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-   -   How to adjust handlebars? (https://www.bikeforums.net/road-cycling/1093602-how-adjust-handlebars.html)

Fib 01-03-17 06:54 PM


Originally Posted by HTupolev (Post 19289186)
To make sure we're all on the same page:

http://i.imgur.com/8ZOfEYG.png

Yep.

Fib 01-03-17 07:06 PM


Originally Posted by Maelochs (Post 19289196)
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...FE4E&FORM=VIRE Look at about 2:45

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...4B&FORM=VRDGAR

As Goenrdoug noted, you have a threadless adjustable stem (maybe more accurately a threadless headset and an adjustable stem.)

Anyway ... Seriously, go to YouTube and browse videos under the appropriate headings. You will see pretty quickly if the stuff they are working on is similar to what you have.

The fact that two of us were able to find this stuff so quickly tells me that you can find it too .... maybe not so quickly as it would take you longer to figure out if they were working on a bike like yours ....

I think Park Tools has a good series of videos on useful stuff .... but .... as I say all too often to people, "Google it."

One big annoyance I have with people nowadays is that everyone has a smartphone connected to just about all the information in the world ... and nobody uses it. back in the day people had to go to libraries and look through hundreds of magazine articles to find anything even vaguely related, or read half-a-dozen books looking for some info which ended up not being there. (Plus, we had to walk uphill to school both ways in the snow ... even in the summer.) :D

If you don't know the right name for a particular part (like "adjustable threadless stem") we can tell you, and from there you can find more info than you need.

Because I don't have an identical bike, I cannot give you perfect advice for how to fix or adjust every bit and piece, but between the folks here and the Internet we can find enough for you to assemble the answers you need.

I promise you I am looking up all of this before I ask on here. I absolutely hate it when people ask for help with anything instead of using the resources they have. I looked up what kind of stems there are, then I looked up pictures of the two kinds I read about. I compared them to mine, decided which one I thought looked most like mine (I forgot which one though, because I kinda just set it aside for a while, while I learned more about my gears) then looked up videos about how to adjust the handlebars on a bike with that stem... They were all completely different, so that's why I asked on here. So pretty much, the only reason I couldn't figure it out myself was because I didn't know what kind of stem I have. Everything you guys are telling me, and the videos and links are helping a lot, and I think I can adjust it now. I just need another tool that I don't have. The first time I tried to loosen the things you guys are saying I need to loosen, I did it with an allen wrench but I only have one of the size I need, but I need two of that size. I'll have to talk to my parents about getting another one.

I know back then you had to use books, I actually really like books and have a library near by, I think I'll go there soon and look at what books they have about bikes and cycling.

Maelochs 01-03-17 07:17 PM

To adjust Just the handlebars, you should only need the one allen wrench. The stem might take two.

I strongly suggest getting a cheap multi-tool .... and aside from that I'd say one of these (https://www.walmart.com/ip/Bell-Foun...rench/35732020) is the tool I use most, because most fittings on most modern bikes are one of three sizes. I got mine for $5 at Wal-Mart .... the price quoted here is higher, but if you are ever in Wal-mart maybe see for yourself.

The best part is, after you have done all this stuff, it all seems so ridiculously easy, and you will be able to make future adjustments almost without thinking about it, so your bike will always fit you well, stop and shift well, and ride quietly.

Fib 01-03-17 07:36 PM

Ok, looking at the picture again that HTupolev posted with the parts labeled, it looks like what I want to adjust is the stem? Not sure. But I labeled the things I'm pretty sure I need to loosen to do what I want to do, in this picture. I thought that would be considered adjusting the handlebars because looking at it, it looks like if you loosen the thing I circled in blue you can move the handle bars upward so I'm not leaning so far forward while riding, because that makes my back very tired.

Jadesfire 01-03-17 07:37 PM


Originally Posted by Fib (Post 19289245)
I promise you I am looking up all of this before I ask on here. I absolutely hate it when people ask for help with anything instead of using the resources they have. I looked up what kind of stems there are, then I looked up pictures of the two kinds I read about. I compared them to mine, decided which one I thought looked most like mine (I forgot which one though, because I kinda just set it aside for a while, while I learned more about my gears) then looked up videos about how to adjust the handlebars on a bike with that stem... They were all completely different, so that's why I asked on here. So pretty much, the only reason I couldn't figure it out myself was because I didn't know what kind of stem I have. Everything you guys are telling me, and the videos and links are helping a lot, and I think I can adjust it now. I just need another tool that I don't have. The first time I tried to loosen the things you guys are saying I need to loosen, I did it with an allen wrench but I only have one of the size I need, but I need two of that size. I'll have to talk to my parents about getting another one.

I know back then you had to use books, I actually really like books and have a library near by, I think I'll go there soon and look at what books they have about bikes and cycling.


Not an answer to this one issue, I know. But when you go searching on Youtube, look for the GCN network and their videos (if you haven't found them already). Some of their stuff is focused on racing, which it doesn't sound like you are interested in (maybe yet), but quite a few of them are geared towards learning the basics of bike maintenance and handling, and how to address a lot of simple problems. They've got cute accents, too.

Fib 01-03-17 07:37 PM

Ok, for some reason I can't post pictures.

Fib 01-03-17 07:43 PM


Originally Posted by Jadesfire (Post 19289309)
Not an answer to this one issue, I know. But when you go searching on Youtube, look for the GCN network and their videos (if you haven't found them already). Some of their stuff is focused on racing, which it doesn't sound like you are interested in (maybe yet), but quite a few of them are geared towards learning the basics of bike maintenance and handling, and how to address a lot of simple problems. They've got cute accents, too.

Ok, I'll look them up. Thank you.

Maelochs 01-03-17 08:10 PM

The stem is the part which runs longitudinally and connects the bars (which run perpendicular to the stem and top tube) to the steerer (which is the bit that sticks up out of the frame vertically (the steerer is under the cap on top of the stem and extends down through the head tube to the fork.)

Likely if you adjust the stem you will also need to adjust the bars because they will be at a new angle after yo swivel the stem.

You can also take off some of the spacers (the flat discs stacked vertically under the stem on top of the head tube (the steerer runs through the middle of the spacers vertically.) This will lower the stem ... but you need to be Very sure of what you are doing because you need to get the headset bearings set right. You shouldn't need to mess with any of that yet ... the adjustable stem will give you plenty of position options.

The head Tube is the nearly vertical tube atop which the stem attaches, which connects to the handlebars. if is the short, almost vertical tube in the front of the bike frame.

The Top Tube is the tube running longitudinally from the top of the Head Tube/handlebars/stem to the Seat Tube, which is the nearly vertical tube into which the seat post sticks.

The Down Tube is the angled tube from the bottom of the Head Tube to the Bottom Bracket, at the base of the Seat Tube (pics in the other thread identified the bottom bracket--it where where the pedals connect (or where the crank arms connect, actually.)

The Chain Stays are the nearly horizontal, longitudinal tubes connecting the bottom bracket to the rear wheel mounts ("dropouts.") The chain stays run by the chain.

The Seat Stays are the angled tubes connecting the rear dropouts to the Seat Tube.

If you are familiar with these terms it will be easier for the rest of us to advise you in the future.

shafter 01-04-17 08:44 AM

I am a fan of short helpful responses.

I assume you know by now that you have an adjustable stem and have looked up how to adjust it, so I won't tell you how.

1. Some things have an attitude and don't like being adjusted even when loose. Try whacking it when the screws are loose.

2. When I started biking my back hurt. I assumed it was just my stiff back stretching out and eventually it got better.


-good luck

52telecaster 01-04-17 08:56 AM


Originally Posted by maelochs (Post 19289076)
you know ... I am not stupid, and i have seen a lot of troll threads here ... But i am also not so fragile in my ego that i will not risk looking stupid, on the off chance that i might actually help somebody.

From what i see, a lot of posters here really need help.

Fib ... Are you trying to change the angle of your bars, or the stem (the piece you pictured above)? Two totally different actions ... Though if you move the stem, you might need to move the bars after anyway.

I strongly recommend going to youtube and looking up whatever you want to do---youtube has videos on everything from mining and smelting metal to drawing tubes to cutting and welding, .... About everything bike-related from starting with a handful of parts to having built a full bike.

Just search for what you need: "adjusting an adjustable stem," "adjusting handlebars" ... And there will be a bunch of videos---likely you will find one that works for you and your bike.

I ride a dawes, and have an adjustable stem from a dawes in some box in my garage. However ... I am too lazy to go look, and you will find what you need faster on youtube anyway.

If you are a troll ... Well done! Much better than what we have been getting lately.

As i said, i'd rather try to help and risk looking stupid, than risk alienating someone who wants help.

Or maybe i just like to try to show off how much i think i know and how many words i can type?

I have been taught that the greatest benefit of situations like this one, is that it shows you what is really inside you---if you care to look, and depending on how deeply you look. These others can post whatever, i don't care. I can look at my responses to them and you and learn about myself, and learn my strengths and weaknesses ... And strengthen my strengths and remove my flaws (hopefully.)

life is what happens whether we like it or not ... But our internal lives are what we make of who we are as it intersects with what life throws at us. I don't know how many people on this site see "improvement" as anything more than "biking faster and longer," and/or "seeming more witty than others on the web."

threads like this, i can be better, come to know myself better, learn to treat others better. Whatever stimulus gets me there ... Shouldn't i be grateful? Shouldn't i use it?

I might be damned slow on a bike, but if i can be honest with myself and others, kind and compassionate towards others, and tolerant of others' faults and flaws and petty attacks ... I really don't care how fast i ride.

Best i can do, as i understand things.

+1

52telecaster 01-04-17 09:03 AM

Hey fib,

Just to let you know, those stems are often a bit reticent but once you get the underneath binder bolt loose you'll have lots of adjustment. For another YouTube resource you might check out bikemanforyou. Further, one of the best sites on the web is Sheldon Brown's. Don't let jerks keep you from enjoying bikes. You're our future!

TenSpeedV2 01-04-17 09:51 AM

All I know is that my ex wife had an adjustable stem like this on a bike and it was nothing but a headache. No matter how tight you got it, it was still a bit loose. OP - would highly recommend getting a non adjustable stem. LBS may have something on the cheap from a parts bin.

Dan333SP 01-04-17 09:59 AM


Originally Posted by Jadesfire (Post 19289309)
They've got cute accents, too.

Lolz. I was watching the GCN Show when wifey got home yesterday.

"Dan, the only thing I hate more than British accents is hearing British people talking about bikes. Can we put something else on?"

I changed it to an old episode of Top Gear. She wasn't amused.

Fib 01-04-17 10:00 AM


Originally Posted by Maelochs (Post 19289374)
The stem is the part which runs longitudinally and connects the bars (which run perpendicular to the stem and top tube) to the steerer (which is the bit that sticks up out of the frame vertically (the steerer is under the cap on top of the stem and extends down through the head tube to the fork.)

Likely if you adjust the stem you will also need to adjust the bars because they will be at a new angle after yo swivel the stem.

You can also take off some of the spacers (the flat discs stacked vertically under the stem on top of the head tube (the steerer runs through the middle of the spacers vertically.) This will lower the stem ... but you need to be Very sure of what you are doing because you need to get the headset bearings set right. You shouldn't need to mess with any of that yet ... the adjustable stem will give you plenty of position options.

The head Tube is the nearly vertical tube atop which the stem attaches, which connects to the handlebars. if is the short, almost vertical tube in the front of the bike frame.

The Top Tube is the tube running longitudinally from the top of the Head Tube/handlebars/stem to the Seat Tube, which is the nearly vertical tube into which the seat post sticks.

The Down Tube is the angled tube from the bottom of the Head Tube to the Bottom Bracket, at the base of the Seat Tube (pics in the other thread identified the bottom bracket--it where where the pedals connect (or where the crank arms connect, actually.)

The Chain Stays are the nearly horizontal, longitudinal tubes connecting the bottom bracket to the rear wheel mounts ("dropouts.") The chain stays run by the chain.

The Seat Stays are the angled tubes connecting the rear dropouts to the Seat Tube.

If you are familiar with these terms it will be easier for the rest of us to advise you in the future.

Ok, thank you.

52telecaster 01-04-17 10:57 AM


Originally Posted by Dan333SP (Post 19290303)
Lolz. I was watching the GCN Show when wifey got home yesterday.

"Dan, the only thing I hate more than British accents is hearing British people talking about bikes. Can we put something else on?"

I changed it to an old episode of Top Gear. She wasn't amused.

Thanks for the laugh.

nycphotography 01-04-17 11:56 AM


Originally Posted by Maelochs (Post 19289268)
To adjust Just the handlebars, you should only need the one allen wrench. The stem might take two.

I strongly suggest getting a cheap multi-tool .... and aside from that I'd say one of these (https://www.walmart.com/ip/Bell-Foun...rench/35732020) is the tool I use most, because most fittings on most modern bikes are one of three sizes. I got mine for $5 at Wal-Mart .... the price quoted here is higher, but if you are ever in Wal-mart maybe see for yourself.

The best part is, after you have done all this stuff, it all seems so ridiculously easy, and you will be able to make future adjustments almost without thinking about it, so your bike will always fit you well, stop and shift well, and ride quietly.

As part of a first set of tools, get a complete set of "metric long arm allen wrenches".

More general purpose than a 3-way. And you will eventually need more sizes.

Most sets come with a plastic holder to keep them together and sorted when not in use. You want this plastic holder. Trust me.

"Long Arm" wrenches give better leverage in the shop.

You need Metric sizes for your bike.

Don't get "ball socket" ones because they are more likely to strip / wear out, especially on the smaller sizes, and are almost never necessary, particularly as a first set.

Husky Metric Long Arm Hex Key Set (13-Piece)-HLAHKM13PC - The Home Depot

nycphotography 01-04-17 12:22 PM

And finally, take this for what it's worth, but I'll call it the "grown up advice for the internet".

This is perhaps the hardest thing about growing up and learning to deal in the big ugly real world, but if you can learn to NOT REACT to things, you will be able to walk into hostile situations and conduct yourself with APLOMB.

DO NOT REACT. TRIAGE / OBSERVE / ANALYZE, then ACT with full intent.

When attacked, figure out what the attack is saying about the attacker (someone is on a crusade against trolls), and what it is saying about you (maybe it's not even an attack on you, maybe you just misinterpreted it?), and what it is saying about the context/situation (there be trolls about these parts). When you have those three things, then you can ACT (in control) in order to further your goals, rather than REACTING (loss of control both of self and also of the interaction) which furthers their goals and usually is detrimental to your own goals.

In this case, simply say "I'm a 16 y/o girl and I would just like help with my bicycle." Period.

Simply don't respond to the trolling... and defintitely don't let it get to you, or at least don't let it SHOW that it got to you. Don't say "don't harass me, stop this, don't do that". It basically looks like weakness and insecurity on your part, and it lets the discussion get sidelined into places that are not about helping you fix your bike. Shakespeare: The lady doth protest too much.

Also, the mods can figure out a sock puppet PDQ. Rather than argue with a someone, just click the "report post" button, and rather than TELL anyone anything, ASK "why is this guy attacking me? What did I do wrong?".

Or even ask in the thread. When you get yor answer, simply state "oh. Well you're wrong, that wasn't me." and then consider it asked and answered.

Consider the difference here: You are humbly asking for help, for guidance, for understanding, without ego. Versus thrashing out to defend your honor, your self image, your ego. You do not have to defend your honor with words, because the your honor will guide your actions and will always show true eventually.

FINALLY: do your best to demonstrate that you are using/considering/researching the advice offered. Simply reporting back on steps taken and on progress goes a long way towards encouraging useful input and discouraging useless/sarcastic input.

All that said, there are obviously a lot of grown ass people who clearly don't understand the grown up world. But don't take that as an excuse for why you don't have to or shouldn't need to. Simply recognize it for what it is, while continuing to work on your own self.

Jadesfire 01-04-17 12:24 PM

1 Attachment(s)

Originally Posted by dan333sp (Post 19290303)
lolz. I was watching the gcn show when wifey got home yesterday.

"dan, the only thing i hate more than british accents is hearing british people talking about bikes. Can we put something else on?"

i changed it to an old episode of top gear. She wasn't amused.

Attachment 547880

Maelochs 01-04-17 03:24 PM


Originally Posted by shafter (Post 19290112)
I am a fan of short helpful responses. 1. Some things have an attitude and don't like being adjusted even when loose. Try whacking it when the screws are loose. -good luck

In other words... Bigger Hammer.

Always the solution. :) (Well, always my favorite ... :) )

Originally Posted by TenSpeedV2 (Post 19290285)
All I know is that my ex wife had an adjustable stem like this on a bike and it was nothing but a headache. No matter how tight you got it, it was still a bit loose. OP - would highly recommend getting a non adjustable stem. LBS may have something on the cheap from a parts bin.

I used an adjustable stem on my Dawes for a couple thousand miles with no issue, so maybe they vary in quality from unit to unit.

I found it really useful until I got my riding position dialed in---then I bought the correct length and angle solid stem without the trial-and-error process stem-buying can involve.

The fact that she wants to adjust explains the value.

And finally ... [MENTION=62218]NYC[/MENTION]photographer .... shouldn't that be a sticky on every page here?

Fib 01-04-17 06:13 PM


Originally Posted by Maelochs (Post 19289374)
The stem is the part which runs longitudinally and connects the bars (which run perpendicular to the stem and top tube) to the steerer (which is the bit that sticks up out of the frame vertically (the steerer is under the cap on top of the stem and extends down through the head tube to the fork.)

Likely if you adjust the stem you will also need to adjust the bars because they will be at a new angle after yo swivel the stem.

You can also take off some of the spacers (the flat discs stacked vertically under the stem on top of the head tube (the steerer runs through the middle of the spacers vertically.) This will lower the stem ... but you need to be Very sure of what you are doing because you need to get the headset bearings set right. You shouldn't need to mess with any of that yet ... the adjustable stem will give you plenty of position options.

The head Tube is the nearly vertical tube atop which the stem attaches, which connects to the handlebars. if is the short, almost vertical tube in the front of the bike frame.

The Top Tube is the tube running longitudinally from the top of the Head Tube/handlebars/stem to the Seat Tube, which is the nearly vertical tube into which the seat post sticks.

The Down Tube is the angled tube from the bottom of the Head Tube to the Bottom Bracket, at the base of the Seat Tube (pics in the other thread identified the bottom bracket--it where where the pedals connect (or where the crank arms connect, actually.)

The Chain Stays are the nearly horizontal, longitudinal tubes connecting the bottom bracket to the rear wheel mounts ("dropouts.") The chain stays run by the chain.

The Seat Stays are the angled tubes connecting the rear dropouts to the Seat Tube.

If you are familiar with these terms it will be easier for the rest of us to advise you in the future.

Ok

Fib 01-04-17 06:15 PM


Originally Posted by 52telecaster (Post 19290164)
Hey fib,

Just to let you know, those stems are often a bit reticent but once you get the underneath binder bolt loose you'll have lots of adjustment. For another YouTube resource you might check out bikemanforyou. Further, one of the best sites on the web is Sheldon Brown's. Don't let jerks keep you from enjoying bikes. Your our future!

Ok, thank you. I'll look them up.

Fib 01-04-17 06:17 PM


Originally Posted by TenSpeedV2 (Post 19290285)
All I know is that my ex wife had an adjustable stem like this on a bike and it was nothing but a headache. No matter how tight you got it, it was still a bit loose. OP - would highly recommend getting a non adjustable stem. LBS may have something on the cheap from a parts bin.

Yeah, I'm sure it probably is. I don't know if my parents will get me a new stem, they might want me to just be happy with what I got. Which I am, it's a pretty nice bike and I don't think I'll be making very many adjustments to it. So I think I'll be fine with it, thank you for the suggestion though :)

Fib 01-04-17 06:19 PM


Originally Posted by nycphotography (Post 19290625)
As part of a first set of tools, get a complete set of "metric long arm allen wrenches".

More general purpose than a 3-way. And you will eventually need more sizes.

Most sets come with a plastic holder to keep them together and sorted when not in use. You want this plastic holder. Trust me.

"Long Arm" wrenches give better leverage in the shop.

You need Metric sizes for your bike.

Don't get "ball socket" ones because they are more likely to strip / wear out, especially on the smaller sizes, and are almost never necessary, particularly as a first set.

Husky Metric Long Arm Hex Key Set (13-Piece)-HLAHKM13PC - The Home Depot

Ok thank you. I'll look into that.

Fib 01-04-17 06:30 PM


Originally Posted by nycphotography (Post 19290709)
And finally, take this for what it's worth, but I'll call it the "grown up advice for the internet".

This is perhaps the hardest thing about growing up and learning to deal in the big ugly real world, but if you can learn to NOT REACT to things, you will be able to walk into hostile situations and conduct yourself with APLOMB.

DO NOT REACT. TRIAGE / OBSERVE / ANALYZE, then ACT with full intent.

When attacked, figure out what the attack is saying about the attacker (someone is on a crusade against trolls), and what it is saying about you (maybe it's not even an attack on you, maybe you just misinterpreted it?), and what it is saying about the context/situation (there be trolls about these parts). When you have those three things, then you can ACT (in control) in order to further your goals, rather than REACTING (loss of control both of self and also of the interaction) which furthers their goals and usually is detrimental to your own goals.

In this case, simply say "I'm a 16 y/o girl and I would just like help with my bicycle." Period.

Simply don't respond to the trolling... and defintitely don't let it get to you, or at least don't let it SHOW that it got to you. Don't say "don't harass me, stop this, don't do that". It basically looks like weakness and insecurity on your part, and it lets the discussion get sidelined into places that are not about helping you fix your bike. Shakespeare: The lady doth protest too much.

Also, the mods can figure out a sock puppet PDQ. Rather than argue with a someone, just click the "report post" button, and rather than TELL anyone anything, ASK "why is this guy attacking me? What did I do wrong?".

Or even ask in the thread. When you get yor answer, simply state "oh. Well you're wrong, that wasn't me." and then consider it asked and answered.

Consider the difference here: You are humbly asking for help, for guidance, for understanding, without ego. Versus thrashing out to defend your honor, your self image, your ego. You do not have to defend your honor with words, because the your honor will guide your actions and will always show true eventually.

FINALLY: do your best to demonstrate that you are using/considering/researching the advice offered. Simply reporting back on steps taken and on progress goes a long way towards encouraging useful input and discouraging useless/sarcastic input.

All that said, there are obviously a lot of grown ass people who clearly don't understand the grown up world. But don't take that as an excuse for why you don't have to or shouldn't need to. Simply recognize it for what it is, while continuing to work on your own self.

Thank you for the advice/lesson. I know how I reacted was immature, and I should've just ignored them, or dealt with it more maturely. It just bothered me that people get annoyed when a teenager uses like, say slang or, you know how teenagers talk. But when they talk maturely (which I think is what they were saying I was doing and why they thought/think I am a troll) everybody accuses them of being fake or a troll (on the internet), or in real life they're accused of trying to impress an adult. Obviously, based on my reaction to being accused of being a troll I'm still immature in ways (and I know I have a lot to learn about a lot of stuff still), but I do believe I am kind of mature for my age, maybe not, but I mean, I'm proud of how mature I am, whether more mature than most people my age or if it's average... But it just bothered me that people can't respect me, respect that everybody talks differently. They could have left the thread, went to my profile and clicked the "ignore" button... But now that I think about it, I could have done that too. I guess (almost) everybody involved in it(including me) were pretty much equally immature.

Anyway, again, thank you for the advice/lesson.

Fib 01-04-17 09:17 PM


Originally Posted by nycphotography (Post 19290709)
And finally, take this for what it's worth, but I'll call it the "grown up advice for the internet".

This is perhaps the hardest thing about growing up and learning to deal in the big ugly real world, but if you can learn to NOT REACT to things, you will be able to walk into hostile situations and conduct yourself with APLOMB.

DO NOT REACT. TRIAGE / OBSERVE / ANALYZE, then ACT with full intent.

When attacked, figure out what the attack is saying about the attacker (someone is on a crusade against trolls), and what it is saying about you (maybe it's not even an attack on you, maybe you just misinterpreted it?), and what it is saying about the context/situation (there be trolls about these parts). When you have those three things, then you can ACT (in control) in order to further your goals, rather than REACTING (loss of control both of self and also of the interaction) which furthers their goals and usually is detrimental to your own goals.

In this case, simply say "I'm a 16 y/o girl and I would just like help with my bicycle." Period.

Simply don't respond to the trolling... and defintitely don't let it get to you, or at least don't let it SHOW that it got to you. Don't say "don't harass me, stop this, don't do that". It basically looks like weakness and insecurity on your part, and it lets the discussion get sidelined into places that are not about helping you fix your bike. Shakespeare: The lady doth protest too much.

Also, the mods can figure out a sock puppet PDQ. Rather than argue with a someone, just click the "report post" button, and rather than TELL anyone anything, ASK "why is this guy attacking me? What did I do wrong?".

Or even ask in the thread. When you get yor answer, simply state "oh. Well you're wrong, that wasn't me." and then consider it asked and answered.

Consider the difference here: You are humbly asking for help, for guidance, for understanding, without ego. Versus thrashing out to defend your honor, your self image, your ego. You do not have to defend your honor with words, because the your honor will guide your actions and will always show true eventually.

FINALLY: do your best to demonstrate that you are using/considering/researching the advice offered. Simply reporting back on steps taken and on progress goes a long way towards encouraging useful input and discouraging useless/sarcastic input.

All that said, there are obviously a lot of grown ass people who clearly don't understand the grown up world. But don't take that as an excuse for why you don't have to or shouldn't need to. Simply recognize it for what it is, while continuing to work on your own self.

Also, this is completely unrelated to the topic, but I noticed your username had "photography" in it, are you a photographer?


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