iamlucky13

Dang it, Siu stole my joke.

I'm personally a fan of the Javellin. Soft launch motor so it doesn't knock you off your bike, infrared guidance, and best of all, it's fire and forget. When you hear that growling tone in the earpiece, just click the trigger then get back to tearing it up on the trail. And at only 50 pounds for the whole launcher and one tube, it's no worse than an overnighter pack.



Banzai, if you're looking for high off-boresite capabilities, perhaps you should consider General Dynamics range of Vulcan cannons. I think you'll find the Mk 15 Phalanx CIWS (affectionately known as R2-D2) of particular interest, with true 360 degree engagement out to 2,000 yards, multi-target auto-tracking, and computer or manual engagement modes. Your choice of depleted uranium or tungsten penetrators or combined effects munitions. Although the weight penalty and angular momentum of 6 barrels spinning at 1000 RPM might affect the handling of your bike a little bit, I'm sure you'll agree that the ability to put 5 kg of bullets into your target in a single second is well worth the investment.

Banzai

Python IV was the scariest, most unstoppable monster I could think of...still is, by the by. Python IV kicks my butt. Therefore, I want one, with a Helmet Mounted Cueing System. HA! Just try to countermeasure, or right hook my skinny little wingman, beeatch!

Seriously, I just saw that the "anyone carry a gun" thread bumped to the top...again. So, I felt compelled to write something else here, even if it is gratuitous and stupid.

LandLuger

I've been looking at several models. They are light as folders go, but they all seem too cheaply constructed. Why is it so hard to find something with quick release wheels and a eight speed freehub for less than $300 new? Wait a minute; this is the folders forum, right?

DannoXYZ 

Hey, that's not too far off. One of my friend's dad used to carry a bazooka around in the passenger seat of his Ferrari. Really odd-ball character and they eventually locked him up in an asylum...

Eggplant Jeff

C'mon people, THINK!

You keep having problems with the massive weight or kickback crushing or unbalancing your bike?

That's what trailers are for!

Polonswim

Everyone does realize that the government will pick this thread up with their "anti-terrorist" software and we will all be under observation, our phone calls will be screened, along with those of our friends; right?

diff_lock2

Why would the gov care?

Lol just a list of anti tank weapons... and straping them on to your bike...

Any one seen a discovey chanle show called "Future Weapons" ????

BOMB BOMB BOMB
EXPLODE EXPLODE
DETONATOR
EURO

derath

Bazooka gum?

Yea the stuff is great. And those little cartoons are a nice diversion when I stop for a rest.

-D

Kabloink

I am sort of old school. I attached a gatling gun to my handlebars.

jur

I'm looking for a titanium one. With a brushed-with-death finish. There's this maltese poodle on my commute that I'd like to give a bit of a scare and i don't want to lug one of those 50# suckers in my Topeak bag.

same time

Anyone else get a GLORIOUS bazooka shot off in the Denver area today?

Banzai

Here we go. The "anyone carry a gun" thread just got bumped again!

How about this idea? Instead of a bright headlamp on your handlebars, mount a laser! Obviously, at that size you wouldn't be able to equip a directed energy weapon that's actually thermally destructive...but, maybe you could get something around 1.06 micron or less...you know, in a good range to blind. Just put a massive battery on your rear rack, which may give you 3 seconds of firing, aim carefully...take that sucka! That'll teach you to cut me off!

And this has utility beyond irritating motorists. See a wrong way cyclist trying to force you into traffic? ZAP! How you like me now? Oh, do your retinas burn? I'm sorry...now get on the right side of the road, if you can see to, that is!

In a race? Mount a laser facing front and back. (Ignore the logical discontinuity of "maybe you'd win the race without a 50 lb battery!") When the guy in front checks six...ZAP! Someone about to pass you? ZAP! Oh, I'm sorry...I guess it will be hard to finish, if you can't see the finish line!

Nachoman

I use the bazooka on my mountain bike. On my road bike I stick with titanium grenades, that fit securely in my jersey pockets.

jhota

yeah, i was thinking about this; would you be able to install a power-take-off on the drivetrain so your pedaling would rotate the barrels? it just seems like cranking and steering at the same time might be difficult.

Bikepacker67

I think that indirect fire might be better for clearing the road ahead...

Eggplant Jeff

Uhh, too late?
https://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/05/...onerecords.ap/

flyingscotsman

Just a small amount of semtex in the saddle, with a a radio transmitter.


That way when anyone steals the bike I just have to replace the saddle.


simple really.

gawnfishin

What do you think? I live and ride in the New Orleans area. My LBS mounted it for free if I bought it when I bought my bike. I am considering a 50 cal gatlin instead. The ammo is cheaper and I think I can get FEMA to pay for it.

Nermal

For multipurpose convenience, the old reliable bazooka beats the rest, hands down. Whatcha want to do here, is cross drill the tube immediately ahead of the projectile. Now, slip a bolt through the hole, set it off, and hang on. Brother, you are going to climb that hill!

Edit to Add: It's considered fair play to disable the warhead before attempting this manouver.

huhenio

What about a remote controlled dirigible hovering over your location, armed with stinger missiles?

That would be worth the helmet HUD aim thingy. No extra weight for ammo

aikigreg

If you want lightweight but deadly, do what I did: I mounted one of those wand lighters at an angle on the seat tube. Rigged up a remote trigger to the drop bars. Now all I have to do is stand in the saddle, let 'er rip and push the button. Voila! Instant retaliation.

Eggplant Jeff

For days when I really need the extra firepower, I prefer to ride my M1 Abrams (converted to pedal power of course). The gearing had to be pretty low in order for my legs to move it, so it takes me about 16 hours to get to work, but you can't beat the firepower and SUV resistance.

MichaelW

The Swiss Army bicycle came with a trailer attached anti-tank launcher. Really, it did.

Eggplant Jeff

OK now I'm just too much of a geek to let this go. I have to do the math.

I couldn't find the exact torque curves for the Abrams engine, but it's a turbine, the AGT-1500 and produces 1500 horsepower. The max shaft RPM is 3500 RPM, so assuming it's making 1500 hp at that RPM (which it's probably not, usually horsepower peaks somewhere below max RPM), that means it's putting out about 1000 ft-lbs of torque at that speed.

However that's maximum full throttle, so lets say 1/10th of that will be enough to move it around at 1/10th of full speed (4.5 mph) (probably not truly a linear conversion, but what the heck). That's the power going into the transmission, and unfortunately I can't find any specs on the gear ratios involved. So let's say I just do my pedal conversion before the transmission (probably want to anyway, that way I can run it in reverse too).

OK so 1000 ft-lbs @ 350 RPM = 4.5 mph.

Let's say I'm capable of 100 RPM standing on the pedals. The cranks are 170mm, which is 0.56 ft. I weigh 200 lbs, which means standing on the pedals I'm producing about 111 ft-lbs of torque. OK well if I need 1000 ft-lbs to move the tank, then I'll need a 9:1 gear reduction. That means I'll use a 24-tooth MTB chainring with a 216-tooth cog (Hmm, might need a longer chain too). Unfortunately that 9:1 reduction means I'm only turning the transmission input shaft at 11 RPM. If 350 RPM was 4.5 miles an hour, that means I'm capable of moving the tank at 0.14 miles per hour.

So I was a little optimistic, it would really take me more like 32 hours to get to work (my commute's 4.5 miles one way).

bentstrider

Screw the bazooka.
I carry EMP(Electro-Magnetic Pulse) grenades and an extendable police baton!!
Watch the jackass in his cage coming rolling to a stop and the interior smelling like burnt rubber bands.
He'll be sorry he ever chucked that Mocha out the window at me.
It just cost him $50,004.50!!