Real mtbrs do not ....
 

1. Use water bottles..
2. Wear lycra shorts (they wear long baggy shorts)..
3. Have visor on their helmets..

Etc, etc... Did I miss anything?

Hello, roadie here who's trying out mtb. I need advice on the dos and donts so I wont get yelled/ laughed at on the trails. Please help.... Thank you....

1 wrong
2 wrong
3 don't care

a hardcore roadie who thinks they are riding fast XC will get eaten alive and left for dead by a real mtb'er

Real mountain bikers enjoy the ride and don't care what others think.

Uhh, last time I checked lycra and water bottles were the way to go. At least around here. But it does depend on the discipline; the downhillier and the more technical the trails the more you'll get laughed at in lycra. So it's great for XC, okay for AM, most likely bad for FR and DH.

Real mountain bikers:

1) Rob the elderly;
2) Sell drugs near elementary schools;
3) Eat the souls of the weak.

Um, no. Use and ride whatever works for you. Think function trumping form. If you're insecure enough to really worry that much about what other riders may think, may I suggest you take up Tiddlywinks?

Bottles? Sometimes. Longer rides when more than in the Camelbak bladder is needed, or racing. Or just when I'm going short and close to home and don't feel like lugging the pack. Or also think XC racing.

Lycra? Some do, some don't. Wear what you like. 99% of the time I'm in baggies, but have done some long enduro races in the past where baggies would have suuuuucked.

Actually, it's the other way 'round. Most "road" specific helmets are visorless, and most "mtb" specific helmets have visors. Again, wear whatever helmet fits and feels good.

It's ain't rocket surgery.

now now, speak for yourself.

real mountain bikers don't mind getting dirty
real mountain bikers don't mind getting their bike dirty
real mountain bikers know how to do field repairs
real mountain bikers know first aid ;)
real mountain bikers don't have t-rex syndrome
real mountain bikers laugh

Sometimes, you can combine 1 and 3.

Real mountain bikers......
Ride Bullits and answer to '66.

Real mtbrs do not .... take most all "advice" that they read on this hilarious forum seriously.

Lycra is only for h0m0s

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y11...nofenders2.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y11...d/WBcondom.jpg

The photos above are a Public Service Announcement from the Road Nazi Trail Division Go F Yourself Project.

Hell, I didn't even know how to ride a bike until I started hanging out here.

Anxiously awaiting some Moab time next week. Tim tells me he's got something new to showcase.

wrong about the first two. i wear lyrca and i kick everyones ass on the trail(most of the time)and if people make fun of me i say who just kicked ur ass up that climb and then take off and laugh as they try and catch up...

You just went up two notches in my book PCad. Moto F-ing Becane.

You really don't give an "S" do you?

Oh i think pcad gives a a huge S two infact.

I knew I was doing it wrong. I was eating their souls and THEN robbing the elderly. duh.

just have fun!

Correct.

But technically speaking, there is no fun in cycling.

It's complicated.

Wow you must be really awesome! Are you pro? If you could spare the time I could round up the TGMBG and you could give us some tips on how to be fast.We could get up some money if you would be willing to do a demo on the proper way to laugh at people on the trail.If we had time at the end of the demo you could teach up how to be a internet badass........Yeah,that would be so cool.

Real mountain bikers care more about the trail ahead than what other people ride/wear/drink from.

I think you want the roadie forum......thats a couple of forums down

Real mountain bikers drink good beer.

that is all.

^^ I guess Im not real then..
Darn.. I was fooled for so long.

Very true. Just like Bubba Ho-Tep.