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Originally Posted by no1mad
(Post 13928349)
Okay.....
1. Family history of diabetes. The cycling is an effort to avoid developing it. Diabetes and glaucoma is a wicked combo that I would very much like to avoid in the fight to save what's left of my sight. 2. He has no problem with me riding, so long as it's not too aggressive- from a positioning stand point. I made sure that my wife was present when we discussed it; however, they equate any drop bar set up as aggressive. I think the Tour de France was going on at the time. 3. As to the light(s), I had a cheap Coleman Maxx 3xAAA flashlight and a Zefal front light- both from Wal-Mart. The Zefal has died and the Coleman has gone missing (I think my son may have had a hand it that). I was primarily riding on MUPs, so oncoming lights were a non-issue around here. 4. And I tend to pick the lowest traffic volume routes that I can- day or night- to minimize risks. So what exactly needed to be done to your bike? And what kind of work were you doing? I can understand that a couple medical conditions can make it difficult to get hired, but its not impossible. I guess the other question would be what kind of relationship you have with your wife and kids? Has it suffered because of your medical conditions? How did you and your wife work out sharing responsibilities before and after you lost your job? I guess some of these may be a little personal and if you'd rather answer by email feel free. |
Originally Posted by no1mad
(Post 13926736)
I've been laid off, so money is tight. So much so, that the wife feels we can't justify the fuel to just enter for the drawings. I tried to logically point out that I could use a new saddle, my tires are stock (bike is an '06), could never have enough lights...also tried to tell her that the wheelsets could probably make enough on CL to pay the rent or at least a couple of utility bills...but she says we can't afford it. :cry:
Then she got on her laptop and ordered up some Papa John's :twitchy: We know what lean times are all about here, understand disability issues, and how what one wants may not be what one needs. If the saddle works and the tyres have not perished you can probably make it a little while longer before you replace them and there is always the option of going used or second hand. Your wife is probably acutely aware of how your being laid off will affect things and if you were working would bet that she would have had less of a problem with you going to the LBS on the chance you might win something that you can trade for what is much needed cash. Talk to the shop, explain the financial situation and bet they will be accommodating since times are tough all over. And ignore what the lady in the back row is saying. |
Originally Posted by Machka
(Post 13928374)
Oh ... how disappointing. :D
I don't think I've gone too far at all. And if a person starts a thread complaining that he can't get bicycle stuff, and that the utility bills need to be paid, all in the same breath ... the kid gloves are off. He's been around long enough. He knows that. |
Not sure if I'm an oddball but if I were to lose my job and had to support my wife and kids, there's no way I'd be spending any money on anything that wasn't necessary. House, bills, food, clothing come before luxuries like bicycle related purchases.
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Originally Posted by Sixty Fiver
(Post 13928389)
We know what lean times are all about here, understand disability issues, and how what one wants may not be what one needs.
During the leanest years in my life, I rode a department store road bicycle (a Venture from Zellers) with stock department store components. I put thousands of kilometres on that bicycle, and learned to do some of my own maintenance. I would have loved to spend more on my cycling back in those days, but rent, food, and other more critical expenses took priority. |
Apparently, I missed a few posts while composing (and watching 'Kitchen Nightmares' on Hulu in another tab).
Cooking? I'm the chief cook. Have been for years. Dishes, laundry, trash, yard work, basically all the other household chores as well. Again, for years. So it's not like I'm a lazy bastige. Without going into all the financials, let's just say I've been the primary wage earner until now. She had a decent paying job as an Admin Assistant for a car tire and repair business. Her boss felt threatened and made my wife's life miserable, so she decided to change careers. She spent roughly 2 years selling medical supplement insurance for a couple of firms- or trying to. Towards the end, she was spending more than she was making- driving all over the State, turnpike fees, fuel, food, daycare for the kids... we decided it would be cheaper for her not to work. Then I took a demotion and $2/hr pay cut. So she manages to find a job in the field she did in the Navy and has an A.S. degree in- Electronics. She was there about a year, then the business closed. She was out of work for over a year. She finally got another job, we were starting to make headway on some of the past due debt... and I lose my job. So she is feeling the pressure. She's got to work to keep us off the streets. She's got child support to pay to her ex* and been ordered by the court to pay for medical insurance for said kids. She's got to pay for her Jeep and all of the fuel she's using, the insurance. I know the pressure, because I've had to do it when she wasn't working. *One is now 19, lived with us the last 2 years of High School, went to an in-state college for a year, has dropped out and living on her own. Another spent a year and half with us before her dad decided that she would be better off with him than us- and he's the one who had his parents drive from NC to OK to drop her off in the first place. He's been receiving child support for all three of their kids this entire time. That's has been and is a strain. |
Originally Posted by SlimRider
(Post 13928456)
No matter what you guys say, I've seen the extent to which No1mad attempts to help others here. It's quite obvious that he has a good heart and that he's a good person.
The sight problem, being unemployed, and his current relationship with his wife, most probably prompted him to seek solace here, amongst "friends". Welp! I guess that was one big mistake! After all is said and done, No1mad. I respect you and I think quite highly of you, regardless as to what others might state or imply here. I think you're one of the best!!! :thumb: |
Originally Posted by Burton
(Post 13928482)
Hey - don't take things the wrong way - theres quite a few pretty decent people in these forums and from what I've seen - you're one of them.
Thanks Burton! :thumb: |
Originally Posted by AKcycling
(Post 13928442)
Not sure if I'm an oddball but if I were to lose my job and had to support my wife and kids, there's no way I'd be spending any money on anything that wasn't necessary. House, bills, food, clothing come before luxuries like bicycle related purchases.
My bike is in another shop for a tune-up. Something that a lot here can do. But I'm not the most mechanically inclined person and my wife, justifiably, questioned every bike related expenditure- even before the finances got to be so rough. She claims we don't have the money to pay for it, but I have talked to them and paid for half of the amount owed from my last check. They are working with me, but I also realize that they are running a business and can't store my bike for free forever. I want my bike to help facilitate the in the job search. I'm to the point where I'll even work food service again. But the prime times to apply or either from 0800-1100 or 1400-1600. I'm not insured to drive the Jeep, my wife generally doesn't go to bed until 0400, and I have to home by 1530 for the kids. I don't mind walking, but the bike will allow me to cover more ground in the mornings while she's sleeping. |
Damn, this has gone from a 'my SO doesn't understand my love of cycling' to a 'my life sucks' rant. Wonder how long before someone asks the Mods to move this party to Foo...
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Originally Posted by no1mad
(Post 13928455)
Apparently, I missed a few posts while composing (and watching 'Kitchen Nightmares' on Hulu in another tab).
Cooking? I'm the chief cook. Have been for years. Dishes, laundry, trash, yard work, basically all the other household chores as well. Again, for years. So it's not like I'm a lazy bastige. Without going into all the financials, let's just say I've been the primary wage earner until now. She had a decent paying job as an Admin Assistant for a car tire and repair business. Her boss felt threatened and made my wife's life miserable, so she decided to change careers. She spent roughly 2 years selling medical supplement insurance for a couple of firms- or trying to. Towards the end, she was spending more than she was making- driving all over the State, turnpike fees, fuel, food, daycare for the kids... we decided it would be cheaper for her not to work. Then I took a demotion and $2/hr pay cut. So she manages to find a job in the field she did in the Navy and has an A.S. degree in- Electronics. She was there about a year, then the business closed. She was out of work for over a year. She finally got another job, we were starting to make headway on some of the past due debt... and I lose my job. So she is feeling the pressure. She's got to work to keep us off the streets. She's got child support to pay to her ex* and been ordered by the court to pay for medical insurance for said kids. She's got to pay for her Jeep and all of the fuel she's using, the insurance. I know the pressure, because I've had to do it when she wasn't working. One is now 19, lived with us the last 2 years of High School, went to an in-state college for a year, has dropped out and living on her own. Another spent a year and half with us before her dad decided that she would be better off with him than us- and he's the one who had his parents drive from NC to OK to drop her off in the first place. He's been receiving child support for all three of their kids this entire time. That's has been and is a strain. Sounds like you and your wife have both had a bit of a rough time and it isn't changing fast. But there also seems to be an issue with priorities on both sides as well and the two of you need to address that. Unless you both share the same objectives, priorities and believe in each other - things are gonna simply fall apart. If you drop me an address, I can send you tires, a couple Knog Skinks and bail out your bike if its just a tune-up. Thing is - that won't change a thing between you and your wife. I think thats entirely up to the two of you. |
Originally Posted by no1mad
(Post 13928504)
Damn, this has gone from a 'my SO doesn't understand my love of cycling' to a 'my life sucks' rant. Wonder how long before someone asks the Mods to move this party to Foo...
I guess this is a lesson learned for us all.... |
Originally Posted by Burton
(Post 13928513)
Sounds like you and your wife have both had a bit of a rough time and it isn't changing fast. But there also seems to be an issue with priorities on both sides as well and the two of you need to address that. Unless you both share the same objectives, priorities and believe in each other - things are gonna simply fall apart.
If you drop me an address, I can send you tires, a couple Knog Skinks and bail out your bike if its just a tune-up. Thing is - that won't change a thing between you and your wife. I think thats entirely up to the two of you. Again, thanks for the offer!:) |
Even people who are having financial difficulties are entitled to treats and to enjoy interests that are not solely about survival. Sheesh, let's not kill all the joy out of life. So they had a pizza? Or they don't see eye-to-eye about bike expenses. No1mad, I hope you get your bike soon so it'll help speed up your commute. And because it is fun.
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Originally Posted by no1mad
(Post 13928579)
That is a mighty generous and tempting offer, but I think I'll pass. My unemployment should be kicking in another week or so (hopefully) and we are expecting a small refund on our State taxes. I should be able to get the bike in the next couple of weeks. But I reserve the right to contact you about those lights (and any others you might be willing to part with) via PM once I get some money coming in.
Again, thanks for the offer!:) |
Originally Posted by no1mad
(Post 13928504)
Damn, this has gone from a 'my SO doesn't understand my love of cycling' to a 'my life sucks' rant.
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I read through this thread trying to see both sides of things. I wish the OP the best in getting through these tough times. It sounds like there are some deeply seeded relationship issues that go beyond cycling, and I doubt that many of us are qualified to offer any real advice on those. I had every intention of staying out of this until I read the following:
Originally Posted by cyclokitty
(Post 13928583)
Even people who are having financial difficulties are entitled to treats and to enjoy interests that are not solely about survival. Sheesh, let's not kill all the joy out of life. So they had a pizza? Or they don't see eye-to-eye about bike expenses. No1mad, I hope you get your bike soon so it'll help speed up your commute. And because it is fun.
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Priorities? Can't afford to live or pay the bike bill? Need to adjust the priorities. I'm with the SO on this one.
B |
Entitled? LOL! It's a bike ride. Even poor people in third world countries play sports, have dances, enjoy cultural activities and watch television. I don't think the OP meant his family was living in a cardboard box under a bridge and eating husks of stale bread foraged from park trash cans. Priorities? Enjoy your life, you only get one.
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Originally Posted by Digital_Cowboy
(Post 13926982)
Could you have ridden your bike to the LBS?
Did she share the pizza? Inquiring minds need to know |
i'm gonna agree with the wife, i think papa johns is better than dominos. i'm not saying i like either, but given the choice, i would go with papa johns.
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Actually I sometimes like that my SO isn't into cycling. I can go on long rides and be with just myself riding at my own pace.
My other thought on this entire subject is, this would have been the perfect time to learn to do your own tuneup and have ride able transportation, but that is hindsight. I would discuss your situation with the bike shop and discuss a way to get your bike to use as transportation. They may be willing to work out a payment plan. |
My wife is a little the same. We both work three jobs tho so see just see it as unneceddary expense spending on my bike since its basically brand new (2011 norco). Went to the auctions n went halfers (40 on an 80$ bid) on a slightly thrashed Trek 4700. He didn't have the cash n I'm waitin on a measly 40 bux. She wants to make a big deal of it but I'm not too worried. I got a deore rd, alivio shiftersn and tektro pulls, he kept the frame and front end (had a shot judy fork). Perhaps the other half just doesn't see the way I do n maybe I shoulda talked about spending more than I should have but it just doesn't always happen that way. The wonders of relationships and the effects money has on them.
I apologize if that ran on abit but figured I'd add in my two cents |
Originally Posted by Sixty Fiver
(Post 13928389)
Talk to the shop, explain the financial situation and bet they will be accommodating since times are tough all over.
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Update: Still broke and bikeless. But I do have a interview the next town over tomorrow. I know how much per hour I requested (filled out application online yesterday and got a call today) and how many hours they claim the position offers. With those two figures, the wife and I crunched some numbers. It would be tight, but doable- and that's with me riding my bike home 12-13 miles. With a bonafide job offer on the table, I'm sure we can scrape together the $ from family to get the bike from the LBS.
FWIW, that State tax refund we were counting on got held up. She pays child support to her ex in NC and was behind for a time, but has since paid off the back due. NC records indicate that she is current, but OK shows she owes over $3k. Naturally, she has asked for them to investigate and I have filed for Injured Spouse after the fact, but I know from experience my portion of our joint refund will take a while to process. And my unemployment has been approved, money on account, but currently have no way to access it. They did away with paper checks here in favor of Debit cards. They don't process the request for the card until after the first deposit is made to the account. |
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