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'Stuff' Coaches Say

Old 01-14-14, 10:42 AM
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AzTallRider
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'Stuff' Coaches Say

I was on the phone with Ex yesterday, and he had me rolling on the floor when I realized he was using "Coach Speak".

What Coach said: "Let's keep building that explosiveness"
What Coach meant: "Let's see if we can get you something recognizeable as a sprint effort"

Anyone have other good Coach Speak examples?
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Old 01-14-14, 11:04 AM
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What coach says: "I want to further develop your TT efforts"

What coach means: "I want you to HTFU on solo efforts"

Last edited by Allegheny Jet; 01-14-14 at 11:53 AM.
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Old 01-14-14, 01:39 PM
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What coach says: "I think you should focus your efforts at TT. You've had your best results at that discipline."

What coach means: "You suck at TT the least, you should focus on that."
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Old 01-14-14, 02:16 PM
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I'm more interested in what context your Ex was speaking ...
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Old 01-14-14, 02:41 PM
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I am back training with Dmitry. And the comments are epic, blunt and self explanatory.

"That wasn't very good". Is that all? Self explanatory.

"Okay, you can try". It is not going to happen for you but go ahead and try and then we will do it my way.

Roger Young

"You looked really good out there". We will not discuss actual results because it is too painful.
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Old 01-14-14, 06:04 PM
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Coach says "we need to work on you being smoother"

Coach means "you're a klutz, how do you even walk?"
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Old 01-19-14, 12:26 PM
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"That road race is not a 65 mile criterium".
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Old 01-19-14, 01:22 PM
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Wut? Shovel in a RR?
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Old 01-19-14, 01:35 PM
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I do a few.
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Old 01-19-14, 03:39 PM
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Whoa, check shovel's post count!
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Old 01-19-14, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted by revchuck View Post
Whoa, check shovel's post count!
I hear a slot machine going off somewhere....
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Old 01-19-14, 06:46 PM
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Ka-ching.

How time flies.
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Old 02-22-14, 04:58 AM
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Me: "I've still got to swap the 12-30 cassette onto the wheel I'm using for Rouge-Roubaix."

Coach: "The 18% part of that climb isn't long enough, and you'll need the 16t cog more during the race. Use the 12-27."

Me:
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Old 03-31-14, 02:37 PM
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Coach says: "Your power numbers don't add up. Something looks funny."

Coach means: "If you don't get rid of that POS Quarq I am hopping the next plane to BDL so I can personally embed it in the side of your head, right before I beat $1500 out of you for an SRM".
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Old 06-11-14, 11:50 AM
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As I pulled ahead to do my turn at the front pushing for me, my 105% FTP number...

"Doping today? Two shots of Geritol!"

No respect for the F.O.G.
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Old 06-12-14, 10:54 AM
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Coach says: "You can't come back into cycling from nowhere and expect to win the worlds in six months."

Coach means: WTF are you thinking to want to win races, after sitting on the couch watching TV and eating pop tarts for the last few years?
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Old 06-15-14, 05:28 PM
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Coach says, "When the sag truck shows up to fix your bike I want you on the ground doing situps until they've got you set and ready to roll again."


What Coach really means, "I'm getting sick of watching your knees slapping up against your fat gut."
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