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All's Well That Ends Well

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All's Well That Ends Well

Old 09-21-20, 02:13 PM
  #1  
berner
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All's Well That Ends Well

A few days ago my car ended up with a dead battery while parked in front of the library. Mostly my own fault as I'd left the headlights on. But the battery was old and it had crossed my mind to install a new one. I ended up walking home as the distance is only a mile. The next day I rode my bike to an auto parts place, also a mile or so. With the bike leaning against the building, I set the new battery, retail price $140, on the rear rack while getting some rope ready to tie it down. Suddenly, due to a passing gravity wave, the bike rolled a bit forward, the battery slid off and crashed onto the pavement and cracked open spilling acid. After a minute or so to gather my composure I walked back into the store, head hanging low and staring at my shoes, I told the clerk my sad storey. Well the dude gave me a another new battery. After tieing the battery on the bike, I made it back into town and reinstalled the new battery with no further incident. Today I stopped in the liquor store for a 12 pack of Samuel Adams Lager, then on to the auto parts store with my token of appreciation for the good hearted clerk. I love living in a small town.
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Old 09-21-20, 02:20 PM
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Kind of mean giving someone a mediocre macrobrew, but your appreciation was sincere, so your karma is once again in balance.
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Old 09-21-20, 04:12 PM
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I'm shocked that the acid didnt heavily coat your bicycle.
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Old 09-21-20, 05:19 PM
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Turns out, the lonely clerk had been on the wagon for nearly a year, and your small gift was just enough to entice him back to his former self. One thing led to another -- a reckless binge, thrown out of a strip club, landed on his face, and a subsequent DUI (his third). Fortunately, the prison dentist was able to cap his front teeth, which were sorta messed up to begin. Inside, he made some new friends that are also into muscle cars, and he no longer needs to worry about rent. All's well that ends well.
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Old 09-21-20, 07:08 PM
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^^^^ You left out the part about his "new" friends running a chop shop and shipping cars to Mexico in exchange for Sianola weed and the DEA putting the squeeze on his parole unless he'd turn informant so now the once carefree & happy x bike messenger/liquor store clerk is scared Sh**less that he's going to get dismembered by some cartel enforcer because he found out that his court appointed lawyer was on the take and may have ratted him to a dirty cop so he stole all the money his mother had pledged to the assisted living facility and lit out for Idaho where he got a job at a bike shop and lives at the Morman shelter so if you ever think you want to show kindness to a good Samaritan THINK AGAIN because Idaho is not what (I) had in mind when (I) chugged that Sam Adams
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Old 09-21-20, 07:47 PM
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tough crowd!
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Old 09-22-20, 07:57 AM
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That is hilarious material!
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Old 09-22-20, 09:17 AM
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There has evidently been a recent release of inmates from the asylum.
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Old 09-22-20, 07:30 PM
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This is an excellent thread. We need more threads like this.
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Old 09-22-20, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by AdkMtnMonster View Post
Kind of mean giving someone a mediocre macrobrew, but your appreciation was sincere, so your karma is once again in balance.
Rule #1 of being given free beer is you don' get to complain about the brand of free beer.
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Old 09-22-20, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Leinster View Post
Rule #1 of being given free beer is you don' get to complain about the brand of free beer.
Ah, but I will silently protest with abstinence.
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Old 09-23-20, 06:47 PM
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I do the 'Brewski Bribe' to my local auto junkyard as well.. Every so often I'll drop of a case off 'for the boys' because they treat me well... Many times I'm waved out with a 'getthehellouttahere' rather than be bothered with writing something up...

I only wish I had a bicycle co-op in my area - or one that would be as bribe-friendly!
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