The Worst Ride Ever!
06-04-23, 08:38 PM
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The Worst Ride Ever!
I went for a ride today, and it ended horribly! First, my electronic shifting died - right in the middle of my ride. The bike is only a year old, and the battery is completely dead! I guess I'll have to take it back to the shop and have them re-charge it. Man, what a hassle. I've never had anything like that happen with my good ol' mechanical bikes. Electronic shifting sucks.
Anyway, as I was single-speeding toward home, I got a flat tire. Sheesh. The guys at the shop told me that these tubeless tires would end those problems -- but there I was, sitting on the roadside with a flat tire. When I took the tire off the rim, I found that there was no sealant inside! I mean, they set these up when I bought the bike (remember, that was only a year ago), and now there's NO SEALANT! I mean, where did it go? Sealant is about $12 for a bottle, and that ain't cheap! Hell, I can buy a whole inner tube for that much money. Tubeless sucks.
To make matters worse, when I had the wheel off the bike, the brake rotor sliced open my hand; those things are dangerous! They probably ought to be banned! I can't believe that anyone likes disc brakes. I mean, Fred Flintstone stops his car with just his feet -- so who needs disc brakes? Hmm? Think about it, people. Use logic. Anyway, by this point, I had the tire off the rim, but my hand was all injured and bloody, so I couldn't get the tire back ON the rim. Well, I had seen the Danny McCaskill video, so figured it was okay to ride home on my carbon fiber rim...But after only eight or nine miles, the entire rim started to assplode, with dangerously sharp cf shards flying all over the place! Man, I could've been killed. Or at least it might've put an eye out. My wheel had damn well better be covered under warranty. So far, my LBS' owner isn't sure that the manufacturer will cover this. I yelled at him, told him that he should go to bat for me -- after all, I bought a bike from him, so I should get the full VIP treatment. Sheesh...Why does anyone buy from a shop if the service is that weak? Might as well shop online and save a few bucks. Disc brakes suck, carbon fiber sucks, and LBS' suck.
By the way, after I finally got home, I realized that I left my helmet sitting on the roadside where I'd tried to fix my bike. Shoot, that helmet cost me $49! So, I rode back to get it on my assploding single-speed bike. It was easy to backtrack -- I just followed the trail of blood. 'Course, by the time I got home a second time, I was getting pretty woozy...And my hand was starting to look infected. All these people claim that helmets save lives. Hah! I might lose my hand because of a helmet.
And before anyone tells me that I did something wrong, made some mistake, let me tell you this: I have been riding bikes for 114 years --which is longer than any of you. Yeah, I was a mechanic in the Wright Brothers' bike shop, so I'm a bona fide industry professional -- so don't try telling me that I did something wrong. I know lots of bf'ers think they're super-smart and know more than everyone else around here -- but with me, yeah, it's true. Anyone who claims otherwise is going on my ignore list.
Anyway, as I was single-speeding toward home, I got a flat tire. Sheesh. The guys at the shop told me that these tubeless tires would end those problems -- but there I was, sitting on the roadside with a flat tire. When I took the tire off the rim, I found that there was no sealant inside! I mean, they set these up when I bought the bike (remember, that was only a year ago), and now there's NO SEALANT! I mean, where did it go? Sealant is about $12 for a bottle, and that ain't cheap! Hell, I can buy a whole inner tube for that much money. Tubeless sucks.
To make matters worse, when I had the wheel off the bike, the brake rotor sliced open my hand; those things are dangerous! They probably ought to be banned! I can't believe that anyone likes disc brakes. I mean, Fred Flintstone stops his car with just his feet -- so who needs disc brakes? Hmm? Think about it, people. Use logic. Anyway, by this point, I had the tire off the rim, but my hand was all injured and bloody, so I couldn't get the tire back ON the rim. Well, I had seen the Danny McCaskill video, so figured it was okay to ride home on my carbon fiber rim...But after only eight or nine miles, the entire rim started to assplode, with dangerously sharp cf shards flying all over the place! Man, I could've been killed. Or at least it might've put an eye out. My wheel had damn well better be covered under warranty. So far, my LBS' owner isn't sure that the manufacturer will cover this. I yelled at him, told him that he should go to bat for me -- after all, I bought a bike from him, so I should get the full VIP treatment. Sheesh...Why does anyone buy from a shop if the service is that weak? Might as well shop online and save a few bucks. Disc brakes suck, carbon fiber sucks, and LBS' suck.
By the way, after I finally got home, I realized that I left my helmet sitting on the roadside where I'd tried to fix my bike. Shoot, that helmet cost me $49! So, I rode back to get it on my assploding single-speed bike. It was easy to backtrack -- I just followed the trail of blood. 'Course, by the time I got home a second time, I was getting pretty woozy...And my hand was starting to look infected. All these people claim that helmets save lives. Hah! I might lose my hand because of a helmet.
And before anyone tells me that I did something wrong, made some mistake, let me tell you this: I have been riding bikes for 114 years --which is longer than any of you. Yeah, I was a mechanic in the Wright Brothers' bike shop, so I'm a bona fide industry professional -- so don't try telling me that I did something wrong. I know lots of bf'ers think they're super-smart and know more than everyone else around here -- but with me, yeah, it's true. Anyone who claims otherwise is going on my ignore list.
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06-04-23, 08:40 PM
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A little dumpster vodka would have made it all better.
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06-04-23, 08:41 PM
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06-04-23, 10:15 PM
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Clark W. Griswold
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I only ride single speed, you cannot have any issues while single speeding and really the only bikes that exist should be single speeds.
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06-04-23, 10:18 PM
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That's really odd -- the exact same thing happened to me last week when I was doing Strava segments on the MUP.
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06-04-23, 10:25 PM
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But as far as bad batteries, flats, and bloody injuries... Well... Sometimes its just your turn...
Glad ya made it back!
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06-05-23, 03:45 AM
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Or do you really only ride at one speed? 
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06-05-23, 05:51 AM
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Clearly your problems derive from being a poseur and riding a fancy racerboy bike. Had you been on a WallyDenali like mine (all anybody needs, BTW) most of this could have been avoided. When it flats, leave it by the side of the road and call Uber.
06-05-23, 06:03 AM
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I think your bike was fitted with Sealant Adverse Tires, or "satires", and that all your problems came from a "pair o' deese".
06-05-23, 06:12 AM
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Clearly not a serious cyclist. Spring for a Rapha kit and HTFU.
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06-05-23, 07:00 AM
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shoulda just test road one from a lbs for a few hours/days/months while having them load it up with off there shelves accessories too.
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06-05-23, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Koyote;22912761When I took the tire off the rim, I found that there was no sealant inside! I mean, they set these up when I bought the bike (remember, that was [i
only[/i] a year ago), and now there's NO SEALANT
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"It is the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels." -- Heinz Stücke
"It is the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels." -- Heinz Stücke
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06-05-23, 08:58 AM
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Never mind electronic shifting, even indexed brifters are too fancy and unreliable. You wouldn’t have anywhere near the same hassle with DT friction shifters.
I ride a unicycle with solid rubber tyres for minimal maintenance
I ride a unicycle with solid rubber tyres for minimal maintenance
06-05-23, 10:28 AM
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Clark W. Griswold
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06-05-23, 11:42 AM
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Ever looked closely at those "Bigwheel" trikes the little kids ride? When the plastic wheel starts to wear, eventually parts crack and come off but you can still keep right on riding. It's like riding on the rims but it'll get you home. That's all one really needs!
06-05-23, 11:43 AM
#23
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06-05-23, 12:43 PM
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This would have been much more believable had you been riding shirtless and stopped to light up a joint.
As it is, I call B.S.
As it is, I call B.S.
06-05-23, 01:00 PM
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pictures please.....
also I suggest not buying any lottery tickets in the near future........clearly karma is not on your side
also I suggest not buying any lottery tickets in the near future........clearly karma is not on your side
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Life is too short not to ride the best bike you have, as much as you can
(looking for Torpado Super light frame/fork or for Raleigh International frame fork 58cm)
Life is too short not to ride the best bike you have, as much as you can
(looking for Torpado Super light frame/fork or for Raleigh International frame fork 58cm)
