Joe Gardner

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Cambronne

You have no idea how true this is. Those phrases may look clever, droll, cute...

... but not too very long ago, I anguished over things like those. I still trip over phrases that make me say "comment?"

See, I "learned" english as a foreign language in school in the 1960s... but as a teen, I had other things on my mind. (Les filles, bien sūr!)

I re-learned it (that is, actually paid attention, as my job depended upon it) in 1991, and it wasn't until 1994 that anglophones had any idea what I was saying.

Even now, I sit before this workstation, with a Larousse french-english dictionary, a Webster's english dictionary, and a bilingual thesaurus all by my side... en cas d'urgence.

gnein

i'm sorry but i'll have to disagree, i live in the only bilingual province in canada...and for one thing, most french people can communicate in english (with an accent, but they can speak it) but anglophones can rarely speak french, and when they are able to speak french, they`ll have a huge accent.


and one more thing, when it comes to writting it, french is like infinitly more complicated!


anyway....that`s al i have to say....and it`s just my opinion......



gnein

Cambronne

Gnein... (I really enjoy saying your screen name...)

It could be that the anglophones just don't try.
After all...

What does one call someone who speaks three languages?
A polyglot.

Someone who speaks two languages?
A Bilingual.

Just one language?
An American! (Yes, I know. Canada is a whole 'nuther country. But that's the punch line, and I'm not changing it.)

No offence intended. When one lives in a country that stretches as far as London - Istanbul, with the same laws, customs, and language... one can dispense with having to learn all of one's neighbors' tongues.

I had little difficulty sorting out english grammar... it is, along with the orthography, easier than french. 37% of our primary shool students fail orthography. It was the subtler qualities of the english language that tripped me... you know, the difference between "textbook" and "street." Watch an episode of Married with Children, or Northern Exposure... both of which were popular as I was learning the language... and ask yourself whether I had any idea what most of those shows' dialogs were about.

I've since learned spanish and some italian, and there too, one sees the difference between official usage and the way they are actually spoken. (Like NEVER using the verb "colgar" in Mexico, as it is a not very nice euphamism for the sex act... even though it is a very banal "pick up, hook up, grab..." such as one would use, say, in describing the answering of a telephone... in Spain.)

My own native tongue is no different... but it took being exposed to all those other languages to realize it.

BTW... Quebecois speak french with a VERY peculiar accent. It sounds to my ears much like what Australian english must sound to yours.

gnein

i can not stand the way quebecois speak.......i live in new-brunswick....my french is not better(btw i am french not english), but i hate their accent.....plus they will say that their french is so much better than mine when there isn't that much a difference.....

comparing an acadian to a quebecois is like comparing a irishman to a scottsman(i think those are the two.....)

gnein




i like saying gnein too...that is why i use it as my nick


gnein

LittleBigMan

I'm sorry to have to disagree, but here in America, there are many dialects of Americanese that those of us in other parts of our land have trouble deciphering. In some places, I find that local folks take some delight in trying to be as hard to understand to visitors as possible. Maybe this is the principle behind the evolution of so many different languages. Interesting concept, that the history of languages may have been governed as much by a desire to be misunderstood as to be understood.

I suppose if it were Thailand, instead of language barriers, we would be faced with whether to swallow snakes live or cooked.

LightBoy

I don't know about you guys, but I'm still trying to figure out why we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway...

Buddy Hayden

Hey Pete , what are some of the least known southern USA "phrases",that we foreigners may not know..y'all tell us now ya hear...Huhh'kay..(Mr.Mackie)....

AlphaGeek

Ow-wee = That hurts. (As in lady delivering baby!)

Mash the button = Push the button. (As in "mash 3" for the 3rd floor on the elevator.

Trekn

I believe that english is the hardest language to learn 100%. We have so many slangs and double meanings as was stated above. As for Canada, I'm from Canada and the reason english do not speak french is because we have no need to. Most french Canadians are useless anyways. French Canadians want nothing to do with us why should we bother to speak their backwards language?

LittleBigMan

I would suggest Dale Carnegie's best seller, "How To Win Friends and Influence People."

Trekn

I'm sorry If I seem so harsh. I've had some bad experiences with French speaking people in Montreal. They were the most rude people I've every spoke with. Well obviously French Canadians and English always have their differences. I'm just saying that the French would prefer not to even be a part of Canada, why should we make an effort?

aerobat

French Canadians are like everyone else, some good some bad, most just trying to get along and live their own lives.

In Winnipeg here, and Manitoba as a whole, we have as many French Canadians outside of Quebec as anywhere, and everyone gets along great.

fubar5

The english language sucks. For every rule there is an exception, and for every exception there is and exception and on,and on and on.

aerobat

Either that or it's for every exception there's a rule!

fubar5

That too, I just wanted to leave some rants for you guys

Cambronne

Trekn, French Canadians are PROUD of who they are, and they make a supreme effort to preserve their language and culture despite your opinion regarding what the point of that may be... That they want to separate from Canada is, IMHO, a dire mistake, one whose seed was planted decades ago by our very own De Gaulle, who was, I believe, merely trying to raise a bit of pride.

I cannot express to you how strange their pronounciation sounds to me, tho.... Rather the way Austrailans sound to you. And what is it with the flannel? Fashion suicide, bien evident.

Two comments:

One, sorry, but you're wrong. English was easy to learn. The trick is, to learn it as an adult. Trying to learn it as a child in your school system is futile.

Two, before you denigrate an entire culture or population, you should ask yourself whether you are truly "superior" enough to pass judgement. In your profile, you locate yourself in Michigan. I'm afraid that isn't "superior" enough. Je vais rire, mon pauvre petit!

On est encore des amis?

LittleBigMan

Maybe I should post this as a "rant." But "when the spirit hits you," sometimes you've got to let it fly where you stand.

In America, historically, we have been schizophrenic. We have high ideals, great notions. We even fight wars over them and attempt to teach entire nations how to live by them. "Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and everyone created equal."
But do we live by them?

While proudly asserting our newfound freedom from British rule,
we denied that freedom to people within our borders we deemed "unequal" to us. We justified this not on the basis of our idyllic notions that "all [people] are created equal," but on the assumption that "all races are not people."

Through much bloodshed and personal sacrifice and suffering, we are now starting to become the nation that our forefathers imagined: a country in which people from all around the world can live together and appreciate each others' differences. I do not suggest a "melting pot," as some have in the past, but rather a community in which individuals from different cultural backgrounds can live in peace and even become understanding friends. I suggest a nation in which we remain individuals, unique, yet working alongside each other to promote the welfare of all. How else will we demonstrate to the world that people can live together in peace?

This is the future of America. I believe it. To believe otherwise is to throw away the real purpose for which America exists. To believe otherwise is to give up on mankind.

Ranger Jake

Servus!

I must disagree that English is a difficult language to learn. Impossible to master, yes, but fairly easy to learn. Try learning German, a language that concerns itself with the gender of the table and then you modify the verb around that gender. There is no future tense in German, you have to...aw hell, I can't explain it well enough for everyone to grasp as I still don't understand it!

Also dann, bis spater!

Cambronne

Re: German.

Any language that gives us an automotive publication titled:

"Gute Fahrt"

is okay with me!

BTW, Gute Fahrt is a VW/Audi enthusiast's magazine. If there was any real poetry to reality, the magazine's editorial page would be called "Fahrtin' Around."

toolfreak

It looks like i`m not the only one having difficulties with some English expressions.
But it doesn`t matter does it? , the link between all of us is biking

LittleBigMan

This is the key to learning English. It is the only language I speak and yet I actually know very little about it.

There must have been a time when English had fewer rules. It is my feeling that some highly educated folks got together later on and began to establish some rules after the fact. Otherwise there wouldn't be so many exceptions to the rules.

It's like trying to play two or three sports at the same time and trying to establish some rules at midgame. But that may be true with all languages, as far as I know, since I don't know any others besides my own (and as I said, I don't really know it.)

aerobat

Pete, what a reasoned and well thought out rant!

You are a credit to your countrymen!

:thumbup:

LaurAnonymous

learning any language is ridiculously difficult. it frustrates me when i hear americans bemoan the fact that an immigrant "dared" move to their country without first learning the language completely, fluently and without accent.

however, when one of their children takes the time to learn to count to ten in spanish from sesame street, you would've thought there was a second coming and "well, aren't they the smartest kid you've ever seen?"

well, no.

Trekn

Well I do feel badly for what I said. I didn't really mean what I had said about them being useless. French sure do make some nice women.. WOW... As far as English Canadians learning french, it is not something that is important to us. All major business is done with Japanese anyways. Maybe more of us should learn Japanese. I would guess that to be the most difficult.