Red Baron

May not mean much to you warm climate folks, but its finally spring here. Got to 69 degrees and bugs were swarming! A good reminder to keep your mouth shut!

iamlucky13

Bugs, yummy.

I was eating lunch today with some classmates, and one was eating his salad when he saw a potato bug crawling around on his croutons! Oh the joys of eating in the commons. You never know what you're going to get.

I told him I'd eat it for $20.

cyccommute 

As the sun was dipping towards its night's slumber, the mayflies were just emerging for their underwater suits. As their lacy wings dried they started to take to the air, the lovely females wearing the color that was all the rage this year while the boys stood around joking nervously. Soon they were moving in complex patterns in the air currents as they performed their mating rituals at the Mayfly Cotillion. There were some that had painted their wings black and their antennae and tails in day glow colors. These stood off to the side, smoked little bug-sized cigarettes and wouldn't participate in the dance but, eventual, even they started to be caught up in the biological imperative to reproduce. Soon all the mayflies were rising and falling in the currents of the air with wild abandon, soon to mate and produce the next generation of mayflies.

Suddenly, out of the gathering gloom, a ominous object approached with astounding speed. The mayflies, caught up in the ritual of mating, didn't notice the approaching disaster. Suddenly the cyclist was upon them! Hundreds were smashed as their delicate bodies crashed into the chest and arms of the speeding velocipedist. A more terrible fate awaited a few of the highest dancers as they were sucked into the terrible maw. A few impacted the tongue but the king and queen of the ball were sweep all the way into the windpipe never to be seen again.

"Cough! Cough! Gasp!" " Damned bugs!" All the rest of the way home I coughed and hacked and tried to dislodge what I thought must be a million bugs in my throat. I'm sure most of them went right on down but they still felt like they were lodged just at the back of my tongue. Gallons of water won't get rid of that feeling!

Even though I don't live in a very buggy state, I have come to be something of a connoisseur of insect life, albeit reluctantly. Most of the bike trails here tend to follow the river drainages and, since water
is a great place to raise flying bugs, they tend to have a lot of bugs flying over them. Flying ants have a sharp sour taste. The little black no-seeums (which I have eaten in the largest number but lowest total mass) are really plain but that may be because they are so small. Beetles have a satisfying crunch but are kind of bitter. Mosquitoes, on the other hand, taste a bit like chicken but, then, doesn't everything? Caddis flies have a very fishy taste and a little dusty. And, finally, mayflies have very little flavor (a little like chicken, of course) but those little crowns really hurt on the way down!

eubi

If all the insects we cyclists ingested over the years were placed on a plate...no one would win Fear Factor!

TomM

This week I started to ride with a helmet mounted light. I swear that light attracts every bug around. I've never had so many bug strikes in my life.

Shifty

Spring is here! Spring is here!

cyccommute 

I've often thought the next step in human evolution would be a kind of cyclist/filter feeder. Like baleen whales with wheels. We could roam the world following the great hatches of insects, never stopping, just riding forever

reich17

So, let's say you get a bug in your mouth, do you spit or swallow? If it's a small one I go ahead and swallow it. Of course there are the ones that fly straight down your throat and you have no choice.

cyccommute 

Depends on how "crawly" they are. Some of 'em have to be chewed first

Shifty

Spit or swallow, that is an ages old dilemma. I spit when I can, swallow if I must, but hate it when the thing gets stuck in the middle.

jeff-o

Heh, spit or swallow, indeed an age-old conundrum. Of course, some folks try to only get hit on the hand or chest....

slooney

Stuart-
Great post. But...

Actually, since fish in Colorado widely feed upon caddis and May flies, I think maybe fish taste like caddis and May flies, rather than the other way around.

Steve

cyccommute 

Chicken? Egg? Or in this case, caddis? Trout?

slooney

Chicken v. egg- Only if caddis feed on trout?

eubi

Great idea! I'll just let my moustache grow a little longer!

* jack *

Dang. I got a few Drosophila melanogaster in the old pie-hole this afternoon.

spang621

got one in the eye today. made me think it might be a good idea to carry a mirror around for eye object extraction and cleaning if away from civilization.

DieselDan

I read this post last night, planning on a ride today, and I swallowed a bug!

bandaidman

lots of little midges out now...ate a nasty tasting bug yesterday going up a hill...first time i have done that in a while...it broke my cadence to say the least

Jonny B

I got one yesterday too. Admitedly I was running not riding, but it was still nasty.

Metro

My favorite is getting a bee/hornet caught in a helmet air vent. Makes you glad you wore a cycling cap underneath. I usually wind up stopping the make sure the angry bee is not buzzing around in there waiting to sting me in the scalp. Youch!!!!

ollo_ollo

None ingested so far this year but several ended up on the inside of my sunglasses. Very distracting as they stroll around looking for the exit. Lots of small bug splatter on my jersey, glasses & helmet too.

phidauex

I love your description of the terrible slaughter.

Last year when I ate my first bug of the season (which is funny, because I'm a vegetarian), a friend of mine made up a grandiose story about bugs sacrificing each other in a great religious festival. The priests select a bug to be sacrificed, and then they move out to the bike lane to await the great rolling god. At the last second, they push the doomed bug forward into the path of the cyclist, and right into its mouth.

The cyclist/filter feeder idea is oddly amusing... and a little disturbing.

peace,
sam

cyccommute 

Me and bugs have a long history. Here's something I wrote a while back

Near Council Bluff's Iowa

When a male grasshopper’s fancy turns to love, he finds a suitable mate, preferable a young large female and he starts to work his magic. First there is romance and music. He attracts her by taking her to the best corn plants. Only the most tender of leaves will do for his special lady. He woos her with corn kernels that are bigger than her head. He caresses her and rubs his legs together to make that special sound she loves so much. Once she is swooning and is his forever, he invites her to go with him to the blacktop, for there it warmest and his lady will be most receptive to his charms. She is his and he may do what he pleases with her.

“Come my special lady, let’s make love right here on the road, in the heat of the day with the rising sun bearing down on us.”, he says.

“Oh, yes! Please take me now! I’m all yours! But, dear, isn’t the sun yellow?”, she says.

“Why, yes it is my sweet. As yellow as the corn. As yellow as a sunflower. As yellow as your tender belly.”

“But dear, if the sun is yellow, why does it have a black stripe on it?”

“What black stripe?”, he says as he kisses her neck.

“That black stripe that is getting bigger all the time. And there seems to be this odd ominous sound coming from it.” she notes.

Just then he looks up and notices that the stripe is getting bigger and the sound in maniacal laughter just as the bicycle squishes both of them.

“Cool. A twofer. I love those because they can’t get away as easily. I just love the sound of grasshoppers squishing under my wheels.”, I said. Hey, it’s Iowa, you can’t see anything over the corn and there is no one to talk to. What else are you going to do?