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Old 03-15-14, 07:00 PM   #1
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Things we learned from the movies. (Longish..)

Man, if it were not for the movies, most of us would not know anything.

1. Colliding cars always burst into flames.
2. All Telephone numbers begin with 555
3. A man shows no pain when being beaten badly by bad guys, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
4. During every police investigation, is it necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
5. When foreigners are by themselves, they speak to each other in English.
6. If you are chased through the city, you can always disappear into a St. Patrick's day Parade, at any time of the year.
7. The police chief will always suspend his star detective, or give him 48 hours to solve the case.
8. Every shopping bag contains at least one long french baguette. This may be used as a weapon.
9. Everyone is able to land an aircraft when orally instructed by someone.
10. The ventilation system is a perfect hideout. No one will ever think to look there, and you can easily reach all other parts
of the building without being heard.
11. Every police officer must take a psychometric test. This is to make sure his partner is his exact opposite.
12. In Paris, you can see the Eiffel tower from any window.
13. All bombs have an electronic fuse with a huge red digital display, so everyone knows when it going to go off.
14. You will win every gunfight, even though you are alone, and face ten enemies who are all very poor shots.
15. If your hometown is facing an imminent natural disaster, or is being threatened by some huge monster,
local government will only be concerned about tourism.
16. If a woman is alone in a haunted house, she will check out strange noises in the middle of the night in her
sexiest, most revealing underwear. (Hey, there's nothing wrong with this!)
17. Mothers always make Bacon and Eggs for breakfast, even if no one has time to eat it.
18. A single match is enough to light up an entire room.
19. People of Medieval times always had perfect teeth.
20. Everyone who wakes up from a nightmare will always sit straight up, and be panting and sweating.
21. It is always possible to park right in front of a busy downtown office building, at any time.
22. If someone is knocked unconscious from being hit on the head, he will never suffer a concussion or skull fracture.
23. Even while driving on a straight road, with no traffic, it is absolutely necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left
to right.
24. Even if you experience a car chase, volcanic eruption, lethal virus outbreak, or horrible natural disaster,
you won't break down.
25. A blonde woman with great legs, wearing a very short skirt and high heels, will easily survive the end of the world, no problem.
26. There is always a chain saw around when you need one.
27. You really should listen to the creepy gas station guy, when he warns you not to go near that area.
28. If you buy an old house in a very small town in Massachusetts, and the very old woman from across the street
tries to warn you about the house, it is a good idea to listen to her.
29. In any kind of car chase, you can easily trick your pursuers into driving off a cliff.
30. A plain looking woman will always turn stunningly gorgeous, when she rises from the dead as a Vampire.
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