Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Road Cycling
Reload this Page >

Vernacular for Serious Cyclists

Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Vernacular for Serious Cyclists

Old 07-25-18, 07:20 AM
  #1  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Vernacular for Serious Cyclists

While there are lots of threads and advice on getting the right equipment and kit for group rides, and how to behave without getting yelled at, there's hardly any about the particular jargon and subject matter needed to truly fit in. Say you've stopped at Starbucks, you've got your bibs and click shoes, and there's a small group of similarly attired enthusiasts there. Maybe someone asks about your ride (or is that a faux pas?) What sorts of things do you say to fit in naturally, or to infiltrate depending on your predilection? On the flip side, what are some of the most awkward remarks you've heard that instantly brand a newbie or poser?
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:25 AM
  #2  
tagaproject6
Senior Member
 
tagaproject6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 8,273

Bikes: Wilier Izoard XP (Record);Cinelli Xperience (Force);Specialized Allez (Rival);Bianchi Via Nirone 7 (Centaur); Colnago AC-R Disc;Colnago V1r Limited Edition;De Rosa King 3 Limited(Force 22);DeRosa Merak(Red):Pinarello Dogma 65.1 Hydro(Di2)

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 452 Post(s)
Liked 47 Times in 33 Posts
"Serious cyclists" don't stop at Starbucks.
tagaproject6 is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:28 AM
  #3  
MoAlpha
• —
 
MoAlpha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Land of Pleasant Living
Posts: 2,391

Bikes: Occasionally

Mentioned: 29 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1349 Post(s)
Liked 57 Times in 42 Posts
Not in stretchy outfits and clicky shoes, anywayz.
MoAlpha is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:42 AM
  #4  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Originally Posted by tagaproject6 View Post
"Serious cyclists" don't stop at Starbucks.
Damn, so I'm already committing a cultural error. OK, in the places they do show up then, same question.
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:43 AM
  #5  
Colnago Mixte
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Center of Central CA
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 897 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Speak as you would in any social situation. If you want to be accepted, randomly sprinkle in words from the following list, even if you don’t know what they mean. Just speak confidently as if you know what you're talking about:

“lugged”
“intervals”
“paceline”
“Campy”
“drop out”
“headset”
“Strava”
“seat stay”

Conversely, if you want to be unpopular among your fellow cyclists, I would suggest that you review and imitate my posts and posting style, because whatever I'm doing seems to be working quite well.
Colnago Mixte is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:43 AM
  #6  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Originally Posted by MoAlpha View Post
Not in stretchy outfits and clicky shoes, anywayz.
So the Starbucks crowd are posers ... what gives them away?
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:47 AM
  #7  
indyfabz
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 22,411
Mentioned: 163 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8616 Post(s)
Liked 353 Times in 227 Posts
Serious cyclists don't stop. Period.
indyfabz is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:50 AM
  #8  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Originally Posted by Colnago Mixte View Post
Speak as you would in any social situation. If you want to be accepted, randomly sprinkle in words from the following list, even if you don’t know what they mean. Just speak confidently as if you know what you're talking about:

“lugged”
“intervals”
“paceline”
“Campy”
“drop out”
“headset”
“Strava”
“seat stay”

Conversely, if you want to be unpopular among your fellow cyclists, I would suggest that you review and imitate my posts and posting style, because whatever I'm doing seems to be working quite well.
That's the helpful stuff we're looking for. Keep it coming. Maybe someone can come up with a mnemonic to remember the word list, like "Mom Visits Every Monday, Just Stays Until Noon"
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:54 AM
  #9  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
Serious cyclists don't stop. Period.
Not even to fuel with quick carbohydrates, and to hydrate and replenish the electrolyte balance? Did I say that right?
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 07:59 AM
  #10  
Colnago Mixte
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Center of Central CA
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 897 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
"My legs are Fried"
"Hold your Line!"
"Steel is Real"
"No Pain No Gain"
"Chase and face"
"My Glutes are Screamin"
"Electrolytes"
Colnago Mixte is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:10 AM
  #11  
indyfabz
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 22,411
Mentioned: 163 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8616 Post(s)
Liked 353 Times in 227 Posts
Originally Posted by wphamilton View Post
Not even to fuel with quick carbohydrates, and to hydrate and replenish the electrolyte balance? Did I say that right?
That you have to ask means you are not a serious cyclists and thus have no need (or right) to be privy to serious cyclist jargon.

/thread
indyfabz is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:32 AM
  #12  
Seattle Forrest
Senior Member
 
Seattle Forrest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 19,083
Mentioned: 43 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7991 Post(s)
Liked 194 Times in 127 Posts
Originally Posted by wphamilton View Post
Not even to fuel with quick carbohydrates, and to hydrate and replenish the electrolyte balance? Did I say that right?
Carbs! Ride fuel! Gonna bonk!
Seattle Forrest is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:40 AM
  #13  
MoAlpha
• —
 
MoAlpha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Land of Pleasant Living
Posts: 2,391

Bikes: Occasionally

Mentioned: 29 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1349 Post(s)
Liked 57 Times in 42 Posts
Originally Posted by wphamilton View Post
So the Starbucks crowd are posers ... what gives them away?
I doubt I'd meet local criteria for serious these days, but when I go full geek it's to get an outdoor workout as far from heavy traffic and efficiently and enjoyably as possible, not to get stiff and cold while drinking expensive coffee, which could even force me to risk arrest or poison ivy if I have to pee 15 min later. For me, this is taking riding seriously. That said, I have nothing against SBUX (the stock has done very nicely for my wife) and would have no objection to stopping there if I were merely tootling about in casual clothing.

As for anyone else, I won't characterize them (here) in positive terms as poseurs, freds, etc.
MoAlpha is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:42 AM
  #14  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
That you have to ask means you are not a serious cyclists and thus have no need (or right) to be privy to serious cyclist jargon.

/thread
While that may be true, I have a desire to know and you can't stop me.

Now that we already know about chase and face while your glutes are screaming, the cat's already out of the bag. How many carbs are in a double-tall anyway, and do you add electrolytes?
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:46 AM
  #15  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Originally Posted by MoAlpha View Post
I doubt I'd meet local criteria for serious these days, but when I go full geek it's to get an outdoor workout as far from heavy traffic and efficiently and enjoyably as possible, not to get stiff and cold while drinking expensive coffee, which could even force me to risk arrest or poison ivy if I have to pee 15 min later. For me, this is taking riding seriously. That said, I have nothing against SBUX (the stock has done very nicely for my wife) and would have no objection to stopping there if I were merely tootling about in casual clothing.

As for anyone else, I won't characterize them (here) in positive terms as poseurs, freds, etc.
Aside: they let you use the bathrooms there now, even if you don't buy cold coffee. But seriously it's not nice to pull my leg just because I'm not in the serious cycling scene, and I know I've seen them at Starbucks. It's the only reason I'd go IN one, I don't drink that stuff.
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:51 AM
  #16  
Colnago Mixte
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Center of Central CA
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 897 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Overheard at the local Starbucks:

Snobby Biker "A": “Have you tried the new Shimano NC-17 titanium pedals? They're 17% lighter and 47% more aerodynamic.”

Snobby Biker "B": "I always liked the more traditional Shimano PG-13 ones better, but that’s just me. Besides I can’t justify spending anything over $4,000 on a set of pedals.”
Colnago Mixte is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:51 AM
  #17  
MagicHour
Senior Member
 
MagicHour's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: NYC
Posts: 831
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 74 Post(s)
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
It's all in here, enjoy and good luck

MagicHour is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:57 AM
  #18  
Aubergine 
Bad example
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Seattle and Reims
Posts: 2,938
Mentioned: 33 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 771 Post(s)
Liked 17 Times in 14 Posts
Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
Serious cyclists don't stop. Period.
Of course we do, when there is a cafe along the road offering a find selection of pastries, wines, and local beers.
__________________
Keeping Seattle’s bike shops in business since 1978
Aubergine is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 08:58 AM
  #19  
tagaproject6
Senior Member
 
tagaproject6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 8,273

Bikes: Wilier Izoard XP (Record);Cinelli Xperience (Force);Specialized Allez (Rival);Bianchi Via Nirone 7 (Centaur); Colnago AC-R Disc;Colnago V1r Limited Edition;De Rosa King 3 Limited(Force 22);DeRosa Merak(Red):Pinarello Dogma 65.1 Hydro(Di2)

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 452 Post(s)
Liked 47 Times in 33 Posts
Bananas, pickle juice
tagaproject6 is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 09:04 AM
  #20  
ksryder
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 1,846

Bikes: yes

Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 740 Post(s)
Liked 81 Times in 46 Posts
You have to say a bunch of things about watts per kilogram and FTP and 3-second power.

Also you have to curse at your Garmin a bunch because it probably has failed again.
ksryder is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 09:07 AM
  #21  
Colnago Mixte
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Center of Central CA
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 897 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by MagicHour View Post
It's all in here, enjoy and good luck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMCkuqL9IcM


It's all there.
Colnago Mixte is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 09:09 AM
  #22  
Maelochs
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 11,498

Bikes: 2015 Workswell 066, 2014 Dawes Sheila, 1983 Cannondale 500, 1984 Raleigh Olympian, 2007 Cannondale Rize 4, 2017 Fuji Sportif 1 LE

Mentioned: 136 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5449 Post(s)
Liked 115 Times in 76 Posts
Pretend you are light--headed and unable to catch your breath because you have been riding so hard ... that way you won't say the wrong thing.

If someone persists say, "I am between EPO cycles, so my VO2 is a little low, sorry."
Maelochs is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 09:13 AM
  #23  
MoAlpha
• —
 
MoAlpha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Land of Pleasant Living
Posts: 2,391

Bikes: Occasionally

Mentioned: 29 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1349 Post(s)
Liked 57 Times in 42 Posts
Your quads are stunning! May I touch?
MoAlpha is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 09:15 AM
  #24  
wphamilton
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
wphamilton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 14,535

Bikes: Nashbar Road

Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2506 Post(s)
Liked 55 Times in 33 Posts
Originally Posted by Maelochs View Post
Pretend you are light--headed and unable to catch your breath because you have been riding so hard ... that way you won't say the wrong thing.

If someone persists say, "I am between EPO cycles, so my VO2 is a little low, sorry."
"between EPO cycles" I'll bet that works!
wphamilton is offline  
Old 07-25-18, 09:19 AM
  #25  
Bah Humbug
runner
 
Bah Humbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Austin
Posts: 13,180

Bikes: Cervelo S1

Mentioned: 111 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3572 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by wphamilton View Post
Not even to fuel with quick carbohydrates, and to hydrate and replenish the electrolyte balance? Did I say that right?
Hell-for-leather from wire to wire. Bonus points for the Tony Martin ram air intake.

Given your post count, I'm assuming this thread is humor.
Bah Humbug is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.