Farting thunderously, thought I was alone
06-21-05, 09:19 PM
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Farting thunderously, thought I was alone
How come whenever I reallllllyyyyyyyy feel the need to ease internal pressure, theres always someone around???
eg, once on the way home on my commute in the dark, pressure was mounting so I stood on the pedals and let fly a broadside only to see a pedestrian recoiling. I didn't see him in the dark and there's never anyone there anyway.
Another time, out in the middle of the countryside on a rail trail, after checking there's no other riders, I let go of some power bar pressure. Immediately a chorus of howling protests issued from some trackside bushes - there were a bunch of boys hiding out there, up to no good probably. It was just so surprising, the nearest village or even farmhouse was miles away.
eg, once on the way home on my commute in the dark, pressure was mounting so I stood on the pedals and let fly a broadside only to see a pedestrian recoiling. I didn't see him in the dark and there's never anyone there anyway.
Another time, out in the middle of the countryside on a rail trail, after checking there's no other riders, I let go of some power bar pressure. Immediately a chorus of howling protests issued from some trackside bushes - there were a bunch of boys hiding out there, up to no good probably. It was just so surprising, the nearest village or even farmhouse was miles away.
06-21-05, 11:33 PM
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lol, I don't seem to have to fart when I'm on the bike very often. Standing up for a long time I do, though 
06-21-05, 11:48 PM
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Man, when I'm on my bike, I don't give a crap. It's a little different, though, when I'm at work in my mostly silent office. Even a pffftttt sound gets everyone's attention.
06-21-05, 11:59 PM
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The only time I'm at work is when we're really busy, so that means there's probably 15 computers plus the A/C and fans in the store running... doesnt do anything about the smell though, lol
06-22-05, 01:44 AM
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heh, I think it's pretty funny that the top word for the Goodle Ads is "farting machine" at the time I happened upon this post. 
06-22-05, 02:34 AM
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I use a slight hand-waving motion near my butt to indicate that I'm going to scoot to the side and release the blowoff valve so that anyone following in my draft has ample warning and can take some precautionary measures to keep from being the victim of a chemical attack.
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06-22-05, 04:23 AM
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I let one go as I was passing a ped, didnt notice her until she said "nice" in a disgusted tone, and crossed against the lights I had just stopped at. As I went by I said "Sorry, didnt see you there" and continued down the hill....
a
a
06-22-05, 04:40 AM
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06-22-05, 05:02 AM
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All of you are disgusting-----I never fart ever.
06-22-05, 05:06 AM
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Ive always said that a fine tuned engine needs a free flowing exhaust. I save mine for the hills. Coupled with the open V (stands for vortex) on the back of my Specialized seat I actually gain some thrust(ala passing gear). The magic fuel= beans with raisins for desert.
06-22-05, 05:30 AM
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ROFL Tears in my eyes. Why is farting so darn funny? Must be the kid in us.
Thanks for a good larf.
Thanks for a good larf.
06-22-05, 05:54 AM
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I fart on the bike all the time, luckily there's never anyone around.
Work is a different story...
I'm alone in the backroom, organizing files all day. I haven't seen anyone in like 3 hours, so I figure it's safe to let one slide. I do, it feels great, but it starts to smell a bit as it wafts around. As this occurs, one of the lawyers pops around the corner and starts talking. 10 seconds later I can tell he's smelled it and there's no one else around to blame it on. The conversation turns awkward and he rushes off.
Also, why is it that they NEVER need me or come looking for me unless I'm in the middle of a dump? What's the deal with that? It's most annoying.
Work is a different story...
I'm alone in the backroom, organizing files all day. I haven't seen anyone in like 3 hours, so I figure it's safe to let one slide. I do, it feels great, but it starts to smell a bit as it wafts around. As this occurs, one of the lawyers pops around the corner and starts talking. 10 seconds later I can tell he's smelled it and there's no one else around to blame it on. The conversation turns awkward and he rushes off.
Also, why is it that they NEVER need me or come looking for me unless I'm in the middle of a dump? What's the deal with that? It's most annoying.
06-22-05, 06:50 AM
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Oh.... god!.... I... Can't .,.....stop..... laughing......!!!!!!!
Tooo.....F$@#ing....... FUNNY!!!!!
Tooo.....F$@#ing....... FUNNY!!!!!
06-22-05, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by jbonus
That's why I wouldn't buy a used saddle. I'll mark my own territory, thank you.
06-22-05, 09:00 AM
#16
Sore saddle cyclist
Originally Posted by biketownblogger
heh, I think it's pretty funny that the top word for the Goodle Ads is "farting machine" at the time I happened upon this post. 
06-22-05, 01:21 PM
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This whole thread is bringing me to tears.
I just laughed so hard it made me fart.
I just laughed so hard it made me fart.
06-22-05, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Shifty
Right! and if you click that link the top reference is for a "Remote Controlled Fart Machine", that's where I stop searching!
In terms of cycling: One of the biggest infractions against cycling ettiquette is farting while seated. That is a no-no. Always good to elevate and blow your horn.
06-22-05, 05:18 PM
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No big deal about the farting. A few seconds and you're poast the dank brown cloud.
But shart even just a little and that century ride is going to be VERY uncomfortable.
But shart even just a little and that century ride is going to be VERY uncomfortable.
06-22-05, 05:23 PM
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The "one cheek sneak" is as good on the bike as it is in church...
06-22-05, 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by HWS
Raw spinach tears me up......and I eat a ton of it
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"Be liberal in what you accept, and conservative in what you send." -- Jon Postel, RFC1122
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06-22-05, 09:08 PM
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As Dennis Miller once said: "why do 10 year old boys find farts hysterically funny?" "because farts are hysterically funny!"
06-22-05, 11:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Rob944
As Dennis Miller once said: "why do 10 year old boys find farts hysterically funny?" "because farts are hysterically funny!"
Ms. Guines was a legend to me and my friends until we, too, rapidly mastered the one cheek sneak technique and became equally adept at blaming others. sic transit gloria mundi...