Getting girls?
 

I've been car free for a few years now and in all that time I've had no luck with any ladies at all. It just seems they aren't as excited about that fact that I don't own a car, and don't want to own a car, as I am. Unfortunatly cars have become a symbol of success, dependability, and status in America and that's something that I can't stop obviously. My question is, how do you go about getting chicks, going on dates, and all that stuff with a bike? I can see it now..

"You can ride handlebars if you want".

I've been talking with this girl lately and she hears me talk about my bike quite a bit. The other night she suddenly realized that I didn't mean a motor cycle. Since then the fact that I use a bike for all my transportation has become quite the topic and I can't tell if it's a negative or positive thing. Usually it's negative.

I explained that I use it for all transportation, and that I spend a great deal (if not all) of my free time riding for fun, exercise, and training. She said "oh cool" but didn't sound quite like she meant it.. I'm really torn on how I should approach such things and it's really caused some problems in my "social life".

Any tips would be appreciated.

Well, if you talk about women and openly refer to them as "chicks" and "girls", then you're really in denial if you think it's about the fact that you ride a bike- terms like that are just plain disrespectful.

Koffee

How about renting a car for a day or two, is that available? Does the lady have a car? Why does the guy always have to drive? If driving means operating a team of horses pulling a carriage, that might be different!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that enviromental protection and concern about global warming, suburban sprawl etc. seems to be, as my wife would put it, a "guy" thing (for the most part).

I have dated before without a car. If the lady really likes you, she lets you drive her car!

This is a tough one, but not impossible. My experience has been, if they like you, not having a car seems odd (cultural conditioning is hard to overcome), but not a deal-breaker. They'll still hang out with you if you have something else to offer. If they balk because you don't have a car, it's probably a time-saver for you. Like "Lauren" (zoom) said, some girls don't like boys; they like cars and money. Stay away from those girls. They're a waste of time, and not worth worrying about. Stick to women who like you, not your possessions.

How about getting a tandem... or even an Xtracycle with Footsies?

This is where a small 50cc moped comes in handy.

If a woman likes you, she likes you. And vice versa. Yeah, there can be all sorts of reasons for that. You can meet someone who on paper is a fantastic match for you, and no sparks happen at all. You get on really well, you just don't want to go to bed with them. Or you can meet someone who has very different interests, and wham, that's it.

Get over using the lack of car as an excuse. All of you. Just go and meet more people. And in the meantime, enjoy being single. It has its good points.

Oh, and try not to smell bad... That normally helps.

The "joy" of being single is starting to wear of after like 5 years or something like that. And no it's not just the car thing that has done that. I went for the whole "I like being single" thing at first and enjoyed it. Now I'm getting to a point where I want to move on and I just see the bike thing getting in the way to often. Some of you had a very valid point about how if she likes me the bike won't matter. Unfortunatly some of the girls where it may matter at first I think can easily get over it if they would try. Problem is they don't want to try. I think this said girl I was speaking of is actually looking at this as a positive thing. I over heard her talking about when she was Car Free (not her words exactly) to another ladie we work with this morning so this could end up being a good thing. Now just to get past the akwardness of not having asked a girl out for many years..

Thanks all.

I'd get a tandem or extracycle like on poster said, and then keep biking. When you see a single girl biking as well. Ask her out. Do what you like to do and then look around you. The woman of your dreams could be riding up along side of you.

Not to be an ass, but how can you expect to have any luck with the ladies if you haven't asked any out in several years? With or Sans Auto?

Anyway, without a doubt, it is much easier to get laid driving around in a new BMW and taking ladies out to the hottest club. However, if you are talking about meeting someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and someone who may even share your lifestyle with you, I would stick with what you are doing, and just try to ask the ladies out more than once every two to three years.

Yeah I know doing nothing definately hasn't helped. I'm just now getting back in to the idea of trying again so it's going to be akward as I said. just "getting laid" isn't my focus at all, I could care less (everyone going "yeah right!" about now). Hopefully things work out and I will eventually have myself a riding partner ;-)

tks for all the replies.

When I was your age, I lived in Minneapolis and I drove a very crappy car that looked like it lost a demolition derby-- I paid a dollar for it after it had been "totalled" after hitting a deer. It was 15 years old... it was a car. It was paid for. It was reliable... but it was no chick magnet.

Still-- I had no car payment. No real debt other than student loans.

I ended up buying a motorcycle-- which proved to be a great investment for "attracting females." Granted, it attracted a certain "type" who weren't, shall we say "marriage minded"- but it worked for me.

Now... I own a BMW 5-series... live in Europe... make more money than I dreamed of when I was in my 20s... and bike to work. Anyone that ignored me for what they thought my crappy car stood for back in the day, well, it is their loss... I wouldn't want to be with anyone that materialistic anyway.

I hated my 20s... being judged for where I lived, what I did for work, and what I drove. Life just keeps getting better and better.

Frankly, I think if you lived somewhere a little more urban, you could pull off the car-free thing a little better (from a social perspective). As an ex-Iowan myself, a car is pretty much seen as a necessity. I worked with an old codger who referred to car-free city kids as "urban Amish"--- they don't own cars and they dress all in black ;)

Hey now, that's not winners' talk! Even King Kong got himself a woman. So if he can do it, even a gorilla like you can too. :) Now turn that frown upside down! :D

Koffee

Get an Xtracycle, yo. Seriously. If I wasn't married I would have more femme attention than I could handle. It works like this. You ride to wherever, to get your bread and wine and veggies, and when you come out there's a nice woman walking her lapdog looking at your bike, trying to figure it out. You explain that this is how you go grocery shopping, that it's awesome and environmentally friendly and cool and how you do (interesting thing you do that you need your bike to get to or what have you). Then, you offer her a ride, and the dog can sit on her lap. Now, you take her home, and offer to do it again some time. Obtain number, follow through, pack for picnic, enjoy evening. Repeat until you find one you like, or until chased out of town by a pack of irate fathers, brothers and jilted ex-boyfriends...

If my luck holds out... you won't have a chance to grow up... ahahahahaha...

This has worked for me more than once. She will look at you like you're crazy but once she hops up on the bars the fun/danger aspect will kick in.

So how are things going with that girl?
Always get in the habit of saying bicycle so there are no misunderstandings. :)

Riding them side saddle on the top tube works for me. Where I learned to bike it was called "packing". The furthest I've ever hauled a girlfriend this way is about 5 miles. Its easier to carry on a conversation with her sitting right there in your arms. Her weight is more centered than if she were on the rear rack or handlebars. On my bike I have to jut my knees out when I pedal with a person sitting on the top tube so I'm usually going slowly.

Last winter I saw a man packing a woman on the top tube in the rain. She held a large umbrella keeping both of them dry while he pedaled.

I can't recall the last time I saw someone on the handlebars. It seems more dangerous unless you have those trick bike axel pegs.

When I visited the Netherlands it was more common for the passenger to sit side saddle on the rear rack. The Dutch bikes seem to have more substantial rear luggage racks than american bikes. A Vietnamese friend tells me that the rear rack carry was more common than the top tube carry when she was growing up during the American war. She said they used the top tube carry if the rear rack was broken or missing.

I'm not suggesting these techniques for a first date or regular transportation option but they do work. Some girls think I'm joking when I suggest packing them to give them a lift home but of the ones who have ridden with me they say its fun and laugh a lot.

I agree, but the ladies like the nice vintage BMW's alot too!

But back on topic, if she dont like you because you dont have a car, she dosent truely like you. If she does, she would look past that.

true, not having a car filters out a lot of women. not as many as a receding hairline :), but a lot. you gotta live your life, buying a car is a pretty big compromise just to *possibly* make yourself attractive to women, what's next?

rather than trying to offset the things that some women might not like, accentuate the things they do. i recently joined a band, and grew a sweet red beard (not so much up top anymore, and i'm only 24!). not all women are into it, but it's something to like for those who are.

by no means could i call myself successful with women, but i have my moments, and i like to feel that i've got something to offer. there's no one characteristic that "women" all want, you just gotta find the one who's buying what you're selling. good luck dude.

Plan things in advance and rent a car. For the money I save spenting $55 to have a car for the weekend is not a problem.

Or take cabs, which is smarter if going out on the town anyway.

If you live in the big city, taking a cab is the best thing to do.
Last weekend my gf and I went out to do some shopping and wanted to go eat somewhere that was about a mile away.
Riding a bicycle there was out of the question, it was simply too hot and we didn't want to carry our bags.
The subway would've taken a transfer and about 30 minutes.
Walking would've been about 30 minutes too.
Took us 5 minutes to hail a cab and 5 minutes to get there, total cost, 6 bucks.

Plus it looks because you're willing to spend money on a cab and you two get each other's full attention since someone else is driving. Plus you can get totally wasted and still go home.

If a person is digging your pocketbook more than you, go check out the other fish in the sea.

Seriously, owning a car doesn't mean jack.

I am car-free for the most part...when I need a car, I rent. It works out better that way.

I'm far from being a broke-ass, but I just don't see the point in paying recurring fees for smething I might use 3-4 times a year. It's just poor financial sense. I would spend 4 times what the rental fees are on insurance alone....then add in registration, and all that junk...it's just ******** to spend that kind of cash for all the times I would use it.