Ball-Busting Wives
10-26-06, 01:58 PM
#101
Senior Member
Originally Posted by chipcom
Take 'penis-whipped' a bit more literally Danno ole pal - like getting smacked in the face with one, as in some of Howie Stern's stunts with porn stars, and you'll get it. Frack, if I gotta explain a one-liner, it's a flop. 
. We should send the OP a 3-foot rubber dild0 so he can slap his wife back into shape, eh?
10-26-06, 02:10 PM
#102
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Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
Sorry to blow your joke. Howard gets censored out here so we don't get to see any of the good stuff. . We should send the OP a 3-foot rubber dild0 so he can slap his wife back into shape, eh?
. We should send the OP a 3-foot rubber dild0 so he can slap his wife back into shape, eh?
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
10-26-06, 02:11 PM
#103
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Originally Posted by CrimsonEclipse
um.... this thread got strange...
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
10-26-06, 04:07 PM
#104
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Originally Posted by WorldPax
First you have to grow a pair for her to be able to bust them. So far it just sounds like she's kicking you in the mangina. Man up!
10-26-06, 04:21 PM
#106
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Originally Posted by BIGPAKO
Print all the posts in this thread and accidentally leave it where she'll find it.
Sounds like a BAD IDEA to me.
10-26-06, 05:52 PM
#107
Senior Member
... and probably no sex either... poor guy... then again, who chose this chic to marry anyway...?
10-26-06, 05:58 PM
#108
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Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
... and probably no sex either... poor guy... then again, who chose this chic to marry anyway...?
__________________
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
10-26-06, 06:07 PM
#109
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My wife used to try to restrict my bike riding, but then she realized due to my bad ankles its the only exercise i get, and i have high cholesterol so any exercise is good. And if she got mean about it I'd ride and take myself to dinner and a movie while she stays at home watching tv because i took the car keys 
Now i'm pretty much free to do what I want as long as I do common sense chores (like if she works 16 hours on that day, and im off that day, and i go for a long bike ride and she comes home and the house is a total mess, that would be bad) she still kinda pokes fun at me like "you're going riding in the rain? you're wierd!" or "don't ride now it's dark out!" or "why ride to work, aren't you sweaty?". when riding with her though I let her pretty much call the shots on the length and difficulty of the ride, which usually means it will be short and easy but hey, we're riding together and she's starting to like harder trails.
In short, pick your fights, you're married so don't want to make each other so mad you fall out of love... I let my wife pick out pretty much everything when grocery shopping, and i add some caffienated trail mix bars, she has control of all the decorations, what kinds of pets we have etc... but if i wanna go on a 3+ hour bike ride (and my chores are done
) then she won't/can't stop me, and if she's mad at me when i get back she can bite me for all i care, i'll fall asleep on the couch watching tv. Actually when she's mad at me usually she goes to the couch
Now i'm pretty much free to do what I want as long as I do common sense chores (like if she works 16 hours on that day, and im off that day, and i go for a long bike ride and she comes home and the house is a total mess, that would be bad) she still kinda pokes fun at me like "you're going riding in the rain? you're wierd!" or "don't ride now it's dark out!" or "why ride to work, aren't you sweaty?". when riding with her though I let her pretty much call the shots on the length and difficulty of the ride, which usually means it will be short and easy but hey, we're riding together and she's starting to like harder trails. In short, pick your fights, you're married so don't want to make each other so mad you fall out of love... I let my wife pick out pretty much everything when grocery shopping, and i add some caffienated trail mix bars, she has control of all the decorations, what kinds of pets we have etc... but if i wanna go on a 3+ hour bike ride (and my chores are done
) then she won't/can't stop me, and if she's mad at me when i get back she can bite me for all i care, i'll fall asleep on the couch watching tv. Actually when she's mad at me usually she goes to the couch
10-26-06, 06:08 PM
#110
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Originally Posted by chipcom
You gets what you pays for...which is why I prefer $1500 an hour hookers.
"You don't pay hookers to show up, you pay them to leave"
10-26-06, 07:55 PM
#111
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When a wife tries to restrict your riding, what you have to do is find something she does that needs some restriction. Then carp on it big time. You know, like calling the bank and reducing the limit on her credit card. That ought to do it.
Last edited by bkaapcke; 10-27-06 at 03:12 PM.
10-26-06, 10:58 PM
#112
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Originally Posted by ernestocolnago
Anyone have a wife or significant other who busts your balls no matter how long you ride or what time you ride?
Occasionally I get back a few minutes later than I say I will, and I PAY!!!!
I have given up long rides ( for me , > 3 hours ) and have limited myself to 2 hrs or less. Despite this, I get grief.
This can be in the form of dirty look, sarcastic comment, or outright guilt.
I try to make it a practice to ride only when we don't have family activities planned, or if it interferes with kids extra-curricular activities, my wife's work or my work. I have totally given up going on group rides because of this, and fly solo.
Nevertheless, unless I am gone <1 hr, I am made to feel like I've abandoned the family or killed the dog or something.
Maybe I'll take up running
Occasionally I get back a few minutes later than I say I will, and I PAY!!!!
I have given up long rides ( for me , > 3 hours ) and have limited myself to 2 hrs or less. Despite this, I get grief.
This can be in the form of dirty look, sarcastic comment, or outright guilt.
I try to make it a practice to ride only when we don't have family activities planned, or if it interferes with kids extra-curricular activities, my wife's work or my work. I have totally given up going on group rides because of this, and fly solo.
Nevertheless, unless I am gone <1 hr, I am made to feel like I've abandoned the family or killed the dog or something.
Maybe I'll take up running
10-27-06, 01:21 AM
#113
Portland Fred
Originally Posted by CommuterRun
Sounds to me like you married a control freak. Let me guess, life is great, but only as long as everything is going her way. See a marriage counselor. I'd just about bet cycling isn't the only thing you do that she has a problem with. If she won't go, go by yourself.
CommuterRun may have nailed the problem and you have to decide what to do with it. Your basic choices are to bail or to come to terms with your situation. Let her be herself and insist on playing by the same rules yourself. If cycling's the only time you get to yourself, don't give it up. Growing balls is not about being some macho sh*thead. It's about knowing which battles are worth fighting and then doing what it takes. If cycling's really that important to you and you don't have kids or other commitments, let her know.
If you don't have kids, I think 5 hrs is totally reasonable once a week, provided that you do your share around the house and don't hassle your wife when she wants to go out with the girls for an extended shopping trip or a female bonding session
10-27-06, 08:53 AM
#114
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Originally Posted by nycphotography
What? Then he'd have no bike time, AND NO INTERNET.
Sounds like a BAD IDEA to me.
Sounds like a BAD IDEA to me.
10-27-06, 09:25 AM
#115
Prefers Cicero
Originally Posted by BIGPAKO
Maybe that's the PROB. The time he wastes on this forum should be spent on the bike.
10-27-06, 10:40 AM
#116
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Originally Posted by flatlander_48
That won't solve anything as running still takes time. Sorry for your situation as it sounds a bit like my ex-wife. Actually, it is one of the many reasons she is now in that category. 2nd wife rides and it makes all the difference in the world.
Of course, running takes WAY more hours than biking. wink wink.
10-27-06, 12:36 PM
#117
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Originally Posted by cooker
Not the OP...he's posted 6 times on BF in three years.
10-27-06, 03:33 PM
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Please, these posts cannot be for real...The guy goes online with no info about himself other than to say his wife restricts his riding if it's over an hour. Suddenly, his wife is a ball busting control freak and he needs to dump her?
Here's a thought... arrange babysitting and take your wife to dinner. Does she like chocolate and flowers? If so, buy her some chocolate and flowers. When she starts getting upset with you, count to 10 slowly and hug her. Practise a little self sacrifice and control. Tell her you love her. Encourage her to ride with you if that's possible. Basically, encourage her to do what she loves. Start today. Again, think Self Sacrifice.
Here's a thought... arrange babysitting and take your wife to dinner. Does she like chocolate and flowers? If so, buy her some chocolate and flowers. When she starts getting upset with you, count to 10 slowly and hug her. Practise a little self sacrifice and control. Tell her you love her. Encourage her to ride with you if that's possible. Basically, encourage her to do what she loves. Start today. Again, think Self Sacrifice.
10-27-06, 03:42 PM
#119
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Originally Posted by heathermomster
Please, these posts cannot be for real...The guy goes online with no info about himself other than to say his wife restricts his riding if it's over an hour. Suddenly, his wife is a ball busting control freak and he needs to dump her?
Here's a thought... arrange babysitting and take your wife to dinner. Does she like chocolate and flowers? If so, buy her some chocolate and flowers. When she starts getting upset with you, count to 10 slowly and hug her. Practise a little self sacrifice and control. Tell her you love her. Encourage her to ride with you if that's possible. Basically, encourage her to do what she loves. Start today. Again, think Self Sacrifice.
Here's a thought... arrange babysitting and take your wife to dinner. Does she like chocolate and flowers? If so, buy her some chocolate and flowers. When she starts getting upset with you, count to 10 slowly and hug her. Practise a little self sacrifice and control. Tell her you love her. Encourage her to ride with you if that's possible. Basically, encourage her to do what she loves. Start today. Again, think Self Sacrifice.
My son's first sentence was "Mommy Angry", and we all walked on egg shells hoping she wouldn't Go Nuclear. Nothing worked.
Sometimes it's best to Cut and Run - I know I'm 1000% happier now than I was when I was married to that BBB.
BTW - the OP didn't say his wife "restricts his riding" (he'd done that himself). He said she gives him grief, busts his balls, and makes him "feel like I've abandoned the family or killed the dog".
10-27-06, 05:47 PM
#120
Jet Jockey
Originally Posted by chipcom
Frack
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Good night...and good luck
Good night...and good luck
10-27-06, 05:51 PM
#121
Jet Jockey
Originally Posted by heathermomster
Here's a thought... arrange babysitting and take your wife to dinner. Does she like chocolate and flowers? If so, buy her some chocolate and flowers. When she starts getting upset with you, count to 10 slowly and hug her. Practise a little self sacrifice and control. Tell her you love her. Encourage her to ride with you if that's possible. Basically, encourage her to do what she loves. Start today. Again, think Self Sacrifice.
Gawd...
I love my wife...and if we had an issue to deal with, and my method was to count to 10 and then hug her, I do believe she would pull away and accuse me of going soft in the head. Not to mention being angry at me for avoidance.
In fact, when I'm in very mild trouble, attempting to give her a hug and say sweetly "I love you" is a total bit of avoidance and sucking up, and she knows it. However, she also knows that I know, so in the end I'm really trying to get her a bit more riled up anyway.
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Good night...and good luck
Good night...and good luck
11-08-06, 11:46 AM
#122
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Originally Posted by banzai_f16
Here's a thought...go slap yourself for seriously paraphrasing that "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" garbage.
Gawd...
I love my wife...and if we had an issue to deal with, and my method was to count to 10 and then hug her, I do believe she would pull away and accuse me of going soft in the head. Not to mention being angry at me for avoidance.
In fact, when I'm in very mild trouble, attempting to give her a hug and say sweetly "I love you" is a total bit of avoidance and sucking up, and she knows it. However, she also knows that I know, so in the end I'm really trying to get her a bit more riled up anyway.
Gawd...
I love my wife...and if we had an issue to deal with, and my method was to count to 10 and then hug her, I do believe she would pull away and accuse me of going soft in the head. Not to mention being angry at me for avoidance.
In fact, when I'm in very mild trouble, attempting to give her a hug and say sweetly "I love you" is a total bit of avoidance and sucking up, and she knows it. However, she also knows that I know, so in the end I'm really trying to get her a bit more riled up anyway.
11-08-06, 01:17 PM
#123
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yeah if my wife and i are arguing or something, and i try to hug her, i can expect a knee in the boys. you should be able to reason with her and make her understand that it's something important to you, and if you can't convince her that biking isn't stupid, then at least convince her that you like biking even though it's stupid. i had a similar argument yesterday where my wife didn't want me to bike in the rain cuz it's stupid. i advised we're in the PNW so it's gonna be rainy till around may. so if i only bike in the sun i might get 3 rides in by summer, and i need the exercise for my cholesterol and mental well being. i also run all my lights in the rain and have nice expensive rain gear. she still didn't get it and just went "whatever be careful" after a few wet rides i kept coming back unscathed and relatively dry. now we're looking at rain coats/pants and wool socks for her so we can go on rainy rides together.
11-08-06, 05:53 PM
#124
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Originally Posted by banerjek
Not so easy. I feel your pain. Don't listen to these effin' idiots who tell you to dump your wife or lay it on the line.
. . . Growing balls is not about being some macho sh*thead. It's about knowing which battles are worth fighting and then doing what it takes. I . . .
. . . Growing balls is not about being some macho sh*thead. It's about knowing which battles are worth fighting and then doing what it takes. I . . .
Jeeze you all, why does standing up for yourself and not letting someone walk all over you get called "growing balls?" Men are the only ones who can stand up for themselves? Growing balls ain't no big deal, every mammal on the planet grows a pain.
Any one can stand up for what is right for them. It doesn't take balls, believe me! If you think it takes balls, then you may be heading for/stuck in "macho shi*thead" land.
I know it's just a turn of phrase, but DANG it!
Go ahead and carry on. . .
11-08-06, 06:12 PM
#125
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Q.why does my wife close her eyes when we have sex ?
A. because she can't bear to see me enjoying myself !
, but seriosly ,maybe you should persuede her to take up an activety that takes her away from the home & is just for her ! find out what she would like to do & perseude her to give it a go , even if it cost you $$$, it will be worth it ! The other thing could be that she's worried about you having an accident while out riding the bike ?
A. because she can't bear to see me enjoying myself !
, but seriosly ,maybe you should persuede her to take up an activety that takes her away from the home & is just for her ! find out what she would like to do & perseude her to give it a go , even if it cost you $$$, it will be worth it ! The other thing could be that she's worried about you having an accident while out riding the bike ?