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Old 03-07-13, 07:09 AM   #1
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Newsletter March 7th - Chicken Admits to Doping

Chicken Admits to Doping

An organic chicken, of the bantam class, has admitted to doping. Exact particulars are difficult to confirm due to its lack of command of the English language, but his oversized thighs and succulent white meat breasts led authorities to suspect this was no normal bird.

Authorities enlisted the aid of a chicken whisperer to pry out the facts. The chicken didn’t admit to knowingly dope, but suggested it must have been in something it ate. Breeders, even organic breeders, have long been suspected of giving the birds “a little extra juice” to fatten them up for harvest.

“This is an ongoing investigation, since we suspect this involves more than one bird. We believe this practice is widespread and could even be linked to school lunch programs.” commented the Chief Poultry Officer.

First word of this came from a first grader who noticed a particularly succulent chop and immediately calculated how much he would make should he win a whistle blower suit. The kid happens to excel in math.

It’s also unclear what disciplinary action the chicken could face. Sanctioning would seem trite, since chickens are normally executed.

This is a breaking story. Thanks for reading – John Neugent

Current sales ……

Just added to our Specials and Closeout page are some killer deals on cranksets. We have a limited supply of some new cranksets you can get at a very special closeout price.

THIS SALE IS SO HOT I WILL KEEP IT GOING FOR ANOTHER DAY. We still have our great wheel and rubber sale going for at least another day. Get the M28 Aero wheels (1750 grams) with Michelin Lithion2 tires and tubes for only $45 more (total $214) or the R28 SL wheels with the same rubber deal for $294.

F100 and FC100 Bike Sale: How often do you get to buy a truly great bike below wholesale? How often does that bike come with the very latest components and is custom built to your specification? Our alloy F100 is a close copy of the old Cervelo S1 frame. Made in the same factory (that’s right, a pro tour level bike). Our FC100 is made in a factory that used to make many of the Look frames.

Why am I doing this? It’s the winter, I have too much stock, and I am going to discontinue these models largely due to the need for some new graphics. I could also just tell you that I want to turn some inventory into cash but that would probably not work as well.

FC500 Bike Sale: Of all the products we have ever sold none has come close to the satisfaction level this bike gets. Many of the owner become walking Neuvation sales people. Yes it’s that good. For a limited time only get 10% off my already low Internet pricing on the FC500. Discount applied at checkout.
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