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Most Ugly or Stupidest Named Bike

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Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Most Ugly or Stupidest Named Bike

Old 01-17-18, 06:06 AM
  #1  
raria
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Most Ugly or Stupidest Named Bike

I think I have a single bike that wins both categories:

I've seen a few of these lately. It's a well crafted bike (nice glossy paint) but then it goes down hill.

The first thing that draws you in is the vomit colored top-tube with weird contours, then you realize that the pink/black fork doesn't even match the frame. Finally you get up close enough to see what type of moron would buy such a bike and you see the words 'SPACE CHICKEN' on it.

There was an episode of the Simpsons, where Homer designs a car. It's all mis-matched and the colors are all wrong. This would be the bike that Homer Simpson designs.

Even the more mundane red/black version has big blotches of bird sh*t on the down tube around the bottle cages (I kid you not).

https://d2plslj6xljffa.cloudfront.ne...-FG_P1.jpg?v=b
https://www.planetx.co.uk/c/q/bikes/.../space-chicken

But to answer my question, what moron buys such a bike. A fairly wealthy one. It cost upwards of $2500.

Last edited by raria; 01-17-18 at 06:15 AM.
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Old 01-17-18, 08:34 AM
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I like it. I like the name, too.

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Old 01-17-18, 09:00 AM
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If you need to words "Street Cred" on your bike to give you street cred you have no street cred.


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Old 01-17-18, 09:02 AM
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At first I thought you meant named by the owner, like “Brad”. Now that is stupid no matter what the name is. As is calling a bike “he” or “she” or “my baby’”. Grow the **** up.
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Old 01-17-18, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker View Post
As is calling a bike “he” or “she” or “my baby’”.
+1. I have never felt the slightest urge to "sex" my bikes or give them names, including pet names.
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Old 01-17-18, 09:19 AM
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Originally Posted by RPK79 View Post
I like it. I like the name, too.

Me too.
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Old 01-17-18, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker View Post
At first I thought you meant named by the owner, like “Brad”. Now that is stupid no matter what the name is. As is calling a bike “he” or “she” or “my baby’”. Grow the **** up.
Well, my bikes 'kinda' have names that were mostly given by my wife. But the names don't really get used much, at least not by me. Most of my bikes are, or were not new to me. Generally, the names are adapted from where I obtained the bike. My old Motobacane is sometimes known as "Vern." My old Peugeot is "Eric." And my old Tunturi is known as "Trash"...because I dragged it out of someone's trash heap and rebuilt it. I have a full CF bike that I bought new a couple years ago. It's all black and white. She calls it "Snoopy."

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Old 01-17-18, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
+1. I have never felt the slightest urge to "sex" my bikes or give them names, including pet names.

+2
Also, I too think that the frame looks nice.
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Old 01-17-18, 09:44 AM
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I thought we had come to a consensus on this, that the horror that is the one-two-punch of the Cyrusher and the Machete cannot be beaten. Same frame, different treatments-- but both do include kickstands.



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Old 01-17-18, 10:38 AM
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I'll take that over any flat black bike any day.
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Old 01-17-18, 10:51 AM
  #11  
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I don't like that bike (who needs that many spare wheels?). But maybe I'll take the purple suit?

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Old 01-17-18, 10:58 AM
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Originally Posted by DrIsotope View Post
I thought we had come to a consensus on this, that the horror that is the one-two-punch of the Cyrusher and the Machete cannot be beaten. Same frame, different treatments-- but both do include kickstands.
I would love to have the opportunity to ride them just to experience how crappy they are.
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Old 01-17-18, 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by raria View Post

The first thing that draws you in is the vomit colored top-tube .....

if your vomit is that color, perhaps you should seek medical attention?
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Old 01-17-18, 11:16 AM
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GM No Va was hard to top , a car named; Doesn't Go..
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Old 01-17-18, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker View Post
At first I thought you meant named by the owner, like “Brad”. Now that is stupid no matter what the name is. As is calling a bike “he” or “she” or “my baby’”. Grow the **** up.

What are you talking about...Brad is an awesome name!
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Old 01-17-18, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted by RPK79 View Post
I like it. I like the name, too.

On a white background it looks passable, but when you see it on the street it just looks horrible.

The problem is that the color and intensities are just not of this earth. Everything around you has a nice muted intensity to it, this is the complete opposite.

Your eyes kind of hurt after looking at it for a while and the fork not matching at all the frame is just weird. It's kind of like the designer was Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

As for the name, 'Space Chicken' would get old really fast and you'd be stuck with it. The stickers are under the gloss so your really stuck with it.
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Old 01-17-18, 12:06 PM
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Old 01-17-18, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by raria View Post
On a white background it looks passable, but when you see it on the street it just looks horrible.

The problem is that the color and intensities are just not of this earth. Everything around you has a nice muted intensity to it, this is the complete opposite.

Your eyes kind of hurt after looking at it for a while and the fork not matching at all the frame is just weird. It's kind of like the designer was Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

As for the name, 'Space Chicken' would get old really fast and you'd be stuck with it. The stickers are under the gloss so your really stuck with it.
I'm liking it even more.
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Old 01-17-18, 12:18 PM
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Pee wee herman or forest gump?

Not sure who would feel more at home on this. Pee Wee or Mr Grump.

What is the HT angle on that. Looks awfully steep, but I guess that would make it very quick to steer which is important when your weaving through the crowds.

Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
If you need to words "Street Cred" on your bike to give you street cred you have no street cred.


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Old 01-17-18, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by _ForceD_ View Post
Well, my bikes 'kinda' have names that were mostly given by my wife. But the names don't really get used much, at least not by me. Most of my bikes are, or were not new to me. Generally, the names are adapted from where I obtained the bike. My old Motobacane is sometimes known as "Vern." My old Peugeot is "Eric." And my old Tunturi is known as "Trash"...because I dragged it out of someone's trash heap and rebuilt it. I have a full CF bike that I bought new a couple years ago. It's all black and white. She calls it "Snoopy."

Dan
That was a sneaky bid for approval, but it ain’t coming from me.
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Old 01-17-18, 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted by raria View Post
The problem is that the color and intensities are just not of this earth.
Yeah, road cycling isn't a place for loud colors, never has been.
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Old 01-17-18, 12:50 PM
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Originally Posted by rpenmanparker View Post
At first I thought you meant named by the owner, like “Brad”. Now that is stupid no matter what the name is. As is calling a bike “he” or “she” or “my baby’”. Grow the **** up.
Well just about all my friends have names for their manhood. So naming a bike seems a little more civil.
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Old 01-17-18, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by raria View Post
Well just about all my friends have names for their manhood. So naming a bike seems a little more civil.
Eerm... aah... I wouldn't name that either. Moving right along...
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Old 01-17-18, 01:44 PM
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Originally Posted by WhyFi View Post
Yeah, road cycling isn't a place for loud colors, never has been.
I've been told that, but I ride a bright orange KTM Revelator and I love it! And I feel like the bright color stands out and helps me be seen better by drivers and such.. even if it doesn't, I feel like it does and that gives me a sense of security and safety
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Old 01-17-18, 02:01 PM
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Those Pinarellos that look like Jafar's knife.

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