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Bike people humor, although a bit crude so view at your own risk...

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Bike people humor, although a bit crude so view at your own risk...

Old 12-11-19, 10:47 AM
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3S1M
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Bike people humor, although a bit crude so view at your own risk...

I came across these on a FB board I belong to for bicycle builders I belong to and I had a good laugh. Thought I'd share with you all in case you haven't seen them.



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Old 12-11-19, 11:14 AM
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I was at the funeral of a bike shop buddy and it was heavily attended by other bike types and I was preparing to make my remarks and out of good taste decided NOT to say anything about wondering who was gonna get all his neat bike stuff. That might have been seen as crude.
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Old 12-11-19, 11:46 AM
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Yeah, good call on that one. LOL. Although if you said it I'm sure a lot of people would've been tickled. Sorry to hear about losing your friend.
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Old 12-11-19, 01:35 PM
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A good friend of mine died at age 54. I knew him for 30 years and all that time he rode older, beat to death bikes that he simply kept in service with repairs. His family had prepared the memorial and viewing, and in it they included the grail bike he got the summer before. Seeing that bike standing out in the room alone as a lone star, shut my mouth real quick. His son inherited his bike stuff, and the Italian Stallion hangs on a wall. Still would like the bike in my stable, but I do believe it is serving his son quite well in its current state.
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Old 12-11-19, 02:23 PM
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Originally Posted by thumpism View Post
I was at the funeral of a bike shop buddy and it was heavily attended by other bike types and I was preparing to make my remarks and out of good taste decided NOT to say anything about wondering who was gonna get all his neat bike stuff. That might have been seen as crude.

Eulogy humor is a dangerous art form.

Probably the right call.
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Old 12-11-19, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by livedarklions View Post
Eulogy humor is a dangerous art form.

Probably the right call.
Yep never joke where they probably have an empty coffin or two in the back. 😉
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Old 12-11-19, 05:56 PM
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The biggest humor here is the fact that some "bike person" apparently takes the concept of "screenshot" a bit too literally: they actually photograph computer screen using an external device...

Facepalm.
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Old 12-11-19, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by AndreyT View Post
The biggest humor here is the fact that some "bike person" apparently takes the concept of "screenshot" a bit too literally: they actually photograph computer screen using an external device...

Facepalm.
That's exactly how I do it when I'm in a rush, using my phone camera. Speed over quality.

When I have time, I'll make the screen shot with CTRL+PRTSCR, open a photo editor, and save it from there.
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Old 12-11-19, 09:34 PM
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Last edited by Tanstaafl; 12-11-19 at 09:40 PM.
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Old 12-12-19, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by AndreyT View Post
The biggest humor here is the fact that some "bike person" apparently takes the concept of "screenshot" a bit too literally: they actually photograph computer screen using an external device...

Facepalm.
I had a feeling I'd take crap for that one. You just can't please people. I did it cuz I wanted to send it to people through my phone. Most people I know are on their phones much more than email or FB. And since I already had it on my phone I dl'd it to my computer. How about just enjoy the humor. I mean really. Some people would complain if you gave them money.

I don't go on websites on my phone too much. Too small. I'm not as dialed in as some people and I don't care. Not sure why that would bother you.
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Old 12-12-19, 01:18 PM
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Do have a really close friend inform your wife what you actually paid for your bike or bikes so she doesnt sell them off cheap, in case of your early demise.
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Old 12-12-19, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by rydabent View Post
Do have a really close friend inform your wife what you actually paid for your bike or bikes so she doesnt sell them off cheap, in case of your early demise.
If I go first I'll leave my wife the login & password for this forum. I'm not responsible for what happens after that, but am reasonably sure my elaborate funeral will be cancelled in favor of being dumped in the lake with cement blocks tied to my
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Old 12-12-19, 05:31 PM
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I always liked this one...


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Old 12-12-19, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
Timely commuter bicycling related contest (#670) in the current New Yorker Magazine, vote on the best caption at

https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/contest#finalists



Originally Posted by alan s View Post
On thy left doesn’t make any sense. If the armored ride said it, she already passed and it’s too late. If the other rider said it, she’s on the right
My attempt:
Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
This reply too, is not a submission, but an observation. It looks like the knight on the right is on a cell phone.

As a caption, how about, "If I get hit, they'll need a can opener to pry the cell phone from my cold dead fingers."
Originally Posted by Charlton Heston
You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

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Old 12-12-19, 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Tanstaafl View Post



Totally did this when crossing thru a college campus.....right in front of a cop. Ooops.

I was swaying that sucker back and forth like the last 200m on the Champs.
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Old 12-12-19, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post



My attempt:

You're going too far with this "steel is real " thing.
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Old 12-12-19, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post

Not a cell phone, but holding his visor open.
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Old 12-13-19, 03:39 AM
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Bike people humor, although a bit crude so view at your own risk...

I was looking for a funny joke I read on Foo long ago, and I came upon this thread,The Ten Best Bicycle Jokes of All Time” (link) including this post commenting about one of the additional jokes posted.
Originally Posted by alicestrong View Post
yuck yuck one of my favorites, too. It was too dirty to make the list, I guess...
…fitting vis-à-vis the title of this current thread .

Last edited by Jim from Boston; 12-13-19 at 05:13 AM.
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Old 12-13-19, 07:07 AM
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Ok, it's PG......a variant of the joke

Three men die and go to heaven. Standing in line to get in past the gate they see St. Peter handing out bicycles to people entering. "Sweet, I get a bike!" Each person approaches the gate and St. Peter explains that how faithful they were to their wife is how nice a bike they get in heaven. The first man approaches and says "I was perfectly faithful my entire life." He is assigned a brand new Pinarello Dogma race bike and happily rides off. The second man comes forward and admits "my eyes wandered a few times and I was unfaithful once, I regret my poor decisions". St. Peter, seeing the man was repentant assigns him a very dependable and economical Fuji Sportif. The thrid man gets to the front of the line, he tells St. Peter "Every weekend I was in a different bed. I didn't care what they looked like and sowed my seed without repent." St. Peter looks him over and assigns the man a used Brompton. Later, the man riding the Brompton happens across the man riding the Pinarello. He's distraught. The man riding the Brompton tries to cheer him up and asks "what's the matter, you've got the sweetest bike of all of us!" He explains, "That's just the problem you see. I just saw my wife go by on a tricycle".
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Old 12-13-19, 08:09 AM
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Originally Posted by burnthesheep View Post
Totally did this when crossing thru a college campus.....right in front of a cop. Ooops.

I was swaying that sucker back and forth like the last 200m on the Champs.
Over the years, when Cycle Oregon has incorporated the Rim Road around Crater Lake, people have been ticketed by the N.P.S. for exceeding the speed limit. If you have the nerve you can easily get to 50+ on at least one of the descents.

Somewhere at home I have a photo of me passing one of the those speed recorder signs. It told me I was doing 6 m.p.h. I was riding a fully loaded bike slightly up hill into a stiff headwind.
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Old 12-13-19, 12:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Tanstaafl View Post






I got clocked by a cop with a radar gun doing a little over 30 in a 25. He showed me the number on the gun, I begged him to give me a ticket but he wouldn't.
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Old 12-13-19, 06:08 PM
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Meanwhile, in Australia
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Old 12-13-19, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by 3S1M View Post
I had a feeling I'd take crap for that one. You just can't please people. I did it cuz I wanted to send it to people through my phone. Most people I know are on their phones much more than email or FB. And since I already had it on my phone I dl'd it to my computer. How about just enjoy the humor. I mean really. Some people would complain if you gave them money.

I don't go on websites on my phone too much. Too small. I'm not as dialed in as some people and I don't care. Not sure why that would bother you.
I don’t mind seeing low resolution versions of those particular images.
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Old 12-13-19, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted by San Rensho View Post
I got clocked by a cop with a radar gun doing a little over 30 in a 25. He showed me the number on the gun, I begged him to give me a ticket but he wouldn't.
Back in Wisconsin, there was a nice twisty descent on a road with a 25 MPH speed limit. The last stretch was a straight drop followed by a sharp turn - I'd regularly hit the low 40s on that part, and the big guys could get going even faster.

I'm glad I never got a ticket, but it would have made a nice souvenir.
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Old 12-14-19, 10:30 AM
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Certainly falls in line with this thread.

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