Advise giving advice. (Coaching without getting a divorce)
05-22-24, 12:33 PM
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Slightly off topic, but I live at the bottom of a hill in my neighborhood. My street gets a lots of walking/cycling traffic. The hill is steep enough that if people don't know how to shift their bikes, they'll end up dismounting and walking to the top. Anyway, there's this roadie that goes by frequently. If there's nobody working in their yards or walking on the street he just stays on his saddle and goes on up the hill. But if he has an audience, the dude puts on a display like he's climbing the Alpe d'Huez. He's out of his saddle, swinging back and forth, dancing on the pedals and making all kind of noises! 
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05-22-24, 01:25 PM
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Slightly off topic, but I live at the bottom of a hill in my neighborhood. My street gets a lots of walking/cycling traffic. The hill is steep enough that if people don't know how to shift their bikes, they'll end up dismounting and walking to the top. Anyway, there's this roadie that goes by frequently. If there's nobody working in their yards or walking on the street he just stays on his saddle and goes on up the hill. But if he has an audience, the dude puts on a display like he's climbing the Alpe d'Huez. He's out of his saddle, swinging back and forth, dancing on the pedals and making all kind of noises!
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05-22-24, 01:37 PM
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05-22-24, 01:44 PM
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05-22-24, 04:02 PM
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It’s usually a bad idea to give unsolicited advice to anyone—including a spouse.
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05-22-24, 04:25 PM
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In my experience, there is a certain resistance and hostility toward “mansplaining”. I used to be an offender but have learned to keep my advice to myself and let her experience be her teacher. My wife too was far slower on climbs and it would frustrate the hell out of her, thinking that I was ‘showing off’ when it was really a difference in our abilities. The ultimate solution back then was buying a tandem. She never felt frustrated on hills again, but it certainly made me work one helluva lot harder on climbs. The tandem was long sold and now she has an e-bike and can whip my @$$ on every hill no problem. So there are other solutions without jeopardizing your marriage.
She also knew to gear down for climbs - and that wasn’t enough. Another thought is to ride next to her before the hill and without saying anything, start gearing down so she can see you doing it, but don’t explain it.
She also knew to gear down for climbs - and that wasn’t enough. Another thought is to ride next to her before the hill and without saying anything, start gearing down so she can see you doing it, but don’t explain it.
for sure……I see your well seasoned as well lol.
05-22-24, 04:27 PM
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I get dropped by everyone/anyone on hills. Let her lead. Shift to your lowest gear before the hill. Go up the hill as slow as you can and let a gap form. Time it so that when she gets to the top of the hill walking/whatever is when you arrive also. She'll see you spinning along slowly and might decide to try it also, or not. If you're just climbing a hill back into your subdivision, why do you need to wait for her anyway? Don't you think she can make it back on her own? My wife would be angry in that situation as would I. If someone attacks a hill like they're in the TDF in front of me(and waits for me with a smirk on their face) I'll make sure I climb that hill as slowly as possible. They can go on ahead and I'll catch them on the next flat. Both my wife and I are runners. If we go out on a run together, we'll hang for about a mile then go our seperate ways. We have our own routes. If the run has some distance, we'll pass each other a few times in the neighborhood giving a wave as we go by. Eventually, we'll end up back at the house. Your wife doesn't need an escort for the last part of the ride as much as you think she does.
05-22-24, 04:36 PM
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r.e. bike issue -- ELECTRIFY HER RIDE and she might beat you to the top and electrify life itself.
r.e. walking issue -- Look into Danny Dreyer's *Chi Walking* and maybe your pace will increase.
05-22-24, 04:47 PM
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Funny, my wife's Grandfather on mom's side was a strong German Dr. ruling the house and has no bearing on her disposition.
r.e. bike issue -- ELECTRIFY HER RIDE and she might beat you to the top and electrify life itself.
r.e. walking issue -- Look into Danny Dreyer's *Chi Walking* and maybe your pace will increase.
r.e. bike issue -- ELECTRIFY HER RIDE and she might beat you to the top and electrify life itself.
r.e. walking issue -- Look into Danny Dreyer's *Chi Walking* and maybe your pace will increase.
05-22-24, 04:52 PM
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05-22-24, 05:00 PM
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^^^^ moral of my reply ^^^^^ Go take a Viking River Cruise !!!! p.s. -- They have great pricing specials right now. p.p.s. -- Friend and wife are cruising in July again.
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05-22-24, 05:02 PM
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05-22-24, 05:16 PM
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Title fixed
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05-22-24, 05:44 PM
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OK, before your next ride up the hill, you need to do some preparation when your wife isn't looking. Modify her bicycle so that it runs in the gear that you think she needs to be in.
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05-22-24, 06:34 PM
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***title was supposed to be coaching without getting a divorce ***
While I can’t scream the Jerry McGuire line “Help me help you!” I sometimes want to, but I’m sure that would be ill advised.
A Little background, both myself and my wife are just on either side of 60 and in great health. We just got into cycling really in the last 5 years. She walks miles every day and when I walk with her I struggle keeping up with her pace. We live in the driftless part of the Midwest and recently moved and now have a steep climb back into our subdivision.
the challenge I have, is the hills, while I’m probably not the best climber, I very frequently have to stop at the top and wait for her as she gets off her bike and pushes her bike to the top of the hill…….. then I notice she has 3-4 gears left when she arrives, and she is panting. I have tried to explain the gear thing, but I’m thinking she’s not listening because it’s me.
I’ve got a background in sale/business training and coaching and some of the best experience I have is being married to this wife of mine for 33 years, so I know when to shut up. I’m confident it would be easier on her to pedal to the top, but can’t convince her to shift.
***While I can’t scream the Jerry McGuire line “Help me help you!” I sometimes want to, but I’m sure that would be ill advised.
A Little background, both myself and my wife are just on either side of 60 and in great health. We just got into cycling really in the last 5 years. She walks miles every day and when I walk with her I struggle keeping up with her pace. We live in the driftless part of the Midwest and recently moved and now have a steep climb back into our subdivision.
the challenge I have, is the hills, while I’m probably not the best climber, I very frequently have to stop at the top and wait for her as she gets off her bike and pushes her bike to the top of the hill…….. then I notice she has 3-4 gears left when she arrives, and she is panting. I have tried to explain the gear thing, but I’m thinking she’s not listening because it’s me.
I’ve got a background in sale/business training and coaching and some of the best experience I have is being married to this wife of mine for 33 years, so I know when to shut up. I’m confident it would be easier on her to pedal to the top, but can’t convince her to shift.
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05-22-24, 07:08 PM
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My general rule of thumb, for cycling and everything else, is that I never give adults advice unless they ask for it. That applies to my wife, and is especially difficult for me with my adult children. I see them making what appear to me to be bad decisions, but I hold my tongue and say to myself "They are adults and can make their own decisions." Which gear to ride in seems like a fairly unimportant decision, so it would be easy for me to stay quiet on that one.
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05-22-24, 08:47 PM
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05-22-24, 08:50 PM
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My general rule of thumb, for cycling and everything else, is that I never give adults advice unless they ask for it. That applies to my wife, and is especially difficult for me with my adult children. I see them making what appear to me to be bad decisions, but I hold my tongue and say to myself "They are adults and can make their own decisions." Which gear to ride in seems like a fairly unimportant decision, so it would be easy for me to stay quiet on that one.
When the kids were young, I would help them see there were a few different choices and the positive and negatives to each. Then I would tell them, ‘You decide’. When they f’d up anyway, I never said a thing.
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05-23-24, 03:43 AM
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05-23-24, 04:37 AM
#49
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This is the correct answer. If the time comes that she wants to know how to get up a hill, she will ask and even then don't go into solution mode. Be gentle, be patient and be glad you have someone to share the riding with.
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05-23-24, 05:02 AM
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My wife is the same
Especially about shifting.
She also won’t listen about seat height. (To get torque)
She grew up not riding bikes as much as I did, she preferred a scooter. (remember those ones with the pneumatic knobby tires?)
I’m very patient and friendly about it, then she says the higher gear is easier for her, then says I’m controlling.
If it comes from someone else that she likes or respects, she will start doing it immediately. It’s very frustrating.
Her daughter (18) is the same way; has to learn everything the hard way.
I wound up going through a couple eBikes (my initiative) and found one that seems to work.
I posted a similar question and got some similar responses blaming me, which was also frustrating.
She also won’t listen about seat height. (To get torque)
She grew up not riding bikes as much as I did, she preferred a scooter. (remember those ones with the pneumatic knobby tires?)
I’m very patient and friendly about it, then she says the higher gear is easier for her, then says I’m controlling.
If it comes from someone else that she likes or respects, she will start doing it immediately. It’s very frustrating.
Her daughter (18) is the same way; has to learn everything the hard way.
I wound up going through a couple eBikes (my initiative) and found one that seems to work.
I posted a similar question and got some similar responses blaming me, which was also frustrating.