Retirement and mental health
03-19-22, 05:37 PM
#26
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: SF Bay Area, East bay
Posts: 8,115
Bikes: Miyata 618 GT, Marinoni, Kestral 200 2002 Trek 5200, KHS Flite, Koga Miyata, Schwinn Spitfire 5, Mondia Special, Univega Alpina, Miyata team Ti, Santa Cruz Highball
Mentioned: 49 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1387 Post(s)
Liked 1,821 Times
in
919 Posts
Stealing this from another thread, but if it fits. Really, what you are dealing with is the wisdom of life. Forgive yourself for not knowing better and hope you can pass on your experience to someone in need.
03-19-22, 07:47 PM
#27
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SE Wisconsin
Posts: 771
Bikes: Trek 970, Bianchi Volpe,Casati
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 348 Post(s)
Liked 117 Times
in
83 Posts
Need info
I will read through the threads later. On your original post, you said you quite your job and parking cars.
Are you able to retire , or did you decide you couldn't keep the same job?
If you are retiring from work now is the best time to do something that you always wanted to do.. Hobbies, classes, meet up groups, charity work etc.
If you still need to work i suggest you don't keep this job any longer than necessary.
as far as the past. I was king of looking back . Very bad to do that. You can't ride your bike looking backwards . You only need that if you changing a lane etc. The rest of the time you scan forward that's where your focus needs to be. Looking back only good that could be is to realize what you don't want and work towards what you do want. Another advice I can offer is don't beat up on yourself about mistakes. Just be in the moment and appreciate the good you have and the experience you have.
Are you able to retire , or did you decide you couldn't keep the same job?
If you are retiring from work now is the best time to do something that you always wanted to do.. Hobbies, classes, meet up groups, charity work etc.
If you still need to work i suggest you don't keep this job any longer than necessary.
as far as the past. I was king of looking back . Very bad to do that. You can't ride your bike looking backwards . You only need that if you changing a lane etc. The rest of the time you scan forward that's where your focus needs to be. Looking back only good that could be is to realize what you don't want and work towards what you do want. Another advice I can offer is don't beat up on yourself about mistakes. Just be in the moment and appreciate the good you have and the experience you have.
03-20-22, 12:06 PM
#28
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Providing an update here. Journaling is very productive for me. I found a strange podcast on journaling a few days back and it really set me on the right path to getting the most out of it. I start off with asking questions and answer them as I ask them. A question builds upon the questions before it. One comment was that this is essentially how psychotherapy works.
As for guitar I picked up a used Ibanez acoustic on the cheap. An amazing box that plays so effortlessly. Great action without any adjustments needed. Haven't played alongside anyone since 1982 and don't think I ever will again. Just like making music of my own as it relaxes me.
As for the job, I don't need it as I can retire right now at the same income level as I had when working. I simply like to have something to do all day. Now when I reach 65 then I will go part time as life expectancy in my family is relatively short typically done by age 77 at the most.
As for guitar I picked up a used Ibanez acoustic on the cheap. An amazing box that plays so effortlessly. Great action without any adjustments needed. Haven't played alongside anyone since 1982 and don't think I ever will again. Just like making music of my own as it relaxes me.
As for the job, I don't need it as I can retire right now at the same income level as I had when working. I simply like to have something to do all day. Now when I reach 65 then I will go part time as life expectancy in my family is relatively short typically done by age 77 at the most.
03-20-22, 05:53 PM
#29
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 25 miles northwest of Boston
Posts: 28,981
Bikes: Bottecchia Sprint, GT Timberline 29r, Marin Muirwoods 29er, Trek FX Alpha 7.0
Mentioned: 109 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5042 Post(s)
Liked 3,254 Times
in
2,142 Posts
03-20-22, 05:56 PM
#30
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 25 miles northwest of Boston
Posts: 28,981
Bikes: Bottecchia Sprint, GT Timberline 29r, Marin Muirwoods 29er, Trek FX Alpha 7.0
Mentioned: 109 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5042 Post(s)
Liked 3,254 Times
in
2,142 Posts
Providing an update here. Journaling is very productive for me. As for the job, I don't need it as I can retire right now at the same income level as I had when working. I simply like to have something to do all day. Now when I reach 65 then I will go part time as life expectancy in my family is relatively short typically done by age 77 at the most.
04-01-22, 04:59 AM
#31
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Runrunn6, I don't really think of it as the last decade, I look at it as a flight deck and I'm going through pre-flight checks. My faith in God affords me a different perspective, that's all.
04-01-22, 06:38 AM
#32
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 4,515
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1383 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 718 Times
in
396 Posts
Life is a crap shoot. We all make mistakes but if we could go back and change anything then everything subsequent in our lives would change. Perhaps not for the better. So I'm happy enough to play the cards I've been dealt.
Likes For jon c.:
04-01-22, 08:04 AM
#33
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 1,825
Bikes: 1996 Trek 970 ZX 2x11
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 581 Post(s)
Liked 500 Times
in
381 Posts
... I have a lot of time to think and reflect. The past two weeks I have been giving thought to my past and some of the life shaping events that occurred and how I so desperately want to go back in time and change my reactions and the things I said. In a way, rewrite the chapters.
Sometimes it feels like I regret what happened, other times it is a desire for a different outcome.
Sometimes it feels like I regret what happened, other times it is a desire for a different outcome.
So long as it's not hanging you up and saddling you with deep regrets, and it isn't in an "Oh, me! Oh, my!" manner ... I think it's healthy and reasonable to expect.
04-23-22, 05:28 AM
#34
Banned.
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 20
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 5 Times
in
3 Posts
You work to live not live to work. Now you have all the time in the world to do what you want but men often have a difficult time retiring. My grandpa has very nice retirement without any health issues. My grandmo though has some serious neurological issues so we are looking for a good clinic for here through https://bookinghealth.com/disease/ne...rehabilitation. Wish everyone be healthy
Last edited by RihanaB; 04-28-22 at 07:09 AM.
04-24-22, 08:20 AM
#35
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Los Alamitos, Calif.
Posts: 2,333
Bikes: Trek 7.4 FX
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 925 Post(s)
Liked 764 Times
in
452 Posts
I think one of the things that you have to be willing to accept and understand is that any change is going to take time. Don't expect to go from your current state into one of retirement bliss overnight. Just the act of trying different things is in itself a step forward, realize that. We all move forward and find our direction at different speeds.
Likes For TakingMyTime:
04-27-22, 05:54 PM
#36
Senior Member
There's a sign up in my local college gym facility, "fear regret more than failure." I get where they are going but I doubt our prehistoric ancestors would have survived very long with an attitude like that. I mean, those who said "I don't want to regret not taking on this Sabre tooth tiger with my bare hands, even if I fail at the task" didn't leave behind much of a gene pool.
What I'm getting at is that humans survive in part because we have a capacity to regret. I once saw a documentary which featured a man who, following a kind of brain fever, for lack of proper medical term, didn't seem to feel any regret over mistakes. It sounds like a blissful life and perhaps it is/was, but his career was over as was his marriage.
So regret is built into us if we are healthy. This indicates that we are in fact designed to make mistakes, since if you don't make mistakes, you never feel regret.
Regret is part of the dynamic of being successfully alive. The challenge is find a way to have regret become your inspiration and not your jailer. Best of luck.
What I'm getting at is that humans survive in part because we have a capacity to regret. I once saw a documentary which featured a man who, following a kind of brain fever, for lack of proper medical term, didn't seem to feel any regret over mistakes. It sounds like a blissful life and perhaps it is/was, but his career was over as was his marriage.
So regret is built into us if we are healthy. This indicates that we are in fact designed to make mistakes, since if you don't make mistakes, you never feel regret.
Regret is part of the dynamic of being successfully alive. The challenge is find a way to have regret become your inspiration and not your jailer. Best of luck.
04-27-22, 06:34 PM
#37
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 1,593
Bikes: aethos, creo, vanmoof, public ...
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 947 Post(s)
Liked 1,041 Times
in
557 Posts
I have not retired from the work world, however this past fall I did retire from responsibility. I quit working in a high stress environment and took a zero stress job parking cars 40 hours a week. I work by myself all day and don't have to answer to anyone other than me. There are zero demands on my time and my brain. The big deal is that I no longer work 6 days a week as I have done for the past 40 years, and only work 5 days straight with two day weekends off.
An odd thing has popped up and I am wondering if those on this forum that are retired have experienced something similar. During the day I have my time to myself and the same goes after work and on weekends. I no longer do research into latest trends in tech or management so I have a lot of time to think and reflect. The past two weeks I have been giving thought to my past and some of the life shaping events that occurred and how I so desperately want to go back in time and change my reactions and the things I said. In a way, rewrite the chapters.
Sometimes it feels like I regret what happened, other times it is a desire for a different outcome. Its as if now that my mind is not preoccupied with work, it is reliving the past. Have others gone through this?
An odd thing has popped up and I am wondering if those on this forum that are retired have experienced something similar. During the day I have my time to myself and the same goes after work and on weekends. I no longer do research into latest trends in tech or management so I have a lot of time to think and reflect. The past two weeks I have been giving thought to my past and some of the life shaping events that occurred and how I so desperately want to go back in time and change my reactions and the things I said. In a way, rewrite the chapters.
Sometimes it feels like I regret what happened, other times it is a desire for a different outcome. Its as if now that my mind is not preoccupied with work, it is reliving the past. Have others gone through this?
it will take you some time to adjust and find new pursuits. recollecting and learning from the past is great, but as many others have said, you can't change it.
Likes For mschwett:
04-28-22, 11:13 AM
#38
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: SW Florida
Posts: 1,644
Bikes: '06 Bianchi Pista; '57 Maclean; '10 Scott CR1 Pro; 2005 Trek 2000 Tandem; '09 Comotion Macchiato Tandem; 199? Novara Road; '17 Circe Helios e-tandem:1994 Trek 2300
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 133 Post(s)
Liked 82 Times
in
51 Posts
i'm many years away from it, but i can speak from family experience to the fact that retirement is one of the most stressful periods of life. many of us spend our adult lives shaping and adapting to a career that defines us, maybe get important and successful and have tons of people who care what we're doing, contribute to our work, etc etc etc, fill many of our free waking moments with thoughts and actions about work... and then poof!
it will take you some time to adjust and find new pursuits. recollecting and learning from the past is great, but as many others have said, you can't change it.
it will take you some time to adjust and find new pursuits. recollecting and learning from the past is great, but as many others have said, you can't change it.
Likes For Artmo:
04-28-22, 12:37 PM
#39
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Sacramento, California, USA
Posts: 40,862
Bikes: Specialized Tarmac, Canyon Exceed, Specialized Transition, Ellsworth Roots, Ridley Excalibur
Mentioned: 68 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2951 Post(s)
Liked 3,092 Times
in
1,411 Posts
I'm seriously considering it. We'll be empty nesters soon. And there are some causes I'm passionate about that could use my skills and experience. It would be nice to be able to do so without having to worry about how much they'll pay (if at all).
04-29-22, 09:58 AM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In the foothills of Los Angeles County
Posts: 22,560
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6551 Post(s)
Liked 6,640 Times
in
3,346 Posts
At some point in my 60s I figured I would be able to live on SS and the relief was amazing. As soon as I turned 65 and was eligible for Medicare I was out of there. I might have stayed longer if they had started making offers to me sooner but by the time they figured out they needed me I had made up my mind.
I was a car mechanic, actually a driveability technician, at Chevrolet dealers. Commission pay, on my feet all day, outside in 100 degree weather, high stress, competing with men half my age, at least 10 cars per day...you get the picture.
I love being retired partly because I love being at home. Also love being able to ride whenever I want.
04-29-22, 11:26 AM
#41
just another gosling
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 19,009
Bikes: CoMo Speedster 2003, Trek 5200, CAAD 9, Fred 2004
Mentioned: 113 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3646 Post(s)
Liked 1,626 Times
in
1,189 Posts
My mom told me, "If you have a project you want to get done, do it before you retire because you won't have time afterwards." IME she was right. Busy, busy, busy.
__________________
Results matter
Results matter
04-29-22, 11:37 AM
#42
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 1,593
Bikes: aethos, creo, vanmoof, public ...
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 947 Post(s)
Liked 1,041 Times
in
557 Posts
This was not my experience. I retired 3 years ago and the stress and anxiety of work melted away almost immediately. I hated working and hated the stress of being a couple paychecks away from poverty and possibly homelessness. I worked for 50 years and there were times when I couldn't see any way out and this was depressing.
At some point in my 60s I figured I would be able to live on SS and the relief was amazing. As soon as I turned 65 and was eligible for Medicare I was out of there. I might have stayed longer if they had started making offers to me sooner but by the time they figured out they needed me I had made up my mind.
I was a car mechanic, actually a driveability technician, at Chevrolet dealers. Commission pay, on my feet all day, outside in 100 degree weather, high stress, competing with men half my age, at least 10 cars per day...you get the picture.
I love being retired partly because I love being at home. Also love being able to ride whenever I want.
At some point in my 60s I figured I would be able to live on SS and the relief was amazing. As soon as I turned 65 and was eligible for Medicare I was out of there. I might have stayed longer if they had started making offers to me sooner but by the time they figured out they needed me I had made up my mind.
I was a car mechanic, actually a driveability technician, at Chevrolet dealers. Commission pay, on my feet all day, outside in 100 degree weather, high stress, competing with men half my age, at least 10 cars per day...you get the picture.
I love being retired partly because I love being at home. Also love being able to ride whenever I want.
04-29-22, 01:09 PM
#43
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In the foothills of Los Angeles County
Posts: 22,560
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6551 Post(s)
Liked 6,640 Times
in
3,346 Posts
Really, I'm quite pleased with retirement so far.
04-29-22, 02:28 PM
#44
It's MY mountain
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mt.Diablo
Posts: 9,841
Bikes: Klein, Merckx, Trek
Mentioned: 70 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3956 Post(s)
Liked 2,464 Times
in
1,345 Posts
Most of the stress of my full-time job was not exactly job-related, it was all the other crap like utilization ratios and performance reviews and effective labor multipliers and proposals and office politics. I went part time at age 59 with a new company and now I just do whatever they give me - not always engaging tasks, but mostly enjoyable. And when the boss starts talking about how many more hours the office did last year than this year, or when people can schedule their vacations, I just kick back and say "not my problem".
Less (but enough) money, more time off... far more mental health.
And I know now that I could resign whenever I wanted to and still be fine.
Less (but enough) money, more time off... far more mental health.
And I know now that I could resign whenever I wanted to and still be fine.
