Do Bugs Aim at your Mouth
 

What do you think?

I hate when they get stuck in my ****ing throat!!!

On a good day, no. On a bad day, yes.

Have you ever looked back while riding and seen all the little stinkers drafting off of you??? When I see that I get mad and drop the hammer, I know they will never pull, so why bother?

I think they get sucked in...like pigeons into a jet engine.

Then why are the little rotters always bouncing off my lips when my mouth is closed?

I once had a giant wasp sting me on the side of my nose. My left nasal passage was swollen shut for a couple of days. It's one of the weirdest things which has ever happened to me while cycling.

For you guys who believe that bugs don't consciously aim I offer this true story.

Once while riding a motorcycle I passed under a tree that had branches overhanging the road. Shortly afterwards I felt quite abit of pain from my posterior. The pain grew worse and in a near panic that almost resulted in a locked up front brake I pulled off the road and dropped my drawers and upon running my hands over my butt I knocked several large ants off. Unfortunately, not before they put enough welts on my behind to impress my father, if he had been around to see.

I had been riding for probably an hour when this happened so I doubt they'd been hiding in my 501s all that time and just then either got mad or hungry. They must have come from the overhanging branches I had passed under.

This happened at least 10 years ago and I still wonder how those bugs timed that jump. I have no doubts that they will evolve past us someday.

:beer:

My aunt was cycling in Calgary recently and was stung on the tongue by a bee. A bit of a scary situation it was because she'd never been stung before and nobody knew if her tongue would swell and choke her.

I've had huge bugs ricochet off my sunglasses when going about 17 - 20mph. You hear and feel them hit...the only thing i could say is "good thing i got the glasses on",....

As long as they fly in my mouth i can care less...when you get em in your eyes its a major pain in the ass.

Gross, true bug story...

I had a bug in my eye once and it didn't happen on the bike. I was about to walk into a Borders' Bookstore when i literally ran into a bug -- or rather, it flew directly into my eye. At first I wasn't sure why my eye was burning -- didn't realize it was because of a bug. I wear contacts and thought the contact lense was just being goofy. Eventually, the burning subsided. I thought nothing of it.

A couple hours later, when I was at home taking out the contacts, I found a little black (dead) bug in my eye (narrow, oval shaped bug, about 1/8" long). Bleah!

I ALWAYS wear sunglasses when I ride.

Had a Dragonfly in my helmet yesterday. Not exactly traumatic, but it sure is a weird feeling. At first I just thought a leaf had fallen in my helmet and would move when the wind caught it just right. Then the leaf became a little more frantic. :)

I have a riding buddy that is an entymologist. He says that bugs have a unique property included in many of their genes (DNA). Saliva Propelling Invading Trait and Homing Device is the official term, or SPIT Homing Device. Most bugs not only aim for the mouth, but they are helpless to avoid the impending death. Some of the higher developed species will try and fight the urge, but most cannot help alter their flight path. Some can be heard to scream just before entering the "mouth of doom" which is similar to an early warning device. So, if you hear tiny, terrified scream directly in front of you, turn your head immediately.
In the long run, I have (at a nominal fee to you) devised a anti-SPIT Homing Device that will thwart the little buggers. These are on sale for $24.95 (US) and for a limited time only I will throw in a set of carbon steak knives.
E-mail me at http://www.imafool.com

Riding in a tight pace line, making about 23 mph the other day, I had a bug hit me in the face. It landed just beneath my lower lip and proceeded to crawl into my mouth! I'm not sure what this proves, but for some reason insects seem to like the warm wet caverns of cyclists' mouths.

I have gotten the little sh^#s in my eye WITH my sunglasses on. Maybe I should get some goggles.

Haha, so you didn't wipe it away immediately? I can picture the scary scenario in slow motion. :D