Olebiker

I bought my first good road bike frame, a Proteus, back in the mid 1970s. It had no braze-ons at all. I got everything installed and headed out to a club ride without even test riding it. The first time I tried to shift I found that I had put the clamp that secured the water bottle to the downtube OVER the derailleur cable.

DoB

Two stories:

I took my daughters and nephews on a paved trail ride that involved one laaarge hill. The older kids went down and I was left at the top with the youngest - just turned 5. "OK," says I "ride forward a foot or so and show me how you can use the coaster brake or else we'll walk down this one". He rides off down the hill. A bad wobble set in as he crested about 25 mph and he and the bike parted ways when he left the trail altogether at the bottom. He was miraculously unhurt, but had a terror of hills for the next year. Rookie mistake - Don't assess a child's braking skills for the first time at the top of a big hill.

For me, I planned to ride my faster CX bike on 700c-28's on good days all winter and just jump on the hybrid with studded tires for bad days. This is because the weatherman is never wrong. So Monday afternoon I'm at work and it starts snowing. "Hmmmm....there was no snow in the forecast". I made it three miles towards home before I went down. Rookie mistake - Don't trust the weatherman and don't ride ice on slicks.

caloso

I've got a recent one. But I have to set the scene. I was working in a small satellite office of our agency and at the end of one day I had to go to the main office for some overtime project. The main office is only in the next block but it's a hassle to go back to the bike cage so in those situations I take my bike with me and sneak it up the back stairs of the main building. Our receptionist needed to send some documents over to the main office and I said Don't wait for the messenger, I can deliver them for you, no problem.

The bike cage is at the top of a gentle slope down to the main sidewalk and rather than walk the bike, or actually mount it, I thought I'd just put one foot on the pedal and coast it down the slope. I had put on my bike shoes but didn't actually click in. Or so I thought.

So I'm coasting down the slope just standing on one pedal with the papers half balanced on the handle bars. Halfway down the slope I'm gaining some speed and I start to lose my grip of the papers and they're sliding down toward the front wheel. I reach down to catch the papers, somehow hit the front brake, and flip over the bike, papers flying everywhere, and I end up on the ground with the bike on top of me. I tried to get up quickly and gracefully (okay, well as gracefully as possible), but my foot is solidly attached to the pedal. I just laid there for a few seconds and hoped no one I knew saw me.

genec

Eons ago back in the '70s or so, I was busy watching my legs go round and looking at the front derailer and the chainrings... obviously my head was down... and I plowed right into a camper that was sticking out of the back end of a truck. It was at just the right height for the bike to go under... but there I was still on the saddle, plastered to the back of this camper. Man, did I feel stupid.

It was a quiet residential street... and no one was around, so I just peeled myself off the camper and slinked on outta there...

Laika74

I was riding home from work and I couldn't make a left on a road because traffic was bad so I decided to ride up the sidewalk towards traffic and wait for an opening to cut across. There was a sign blocking the walkway a little ways ahead (one of those big orange road work signs) but I thought there was an opening in traffic to cut across. I sped up a bit and started to cut across when I noticed a car speeding towards me in the lane I was about to enter. I got scared and cut my bike back on the path, hit the sign, and flew in a bush. I did have the sense to duck my head so my helmet hit the bush first. I never had the sense to just hit my brakes.

I just laughed.

Philatio

going about 20mph down a slight hill I noticed my right bar plug looked a little loose. I smacked it with my hand to knock it back in all the way and came as close to falling as possible without going down. It turned out alright, but I think it's definetely the stupidest thing I've done.

Cyclist0094

Same deal, I drove 80 miles once to lead a road ride and forgot my front wheel

ranger5oh

I thought trackstanding would be easy... so the first time I tried it I was at a busy intersection on new Look pedals. Well... I soon found out, to my amazement that trackstanding is difficult, as I lay on my back. Several drivers asking me.. "ARE YOU OK!?" My reply... "Fine.. just my ego that hurts"

pedex

first time I tried skidding on a fixed gear, coming at an intersection with a red light, I was about 150ft away and moving right along, gave it a shot, got the wheel locked up ok but neglected to think about how far Id really end up going not being used to this maneuver yet I didnt think to just lean back or get back in the saddle and just stop quicker or back pedal like normal, nope, I went ahead and rode it out---------right into the intersection but managed to turn right when I got there, still skidding like a fool, the bike god musta have been watching over me cause no cars came thru and I didnt hit anything

ax0n

^^^ LOL!

I'm laughing because today was my first time back on slicks in over a week, and I locked them up and almost slid into an intersection this morning as well. Stupid wet roads. And my front brakes on the outlook kind of suck. They're full-blown cantilevers, and I'm used to linear pulls which IMHO stop a lot harder. Maybe I'll swing by the LBS tomorrow and see if they can recommend some better pads.

seriouslysilly

The ones that stick out most in my mind was when I was younger.

1. I was riding a bike in front of my house and teasing my neighbor. I was riding in circles and just poking fun. I guess when he had enough, he waited for me to come across and go to the sidewalk. That was when he pushed a skateboard and it caught my rear tire. It stopped the bike and I flew over the handlebars.

2. A giant tree was just cut down by the county and left a pile of wood chips on the street right in front of my house. I decided to have a contest to see who could have the biggest air coming off of that ramp. Not to be beat, I decided to off quickly. All I remember is the second I hit the ramp and falling. I don't remember the air time at all. It wasn't serious, just too fast. My front time just have tilted to the left and I didn't realize it when i came down. The bike stopped and i flipped over it.

3. not serious, but I was on my dad's road bike and decided to practice endos. I picked up some speed and slammed on the front brakes and lifted by bottom. It must have been the right speed because I was on my two wheels for a good 5 seconds. I was not trying to balance, I was just frozen looking at the road hoping not to flip over. Fortunately, I felt the back tire goign back down (maybe the wind or something) and pushed my back.

NoRacer

Two days ago, during my commute home, I was stopped at an intersection in rush hour traffic, waiting for the light to turn green. As I saw the light coming our way, I prep'ed for a sprint so that I could ride the draft of the car in front of me. Light turns green; I clip in; I start sprinting; left cleat pops out of pedal; I almost hit the deck, but saved it at the last moment, scuffing the heck out of my neoprene shoe boot. Checked the cleat when I got home. It definitely is over worn and needs to be replaced. But, where did I put the spares. Never did find them.

Yesterday, same intersection. Same circumstances, except I'm being razzed by some young kids just off the intersection. Their mother is buying a Christmas tree. They're yelling, "Hey, bike guy!" and "Hello, bike guy!" and other stuff I couldn't quite make out. I'm waving to each one who yells my way.

Light turns green; I clip in; I start sprinting; left cleat pops out of pedal; foot hits the deck; bike flips over; I'm in a heap in the middle of traffic. I slowly pick myself up and walking over to a "safe zone" to assess damage. One strawberry (it looks more like a raspberry, today) and a bump on my knee. Bike looks fine. Pride is damaged beyond repair--at least until I get across the intersection, which was done slowly this time.

By the way, I found my spare cleats.

NoRacer

I tried that on my road bike during a century, just coming in to one of the rest stops. Everyone was there, as I went over too far and fell right on my head with the bike following along. I jumped up really quickly and announced to everyone who saw, "I'm alright! No problems! And, for my next act..."

Nothing was hurt, except a scraped brifter--and my pride.

cyccommute 

In that case, you give them the map (while hiding your bike behind the car) and say, "Go that way. I'll catch up." Then go home

I, unfortunately, had three other people in the car. I'm never going riding without bike shoes again!

Roche

1. I had finished a big group roadie ride where a bunch of us sprinted at the end, so I was kinda winded. Those of us who sprinted were just cruising around the parking lot in our lowest gears, settling down, while the rest of the riders trickled in.

I thought I would be cool and take off my helmet and rest it on the handlebars so I could cool off. Unfortunately, the helmet had other ideas...it slipped off the handlebars and came to a rest right in front of my front tire. The front wheel hit the helmet, I came to a complete stop and fell over the handlebars.....Yes, everybody saw it and some of them even clapped.

2. Just last night I got a new set of handlebars in the mail. The bars are zip-tied to a piece of cardboard, and while using my super-sharp pocket knife to cut the zipties, I slipped and cut a big slice into the top of my left thumb right below the thumbnail. No stitches, but lots of bleeding.

DMF 

When will you figure out that the fish grease the rocks?

howsteepisit

Most rookie...That wouldhave been back in my rookie years, when I did a tire debris sweep on the rear tire, and had my fingers get swept down to between the tire and the seat tube. Lost a good bit of skin on that one!

wfin2004

Bought a new Trek 4900 Mtn bike couple years ago. They come with reflectors by the way. Rookie me left the reflectors on for over a year before I realized my bike was the only "cool" looking bike on the trails with reflectors! [say it... Nerd]

backinthesaddle

back in my early days when I first started working on my bike, I must have cleaned and lubricated the quick release skewer a dozen times before I figured out it wasn't a moving part at all.

chephy

Yep, reflectors are pathetic. Get some HIDs and you'll look really cool, especially in the dark.

Cyclaholic

Just a few weeks ago I'm about 1/3 of the way into my commute, running late, and as I stop at a red light I look to my left and see a guy on a bike and think to myself "nice bike but what an idiot for not wearing a helmet" (helmet is required by law here) and as soon as I thought that, I realised that was my own reflection in a shop front. I have no idea how I managed to go over 10 miles without noticing that I wasn't wearing it. I stopped in at a bike shop and bought a new one.

Cyclaholic

That's exactly how I unpack about 70% of new bike stuff.... the excitement of a new toy + sharp blade to cut packing material = sliced fingers but look on the bright side, human blood works just as well as Locktite, I know this for a fact

savage24

About 30 years ago (I was 11) I was riding through yards down a hill after dark with no light. There was a clothes line at the bottom of this hill. "No problem!" I say to myself... "This is MY neighborhood, I know exactly where that clothes line pole is." Just as I am about to pass the clothes line pole, an angled line appears about 12 inches in front of my face... "oh sh*t, forgot about the anchor wire going into the ground!" It hit right across the bridge of my nose and took me off of the bike. The big old wooden pole had been there for some time and was rotted at the ground and broke off, which probably helped lessen my injuries considerably. The bike was fine, I had a weird mark across my face for a day or so, but the old clothes line never recovered.

About 4 years ago I drove 3 hours to ride on the Katy Trail, go to an auction, and visit relatives. When I arrived at the trail head I discovered that I had loaded my bike on the rack facing the wrong way which placed the front tire directly behind the exhaust pipe of the car. After three hours on the highway my front tire & tube where roasted. Fortunately I had other things to do while there so the trip was not a total waste.

Identity Crisis

One day I was going on a leisurely ride by myself on a canal towpath trail. Having a grand time when my wife rang me up on the cell. Now this was a few years ago where I considered cycling any more than 100 miles a year was a *lot.*

So, being the idiot that I was, I answered the phone while in motion held a casual conversation at about 12-15 mph with little to no traffic around for me to endanger. All of the sudden an insect flies directly into the ear that was not occupied by the phone ! I started swatting at the newly occupied ear with fury with my available arm and soon realised that I forgot that I was still traveling at ~15mph with very little regard for my balance and no control of the handlebars. I quickly veered off course fell to the ground bounced off the limestone trial and straight into the somewhat mucky, mostly gooey, remnants of the canal.

My wife got to hear the whole thing, and of course now that I'm covered in road rash and muck the traffic reappears... learned some mighty valuable lessons there.

Alloy Addict

I won't even get into what I did as a kid.

I will tell this one though, as it involves overconfidence, poor judgement, a brand new bike, pain, and public humiliation. In college I had an apartment in an old house where the yard was a couple of feet higher than the sidewalk, and the slope between the two made a great ramp. My habit on arriving home was to shoot up that ramp and skid to a stop at the last second so I was right at the bottom of the building's steps when I stopped. That was on my Raleigh Technium pseudo mountain bike.

Late fall that year I finally got the Cannondale SM700 I had been saving for. The ride home was one of those new bike rides that I'm sure a lot of you have had. MY expensive, nimble, cool, Deore equipped bike and I road home with me in a state of euphoria. I turned on to my street and I knew I was coming to my little ramp, and I was on a MOUNTAIN bikem, baby! I cranked up, confident of the new bikes abilities (and mine). The jump was sweet, the landing fine, then I went to brake. Did I mention it was late fall? I hit a thick layer of wet, slimy leaves and the stopping was out of my control. I ended up skidding sideways a bit before I came crashing down and my elbow landed on the only hard surface in the yard, the two foot wide sidewalk.

I laid there for a second, mad as hell that I had just wrecked my knew bike 20 minutes out of the shop. Then I heard the snickering, which turned to laughter. One of my neighbors in the next building was on his porch and witnessed the whole event. He kept trying to ask me if I was OK, but he couldn't quite stop laughing.

My elbow was bleeding, and sore for days, but luckily my new bike was OK. The best part was that I popped its crash cherry so early that the next one was no big deal at all.