Bike people humor, although a bit crude so view at your own risk...
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Bike people humor, although a bit crude so view at your own risk...
I came across these on a FB board I belong to for bicycle builders I belong to and I had a good laugh. Thought I'd share with you all in case you haven't seen them.
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I was at the funeral of a bike shop buddy and it was heavily attended by other bike types and I was preparing to make my remarks and out of good taste decided NOT to say anything about wondering who was gonna get all his neat bike stuff. That might have been seen as crude.
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Yeah, good call on that one. LOL. Although if you said it I'm sure a lot of people would've been tickled. Sorry to hear about losing your friend.
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A good friend of mine died at age 54. I knew him for 30 years and all that time he rode older, beat to death bikes that he simply kept in service with repairs. His family had prepared the memorial and viewing, and in it they included the grail bike he got the summer before. Seeing that bike standing out in the room alone as a lone star, shut my mouth real quick. His son inherited his bike stuff, and the Italian Stallion hangs on a wall. Still would like the bike in my stable, but I do believe it is serving his son quite well in its current state.
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I was at the funeral of a bike shop buddy and it was heavily attended by other bike types and I was preparing to make my remarks and out of good taste decided NOT to say anything about wondering who was gonna get all his neat bike stuff. That might have been seen as crude.
Eulogy humor is a dangerous art form.
Probably the right call.
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#6
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#7
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The biggest humor here is the fact that some "bike person" apparently takes the concept of "screenshot" a bit too literally: they actually photograph computer screen using an external device...
Facepalm.
Facepalm.
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When I have time, I'll make the screen shot with CTRL+PRTSCR, open a photo editor, and save it from there.
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I don't go on websites on my phone too much. Too small. I'm not as dialed in as some people and I don't care. Not sure why that would bother you.
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Do have a really close friend inform your wife what you actually paid for your bike or bikes so she doesnt sell them off cheap, in case of your early demise.
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If I go first I'll leave my wife the login & password for this forum. I'm not responsible for what happens after that, but am reasonably sure my elaborate funeral will be cancelled in favor of being dumped in the lake with cement blocks tied to my
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Timely commuter bicycling related contest (#670) in the current New Yorker Magazine, vote on the best caption at
https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/contest#finalists
https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/contest#finalists
This reply too, is not a submission, but an observation. It looks like the knight on the right is on a cell phone.
As a caption, how about, "If I get hit, they'll need a can opener to pry the cell phone from my cold dead fingers."
As a caption, how about, "If I get hit, they'll need a can opener to pry the cell phone from my cold dead fingers."
Originally Posted by Charlton Heston
You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Last edited by Jim from Boston; 12-12-19 at 06:39 PM.
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Bike people humor, although a bit crude so view at your own risk...
I was looking for a funny joke I read on Foo long ago, and I came upon this thread,“The Ten Best Bicycle Jokes of All Time” (link) including this post commenting about one of the additional jokes posted. …fitting vis-à-vis the title of this current thread .
I was looking for a funny joke I read on Foo long ago, and I came upon this thread,“The Ten Best Bicycle Jokes of All Time” (link) including this post commenting about one of the additional jokes posted. …fitting vis-à-vis the title of this current thread .
Last edited by Jim from Boston; 12-13-19 at 05:13 AM.
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Ok, it's PG......a variant of the joke
Three men die and go to heaven. Standing in line to get in past the gate they see St. Peter handing out bicycles to people entering. "Sweet, I get a bike!" Each person approaches the gate and St. Peter explains that how faithful they were to their wife is how nice a bike they get in heaven. The first man approaches and says "I was perfectly faithful my entire life." He is assigned a brand new Pinarello Dogma race bike and happily rides off. The second man comes forward and admits "my eyes wandered a few times and I was unfaithful once, I regret my poor decisions". St. Peter, seeing the man was repentant assigns him a very dependable and economical Fuji Sportif. The thrid man gets to the front of the line, he tells St. Peter "Every weekend I was in a different bed. I didn't care what they looked like and sowed my seed without repent." St. Peter looks him over and assigns the man a used Brompton. Later, the man riding the Brompton happens across the man riding the Pinarello. He's distraught. The man riding the Brompton tries to cheer him up and asks "what's the matter, you've got the sweetest bike of all of us!" He explains, "That's just the problem you see. I just saw my wife go by on a tricycle".
Three men die and go to heaven. Standing in line to get in past the gate they see St. Peter handing out bicycles to people entering. "Sweet, I get a bike!" Each person approaches the gate and St. Peter explains that how faithful they were to their wife is how nice a bike they get in heaven. The first man approaches and says "I was perfectly faithful my entire life." He is assigned a brand new Pinarello Dogma race bike and happily rides off. The second man comes forward and admits "my eyes wandered a few times and I was unfaithful once, I regret my poor decisions". St. Peter, seeing the man was repentant assigns him a very dependable and economical Fuji Sportif. The thrid man gets to the front of the line, he tells St. Peter "Every weekend I was in a different bed. I didn't care what they looked like and sowed my seed without repent." St. Peter looks him over and assigns the man a used Brompton. Later, the man riding the Brompton happens across the man riding the Pinarello. He's distraught. The man riding the Brompton tries to cheer him up and asks "what's the matter, you've got the sweetest bike of all of us!" He explains, "That's just the problem you see. I just saw my wife go by on a tricycle".
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Somewhere at home I have a photo of me passing one of the those speed recorder signs. It told me I was doing 6 m.p.h. I was riding a fully loaded bike slightly up hill into a stiff headwind.
#21
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I got clocked by a cop with a radar gun doing a little over 30 in a 25. He showed me the number on the gun, I begged him to give me a ticket but he wouldn't.
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Il faut de l'audace, encore de l'audace, toujours de l'audace
1980 3Rensho-- 1975 Raleigh Sprite 3spd
1990s Raleigh M20 MTB--2007 Windsor Hour (track)
1988 Ducati 750 F1
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I had a feeling I'd take crap for that one. You just can't please people. I did it cuz I wanted to send it to people through my phone. Most people I know are on their phones much more than email or FB. And since I already had it on my phone I dl'd it to my computer. How about just enjoy the humor. I mean really. Some people would complain if you gave them money.
I don't go on websites on my phone too much. Too small. I'm not as dialed in as some people and I don't care. Not sure why that would bother you.
I don't go on websites on my phone too much. Too small. I'm not as dialed in as some people and I don't care. Not sure why that would bother you.
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I'm glad I never got a ticket, but it would have made a nice souvenir.