likebike23

I think parents are more involved in their kids lives now. When I grew up in the 70's, we went outside to play first thing in the morning from age 3 on. There was no effort on my parents part to get us involved in any sports or other activities. We just went out and looked for stuff to do. It went on like that our whole lives. We had to figure out things with little or no guidance, most of the time we were up to no good. This was typical for most kids. Was it fun? Sure it was.

I think our parents were married and had families too young because of pressure from family and society. I also felt the unhappiness my parents were feeling with being trapped in a situation that maybe they didn't want to be in. They stayed together until we were out of high school, basically phoning it in until then, and then divorced. In talking to many of my peers, this was not uncommon. Today, we marry and have kids later, when we want them. If you don't marry or have kids, that's fine too. The way I see it, today's parenting style is a reaction to many of our upbringings. The pendulum has swung.

Wilfred Laurier

when we vist my mother in law in the big city
there is a park across the street
and we let our two boys
7 and 10
go there whenever they feel like it
if we come over to see them while they are playing
other parents give us the dirtiest looks

in our small town they are allowed to roam freely
and i often kick them off the video game/tv/computer
with a direct order of
get the hell out of here
and out they go
i dont know where they go
but i am sure they are having fun

there are a few parents that live in our town
who wont let their kids walk four blocks to the library
i think they are representative of a large group
but for the most part there are lots of kids roaming the streets here

one other thought
if ever i mention in mixed company that we let our kids roam
and that i cant stand helicopter parents
everyone nobly nods in agreement
but i dont think half of them actually know that they are the ones i am talking about

memebag

This mirrors my experience. My dad was away at work all day. My mom wasn't a fan of kids and wanted us out of her house while she watched TV and ate pills. My parents weren't letting us "roam", they just didn't really want to be parents.

xtrajack

I was a free range kid. We lived in a small town rural area. We were sent outside to play in the morning, expected back for supper. We went fishing, swimming or socializing with our friends as we chose. We also had responsibilities (aka chores) as well. My parents also taught us that if we wanted something, we would have to figure out how we were going to get it, because no one was going to give it to us.

We were taught the rules of the road (walk facing traffic, ride with traffic, on the right) in school around 3rd grade, if memory serves. We rode our bikes everywhere we went, or we walked there.

My father did not like the sound of his voice, meaning that he did not like to repeat himself. If he was done talking, we were expected to be moving, doing whatever it was that he had told us to do. Don't even THINK about back talking.

I was shocked a gathering of my wife's family: A father said to one of the his kids (8 or 9 year old) "Why don't you go outside and play with the other kids?" The child responded, "I don't feel like it."
If my father had said that to me, I would have known that I was being told to go outside and play, not being asked why I wasn't outside playing.

treadtread

I grew up in a mid-sized city in India, and growing up, my parents never really knew where I was on holidays - I only made it back for lunch and dinner. Even if I go back to the same place, I wouldn't be able to let my son do the same - and the reason is the huge increase in the number of people, cars, scooters and motorbikes. Also, with the internet, a lot of people still work, answer email etc. after office hours. This adds to stress - and more road rage. I don't think my father ever worked from home - I do that regularly (and so does almost everyone I know). It really is less safe out there now, than when we were kids.

Keith99

Bolding mine.

This and there are far fewer places to go.

Anyone thinking it is more dangerous now sure did not grow up with any of my friends.

One place we would go was the back lot of treeland. Most of it was trees or other plants in containers. Anything from 5 gallon to 4x4x4 foot boxes. But right in the middle was a leftover form (I think) Rocketdyne. Not sure what any of it was for, but in one spot we found about 5 pounds of mercury. Yea, that dangerous stuff.

We played in trees and washes, not cut down or paved over.

We caught lizards and snakes, including 2 foot long iguanas that bit and once or twice rattlesnakes.

All the kids I grew up with grew up fine, save one. He was crippled sitting in the front seat of a car driven by one of his parents when a motorcycle crashed into them head on. Head trauma and half way to vegetable.

WillA

Parents are overprotective today. And people think the world is less safe than it used to be when the opposite is true. Crime is a fraction of what it was 40 years ago.

jon c. 

So many believe it is more dangerous for kids than it was in the 70s, but it simply isn't true. I'm sorry many of today's kids are missing out on the joys of youth. But they probably pity us growing up without cell phones and laptops.

Fastfingaz

You don't believe The 60's and 70's were a more innocent times Jon,,,,,,,,,,

Mobile 155

I think parents are simply more aware of crimes against children than they once were and that may have made them over cautious. That and a mistrust in our justice system may have bred a generation of Helicopter parents. Way back it 2006, it that is way back, I was in a small village in Kenya and I noticed children, some as young as 5, walking to school. This was taking place on a dirt road miles from the child's school. I asked the village elders how they coped with this. In the US there were people that liked to, for modesty reasons I said, hurt children. He replied they live in a small village and they pretty much know everyone in the area. Most likely they would "know" who took, grabbed or hurt the child. With the knowledge the elders would arrange for a meeting with the suspected offender some evening with at a special place in the Jungle. After the investigation and conversation I was assured the offence never happened again. And he smiled. We aren't as lucky with justice here.

Mobile 155

By the way if someone thinks things aren't as bad as they were years ago simply look up Megan's Law if you have one on you state. They even make an app for it for a smart phone, chances are you can hit a pedophiles house with a rock from your front yard.

Rowan

I can't help but think it's laziness on behalf of many parents. It's easier to put a kid in front of a computer, than it is to supervise (from afar and without a kid's knowledge) while they play outdoors.

Parents actually could have an amazing network of intelligence gathering going on. I know that my parents had neighbours indicate where I might be or what I might be doing.

Kids also aren't given boundaries any more. They aren't educated to identify when predatory behaviour is evident -- the "don't talk to strangers" rule. Rydabent's street light rule also is excellent.

achoo

Tell that to my middle-school classmate who took his dad's shotgun and massacred his entire family - in 1976.

We came to school the next day, exchanged "Did you hear what happened?" questions, then moved right into asking about homework and tests and making fun of each other - just like normal. No "grief counselors", no "OMG the world is ending!" reactions. We just kept living.

The local newspaper ran one two-paragraph story, buried on page 29 or so.

"More innocent" my ass. We just didn't obsess over things like that.

achoo

More information available now doesn't mean they didn't exist then.

BHOFM

I walked twelve miles to school, bare foot in the snow. Carried a rifle to shoot something on the way
home so we could eat. In the second grade it got rougher, had to get a after school job to buy
milk for my baby sister. Studied by candle light to get in a good college.

Astrozombie

Double edged sword, that also means the parents spend less time with their kids. I'm sure if you live in a burb they can roam just fine.
I wonder what the stats say about that, then and now
Esp. if you lived in NYC

Dudelsack

I think sandlot baseball has gone the way of the horse and buggy. I used to play it for hours as a kid.

I don't want to feed any trolls, but I think one of the posters must be intoxicated when he posts here. Geez.....

Dudelsack

Borrowed from the 41:

Standalone 

My 9 year old has his head totally in the clouds. We don't have TV and only just hooked a Wii up for weekend use out above the garage-- so it's not that. Kid just has his nose in a book. He's as tall as a seventh grader, but can't cross a street safely.

Were he different, I'd be ready to put him on the subway home from school. It's about developmental appropriateness. Our youngest is more aware of things. I think they will both be ready to head to the park and our nearby beach at the same time. I look forward to it.

I don't think that there are more crazies now than ever. (Lizzie Borden, anyone?) They do have better access to guns, though.

There ARE worse drivers now. I was born in '77, and did a lot of 30+ mile road rides as an 11 and 12 year old. Drivers now feel entitled and aggressive. I never saw any of that in '88-93 when I was a young rider.

Standalone 

I hitchhiked CT to ME and Boulder CO through Utah to Sun Valley ID in the late '90's. No crazies. All backroads. Great trips. Also did the northwest coast of France in October of that year. Wonderful way to travel: a backpack, tent, canned tuna and dried pasta meals, and a little granola. I was a free range kid from age 8 to age 20 for sure.

himespau 

When I was a kid (in the 80's), I ran around in the woods all day in the summer. Sometimes, I'd just go find a clearing and read for a couple hours or build a fort or climb trees or whatever. In summer, my sister and I would ride our bikes the 7-8 miles each way to tennis lessons if my mom was taking classes (she was a teacher going for her master's some summers). So, we had more freedom and places to go with that freedom.

Now I live in the suburbs with no nearby woods to ramble freely in. No nearby park or playground. If we want our daughter (almost 3) to go play in a park, we have to drive her there (and hope there are some other kids there rather than in front of the TV for her to play with). Since at least one of us has to drive her there, obviously, we have to be there watching (even if from a distance). For a 3 year old, that would be fine no matter what, but not what I'd think would be helpful to her independence as she gets older. Our neighbor has grandkids (whose parents we've never met), and when they come visit him, they come running over to our yard to play with our daughter. Their parents just let them and don't come over too, and either my wife or I will just sort of watch from a distance as they play together, and that's good.

Dudelsack

I have zero concern about my children or grandchildren being shot.

I worry about one of them being abducted and knifed or strangled.

Gun control would do absolutely nothing to change that.

Reducing access to pornography might, but it will never happen. Gun rights are negotiable, bot pornography rights are inviolate.

Mobile 155

No but not knowing allowed creditable deny-ability. Once people learned where the problems were they started restricting their kids based on that knowledge.

BHOFM

From the time I was six till I went in the army, I roamed all over town, and the surrounding country
side. Walked down town to the movie on Saturday afternoon. Explored caves. Old buildings. What ever.
On a good day I might see five or six cars. On a bad day, none. A town of nine hundred in the late 40's
and early 50's. Went in the army in 1962. At ten I was squirrel hunting by my self.
I grew up fishing, hunting, camping. Not in a $$$$$$ thing, in a tarp over a limb and an old black
skillet and blue coffee pot. And a Dad that taught me what I needed to get through life.
I had my pilots license at 14. And signed up in the army at 15! Went to basic at 17. Sargent at
18, 21 days before my 18th birthday.

My Dad was my mentor. That is what is missing today! A hand to guide you through life without
pushing you through life.

My Dad. The greatest Dad in the world. My stepdad, my mentor, my buddy, my best friend
1921/2011

Standalone 

# of people I personally know or have known who have been shot or injured in a gun accident: 2
# strangled: 0
# stabbed: 0
# abducted: 0

FWIW.

Probably crossing into P-n-R, so I might as well add that my church kicks more ass than yours does.

And speaking of the offerings of the internet, we do not have a TV and my kids do not have access to the internet. It's funny that I don't let them roam there "freely..."