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The rules of Mountain Biking...

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The rules of Mountain Biking...

Old 12-05-11, 08:20 AM
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The rules of Mountain Biking...

Apparently there are strict guidelines that must be followed when riding mountain bikes and even selecting and setting up your intended bike. Myself being somewhat a cowboy rebel at heart, I tend to forget that these rules exist.

Lately, reading the most accurate source for all things mountain bike (the interwebz) has reminded me that there are certain rules that we all must follow to be successful mountain bikers.

1. Pick the right tool for the job. If you're going to ride smooth trails, pick a carbon rigid SS. If you're going to ride DH, you need a 9" travel slack dually. Pick the right bike for the terrain you're going to be riding.

2. When riding...you MUST have proper saddle height. You HAVE TO have proper leg extension. If you're pedaling and your leg is still bent...daggumit...raise it up. Who cares if it's in your way most of the time.

3. If you're riding All Mountain, you have got to use some sort of adjustable height seatpost. Anything else and you're going to catastrophically fail.

5. Never, never, EVER put a different length / travel fork on your frame than what came with it.

6. Clipless pedals are required. Flat pedals are for BMX and dirt jumpers. If you're not throwing tailwhips, you need clipless.

7. Hydraulic disc brakes are now a must. Gone are the days of rim brakes being capable of stopping your bike. They don't work anymore. The trails are much too aggressive these days, people are fatter...so there's just too much weight to stop, and the certain type of rubber trees that they used to make rim pads are all dead.

8. Never ride your bike in the mud. It's bad for your bike and bad for the trail.

9. Never spray water directly on your bike. OMG...this is just obvious.



I guess modern society is unable to think for themselves so they seek answers and put faith in the knowledge of complete strangers. Really, ride what you want, where you want, how you want. Stop reading these "Cycling for Dummies" articles and use your good judgement. Okay sure, it's a good place to start. I'm glad I haven't followed the rules of MTB'ing...I'd be on some silly Specialized Epic practicing spinning smooth circles in the parking lot so I don't get my bike dirty.

-If your saddle feels too high, lower it.
-If you like how a 7x7 feels but you're riding XC trails...who cares. Do it.
-Don't get sucked into the market "must have's". If you can't afford it, make do. Don't throw a $250 seatpost on your Visa b/c someone said you need it.
-You wanna slacken your bike and make it more fun? A longer fork will do the job. Don't go crazy...but it's fun.
-At one time, rim brakes rocked hard. I've still got 'em on a bike. I'm not going to change my wheelset and get an a2z plate for it.
-You don't wanna be semi-permanently attached to your bike? Go get some nice grippy flat pedals.
-Hey man...mud is fun! Get dirty, that's what MTB'ing is, man! Don't be stupid. If your trail drains off well...get 'er done!. If it holds water and makes gawd-aweful erosion issues...you may wanna pass on that one. When you're done, clean your bike. Spray it like a mofo. Don't be stupid and spray high pressure directly into some loose bearings...heck...take this opportunity to take it apart and check your bearings. Don't forget to dry off all of the non-stainless steel and lube your chain.


Most of all, just experiment. Change stuff around. Put a different tread pattern on your Christmas list. Try out different saddle heights and positions. Push your limits. I know what type of bike I WILL break. I know which wheels I WILL taco. I know which brakes will send me into a tree.

Have fun widdit.



Rules are meant to be broken. (to a point)
My heroes:
Shaums March bunnyhopping waist-high barriers on a Mountain Cycle SanAndreas
Jeff Jones hucking 6' boulders on a rigid SS.
Jinya Nishiwaki shredding DH on a hardtail.

Last edited by ed; 12-05-11 at 08:28 AM.
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Old 12-05-11, 10:23 AM
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You mean there are rules for this sort of thing?
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Old 12-05-11, 10:47 AM
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Thanks for those, ed. What a relief - - I think I'm doing almost everything wrong. Whew!
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Old 12-05-11, 11:19 AM
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Originally Posted by ed View Post
.....
Have fun widdit.

......
you are missing the point. mountain biking isn't supposed to be "fun," its about having the lightest most high tech machine, increasing your vo2 max, crushing other people on the trail, beating them, even though they don't realize they are in a competition, and just plain dominating.
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Old 12-05-11, 11:52 AM
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Am I going to be arrested or just get a ticket? That seat thing bugs me. I need to get a dropper for Christmas maybe........

What about mud and creek crossing? Do I need to portage the bike? I like scaring the trout.
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Old 12-05-11, 11:59 AM
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And no slowing town for beautiful mountaintop vistas. Just because you have to be out in nature to find dangerous rocks and trees in your way does not mean you have to appreciate it. Keep up your speed!
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Old 12-05-11, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Daspydyr View Post
What about mud and creek crossing? Do I need to portage the bike? I like scaring the trout.
Hydroplane it, man, just hydorplane it . . .

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Last edited by dminor; 12-05-11 at 12:12 PM.
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Old 12-05-11, 12:49 PM
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Old 12-05-11, 01:35 PM
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OH, yeah, my wife has hidden my "clipless" pedals. I have some platforms I stole off my grand daughters Hello Kitty bike. Is that OK?
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Old 12-05-11, 01:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Daspydyr View Post
I have some platforms I stole off my grand daughters Hello Kitty bike. Is that OK?
Only if you left the reflectors on.
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Old 12-05-11, 01:44 PM
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I have seen 6 of 9 of these seriously pronounced in the last week. Great reminders, Ed.
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Old 12-05-11, 01:56 PM
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Yeah...the one this a.m. finally set off a switch for some reason. It's just common sense that not everyone has, I guess.
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Old 12-05-11, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by pablosnazzy View Post
you are missing the point. mountain biking isn't supposed to be "fun," its about having the lightest most high tech machine, increasing your vo2 max, crushing other people on the trail, beating them, even though they don't realize they are in a competition, and just plain dominating.
You mean be more like a roadie? Should I include getting a full kit for mtn biking now?
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Old 12-05-11, 03:09 PM
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Originally Posted by colorider View Post
You mean be more like a roadie? Should I include getting a full kit for mtn biking now?
what? you don't have one now? ugh!
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Old 12-05-11, 04:23 PM
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I like rules of thumb for the most part - - in that, if you are far enough away from the rule that you can cover it with your thumb, then you're far enough away for it not to apply to you.
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Old 12-05-11, 04:26 PM
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I thought rule #1 was that you do not talk about mountain biking? I thought that was rule #2 too, actually.

And the final rule of mountain biking is if it's your first time mountain biking, you HAVE to fall.
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Old 12-05-11, 05:55 PM
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Based on the number of "me too" replies in the riding in jeans thread you should probably add proper/improper attire to the list .
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Old 12-05-11, 06:24 PM
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CRAP! I just finished this today.. guess it goes in the rubbish bin now.
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Old 12-05-11, 06:38 PM
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^^ Nuts to the bike; nice F-1!
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Old 12-05-11, 06:44 PM
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Ed, I see where you got your inspiration:

https://www.velominati.com/blog/the-rules/

Thank you for keeping your list shorter than this one
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Old 12-05-11, 06:52 PM
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Old 12-05-11, 07:00 PM
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I hate rules. Keep on riding.
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Old 12-05-11, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by RaleighSport View Post
CRAP! I just finished this today.. guess it goes in the rubbish bin now.
Ah, the "Giant Boulder", probably the most unfortunately named mountain bike in history.
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Old 12-06-11, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by pablosnazzy View Post
what? you don't have one now? ugh!
Man I didn't know it was a rule.

I draw the line at shaving my legs though.
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Old 12-06-11, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by corvuscorvax View Post
Ah, the "Giant Boulder", probably the most unfortunately named mountain bike in history.
at least it weighs less then one with no derailers!
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