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cycling -vs- relationships

Old 08-08-05, 12:51 PM
  #51  
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Originally Posted by snowy
OMG Reich17
The use of panniers shocks you?
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Old 08-08-05, 01:27 PM
  #52  
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must go through a lot of Lysol...
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Old 08-09-05, 03:41 AM
  #53  
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Originally Posted by christie133
Does one stay w/ the boyfriend who wants to marry her and not have that image actualized, but also not really enjoy her free time riding her bike, reading good books, and traveling around, or spend the next 30 years riding, reading, and traveling, only to find herself alone in that basement apartment? If only I'd never learned how to ride a bike--relationships would be so much easier.
On the other hand, what would you have missed out on had you never learned to ride a bike? It's human nature to wonder about "the road not taken". It doesn't really matter what choices you make, you'll always wonder about the option you rejected. The question to ask yourself is this: what do you want to do in the next 30 years? And how do you know that you will or won't be alone in that basement apartment in 30 years time regardless?

You may well outlive your partner and find yourself all alone in the same place without ever having done any of the things you wanted to do. Conversely, if you take the chance to do them, you might meet someone willing to share those adventures with you along the way. What people should consider here are their priorities. Just how important is it to be in a relationship? It is really worth trying to stick out a relationship when you're not sure it's what you want?

* * * * *

You know, for quite a while there I cursed my own situation and the fact that nobody of the opposite gender seemed to find me at all interesting in any respect. These days, however, I'm grateful for it. It took a solo bike tour to come to this realisation, but it was there that I realised what I truly want to do in my life. I also realised that there are very few relationships which will allow me that sort of freedom. Consequently, I am glad I discovered cycling, it has helped me take a more realistic view of my own situation and priorities, and I'm much happier because of it.
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Old 08-09-05, 07:12 AM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by Chris L

You may well outlive your partner and find yourself all alone in the same place without ever having done any of the things you wanted to do.
For some reason reading this put Talking Heads' Once in a Lifetime in my head...

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?
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Old 08-09-05, 07:31 AM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by superdex
For some reason reading this put Talking Heads' Once in a Lifetime in my head...

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?

That's in my iPOD!
".....how did I get here?...."
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Old 08-09-05, 07:37 AM
  #56  
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That is a great song!!!!
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Old 08-09-05, 07:44 AM
  #57  
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kinda fits the thread, eh?

" letting the days go by..."
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Old 08-09-05, 07:52 AM
  #58  
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Chris L has got a good point. And if I'd never taken up cycling, I'm sure it'd be some other hobby (stamp collecting, Egyptology, the obsessive pursuit of Dave Grohl...) that would no doubt alienate my loved one.

Getting married is no guarantee that you'll have someone there w/ you in your golden years. Same w/ having kids--just b/c you have them doesn't mean they'll take care of you when you're old. I guess that's what my retirement plan and long-term care benefits are for.

That Talking Heads song does kind of sum some of it up...

This is the last day of my summer break; meaning it's my last day to mountain bike while my bf is at work so it doesn't interfere w/ our relationship... I'm going to enjoy it!
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Old 08-09-05, 09:20 AM
  #59  
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Originally Posted by eubi
My wife is unable to bike due to a chronic knee injury. SO she keeps fit her way and I keep fit my way.

So it's just me, and she's fine with that.
Similar situation for me. My wife has pretty severe arthritis. So far her legs are OK, so we can hike together, but her hands and wrists could never stand the pressure of even the most well-adjusted bar position. So cycling is out. But she's very supportive of my riding, and never complains about the time or $ I put into it.
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Old 08-09-05, 09:46 AM
  #60  
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Very interesting thread indeed!

Well, let's see ...

I have 4 bicycles ... 2 road bikes, tandem, and a mtn bike.

I have dated my GF for 10yrs (off and on) and HOPE to one day soon be able to get married to her as we are doing our best to work on our differences and problems in a much more adult fashion. Obviously we love each other after being together for 10yrs!! I know ... don't want to hear any lectures from anyone on this. We both know we are CRAZY for dating for 10yrs.

I have been cycling since 1989 and dating my GF since 1995. She expressed an interest in learning to ride for the first time this year. So, I bought her a Schwinn Fastback road bike ... and she likes it okay. She has CONSTANT chaffing and rubbing issues on her upper/inner thighs as well as in the sweet spot ... and still has these issues even with chamois creme and some of the better chamois shorts. And, we have tried 3 saddles thus far too. Besides that however, ... she enjoys rides that are from 15 to 30 miles, but anything more is not as much fun for her. Of course ... as I get in better shape each season ... I really enjoy rides from 40 to 60 miles.

We bought a 05' Cannondale road tandem 2 weeks ago and have done 2 rides so far. We have agreed to leave attitudes and any troubles OFF of the bike ... and so far we are doing well together. We rode 25 miles with the local club last week and did 40 miles with quite a few hills on Sunday. We didn't kill each other ... and actually got along well. Now ... I do seem to work quite a bit harder on the tandem ... she "says" she's pedaling. But ... I wonder sometimes! She is enjoying cycling MUCH more on the tandem. Riding her single ... she was only able to average 12.5 to 14 on any given ride. My normal rides solo (no draft) are 16 to 19 and club (some drafting) are 18 to 21. So, the tandem is the great equalizer!

We have argued while riding ... on our singles a number of times. However, it didn't really have much to do with cycling. She does get a little jealous at times at the amount of time I put in on the bike ... about 150 miles a week or less.

Overall, though, she understands that it is a lifestyle choice and something I hope to do until I leave this earth ... I hope we both enjoy riding together for a long time to come.
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Old 08-09-05, 10:29 AM
  #61  
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Originally Posted by Chris L
Cycling has helped me realise I'm better off alone.
Amen to that!
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Old 08-09-05, 10:48 AM
  #62  
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Yall have relationships with things/people other than bikes? What the heck!
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Old 08-09-05, 12:32 PM
  #63  
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man, someone HAD to bring up that talking heads song, huh? sheesh.

ok, so how many of you are single and happy about it? that is, how many of you "amen i'm single" ppl don't wish you had someone there...you know...for the times you aren't riding? honestly?
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Old 08-09-05, 12:37 PM
  #64  
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ps: as of right now this thread has been viewed 1171 times!

is it just me, or does that speak volumes about the issue of cycling -vs- relationships?
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Old 08-09-05, 01:28 PM
  #65  
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Originally Posted by islenska
I used to be a die-hard skier (tele, btw).
You've obviously strayed from the light. It happens. If it's because you can't find women who can trip the tele light fantastic, then you must act quickly so that you can emerge from the darkness to tele fresh sublime powder once again.

Import a woman who can tele and cycle. It worked for me.
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Old 08-09-05, 01:52 PM
  #66  
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Originally Posted by telenick
You've obviously strayed from the light. It happens. If it's because you can't find women who can trip the tele light fantastic, then you must act quickly so that you can emerge from the darkness to tele fresh sublime powder once again.

Import a woman who can tele and cycle. It worked for me.
heh, believe me, i miss the skiing. i lived in colorado for 4 years and skied constantly.
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Old 08-09-05, 05:10 PM
  #67  
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Originally Posted by Don Gwinn
I've lost about a hundred pounds so far. My marriage was great before, but as I lose weight, it's getting dirtier.
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Old 08-09-05, 05:30 PM
  #68  
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Did anyone read the very latest issue of Dirt Rag? There's an article on the last page by a girl who got into biking through her boyfriend. It's a heartwarming tale, for sure.
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Old 08-09-05, 05:57 PM
  #69  
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Originally Posted by christie133
Did anyone read the very latest issue of Dirt Rag? There's an article on the last page by a girl who got into biking through her boyfriend. It's a heartwarming tale, for sure.
no, didn't read it....what was the story?
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Old 08-09-05, 08:43 PM
  #70  
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Originally Posted by eubi
My wife is unable to bike due to a chronic knee injury. SO she keeps fit her way and I keep fit my way.

So it's just me, and she's fine with that.

She did chew me out (a little) last week when I rode in over 100 degree weather, though.

One of these days, she says I realize I'm not 21 any more. Yeah...THE DAY I DIE!
I'm approaching the same situation reversed. Soon my wife will probably cycle more than I do. I've got a knee that is only going down hill and she's still strong. But I don't see it as a problem really, I'll always ride recreationally at least a little even if it means finding a way to pedal with my hands. As long as I don't just pack it in and give up living a fit lifestyle I know it won't make any difference to her.
I get razzed a little since she can still ride fixed gear and I can't but I think it's funny as hell.
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Old 08-09-05, 08:48 PM
  #71  
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Originally Posted by islenska
no, didn't read it....what was the story?
Girl meets guy who bikes. Girl falls in love, starts biking to be "cool girlfriend," ends up loving biking and becomes huge cyclist. Though she didn't go into major details, I extrapolate that relationship grew even stronger and endured. The illustration was of a guy and girl shaving their legs together. *sigh* How romantic!
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Old 08-09-05, 09:47 PM
  #72  
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Originally Posted by islenska
man, someone HAD to bring up that talking heads song, huh? sheesh.

ok, so how many of you are single and happy about it? that is, how many of you "amen i'm single" ppl don't wish you had someone there...you know...for the times you aren't riding? honestly?
Ok, honestly, I don't really get much time to think about it. I've already done close to 14,000km on the bike this year, and when one factors in the time that other things need (such as work), there isn't really time for much else. Occasionally I think about some of the things I see when I'm out riding (note the pictures in my blog) and think it might be nice to have someone to share those experiences with. However, I'm not about to sacrifice any of those things in the hope that I might get to "be with someone". Believe me, I've tried that in the past, and I've no reason to reconsider it.
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Old 08-09-05, 09:58 PM
  #73  
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It's helped my relationship with my wife AND kids. We have TWO
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Old 08-09-05, 09:59 PM
  #74  
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It's helped my relationship with my wife AND kids. We have TWO tandems, and get out frequently, alone, and with the kids!
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Old 08-09-05, 10:00 PM
  #75  
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Originally Posted by Chris L
Ok, honestly, I don't really get much time to think about it. I've already done close to 14,000km on the bike this year, and when one factors in the time that other things need (such as work), there isn't really time for much else. Occasionally I think about some of the things I see when I'm out riding (note the pictures in my blog) and think it might be nice to have someone to share those experiences with. However, I'm not about to sacrifice any of those things in the hope that I might get to "be with someone". Believe me, I've tried that in the past, and I've no reason to reconsider it.
man....i hear you, seriously.
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