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Pills and Ills Hospital Humor

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Pills and Ills Hospital Humor

Old 05-03-22, 11:38 AM
  #1  
Wildwood
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Pills and Ills Hospital Humor

Got a SHORT story, or laughable line......


Doc did an ultrasound of my pelvic area, rectally inserted.

He is a cyclist and knows I ride. Nice guy, so far.

I asked after procedure, "How did it go?"

"A little ******(shatty), but Good News - there will be room to get all my tools in there."
Funny, but not funny!
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Old 05-03-22, 12:21 PM
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I guess they didn't find anything bad. interesting procedure! yikes!
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Old 05-03-22, 12:31 PM
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Oh gosh, more old age stuff to look forward to.

I hope and wish you all the best outcome if further procedures or treatment is needed.
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Old 05-03-22, 02:57 PM
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.....it's the jokes boyz, it's the jokes.


This is not a sympathy, support, nor diagnostic thread.
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Old 05-03-22, 04:53 PM
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Doctor informed me at my age 49 annual physical that I had a colonoscopy to look forward to at age 50. I told him that meant I had one year to find a new doctor.

He was getting ready to perform a prostate exam, which I am not to fond of and was trying everything to get out of his office without that experience. He put it all in perspective when he politely informed me that it was not his favorite thing to do either. I relented.
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Old 05-04-22, 07:15 AM
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I’ve never understood the fairly common reluctance to have prostate or colon exams. Surely the minor unpleasantness is far better than the potential consequences and treatment/excision of cancers later on. Be brave and possibly save your life!
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Old 05-04-22, 02:00 PM
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so I've been thinking about changing my GP. can't help but include the "clinical" investigations into my choice calculus. meaning, do I go for the petite woman or the athletic older man? or do I stick with the younger doc I have now? seriously, when I consider changing/choosing I can't help but think about that brief moment where one drops their drawers. I used to have a female GP & it was fine. been thinking a male about 10 years older than me, would have a better perspective for where I'm headed physically
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Old 05-04-22, 02:23 PM
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After a while you'll start thinking in terms of, "Who's a good doctor that's 20 years younger than me so I don't have to go find another one when s/he retires?"
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Old 05-04-22, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Wildwood View Post
Got a SHORT story, or laughable line......


Doc did an ultrasound of my pelvic area, rectally inserted.

He is a cyclist and knows I ride. Nice guy, so far.

I asked after procedure, "How did it go?"

"A little ******(shatty), but Good News - there will be room to get all my tools in there."
Funny, but not funny!
Obama told a joke like this at the press roast one year - he said they found Mitch McConnel up there and "that guy can obstruct ANYTHING".
OK, that's political but Obama knew how to tell a joke.

I like to put the physicians at ease when they need to do personal/intimate stuff - I tell them my objective is to be their favorite patient and there's nothing they can do to embarrass me... they usually appreciate that. Also, I like doctors with small fingers.
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Old 05-05-22, 08:40 AM
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do I go for the petite woman or the athletic older man?... seriously, when I consider changing/choosing I can't help but think about that brief moment where one drops their drawers.
I was just past the age where I had discovered the allure of the opposite sex and was taken to the base clinic for a sports physical. In walks a younger, attractive, female military physician. Her instruction to turn your head and cough was a difficult concept to grasp.
I honestly feel sorry for young women who face a male gyno for the first time. Could be rather traumatic.
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Old 05-05-22, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by DiabloScott View Post
I like doctors with small fingers.
hmmm interesting, they don't show hands in profile photos on medical center websites, sometimes their no photo & you just have to pick a name
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Old 05-05-22, 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted by pdlamb View Post
After a while you'll start thinking in terms of, "Who's a good doctor that's 20 years younger than me so I don't have to go find another one when s/he retires?"
oh yeah, good point. I wonder what age Docs retire at these days. in the old days they hung on forever
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Old 05-05-22, 11:01 AM
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True story when I got a vasectomy about 30 years ago the urologist was a female and she had me come in a week before to see if we would be compatible. I was like what do you mean and she said she needed to make sure I would be comfortable with her handling my balls....I said as long as you are gentle I will be fine with it, I was so procedure was scheduled a week later and I get there and she says "hey if you don't mind we have a class of nursing students who would like to observe" I kid you not there were like 15 20 year girls there. I declined lol.
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Old 05-05-22, 11:03 AM
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Originally Posted by rumrunn6 View Post
oh yeah, good point. I wonder what age Docs retire at these days. in the old days they hung on forever
my GP who I actually met through cycle racing just retired at early 60's. His replacement looks like he is 25yoa so I should be good for a while.
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Old 05-05-22, 11:07 AM
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My buddy was late to work and said he had to have a prostate examine and it was very troubling, and he said he was worried....everyone was like what is up and after a long somber pause he said....during the exam he noticed the dr had both hands on his shoulders....
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Old 05-05-22, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by jadmt View Post
my GP who I actually met through cycle racing just retired at early 60's. His replacement looks like he is 25yoa so I should be good for a while.
my dentist recently retired & I've got a new younger guy now. thankfully NOT in his 20s ... I think when your profession relies on your manual dexterity & experience working w/ your hands, there's some value to maturity
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Old 05-05-22, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by pdlamb View Post
After a while you'll start thinking in terms of, "Who's a good doctor that's 20 years younger than me so I don't have to go find another one when s/he retires?"
That is definitely something to consider. I recently found out the dentist I have been seeing for 35 years has retired. I have not looked for a replacement yet.
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Old 05-05-22, 11:41 AM
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You guys need to take the Presidential Intelligence Test, your cognitive ability to follow a thread is declining.

Back on point. I looked one up for inspiration.

Hospital Doc calls man: "Your wife was just admitted to the hospital"
Man replies: "How is she?"
Doc: "She is very critical, I'm sad to report"
Man: "Don't worry Doc, she's like that with everyone."
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Old 05-05-22, 03:28 PM
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Revised for today's gender / other sensibilities:

Hospital Doc calls to individual: "Your partner has just been admitted to the hospital."
Individual: "How is It?"
Doc: "It is very critical, I'm reporting" (the word 'sad' might make a privileged person 'unhappy' w/ th yoke)
Individual: "Don't worry Doc, It has been like that with everyone."


......different but still humorous, for One's modern, personal take. . Maybe more, upon reflection.
......if red is controversial, We can make it green.

Last edited by Wildwood; 05-05-22 at 03:33 PM.
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Old 05-05-22, 06:58 PM
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I had an event last February and landed in the hospital for a few days. The pulmonologist was summoned to "the bait shop." It's what they called the ER.
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Old 05-07-22, 09:04 AM
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Doctor: "Don't be embarrassed, many men experience an erect-tion during a prostate exam."

Patient: "Yeah, but doc, you're the one with the erect-tion."
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