OldsCOOL

Another end plug whacker checking in. Riding along the fog line almost home, somehow my OCDness said to reach down and smack that plug. Never have I realized moronic behavior so quickly. Just glad I maintained control. Wait until you get off the bike to do your maintenance work.

And a big note of gratitude to those that have admitted to doing this. Man, this thread is hilarious.

BillyD

How about: It was Pabst, I should have let go of it.

Bob Dopolina 

I was getting ready for a race and it was a pretty cool morning so I mixed up my usual massage oil mixed with a cream that is used for sore muscles. It's pretty hot stuff and the mixture makes your legs toasty and warm.

I got ready and headed to the start line. On the way I made my usual stop to have my last pee.

I forgot to wash my hand first...

Clipped_in

Lemme guess, not only did you win but you set a new course record!

Bob Dopolina 

Nope. But I like your enthusiasm!

Clipped_in

Here's one from the funny department:

The sidewalk transition ramps around my office building are an aesthetically pleasing red colored concrete. One day a co-worker and I are headed out for a lunch ride, but a construction worker has just troweled out the finishing touches after replacing an existing ramp we always use. I noticed the concrete truck and a couple of safety cones nearby just as my buddy drops his front wheel into the fresh concrete and leap frogs over the bars to plant both shoes in it as well. Fortunately, the concrete truck driver was kind enough to let my friend use the hose on his truck to get things sprayed off. The poor Latino construction worker just shook his head and muttered something that I'm pretty sure translates into dumba$$.

koolerb

I did a ride in 30 degrees Saturday and had a Scratch Labs slushie in my water bottle when I got back to the car. Would have been an awesome beverage on a hot summer day. No t so much when I was already freezing my butt off after loading the bike onto the car.

FLJeepGuy

As a teenager I was riding at a high rate of speed on the sidewalk next to a very busy 4 lane road. I was looking down instead of ahead and looked up just in time to see a solid concrete bus stop bench directly in my path. I hit it dead on and flipped over the handlebars. I landed on my back, stretched out on the bench with my hands still on the handlebars of my bike which was still standing straight up and down just over my head. Ended up with bent top and down tubes just behind the headtube. Luckily the bike was still rideable.

Of course, being a teenager and basically feeling immortal at the time, I didn't learn from the mistake. A couple of weeks later, I was on the same sidewalk, swerved to miss a pedestrian and caught a speed limit sign's pole inside the drops on my handlebars. I went down hard on this one, luckily with nothing broken except my pride and a lot of road rash. I finally learned my lesson about riding on sidewalks from that one.

Just recently, we got my son a new MTB with suspension and disc brakes. This is the most advanced bike he's ever owned and on the second trip out, we were riding on the road to the trail and he was cut off by a car that blew a stop sign and turned in front of us. In haste, he grabbed the front brake and locked it up. He endo'ed and fell hard. He had road rash all over his hands and forearms and nearly passed out from the pain. The car never stopped of course.

djb

here in Montreal every year they have that Grand Prix of Montreal road race, Sagan won it a few years back. They go up and over Mount Royal a whole bunch of times (15 or something) as part of the course loop.
On top of the "mountain" they put up a big banner going across the road for the sprint points thing etc, and use these giant cement blocks to support the structure. (about a yard or metre cube or more).

I and a lot of other riders use this hill as hill training and a couple of years ago I was going up on my touring bike a few days after the race when a man and a woman on nice road bikes slowly passed me just as I was stopping at the top.
The lady must have been suffering on the way up and had her head down , not looking where she was going, and as I watched in amazement, she rode smack dab into the corner of this giant, obvious massive block of concrete and flipped right over it.

she was probably only going 15kph or 10mph but amazingly she didnt hit her face and lose her teeth on the block or the ground, so was ok, but her carbon bike had a pretty good gash in the head tube area that I pointed out to them.
I had to explain to them about carbon and failures after damage like that and hopefully convinced them not to ride down the hill to go home.

Was the goofiest thing watching her approach this block and thinking, "shes not going to hit that is she" and whammo, over she goes.
I suspect her frame was toast.