Corben

All I have is two rideable road bikes...
And a couple of projects hanging in the garage that technically are bikes. Not "crap"!
And a few rescued bikes that may come in handy for a cable or a bolt or something.
And god forbid if I want to go for a ride once in awhile.
And I don't really consider commuting to work "going for a ride." I have have a deadline. I can't stop and smell the roses. Know what I mean?
Not looking for sympathy or advice. Just *****ing.

Jed19

Sometimes we men have to be reasonable. I once sold a saddle to a serious roadie who kvetched seriously that his wife won't let him hang an old Italian frame as art in their living room!

Leebo

Umm, Get new wife? I have 9 bikes, just need 1 more. Does your wife exercise? Maybe she needs a bike? It was harder when the kids were smaller. Space for her stuff in the garage? Keep it neat. My wife has a whole cabinet/shelf for the gardening thing. Get a storage shed?

Still Pedaling

Women are like that. They expect us to understand them, but not the other way around. Have a lay of the land around the close closets and note how many clothes you have compared to hers. Notice I said clothes closets and not closet. In my case, one entire closet is full of my wife's clothes and in the other, I would say close to 3/4 is hers as well. I'm quite confident in assuming that your situation might be the same or similar to mine. The next time she calls your bikes an obsession, you can throw the clothes issue right back at her. I'm not suggesting that you get into an argument by any means, but she has to get the point to simply back off and let you enjoy your hobby as long as you both prioritize time with each other. Theirs an old saying, "He who fights with wife all day will no piece at night".

"Women, you can't live with them and you can't live without them". And in some cases it's "Women, you can't live with them and you can't shoot them".

Good luck!

Marcus_Ti

If you understand, things are just as they are.

























If you do not understand, things are just as they are.

unabowler

My problem is not that my wife doesn't understand me, the problem is that she DOES. I haven't gone too far with N+1 bikes but when I was playing guitar I got "GAS" (Guitar Acquisition Syndrome) and accumulated plenty.

Rowan

Just point out that you will give up the bikes and go down to the local pub every second night for a carousing good time, spend a bit on the ponies, chase a bit of skirt, drive the howling V8 Chevy home, tear down the motor and rebuild it with new parts and whack 200 lbs in bodyweight on yourself... plus sit on the couch and channel surf the sports the rest of the time.

That way, you will accelerate your death through serious medical issues, and she can inherit all you own (which won't be much by this time), and she can go searching as a cougar for a new husband.

OR

She can let things be, have you around for decades longer, be proud of you as a fit person, and a good provider who at least has a job to go to by bicycle.

Marcus_Ti

Proper response.

Be noticed staring at The Wife's shoe collection. Turn and look her dead in the eye and ask in seriousness, "How many pairs of feet do you have?"

linnefaulk

You need to find her obsession. Shoes, handbags? She may not understand the bikes but she probably understands collecting.

Berta

ST_U and take your vitriol to a boys-only place that no doubt would make you feel more at home. And next time, choose your mate based on something other than (a) she's not a man and (b) she can tolerate you. You might gain a better attitude, but no promises since you seem to live by old sayings (any of them originally yours?).

My interests have never been a bone of contention with a partner (and I won't say what I've spent on bikes, fountain pens and watches ), nor his to me, thank goodness, but I feel for anybody who feels restricted by their spouse/GF/BF this way unless it's a case of depleting shared savings or the obsessed is all of a sudden never around.

Still Pedaling

I don't have the problem that the OP has. But anyone that does, has to deal with the issue. If my wife gave me that nonsense, then she will hear about it. As a woman, would you do anything different?

Berta

No. I'm afraid I'd get shot.

Mark Stone

Age is the solution. Stick to your guns and keep riding. What happened to me is I entered my 60s in extraordinary health, while other family members and peers around my age are fighting chronic disease and immobility. My wife is clear that the bike, and 40+ years aboard it, are the reason I am not a big medical burden to the family. When we first got married, she called it "Bike Crap" - Now she suggests to everyone else in the family, and all her friends, that they should take up cycling, using me as an example. Wives (and husbands lol) come around eventually.

headloss 

It's not for her to understand, but appreciate that it makes you happy.

I was married for six years. I also had a four year live-in relationship. Ground rules were roughly the same for both: no grease stains, kitchen and living rooms don't feel like a garage.

Oddly, the "organized" pile of stuff on my desk bothered the wife more than the bikes. *shrugs*

Cyclosaurus

I know that the more my wife feels like I'm paying attention to her and treating her like she's important and loved, the more she wants me to enjoy the things I like. Not saying the OP is necessarily in this situation, but I think it's a common enough problem that wives feel like their husbands love their car/bikes/model trains/stamp collection/guitar/other obsession more then them. That's bound to cause resentment and hostility regarding that thing.

Fastfingaz

The whole problem can be solved by simply getting a bigger house,,, that way you can space the bikes and frames out more and it won't look like a lot, that way you can keep the wife and the bikes ,,,remember, everything has a solution,,, if she won't go for the bigger house, get rid of her! there, no more problem........

Sixty Fiver

My wife is an enabler... that... and it helps pay the bills.

Rowan

Does your wife return your love and affection? Or is it a one-way street?

Corben

It is what it is.
my wife cannot do much of anything due to chronic crippling pain. Fibromyalgia, arthritis, depression, low pain tolerance, over medicated IMHO. From a cane to a walker...a borrowed electric wheelchair...because of her medication her AA pals have abandoned her. Not that she can go to a meeting anyway.
The AA days were great. She'd go to meetings everyday and out of town conventions. Man I could go on eight hr long rides back then. Good times!
Now Im a caregiver, cook, housekeeper and a full time grocery store clerk. She tries to do house things but it really hurts her to and I hear about it. As a matter of fact it's her obsession. Her pain. I feel so sorry for her and at the same time I'm really burned out on the subject too. Three kids who all agreed I should be able to get away for a day once in awhile but no offers of help.
So I sneak out th the garage and dink around with a bike. Adjust something....clean a stem...check the air. It really helps me relax. I'd come in a half hour later and sure enough I hear, "out with the bikes again, huh"...
"you got time for your bikes/ride but not me.."........or "aren't you gonna do any house work?" Her idea of fun is watching blurea movies in bed for hours with me next to her, which I understand but it's kinda a drag for a healthy guy. And how rude to surf the iPad at the same time. ( yes, about cycling ) Again....
It is what it is.

TheBoogly

So Corben, you do everything, she does nothing and then she complains when you go out for a ride as if you're taking too much time for yourself?

Berta

You are obviously very devoted, but that's quite a heavy load of responsibility! There are all kinds of reasons why you need to be able to do what you love, like keeping your sanity and physical health intact, especially under that amount of stress. No offense to her, because it's understandable with all the medical issues, but it sounds like your wife has kind of given up. And not to play therapist too much, but she seems to resent that you need some time away from her. That's no excuse for her to expect you or anyone else close to her to be miserable as well. Be careful that you don't get ground down by taking on all of this by yourself.

Jim from Boston

For our courtship, honeymoon, and first decade of marriage cycle touring was a major activity, including a cross country honeymoon cycle tour. We stopped cycling together many years ago, while I still commute and do weekend long rides. She attended to me really well during my six weeks in a hospital and three month recovery from a cycling accident two years ago, and still tolerates my riding.

No complaints other than the space issues as above. But when I ride, or suggest riding in really bad weather she retorts, “You just want to do that to write about it in Bike Forums.” Anyways, after cycling together stopped, ballroom dancing became our weekly fun activity.

PS: I wrote this before reading Corben's post above, but "it is what it is."

Nermal

Now, that's a happy story, Jim.

Jim from Boston

From "If You Want to Be Happy (For the Rest of Your Life)" by Jimmy Soul:

"If you wanna be happy
"For the rest of your life,
"Never make a pretty [only] woman your wife,
"So from my personal point of view,
"Get [strike]an ugly[/strike] a cycling girl to marry you."

Igualmente

Sounds like a lot of demands on your time and energy, Corben. And I agree, mostly "it is what it is"... but... I hope you find some space in the "what it is" for your own interests. Sometimes we can't change most of what we have to do, but I think you deserve to carve out a space in "what it is" for your interests.

And I hate that people label other's interests and hobbies an "obsession". A few hours a week on a hobby/sport/interest (while handling our other responsibilities) does not automatically an obsession make. Obsessions, to me, are all-consuming, and anyone who lives a life that only includes cycling for a few hours a week is not obsessed. They have an interest, a passion, a sport, a hobby... whatever... and that is a good thing.