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Talking shop (bikes) at a mixed group event, a foul up

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Talking shop (bikes) at a mixed group event, a foul up

Old 02-06-19, 11:00 AM
  #176  
Happy Feet
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Originally Posted by Phil_gretz View Post
No, certainly not in this scenario. A spouse shouldn't "get to" do anything. What are we, 12 years old? Married couples talk about things, and talk through social events in advance. Is one spouse preparing a meal for the other, or inviting family members to the event? That bears consideration. Dropping in with riding buddies unannounced (or planned spur of the minute) is probably a foul on its face. The husband in this instance can hang out with riding buddies on any weekend. Why on this particular time? Does this have anything to do with the invited family members, or not wanting to spend time with them? Is there something unsaid? The OP explanation was not satisfactory on that score.

For myself, my birthdays are the day where my wife and daughters decide what they'd like to do with their dad. I comply and enjoy their company. I would not consider what I "get to do" other than to honor the effort that my wife and girls make. Whatever that might be.

That's why I've never gone on a "birthday ride". Because I choose not to.
While I completely agree with the sentiment that couples need to communicate about events and who is attending etc... I don't share the same premise of always deferring to what other wants. Life is a two way street and if one always subverts their goals because of the goals of another that cannot be said to be fair. You say you do not go on a birthday ride because you choose not to but from the preceding paragraph it doesn't sound like a choice at all. It sounds like you don't go because your wife doesn't want to. Curious if, on your wife's birthday, that she does what you want?

On Fathers, Mothers, Birth - Days in our family it is usually the honoured persons choice as to what will happen. Choice of cafe, activity etc... although one could say we care enough about each other to make it a mutually agreeable experience. It is fine if other people have a different system of course but I would hope the same sense of give and take applies. People should not feel like they have to sneak off in spare moments to enjoy their passions. They should be celebrated as a vital part of who they are.
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Old 02-06-19, 11:01 AM
  #177  
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I would never have guessed, seeing as I'm a big fan of icelandic literature Nevertheless, you have to agree, yours wasn't the subtlest of phrasing.
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Old 02-06-19, 11:06 AM
  #178  
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Originally Posted by Kapusta View Post
Translation: "I'm a white dude".
Ooh, an ignorant racist. How cute.
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Old 02-06-19, 11:23 AM
  #179  
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Originally Posted by livedarklions View Post
"Get counseling" isn't really relationship advice, it's advice to go somewhere else for advice.
"Somewhere else" is a responsible suggestion here, I think. The OP got input from other cyclists, but we are biased, do not have the time necessary or access to all parties to get a complete picture, and are not trained or skilled (or predisposed in my case - I seem to be able to create discord pretty easily with my comments) to resolve such issues.
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Old 02-06-19, 11:25 AM
  #180  
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Originally Posted by avole View Post
I would never have guessed, seeing as I'm a big fan of icelandic literature Nevertheless, you have to agree, yours wasn't the subtlest of phrasing.


Would it be impolite to note the reputation of France in the humor department?

Really weird turn to a particularly silly thread.
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Old 02-06-19, 11:29 AM
  #181  
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Originally Posted by downhillmaster View Post

Ooh, an ignorant racist. How cute.
That's kind of what I was thinking.
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Old 02-06-19, 11:30 AM
  #182  
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Originally Posted by WizardOfBoz View Post
"Somewhere else" is a responsible suggestion here, I think. The OP got input from other cyclists, but we are biased, do not have the time necessary or access to all parties to get a complete picture, and are not trained or skilled (or predisposed in my case - I seem to be able to create discord pretty easily with my comments) to resolve such issues.

Totally agree with that. So much so, that I think I posted some variation on it about three times.

People's advice to strangers about such things generally says a lot about the person giving the advice and nothing about the person seeking it.

I'm pretty sure OP wishes he could take this thread down, judging from his calling everyone "nuts".
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Old 02-06-19, 11:52 AM
  #183  
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Originally Posted by livedarklions View Post
Would it be impolite to note the reputation of France in the humor department?

Really weird turn to a particularly silly thread.
Not really. I was brought up on some particularly silly British carry on films, where double entendre, usually led by a smirking Kenneth Williams, was de jour. If you haven't seen them, try

Warning: these films display the best and worst of British humour. I doubt many would find them amusing now, since the double entendre is almost thankfully no more.

Last edited by avole; 02-06-19 at 11:55 AM.
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Old 02-06-19, 11:59 AM
  #184  
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Originally Posted by Kapusta View Post
Translation: "I'm a white dude".
Translation : Because I've read that somewhere and I think it's the problem .. So it must be ... Lol
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Old 02-06-19, 12:13 PM
  #185  
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Originally Posted by avole View Post
Not really. I was brought up on some particularly silly British carry on films, where double entendre, usually led by a smirking Kenneth Williams, was de jour. If you haven't seen them, try Carry on up the Khyber

Warning: these films display the best and worst of British humour. I doubt many would find them amusing now, since the double entendre is almost thankfully no more.

Trust me, that was never in the same galaxy as the best of British humor.
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Old 02-06-19, 12:45 PM
  #186  
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The politics is not acceptable, gentlemen.

Closed, regardless, too far off topic.
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