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What would you do about this fiasco?

Old 04-28-22, 06:05 AM
  #1  
bruce19
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What would you do about this fiasco?

A woman I know was looking for a replacement SRAM 10 sp mechanical shifter. She is a member of our club and someone I've know for at least 10 yrs. We've always been on good terms. She knows I have extra "stuff" lying around so she called and asked if I knew where she could find the shifters. As it turns out, I had exactly what she needed. SRAM Ribal 10 sp. with less than 1,000 miles on them.

When I bought my GURU I swapped them out for SRAM Red. Actually, a friend and former LBS owner had done the swap for me. They have been sitting in a box on the shelf for about 4 yrs. So this woman came over with her new boyfriend to buy the shifters. FWIW they are both around 50 yrs old. He took the shifters out of the box to examine them. They bought them for $100 and went off.

I should mention that this woman is recently divorced, has no money and is trying to rebuild her life. I had previously given her a wheel set with Vittoria tires and tubes. As I said, she has no money and I was trying to help. About 4 days later I get a text. She says her BF tried to fit the shifters and discovered that the one she needed doesn't work. I was more than a little surprised but thought maybe there was an internal issue so I gave her the $100 back and took the box of shifters. I never even looked at them.

I took them straight to my LBS and asked them to check them out. I have a very good relationship with the shop. The owner opened the box and said, "Well there's your problem. The lever is snapped off." WTF? So I called my friend who had done the swap and he said they were perfect and he had wondered why I even wanted to swap them. So, I texted her and gave her the run down. I'll skip all the discussion but I made it clear that IMO the lever was snapped during a failed attempt to install it.

At this point I should mention that the LBS has said that if someone didn't know what they were doing they could easily mount them only to find them inoperable. Then they could have used excessive pressure thinking they had to shift it harder and snap it. Let me also mention that when I first texted her I think she realized the BF screwed up. She offered to give me the $100 back. I declined. As I said she has no money. Her full time job is as a midwife. I've pretty much settled on moving on but with her out of my life. Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or observations about this.

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Old 04-28-22, 06:11 AM
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Did you check that they were working fine and in proper condition when you sold them to her? Did you show her they worked fine when you gave her the cash? Did she admit that she broke them?

If you didn't confirm the worked before selling to her, you're not without some fault in this.

If she admitted breaking them, then she should own up to it, keep the broken levers and you keep her $100.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:16 AM
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I'm guessing the bf is the problem, not your female friend.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:16 AM
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You sold them shifters that are both around 50 years old. I would move on.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:19 AM
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
You sold them shifters that are both around 50 years old. I would move on.
I caught that, too.

Good lesson in the difference between syntax and grammar.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:49 AM
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The boyfriend should pony up the $100. If he doesn't, he should be the ex-boyfriend.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:01 AM
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I wonder if they were parts swappers? Are the shifters the exact same ones you sold them? In the radio hobby world some times "parts swappers" with a broken radio will buy a similar radio from someone online, swap out the bad part with the good part from the new radio, then contact the seller and claim the radio didn't work upon arrival and demand a refund. They get the refund, send the now-broken radio back to the seller and use their repaired radio. I was wondering if maybe these two hatched a scheme to swap out their broken parts with good parts, but it would take some knowing about bicycle parts and getting the exact same parts they wanted to swap.

Still, claiming "these parts don't work" and then giving them back to the OP in broken condition ought to negate getting their money back.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:02 AM
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Originally Posted by bruce19 View Post
A woman I know was looking for a replacement SRAM 10 sp mechanical shifter. She is a member of our club and someone I've know for at least 10 yrs. We've always been on good terms. She knows I have extra "stuff" lying around so she called and asked if I knew where she could find the shifters. As it turns out, I had exactly what she needed. SRAM Ribal 10 sp. with less than 1,000 miles on them. When I bought my GURU I swapped them out for SRAM Red. Actually, a friend and former LBS owner had done the swap for me. They have been sitting in a box on the shelf for about 4 yrs. So this woman came over with her new boyfriend to buy the shifters. FWIW they are both around 50 yrs old. He took the shifters out of the box to examine them. They bought them for $100 and went off. I should mention that this woman is recently divorced, has no money and is trying to rebuild her life. I had previously given her a wheel set with Vittoria tires and tubes. As I said, she has no money and I was trying to help. About 4 days later I get a text. She says her BF tried to fit the shifters and discovered that the one she needed doesn't work. I was more than a little surprised but thought maybe there was an internal issue so I gave her the $100 back and took the box of shifters. I never even looked at them. I took them straight to my LBS and asked them to check them out. I have a very good relationship with the shop. The owner opened the box and said, "Well there's your problem. The lever is snapped off." WTF? So I called my friend who had done the swap and he said they were perfect and he had wondered why I even wanted to swap them. So, I texted her and gave her the run down. I'll skip all the discussion but I made it clear that IMO the lever was snapped during a failed attempt to install it. At this point I should mention that the LBS has said that if someone didn't know what they were doing they could easily mount them only to find them inoperable. Then they could have used excessive pressure thinking they had to shift it harder and snap it. Let me also mention that when I first texted her I think she realized the BF screwed up. She offered to give me the $100 back. I declined. As I said she has no money. Her full time job is as a midwife. I've pretty much settled on moving on but with her out of my life. Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or observations about this.
Based on the bolded portions, I suggest not kicking this friend to the curb over something you had "just sitting around for 4 years" just yet. Unless you can get her kicked out your club or quit your club it could make for some awkward group rides JMO. I can just imagine the "boyfriend" mansplaning how good his bike wrenching skills are, so no need to have the shifter mounted at a shop. If anything, he owes you the $100 if he's man enough to own up to it. Cut your friend some slack. She needs a new boyfriend.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:04 AM
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If it was some stuff sitting in your parts box might as well get over it and move on. Charity is a ***** sometimes.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:19 AM
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Move on, Karma is alive and well. Hopefully she will ask/need for more parts in the future and you can yes I do but no....
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Old 04-28-22, 07:26 AM
  #11  
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you did good with good intent. this chapter is closed so just put the book down.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:28 AM
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Money tends to ruin friendship.

If her BF did the labor of the swap & is the one that actually broke the shifter, the question I have is, is she in the know of how it unfolded when the BF was doing the work? Did she witness the BF breaking it? Did the BF disclose to her that he might've broke it? If she truly does not know & was only the financial backer of it, then I would not blackball her entirely. Just keep it in mind for future purposes. Nothing wrong to keep a friend as a social means.

I have a feeling the BF broke it, discredited your reputation from selling her bum parts, & deflected any self responsibility.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Koyote View Post
Good lesson in the difference between syntax and grammar.
Well...

The syntax and grammar are both fine.

That's not what the (minor) problem was.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:42 AM
  #14  
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Originally Posted by bruce19 View Post
What would you do about this fiasco?
You pretty-much answered your own question.

Anyway, it's certainly a frustrating situation.

The problem is likely the boyfriend (it doesn't seem the woman is mechanical).

$100 was a very good deal on those.

If the broken one is the left, there would be someone who would appreciate being able to buy the right shifter.

Last edited by njkayaker; 04-28-22 at 07:47 AM.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:44 AM
  #15  
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Originally Posted by DonkeyShow View Post
If it was some stuff sitting in your parts box might as well get over it and move on. Charity is a ***** sometimes.
They are easily $200+ "parts" that would have been useful to somebody.

It's a waste due to somebody's carelessness.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:54 AM
  #16  
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Originally Posted by bruce19 View Post
A woman I know was looking for a replacement SRAM 10 sp mechanical shifter. She is a member of our club and someone I've know for at least 10 yrs. We've always been on good terms. She knows I have extra "stuff" lying around so she called and asked if I knew where she could find the shifters. As it turns out, I had exactly what she needed. SRAM Ribal 10 sp. with less than 1,000 miles on them. When I bought my GURU I swapped them out for SRAM Red. Actually, a friend and former LBS owner had done the swap for me. They have been sitting in a box on the shelf for about 4 yrs. So this woman came over with her new boyfriend to buy the shifters. FWIW they are both around 50 yrs old. He took the shifters out of the box to examine them. They bought them for $100 and went off. I should mention that this woman is recently divorced, has no money and is trying to rebuild her life. I had previously given her a wheel set with Vittoria tires and tubes. As I said, she has no money and I was trying to help. About 4 days later I get a text. She says her BF tried to fit the shifters and discovered that the one she needed doesn't work. I was more than a little surprised but thought maybe there was an internal issue so I gave her the $100 back and took the box of shifters. I never even looked at them. I took them straight to my LBS and asked them to check them out. I have a very good relationship with the shop. The owner opened the box and said, "Well there's your problem. The lever is snapped off." WTF? So I called my friend who had done the swap and he said they were perfect and he had wondered why I even wanted to swap them. So, I texted her and gave her the run down. I'll skip all the discussion but I made it clear that IMO the lever was snapped during a failed attempt to install it. At this point I should mention that the LBS has said that if someone didn't know what they were doing they could easily mount them only to find them inoperable. Then they could have used excessive pressure thinking they had to shift it harder and snap it. Let me also mention that when I first texted her I think she realized the BF screwed up. She offered to give me the $100 back. I declined. As I said she has no money. Her full time job is as a midwife. I've pretty much settled on moving on but with her out of my life. Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or observations about this.
Dude move on, sad story but lesson learned. How one could break it? The dude was not in any way a bike guy and had no clue what he was doing when trying to install.
Write it off to one of life's lessons. Sorry I'd be pissed as well.
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Old 04-28-22, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Koyote View Post
I caught that, too.

Good lesson in the difference between syntax and grammar.
Originally Posted by njkayaker View Post
Well...

The syntax and grammar are both fine.

That's not what the (minor) problem was.
Yes, you're correct, since (as I understand it) syntax refers to the relationships among words in a sentence -- and this was a problem between sentences. But I wasn't sure what that problem is called. Perhaps it is just called "unclear writing."
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Old 04-28-22, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Koyote View Post
Yes, you're correct, since (as I understand it) syntax refers to the relationships among words in a sentence -- and this was a problem between sentences. But I wasn't sure what that problem is called. Perhaps it is just called "unclear writing."
It's really an idea order issue (outside of the order, it's clear enough). But no one was confused (10 speed stuff only seems like it's 50 years old).
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Old 04-28-22, 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted by topflightpro View Post
Did you check that they were working fine and in proper condition when you sold them to her? Did you show her they worked fine when you gave her the cash? Did she admit that she broke them?

If you didn't confirm the worked before selling to her, you're not without some fault in this.

If she admitted breaking them, then she should own up to it, keep the broken levers and you keep her $100.
The LBS owner who swapped them out said they were working perfectly, They were only one year and 1,000 miles old. They were put in a box for 4 years. When her BF took them out of the box to inspect them the lever was not snapped off.
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Old 04-28-22, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Koyote View Post
I'm guessing the bf is the problem, not your female friend.
I would bet he didn't tell her he snapped it off. But, when I explained to her what the issue was she said she'd get back to me. She ghosted me.
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Old 04-28-22, 08:45 AM
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Originally Posted by FBOATSB View Post
Based on the bolded portions, I suggest not kicking this friend to the curb over something you had "just sitting around for 4 years" just yet. Unless you can get her kicked out your club or quit your club it could make for some awkward group rides JMO. I can just imagine the "boyfriend" mansplaning how good his bike wrenching skills are, so no need to have the shifter mounted at a shop. If anything, he owes you the $100 if he's man enough to own up to it. Cut your friend some slack. She needs a new boyfriend.
I understand your perspective and I'm not going after her. As I said I declined her offer to keep the $100. But, she made a choice when she ghosted me. Now she gets to have a BF who has lied and I get to not have either in my life. That's how I'm looking at it.right now.
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Old 04-28-22, 08:57 AM
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Just a short note.......I gave the good lever to the LBS owner (a friend) and told him to give it to someone if he knew someone who needed it. I'm disappointed in her because I've tried to help her before. When her kids wanted their first cell phone she couldn't afford them. My GF and I had 3 lying around so I gave them to her. When she left her husband and the religious cult they had been in I got her a book written by a woman that described her journey through similar circumstances. I am reminded of a quote I made up about 25 yrs ago...."Disappointment lives in the shadow of expectation."
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Old 04-28-22, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by bruce19 View Post
The LBS owner who swapped them out said they were working perfectly, They were only one year and 1,000 miles old. They were put in a box for 4 years. When her BF took them out of the box to inspect them the lever was not snapped off.
It would take a lot of effort snap the lever off. It it wasn't working, one would know well before snapping the lever off.

Originally Posted by bruce19 View Post
Just a short note.......I gave the good lever to the LBS owner (a friend) and told him to give it to someone if he knew someone who needed it. I'm disappointed in her because I've tried to help her before. When her kids wanted their first cell phone she couldn't afford them. My GF and I had 3 lying around so I gave them to her. When she left her husband and the religious cult they had been in I got her a book written by a woman that described her journey through similar circumstances. I am reminded of a quote I made up about 25 yrs ago...."Disappointment lives in the shadow of expectation."
She did offer the $100 back. People in these sorts of situations can be a challenge. She might be stuck in the middle between you and the BF (and that might not be an easy situation).

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Old 04-28-22, 10:06 AM
  #24  
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Friends

A good friend is generally worth more than the $100 in question.
IF she is a "good friend" make the right decision.
After all, she did, in offering to return the $100.

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Old 04-28-22, 10:10 AM
  #25  
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As long as she doesn’t say anything at club events that puts you in a bad light, I would pretend it didn’t even happen.

I would guess that coming out of a cult situation, with no money, and easy prey to fall into another manipulative situation, shifters might be least of her worries; and definitely not something for you to lose sleep over.

I’d forget about the ghosting also. You don’t know what is going on in her current relationship.

John
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