EnigManiac

I am a super hero. I am a super hero who cannot control his powers, however. I know this to be true, because, at times, with no warning, I become entirely invisible. That's right: invisible! In spite of riding a bright yellow cruiser with big, wrap-around fenders and chrome bullet-light, people cannot see me. If it were only one or two, I might suspect it was their inattention, poor eyesight or malicious dislike of cyclists. But, since it is seemingly everyone who cannot see me, I must conclude it is me who is invisible. Don't get me wrong; it's not their fault: they step into the bike lane from between two parked cars and they look in my direction, but my big, bright bike, my big, bright light and my big, bright jacket have become transparent. Before I realize I have developed these awesome and formidable powers and consider whether I should use them for good or evil, I first ring my big, loud bell and guess what? It apparently is unable to be heard! Fortunately, I have mortal powers that merely hint at my super powers and I employ a series of maneuvres that are similar to a balloon flitting about the room when the air is rushing out of it and I avoid a collision. I continue my ride, wide-eyed and aware that while I may possess super powers, I am likely just as susceptible to death as I am when I am visible and, in fact, I am courting disaster by being so near to so many vehicles while completely unseen by the fine, attentive and respectful motorists who appreciate their privelege on the road. It is my invisibility I curse when they suddenly decide to turn right without signalling: well, my invisibility and the fact that the high-end automobile manufacturers like BMW, Mercedes Benz, Jaguar and Porsche, among others,fail to install signal indicators and functioning right-hand-side mirrors on their vehicles. I consider writing to the car companies to complain but fear my pen may contain invisible ink and they'll think some jerk caused the death of a tree just to send them a blank piece of paper. Finally, I arrive home, well aware I am still a super hero for my heart is beating faster than any other human's and I have safelty negotiated traffic that would have killed any average man. Now, does anyone have any idea what super-hero name I should give myself, whether I should use my powers to help those who can't help themselves or become a heinous villain. And finally, where do you buy a super-hero cape from?

Swiss Hoser

Nice writing. Really.
I enjoyed the read, once I re-punctuated and structured some paragraphs out of it.

mirona

I'll write the letter for you if you're afraid they might not see the invisible ink. I, too, have noticed that these cars are not equipped to signal or even view the world oustide their limo-tinted windows.

This might come in handy: https://search.ebay.com/superhero-cap...romZR8QQfsopZ1

trekcyclist1000

use your powers to get an invisible paintball gun...muahaha

SoonerBent

I seem to be invisible half the time in my Avalanche. But seriously, if you ever take a motorcycle safety course much of what they teach as rule number 1 is that you are invisible, and to assume drivers can't see you.

SS

genec

I call it Casper mode... The thing is you have to realize that you could be invisible at any time... so you just act accordingly.

Brings up an old joke:

Guy on a bike robs a bank.

Police come in and question then clerks and patrons and ask which way the robber went.

Folks answer: "don't know... he was on a bike."

SpiderMike

Just Sunday I was invisible to my Step Mother of all people. I let her pass, then I pulled up next to her. When finally noticed me she started yelling at me.. about how I could hit her truck. So when she slowed down I just went past her but I made sure to lightly hit my knucles on the bed of the truck, which made a loud thump... scared the crap out of her.

As for a cape, try a superhero surplus store.

webist

How about "Veloman?"

SpiderMike

Oh dang it I forgot... you need to see Edna Mode, and by the way she would suggest against a cape.

mirona

Hehe, is that from The Incredibles?

SpiderMike

Yeah... and instead of the cape getting stuck in a turbine engine, it would get caught in the rear wheel.

foehn

Nice job at the constructive critique.

Gigantic quasi-"stream of thought" paragraphs annoy me too.

EnigManiac

Thanks for the suggestions. As an English major and a semi-professional writer and editor, the post was technically accurate and in accordance with the properties of the English language. Paragraphs were unnecessary as the sentences remained inter-related and did not vary from the theme. I agree that in forum posts, the appearance is less appealing than in literary form. I wouldn't refer to my post as 'Giantic quasi-"stream of thought" as correct punctuation and grammar were employed and it was not excessive in length. However, with literary license being what it is today, there may be many effective techniques utilized to accurately express one's thoughts. I do appreciate your comments though. Sincerely.

EnigManiac

Only if it contained VISIBLE paint. Let them wonder where the heck the sploch of paint came from!

EnigManiac

Fortunately, I have always understood defensive riding with more than twenty-five years of riding and no accidents during the last twenty. Sigh. I'd like to banish all unnecessary motor vehicles, but then I'd write something scathing about too many idiot cyclists on the road.

foehn

My biggest fault when I read is that I am lazy. I see a big paragraph and am instantly irritated by it and take the easy way out--I don't read it. May be I have been burned by too many posts on boards that are "Giantic quasi-'stream of thought'" things that are run-together, mushed up trifles of irritation.

I reviewed your earlier post and YOU are right. "Giantic quasi-'stream of thought'" paragraphs do annoy me but your paragraph is not one of these. With your paragraph (the second time), I made myself slow down and actually read all of the words instead of trying to skim it. Much better, and I enjoyed it, but that lazy part of me was real irritated. I slapped it an' told it to shut up.

As for literary license--well, there's a lot of lazy trash out there hiding behind "literary license" and/or "it's art" labels. But as the saying goes "'To each their own!' said the lady who kissed the cow. . ."

I like to understand what people are trying to post. When I don't understand a post it is not always laziness on my part!

2manybikes

When you finally accept that all drivers most likely will drive right into you even if it seems like they are looking at you, you have reached acceptance. Anything else is dangerous, and a form of denial. The same thing happens on a motorcycle that is bigger, noisier, and has more lights. That's how I learned. It has made me a better car driver.

Excellent post. The powers of invisibility however come from anything with two wheels. As soon as you get off you become visible again.

EnigManiac

That is not good to hear. Feeling invincible with my Powers of Invisibility, I have been known to flip offending motorists the bird, infer that they have had intimate relations with various members of their family and assorted farm animals, invited them to kiss an area on my body I am parked on most of the day and challenged their masculinity. Alas, lately, along with my cloak of invisibility and my silenced bell, I have discovered my voice seems to be unheard above 8-million watt car stereos and revving motors. Whew!

2manybikes

I believe there must be some kind of a residual effect that lasts for a certain time period. This may cover you for a while. When I get back from a ride and want to have my kids listen to me, because I am too tired to argue, I am still invisible, and unhearable.

sbhikes

Didn't Spiderman make his own outfit?

I think you aren't invisible. Maybe you just go faster than they expect, or maybe everybody is daydreaming. Or maybe they figure you are relatively less traffic than a car so what the heck, let's just cross the street.

2manybikes

Are you saying the "Cloak of Invisibilty" in Harry Potter is not real ??