Where do you serious riders store cell/wallet/keys while riding?
 

??

Jersey pockets. I try not to carry keys, though. If riding from home, I can get in through the keypad on the garage. If driving to a ride, I only carry the valet key instead of my whole keychain.

If I'm riding after work, it means I'm driving most of the way home, so I have to carry car key, wallet, and phone. Each goes in a ziploc bag and into a different jersey pocket. I don't have one of those 3 lb wallets you see some guys carry (why? You only ever need maybe 3 things out of all that stuff!)

If I'm driving from home to ride, I stick my license, car insurance card, health insurance card, and a $10 in the ziploc with my phone, and the car key (fob, really) in another pocket with my housekeys.

If I'm riding from home, same as above but I don't bother with the car insurance card or the key fob.

I have a top tube bag on my bikes, so I use them as a glove compartment. Or I just use a jersey pocket.

In the bag on my bike next to the spare tire.

secure the home using wifi from the phone, pay with app, shuttle service to destination.

I put my phone in a jersey pocket. If I'm on a bike with a seat bag (most of them have one) I'll put my car key in there, and also driver license and debit card. I don't like to carry my whole wallet.

Other items for the jersey pockets include a packet or two of Gu, and sometimes a small tire pump.

This.

I pair down to my licence, an ATM card and an emergency ID card that has contact names on it. Plus a house or car key and my phone.

I pretty much piddle with my phone for the entirety of my rides. I don't carry a wallet. Just a few bucks for a cold beer at the halfway point. I hide my house or truck keys so that I don't have to burden myself or others with where I should put them while I am riding.

I think I will buy a seat bag for when I start to ride longer distances.

My first gear purchase for my $299 bike that is 15 years old!
Rabbit hole !?!!?!

Like one of these?
https://www.amazon.com/bike-seat-pac...8&node=3403471

$8 on Ebay.
https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_fro...t&_dcat=177833

With the prevalence of very large and expensive cell phones, I opted to pick up a "burner" phone and keep in my bag or pocket for emergency calls. No other real reason to carry one.
I got an ID only card and put that in my bike bag, next to the spare as so succinctly described above, so no need for my wallet. I keep an appropriate amount of cash along with it based on the plans for the ride. Generally a single $20 bill suits most requirement.
I NEVER EVER carry my keys on a bike ride. I typically will hide them on my vehicle if away from it, or leave them at home, etc. If there is a specific need to have A key (door to the truck) I tuck it in the bike bag as well. After having lost a set of keys, complete (house, work, car, everything) I learned what a bad idea that was.

Define “serious riders.”

Just pick up a few inexpensive jerseys - https://www.assos.com/us/equipe-rs-s...on-181329.html

Strava

The ones who never smile while riding.

Not needed if you have a head unit that allows downloading the data.

one who doesn't waive.

I don't use spandex costumes...I wear clothes that have a lot pockets.

My support vehicle has this stuff. Is this a serious question?

Any cyclist who shaves their legs and wears $ 400 dollar bibs is a serious cyclist.

I like Hot Pockets when I’m in the mood for junky comfort food.

Then I’m only half serious.

My longest ride is 25 mins. I figure anyone who rides an hour is serious.

"serious rider"

Serious cyclists don't record their activities on their phone. Come on, now.