Michigander

Continental bike shop of Madison Heights Michigan to my friend who merely had a busted cable housing tube:

"It would be cheaper to buy a whole new bike than to fix it"

Waxbytes

"Your bike just came in, we will have it built up in a couple of hours"

georgiaboy

"Don't buy a Surly frame, it always breaks at the chainstay."

ken cummings

"Hello, what can I/We help you with?" This AM the wife and I went to NorCal Bike Sport and two clerks turned, smiled and offered help.

gwhunt23

"Oh, sorry, that part won't come in for over a month. Here's the higher-up model for the same price."

Bearminder

Went into my LBS to buy gloves for my son. All the kids gloves were too small and the clerk suggested small size women's gloves - and I picked out a pair. The look on my kid's face was an amusing mix of terror, embaressment, and grief about having "women's" gloves. The clerk looks and says "Oh, you want THOSE style! We special ordered a pair for Lance Armstrong but he never picked them up- there in the back." Looks my son dead in the face and whispers "Lance had really tiny hands."

Runs in the back and returns with the same gloves I picked out- but the "Women's" tag cut out.

FlatTop

On a Friday evening, holiday weekend. The shop owner looks harried, and there's only one other customer in the shop.

Me: Do you have any three speed shifter cables?

Owner: Sturmey-Archer or Shimano?

Siu Blue Wind

That is awesome! Nothing like a quick thinking clerk to help out the parents!!

The Rob

(Followed by more tales of horror and woe)

I don't miss working retail at all.

My favorite: "Yeah that (indicating widget I'm holding in my hand) is good but this (indicating similar widget on the shelf) is just as effective and costs less". Followed up by "I'd rather give you what you need rather than what you think you need so that you'll keep coming back".

I use the internet too, on occasion, but you won't get that level of service from an e-tailer.

rickhunter

LBS: Hello my friend... your bike will be ready tomorrow at 10am
me: Great! see ya..

next day NOON... my bike was untouched parked outside the shop, without any work done...
LBS: hey my friend - at what time where you picking up the bike?
me: you said to come at 10am but i was late... what happened?
LBS: don't worry my friend it'll take 10 minutes....
me: what?!!!
(in my head) for a f***ng $55 tune up? new tires? 10 minutes?!

VaughnA

Overheard from a local LBS owner: "I'm sorry but I won't sell a bike for a child without a helmet. Either you take both or no sale". I'm no helmet Nazi for adults but I think its a good policy for kids.

"You got the tool for that?, No?" I have an extra one, bring it back next week. That same mechanic wrote down "RED POS" for make and model on a repair ticket for my 30.00 hillbilly singlespeed.

I-Like-To-Bike

Does that local LBS permit his bike customers to buy helmets from other stores, i.e. Walmart etc? Could be a principled LBS merchant solely concerned with his customer's safety; also could be a sales gimmick for pushing the product with a far higher markup and more profit potential than a relatively inexpensive kid's bike.

here and there

"We rebuilt the wheel for you, but didn't have enough spokes to replace the cheap ones so we just left them on." (less than a week later I took the wheel in for a broken spoke)

"Yeah, surface rust is very common with the cranks you have, don't worry about it."

"There's a box of stuff over there where we might what you're looking for. Take what you want."

InTheTrenches

I have loaned out some oddball tools, that I have more than one of. You never know when someone else will come in with the same problem. So far the only thing that has never come back is my, out of production, cotter pin press, some bastard kept that. And I only had ONE.

While funny, I would never call your POS a POS, to you. Many people love thier POS, I love all of mine.

james Haury

From My Lbs which is a dahon dealer in reference to an an adjustable handlepost which I wished to mate to a revolve stem".We can't fix that you shoved the old one down in there" I took a ( regular non Dahon)seatpost shim from another dahon(stem is not compatible with this one,It is an old dahon )and did it myself.I tried to support them .I cannot help it if they will not take my money.

VaughnA

He's genuinely concerned. When some of his shop guys were in a photoshoot for a local magazine and one of the other riders insisted on not wearing a helmet (on a 40 mph parkway downhill) he told the magazine that he didn't want his guys to be seen without helmets and would pull his advertizing. They photoshopped a helmet on the guy before it was published. He offered to sell the helmet at half price and they bought it.

He's a good guy and a friend. Holds a beer and wine party at Christmas every year at the shop and supports every event in the area.

leob1

"I gotta be honest with you, we can try and bend it back, but it just might break off", while looking at my twisted RD and bent hanger, "give us a call or stop back in Tuesday."

Tuesday rolls around, the wrench comes out with my bike, with a new RD. "That hanger was the worst I ever seen. It was bent in evey possible way. It's not perfect, but it should give you no problems. I also adjusted the wheels and brakes" This is on a bike that I didn't buy at this shop, they don't even sell the brand.
Sadly, the shop changed owners, the new owner is nice, but the shop now has a different attitude.

VaughnA

He was just joking about the POS. In fact I'm thinking about repainting it and putting POS on the downtube! I kindof like it. That 30.00 bike has a lot of miles on it this summer'

Gingergin

Reply I got when I asked the LBS guy how to oil the chain:
If you don't ride your bike in the rain you will never have to oil it.
I believed him....for a second!

va_cyclist

"Thanks for stopping in."

rando

"What you're looking for basically doesn't exist."

but then when I came back in he had found it on the internets.

recursive

"Sorry for running into you yesterday."

(low speed bike vs bike, my fault probably)

dagna

"Sure, we can order you the same bike in a different size, at our clearance price. No problem!"

Flak

"Hey Rob, what's up?"

grolby

Correct though you may be, the glossary comments specifically on its popularity in the United States, and its alleged former popularity in the UK and Asia. There's no comment whatsoever on its popularity in other parts of the world. So, uh, what's the beef?

"The problem is that most Americans are ******** about utility bikes. They pick it up and go, 'duh, it's so heavy,' but they're being idiots." (Paraphrased for poor memory and some profanity).

I like this LBS. Not always golden-tongued, but genuine, honest and with an appreciation of everything that bikes can be good for.