Urban Assault Race -- what a blast!
07-30-06, 11:01 PM
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staring at the mountains
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Urban Assault Race -- what a blast!
Well, today was the Denver edition of the Subaru Urban Assault race (https://www.urbanassaultrace.com/), and I joined up with NewGirl(ish) to tackle the best Subaru, Chipotle, and New Belgium could throw at us.
Background/lead up: I'd heard of the race, but hadn't done it. NewGirl(ish) asks me on Monday if I want to do the race with her. Sure! --We spent the next three days wrestling over team names. We settled on "Urban Assault This." "Towel Girl and Lotion Boy" was a close 2nd choice. We sign up on Friday (the last day to do so), and collectively spend about 4 hours working on the online quiz good for bonus time at the start. We get 15/20 (crap!) but still good enough to be in the first wave at 9am. Saturday eve we spend about 45 minutes looking over our map and visualizing a route, and we hatched a skeleton of a strategy. Cool.
This morning I meet her at her place to ride to the start (about 3.5 miles away). I got exactly three lights from my house before freaking thinking I might have packed my regular road shoes (Look pedals), when I'd gone and changed over to my mtn spds in order to ride with my road bike with "walkable" mtn shoes. Yes, I did a little Chinese Firedrill and scrambled for the trunk at a red light, just to make sure I packed the right shoes. Phew! I did. We arrive, and immediately both of us go into that nervous quiet that is somewhere between mental double checks and scanning the crowd for possible rivals. I peed twice. We're in the first wave, and line up in a good spot. It's a Le Mans start: we ran to the bikes to get under way.
We leave the parking lot, and quite a few folks head thataway, including two guys on mtn bikes that left rubber on the pavement. Man they were moving. We went thisaway, heading to our chosen first stop, Chipotle at 32nd and Lowell. Up hill to start. Fun. We get there well ahead of everyone else. The challege here was to match puzzle pieces to the picture. At each stop is the option to sit in timeout for 10 minutes instead. We get about three minutes into the puzzle, and I quip to take the time penalty. NewGirl(ish) shrugs me off. Another few minutes go by before she relents and we take the time penalty. By now the place has a few teams, including another co-ed team who, upon hearing us take the time penalty, did the same thing. Smart move on their part. So they left Chipotottally about 30 seconds behind us. The next time we saw them was about 15 minutes after we finished
If there was a mistake today, not taking the time penalty immediately was it.
Geographically, REI was the next closest stop, but we blew by it and the other close stop at the Denver Athletic Club, planning to hit those on the way back to the start. We boogied to Handlebar Grill, where I had to be blindfolded and then carry NewGirl(ish) through a weaving course. Knock a cone over, start again. We flew through it. A) I didn't question her directions, and B) I had enough of a pinhole in my right goggle that I could make out enough color to assist just enough. We get through the course and the marshals are applauding and say something about a record time. Yeah sure, okay. By the way, pulling most of the way to Handlebar and then throwing the young lady on my back was GREAT for the legs. No, really. You should try it sometime. The two mtn bikers outta hell passed us going the other way, easily in the mid-20's --on mtn bikes.
From Handlebar we went to Secret Clue Location #1 --The Eugene Field House at Washington Park, and I Phoned a Friend and set her on her way looking up the answer. We stood around a little too long (as were a lot of people), when we both looked at each other, "Let's get moving." So off to Campus Cycles we went. En route to Campus I got the text message with the Secret Location #2. It's near the Denver Athletic Club. Cool, we're not backtracking.
Part of the rules of these races is that there are designated streets that are off limits. You get caught on one of those streets, you're DQ'd. Also, if you get a ticket, you're DQ'd. For Denver, those streets were Colfax, Speer, I25, Lincoln, Broadway. The caveat being if there are bike lanes, they're permissible. We rode down University and then Evans to get to Campus Cycles, not something I'd do in any other situation. Wearing a bib changes things a little, I guess.
At Campus Cycles we had to three-legged race around the block. We get the burlap sack on, walk a few paces, find a rhythm, and jog the entire thing, not falling once. Double Sweet.
Then we made probably the only other mistake: we rode to the Platte River Trail to get back to REI instead of going back on surface streets. And we got lost for a minute or two trying to get on the trail. Ugh.
At REI, NewGirl(ish) wisely evaluates the task, and calls for the time penalty. The task was to hunt around the REI grounds looking for letters and then descrambling the result. Once the clock started ticking, I breathe a small breath of recovery, and reach for my water bottle. I'm getting ready to settle into nibbling on something and taking on some water when NewGirl(ish), chatting with another couple, helps them solve the word scramble. We get checked off and move on, having spent all of maybe three minutes there total. (I suppose that's not legal, but oh well).
We raced up 15th to the Performing Arts Center to Secret Location #2 --the two giant dancers that face Speer. That clue was easy, so easy I blurt out the location while another team is standing there. Oops. (and yes, NewGirl(ish) pointed that out once we were back underway). We'll head to Location #3 after the Athletic Club.
Okay, so we've been on the bike for an hour and a half, and the spedometers didn't drop under 20 if we couldn't help it. We were sharing pulls, but still, my legs were starting to get a little heavy --I wasn't eating enough. I'd been going through the water bottles, though.
We get to the Athletic Club, and just to get to the stunt we have to climb three? four? flights of stairs. Then we're presented with bouncy balls and big wheels. For the bouncy ball portion, bounce on the ball around the track they'd set up -- basically around a basketball court. I didn't think my legs would complain, but yeah, they did. It didn't help that I'm not a small guy, so finding a rhythm and technique that kept forward momentum without totally squashing the ball was tricky. Then we get into --yes, into-- a big wheel and pedal through a little race course. NewGirl(ish) was ahead of me the entire time here, but that's okay. The worst part about the big wheel was navigating the two little kids on course at the same time. I think I actually gave one of the kid's rides a little push so I could squeeze by.
I actually have a chance to take a couple large swigs of water while NewGirl(ish) put her shoes back on (mine were velcro). She suggests going to the Cherry Creek bikepath to get to the Skatepark (Secret Location #3, and our last stop); still having some wits about me, I say no, let's go through downtown to 20, down 20th to the skatepark and then back to the start/finish. I was a little eager to run lights through downtown, and NewGirl(ish) kept reigning me in, pointing out the cop cars and --oops-- other traffic. Yeah, we rode on 20th. Again, something about having a race bib.
We stop long enough at the Skatepark to get our marker and leave the marshall talking as we rode away.
We get back to the Start/Finish (Mile High Station, under Colfax next to Invesco), and we see that there is another co-ed team finishing the final obstacle course ahead of us. ARGH@!! We fly through the obstacle course: a trike/scooter thing through yet another race course, a foam --er soap-- pit where we had to find little rubber duckies, and an inflatable net wall with a slip-n-slide down the back to the finish. The slip-n-slide was a nice reward in the heat.
We were the second co-ed team, one fricken minute behind the co-ed team we saw finishing when we arrived. DERNIT!!! ARGGGGH!!!! Our time: 2:06:somethingerother.
The mtn bikers from hell were 2nd overall (and easily the first men's team) at 1:40-something. Apparently at least one of the guys is a pro mtn biker. But the winners of the whole thing? Two women. One a former pro rider, and a current Cat 3 rider. --And apparently the first time in any of the Urban Assault Races a women's team won it all. Pretty cool if you ask me. And the Co-ed team that beat us? [Owen Wilson voice] They're from L.A. Yeah, did three other Urban Assault Races this year. They flew out just for this.[end Owen Wilson voice]
So we came in fourth overall, and second in the Co-Ed division. Considering the caliber of racers who finished ahead of us, I feel like it was a great day. NewGirl(ish) took a little while longer to release her competitive juices and get over that we hadn't won, but once she came down, she was ecstatic too. We enjoyed our free (Chipototalltittle) burritos, and free Fat Tire beer.
Then we climbed the rope wall for the slip-n-slide a few more times before heading home.
Background/lead up: I'd heard of the race, but hadn't done it. NewGirl(ish) asks me on Monday if I want to do the race with her. Sure! --We spent the next three days wrestling over team names. We settled on "Urban Assault This." "Towel Girl and Lotion Boy" was a close 2nd choice. We sign up on Friday (the last day to do so), and collectively spend about 4 hours working on the online quiz good for bonus time at the start. We get 15/20 (crap!) but still good enough to be in the first wave at 9am. Saturday eve we spend about 45 minutes looking over our map and visualizing a route, and we hatched a skeleton of a strategy. Cool.
This morning I meet her at her place to ride to the start (about 3.5 miles away). I got exactly three lights from my house before freaking thinking I might have packed my regular road shoes (Look pedals), when I'd gone and changed over to my mtn spds in order to ride with my road bike with "walkable" mtn shoes. Yes, I did a little Chinese Firedrill and scrambled for the trunk at a red light, just to make sure I packed the right shoes. Phew! I did. We arrive, and immediately both of us go into that nervous quiet that is somewhere between mental double checks and scanning the crowd for possible rivals. I peed twice. We're in the first wave, and line up in a good spot. It's a Le Mans start: we ran to the bikes to get under way.
We leave the parking lot, and quite a few folks head thataway, including two guys on mtn bikes that left rubber on the pavement. Man they were moving. We went thisaway, heading to our chosen first stop, Chipotle at 32nd and Lowell. Up hill to start. Fun. We get there well ahead of everyone else. The challege here was to match puzzle pieces to the picture. At each stop is the option to sit in timeout for 10 minutes instead. We get about three minutes into the puzzle, and I quip to take the time penalty. NewGirl(ish) shrugs me off. Another few minutes go by before she relents and we take the time penalty. By now the place has a few teams, including another co-ed team who, upon hearing us take the time penalty, did the same thing. Smart move on their part. So they left Chipotottally about 30 seconds behind us. The next time we saw them was about 15 minutes after we finished
If there was a mistake today, not taking the time penalty immediately was it.Geographically, REI was the next closest stop, but we blew by it and the other close stop at the Denver Athletic Club, planning to hit those on the way back to the start. We boogied to Handlebar Grill, where I had to be blindfolded and then carry NewGirl(ish) through a weaving course. Knock a cone over, start again. We flew through it. A) I didn't question her directions, and B) I had enough of a pinhole in my right goggle that I could make out enough color to assist just enough. We get through the course and the marshals are applauding and say something about a record time. Yeah sure, okay. By the way, pulling most of the way to Handlebar and then throwing the young lady on my back was GREAT for the legs. No, really. You should try it sometime. The two mtn bikers outta hell passed us going the other way, easily in the mid-20's --on mtn bikes.
From Handlebar we went to Secret Clue Location #1 --The Eugene Field House at Washington Park, and I Phoned a Friend and set her on her way looking up the answer. We stood around a little too long (as were a lot of people), when we both looked at each other, "Let's get moving." So off to Campus Cycles we went. En route to Campus I got the text message with the Secret Location #2. It's near the Denver Athletic Club. Cool, we're not backtracking.
Part of the rules of these races is that there are designated streets that are off limits. You get caught on one of those streets, you're DQ'd. Also, if you get a ticket, you're DQ'd. For Denver, those streets were Colfax, Speer, I25, Lincoln, Broadway. The caveat being if there are bike lanes, they're permissible. We rode down University and then Evans to get to Campus Cycles, not something I'd do in any other situation. Wearing a bib changes things a little, I guess.
At Campus Cycles we had to three-legged race around the block. We get the burlap sack on, walk a few paces, find a rhythm, and jog the entire thing, not falling once. Double Sweet.
Then we made probably the only other mistake: we rode to the Platte River Trail to get back to REI instead of going back on surface streets. And we got lost for a minute or two trying to get on the trail. Ugh.
At REI, NewGirl(ish) wisely evaluates the task, and calls for the time penalty. The task was to hunt around the REI grounds looking for letters and then descrambling the result. Once the clock started ticking, I breathe a small breath of recovery, and reach for my water bottle. I'm getting ready to settle into nibbling on something and taking on some water when NewGirl(ish), chatting with another couple, helps them solve the word scramble. We get checked off and move on, having spent all of maybe three minutes there total. (I suppose that's not legal, but oh well).
We raced up 15th to the Performing Arts Center to Secret Location #2 --the two giant dancers that face Speer. That clue was easy, so easy I blurt out the location while another team is standing there. Oops. (and yes, NewGirl(ish) pointed that out once we were back underway). We'll head to Location #3 after the Athletic Club.
Okay, so we've been on the bike for an hour and a half, and the spedometers didn't drop under 20 if we couldn't help it. We were sharing pulls, but still, my legs were starting to get a little heavy --I wasn't eating enough. I'd been going through the water bottles, though.
We get to the Athletic Club, and just to get to the stunt we have to climb three? four? flights of stairs. Then we're presented with bouncy balls and big wheels. For the bouncy ball portion, bounce on the ball around the track they'd set up -- basically around a basketball court. I didn't think my legs would complain, but yeah, they did. It didn't help that I'm not a small guy, so finding a rhythm and technique that kept forward momentum without totally squashing the ball was tricky. Then we get into --yes, into-- a big wheel and pedal through a little race course. NewGirl(ish) was ahead of me the entire time here, but that's okay. The worst part about the big wheel was navigating the two little kids on course at the same time. I think I actually gave one of the kid's rides a little push so I could squeeze by.
I actually have a chance to take a couple large swigs of water while NewGirl(ish) put her shoes back on (mine were velcro). She suggests going to the Cherry Creek bikepath to get to the Skatepark (Secret Location #3, and our last stop); still having some wits about me, I say no, let's go through downtown to 20, down 20th to the skatepark and then back to the start/finish. I was a little eager to run lights through downtown, and NewGirl(ish) kept reigning me in, pointing out the cop cars and --oops-- other traffic. Yeah, we rode on 20th. Again, something about having a race bib.
We stop long enough at the Skatepark to get our marker and leave the marshall talking as we rode away.
We get back to the Start/Finish (Mile High Station, under Colfax next to Invesco), and we see that there is another co-ed team finishing the final obstacle course ahead of us. ARGH@!! We fly through the obstacle course: a trike/scooter thing through yet another race course, a foam --er soap-- pit where we had to find little rubber duckies, and an inflatable net wall with a slip-n-slide down the back to the finish. The slip-n-slide was a nice reward in the heat.
We were the second co-ed team, one fricken minute behind the co-ed team we saw finishing when we arrived. DERNIT!!! ARGGGGH!!!! Our time: 2:06:somethingerother.
The mtn bikers from hell were 2nd overall (and easily the first men's team) at 1:40-something. Apparently at least one of the guys is a pro mtn biker. But the winners of the whole thing? Two women. One a former pro rider, and a current Cat 3 rider. --And apparently the first time in any of the Urban Assault Races a women's team won it all. Pretty cool if you ask me. And the Co-ed team that beat us? [Owen Wilson voice] They're from L.A. Yeah, did three other Urban Assault Races this year. They flew out just for this.[end Owen Wilson voice]
So we came in fourth overall, and second in the Co-Ed division. Considering the caliber of racers who finished ahead of us, I feel like it was a great day. NewGirl(ish) took a little while longer to release her competitive juices and get over that we hadn't won, but once she came down, she was ecstatic too. We enjoyed our free (Chipototalltittle) burritos, and free Fat Tire beer.
Then we climbed the rope wall for the slip-n-slide a few more times before heading home.
Last edited by superdex; 07-31-06 at 11:00 AM.
07-31-06, 10:47 AM
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Sounds like a fun race, I've never heard of one like that. Also sounds like NewGril(ish) is a keeper?
Joe
Joe
07-31-06, 10:58 AM
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staring at the mountains
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I think she might be, but she's being a little slow to come around. Heck it's only been a few weeks, and she reiterated last week that she didn't want to be in a Relationship. (which is perfect), but we've been hanging out. Good times. I'll post pics when I get em....
07-31-06, 04:26 PM
#4
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Originally Posted by joeprim
Sounds like a fun race, I've never heard of one like that. Also sounds like NewGril(ish) is a keeper?
Joe
Joe
Last edited by pedex; 07-31-06 at 04:38 PM.
07-31-06, 08:16 PM
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Originally Posted by superdex
I think she might be, but she's being a little slow to come around. Heck it's only been a few weeks, and she reiterated last week that she didn't want to be in a Relationship. (which is perfect), but we've been hanging out. Good times. I'll post pics when I get em....
[For the record, this is not how I ended up married.]
__________________
“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." (Churchill)
"I am a courageous cyclist." (SpongeDad)
“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." (Churchill)
"I am a courageous cyclist." (SpongeDad)
07-31-06, 10:18 PM
#6
RacingBear
Originally Posted by SpongeDad
[For the record, this is not how I ended up married.]
Anyway sounds like a fun race.
08-01-06, 01:20 AM
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staring at the mountains
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Originally Posted by SpongeDad
You, Sir, are the victim of the Secret Reverse/who wears the pants? relationship gambit. She'll have you begging for a relationship because she's pretending to not want one. Then one day you pathetically moan that you just want know where everything is going because, geez, you'd like to get married someday and you don't want to waste your time if there's no future in it. And she'll ask "Do you think we could end up married?" And you will hear the slammer doors shutting. It's like emotional jujitsu.
[For the record, this is not how I ended up married.]
[For the record, this is not how I ended up married.]
