she's one of the local women in the blue Elevate team jerseys. And I'm not gonna try to pass her, get dropped myself, and give her the chance to prove I'm a condescending white knight. I have my misplaced pride.
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Old 07-09-18, 05:54 PM
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if i'm hammering it out, I'll use proper mannerism/etiquette to pass, even if they later pass me. I'm only riding solo & for my own benefit. Not in a competition to rage on my machine.
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