Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Fifty Plus (50+) > Pills and Ills
Reload this Page >

Pills and Ills Hospital Humor

Notices
Pills and Ills This is a discussion subforum for the health challenges faced by riders 50+. These discussions are in no way to be considered professional medical advice.

Pills and Ills Hospital Humor

Old 03-14-23, 10:10 AM
  #26  
Full Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 486

Bikes: Historical: Schwinn Speedster; Schwinn Collegiate; 1981 Ross Gran Tour; 1981 Dawes Atlantis; 1991 Specialized Rockhopper. Current: 1987 Ritchey Ultra; 1987 Centurion Ironman Dave Scott Master; 1992 Specialized Stumpjumper FS

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 206 Post(s)
Liked 177 Times in 110 Posts
Originally Posted by Tusk
Doctor informed me at my age 49 annual physical that I had a colonoscopy to look forward to at age 50. I told him that meant I had one year to find a new doctor.

He was getting ready to perform a prostate exam, which I am not to fond of and was trying everything to get out of his office without that experience. He put it all in perspective when he politely informed me that it was not his favorite thing to do either. I relented.
For mine, the doctor had to call in a nurse to witness. Literally. Like, she couldn't do the exam without a third-person to verify ... something. That was a little odd.
Chinghis is offline  
Old 03-14-23, 10:15 AM
  #27  
Old fart
 
JohnDThompson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Appleton WI
Posts: 24,885

Bikes: Several, mostly not name brands.

Mentioned: 153 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3549 Post(s)
Liked 3,300 Times in 1,888 Posts
Originally Posted by Lombard
Prostate exam "finger up the ass" humor. YIKES!
I remember one of the family practice docs at the hospital where I worked complaining to a colleague that new resident physicians weren't doing rectal exams. To which the colleague replied "And I thought they were supposed to be the digital generation!"
JohnDThompson is offline  
Likes For JohnDThompson:
Old 03-14-23, 10:55 AM
  #28  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 4,083
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2332 Post(s)
Liked 2,092 Times in 1,310 Posts
Eons ago Chevy Chase was having an MRI done and the Doc and Tech were explaining the procedures serious as hell.

Chevy says, "Will you be able to see inside my brain"

Tech says, "Yes"

Chevy says deadpan, "Do me a favor. Look in there for my music cells, I used to be a concert pianist and can't play anymore"

I peed myself. That someone in so much pain could joke was the real lesson
GhostRider62 is offline  
Likes For GhostRider62:
Old 03-14-23, 11:00 AM
  #29  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 4,812
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1590 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1,010 Times in 568 Posts
My last colonoscopy involved "twilight sleep" anesthesia. I wasn't quite out but I wasn't really aware of the procedure,

In the recovery area a nurse came by after a while and asked how I was feeling. I truthfully told her "I haven't felt this good in years,"

She laughed and said 'oh, that's the morphine,' I asked if I could have some to take home but no such luck.
jon c. is offline  
Old 03-14-23, 11:09 AM
  #30  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 4,083
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2332 Post(s)
Liked 2,092 Times in 1,310 Posts
I was in the ER with a ruptured appendix.

After 3-4 hours on a Wednesday and about 12 medical personnel jabbed and poked me, they decided to do a CT.

Surgeon comes in and tells me they need to rip my appendix out.

I asked him if we could do it Friday because I was playing Pine Valley tomorrow.
GhostRider62 is offline  
Old 03-14-23, 11:13 AM
  #31  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 4,083
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2332 Post(s)
Liked 2,092 Times in 1,310 Posts
My family Doc tells me it was over 5 years since my last rectal. Me: No thanks, I'm good.. Him: You think this is the favorite part of my job?! Me: Bending over Him: I'm going to do it twice unless you promise to get more regular checkup
GhostRider62 is offline  
Old 03-14-23, 06:00 PM
  #32  
Banned.
 
Join Date: Feb 2023
Posts: 17
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts
I smile every time I see Chevy Chase who keeps his sense of humor even in a serious situation of an MRI. It's inspiring to see someone make light of a difficult situation and find humor in it, really. Unfortunately, I'm not good at all at finding ways to stay positive and keep a good attitude((( My biggest problem with depression is solved every time when it comes by a nurse from our local hospital. Overall, I read more on https://samploon.com/free-essays/nursing/ and understand daily what a vital significance this job has. The essays I check about nursing teach me that it is tough work, no doubt about it. Nurses work long hours, deal with all sorts of bodily fluids, and are constantly on their feet. But you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine, and nurses know how to bring the jokes. But in all seriousness, nurses play such an important role in our hospitals and healthcare system. They are the ones who are there day in and day out, taking care of patients and ensuring they receive the best possible care. We couldn't do it without them. So here's to all the hardworking nurses out there, keep up the great work and keep the jokes coming!

Last edited by MeganCook; 03-20-23 at 08:38 AM.
MeganCook is offline  
Likes For MeganCook:
Old 03-15-23, 01:21 PM
  #33  
Pennylane Splitter
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Orange County, California
Posts: 1,854

Bikes: Yes

Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1705 Post(s)
Liked 1,391 Times in 950 Posts
True story #1:

I go in for a colonoscopy, its over and I'm in the recovery/waiting room. Doctor comes in and asks if I have any questions:
ME: "So the report says you didn't find anything? Nothing at all?"
DOC: "Yep, that's correct, nothing at all"
ME: "Great! So I can tell my relatives and co-workers that I definitely do not have my head stuck up my azz."

True Story #2:
I'm in the emergency room on a gurney waiting for the lab tests to be completed. The next bay over I hear "Oops; damn!" A few minutes later I here it again "Oops' damn, did it again!" And a few minutes after that I here another "Oops; damnit, did it again! This one's finished, lets get it out of here" and I here something (a gurney?) being wheeled out. I'm getting worried so when the nurse walks in I ask "is everything OK next door?" She answers "yeah, the electronic "vitals" monitor kept failing so they sent it down to maintenance."
skidder is offline  
Likes For skidder:
Old 03-16-23, 11:33 AM
  #34  
Senior Member
 
rumrunn6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 25 miles northwest of Boston
Posts: 29,500

Bikes: Bottecchia Sprint, GT Timberline 29r, Marin Muirwoods 29er, Trek FX Alpha 7.0

Mentioned: 112 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5216 Post(s)
Liked 3,554 Times in 2,325 Posts
I broke my leg peeing

but that's not a joke. just dumb as heck
rumrunn6 is offline  
Old 04-04-23, 10:55 AM
  #35  
Senior Member
 
MNBikeCommuter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 851

Bikes: Cannondale '92 T600 '95 H600 '01 RT1000

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)
Liked 103 Times in 79 Posts
At an annual physical, I mentioned that urinating isn't as forceful as it used to be. My dr smiled and replied, "Soooo. You can't write your name in the snow anymore!"
MNBikeCommuter is offline  
Old 04-07-23, 06:32 PM
  #36  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,529
Mentioned: 34 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2111 Post(s)
Liked 663 Times in 443 Posts
Teaching hospitals are fun.

I’m being prepped for achilles tendon surgery.

Intern is doing their second nerve block on a leg. My leg.

First Doc is making sure rule number one is followed, which leg.

Then Doc is explaining to the intern that while their first patient
was somewhat of a challenge, overweight, smoker
(I guess it makes a difference finding the nerve),
you’ll be able to do this one (wait, what? They failed the first?),
just relax, this is a piece of cake, you can do this,
this leg is textbook.

So, I’m thinking, you two know I can hear you, right?
So, to cut the tension (my tension), I wonder aloud….
“Like Grey’s Anatomy? “
Doc answers, “Nah, like da Vinci.”

(I was indeed a piece of cake.)

-mr. bill
mr_bill is offline  
Likes For mr_bill:
Old 04-11-23, 12:23 PM
  #37  
Pennylane Splitter
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Orange County, California
Posts: 1,854

Bikes: Yes

Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1705 Post(s)
Liked 1,391 Times in 950 Posts
^^^ Thankfully they weren't like Picasso in his abstract/modernist period^^^^.
skidder is offline  
Old 05-10-23, 02:24 PM
  #38  
Meet me at spin class!!!!
 
HeyItsSara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: NY
Posts: 379

Bikes: Precor recumbant indoor bike, Stages bike at Equinox gym

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 122 Post(s)
Liked 74 Times in 53 Posts
Yow. You know there are girls here, right?
HeyItsSara is offline  
Old 05-10-23, 02:52 PM
  #39  
Senior Member
 
FBOATSB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Central Indiana
Posts: 2,201

Bikes: Old Stuff

Mentioned: 27 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 912 Post(s)
Liked 512 Times in 342 Posts
Originally Posted by HeyItsSara
Yow. You know there are girls here, right?
My wife had her first MRI today. (I've had a few.) She said "If I were an interrogator, the noise and stress from that machine would bring a criminal to confess!"
FBOATSB is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.