c3hamby

How do ya do it?

I am not car-less, and I am a musican at a church about an hour from where I live, so there are some logistics that would not let me go completely carless

I would like to convert to 90% cycling.

How do you guys date in such a situation?

This question is more directed at single people but it would be interesting to hear how married people do it, too.

sauerwald

I (we) have a tandem. No better way to figure out if you are compatible.

Cosmoline

To me, one of the biggest benefits of being car free is that it completely neutralizes any attempt to set me up with anyone. In the US not having a car is a get out of dates free card. So is losing your hair, so I've got that too.

travelmama

Do a search for this very topic. I am sure you will get a lot of good tips.

twobadfish

That's not only limiting your options. But basically destroying your chances.

"Pick you up around 8?"

"Yeah sounds great"

*shows up on a tandem*

Haha... it's definitely a desirable scenario. But that just limits dating in so many ways. Weather, distance, time, etc... I don't know. Call me super crazy or super normal, but I can't see functioning in today's society normally without a vehicle. Unless you live in a city where cars are non-productive, like NYC.

buelito

"It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford a carriage...
but you'll look sweet,
upon the seat
of a BICYCLE built for 2!"

The lyrics are for a little 'further along' than dating, but that was written over 100 years ago and it still applies.

train safe

electrik

OP, search is your friend... there was a long list of tips.

twobadfish

If all anyone around here did was search for stuff and never participated in conversations, there would be no forum.

Just sayin'

electrik

Nobody is trying to stop you from putting your two cents in... so feel free.

twobadfish

I know... well it was in response to the "search stuff" replies. It's too common around here.

swwhite

Depending on the activity of your social life, if you used the car for dating and the bike for everything else (within reason), you might have hit your 90% goal. I would go ahead and use the car for dating to make a good first impression, not bother to mention the concept of being 90% car-free, and just use the bike like it's a normal transportation choice and not even worth discussing. If anyone asks why you use a bike so much, just say it's a logical choice over the car for the given situation.

twobadfish

Yeah sometimes it's best to introduce your crazy to the opposite sex in small doses.

johnr783

I agree with SWWHITE.

What you can do is make plans so that you two meet at the place you are going so you dont have to pick her up. This would really only work for casual dates though. Bigger dates, it would probably be best if you picked her up in your car.

bragi

I have never noticed any difference in dating car-free vs. dating with a car. If they like you, they won't care if you don't have a car. If they don't like you, a car won't help. If liking you is contingent on you owning a nice car, they don't actually like you, they like what you can do for them, which makes them not such a great catch.

fotooutdoors

How it all works is dependent on where you and your date live. I'm in a city, so it is easy for my wife and I to go on dates without a car. She isn't a year-round biker, so we will usually walk or ride the bus this time of year (unless we are going out of town, then sometimes we use our car). The other 3 seasons, we will often bike places. Sometimes the ride is the date (weekend bike trips).

Don't use the car to impress (because, from what I read, the car isn't part of who you are); use it because it might be the best tool for the job. Personally, I find that rarely happens for me in my personal life (work is a different story); short distances are not hugely different in time, and riding just makes me a happier person.

c3hamby

Thanks for the helpful info!

As for 'search function', I see that there are many returns for dating without bike, but many, many more for 'use the search function'.

I think someday I'm going to create a discussion board called 'Search Function'. Everybody's handle will be be searchfunction1, searchfunction2, etc as to the order they signed up. You can type anything you like, but the only phrase that will ever post in thread titles, text, IMs and replies, etc would be the default setting "Use The Search Function". No matter what one types, that is what will show up. The intended text will not even appear.

Steely Dan

i don't own a car, but when i find that use of an automobile is helpful for dating and social life purposes, i'm fortunate to live in a city with thousands and thousands of roaming cabs, and using cabs to get around is a very normal part of the culture here in chicago, especially because drinking and driving is so looked down upon these days, so picking up a date in cab and going out for dinner and late night drinks and then cabbing home is normal. we can both enjoy our adult beverages without the specter of a DUI hanging over either person's head.

BWWpat

I agree with this 100%. A connection has nothing to do with what you have, but who you are.

crazybikerchick

UM I must point out that to some women showing up in a car on a first date would make a BAD first impression!!

If your goal with dating is a long-term relationship, then you probably want to find someone that thinks like minded to you. Particularly if its summer time and nice weather and you know she has a bicycle you could suggest either meeting at your destination or picking her up to go there by bicycle. Pick a fairly close destination though, don't take her on a too-crazy ride the first time unless you are trying to weed them out.

(I did that once on a first date, figured going for a nice easy 40 km bike ride was a good way to weed out the pretenders, and yes he was a pretender, he wanted to put the bike back in his car to drive to dinner afterwards.)

Newspaperguy

People who know me will also know I prefer walking or cycling to driving, so that also carries on in dating. My preference would be to walk or bike to my date's place and from there walk or bike to wherever we're going. If it's an out-of-town event, then the car is called into service.

The last woman I dated didn't even see my car for the first month or two. She was car-free and enjoyed walking, so there was no problem there.

Artkansas 

Well, either she has a car and she drives. (I often offer to pay for gas, or pay for meals.)
or she doesn't and there is no problem.

The only problems I have found are the mental blocks she may have. If she can't resolve them then let her go.

Ekdog

corkscrew

I actually own two cars, but find this applies.

Frankly, why would you want to date? I've found it only gets in the way of being able to do what I want. Which is work on and buy parts for my bicycles.

Roody

Ok, you're super crazy.

ro-monster

I thought the whole "pick up your date at home and drive to destination" thing fell out of fashion decades ago. I have always met my date at the destination, and how they got there was their business. Back when I owned a car I might offer them a ride home afterward if it was late -- I've dated very few people who had cars of their own.

If it was a first date with someone I didn't know much about, then I would insist on meeting at the destination for my own safety. As a woman, I would not risk giving someone my home address right away.