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Massive newbie mistake... anyone a bigger idiot?

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Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Massive newbie mistake... anyone a bigger idiot?

Old 06-20-19, 02:38 PM
  #1  
Hanky1984
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Massive newbie mistake... anyone a bigger idiot?

So.... Had my bike a week and loving it. But until today I've been feeling a bit disheartened. I've been struggling with hills, big time struggling!! As a big guy (over 300lbs) I expected to struggle, but I squat 230kg/500lbs so thought "I've got the leg power, I can do this", had a go at a local hill aptly named "Heartbreak Hill" part of the Welsh Iron Man stage, I made it 3/4 of the way up and felt light headed, was blowing out of my arse, with a heart rate of 178bpm (my max is 185). I couldn't help thinking "how the **** do other people do this, this is impossible" and "I'm never going to be fit enough, I'd have to lose 150lbs".

Until today.... On a downhill I felt good and thought that I would see how fast I could go so for the first time I decided to venture into the realm of gears 11-20!!! Started peddeling and nothing, went up a few gears... Nothing. Turns out I have only used speeds 11-20 for my first 90 odd miles and have only today discovered gears 1-10. It's quite a bit easier, isn't it!! Haha.

Anyone out there a bigger idiot? Beat that!!
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Old 06-20-19, 03:05 PM
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GuitarBob
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You're on the steep part of the learning curve -- you'll be a pro in no time! Good on ya.
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Old 06-20-19, 08:34 PM
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Bmach
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That has to be the dumbest mistake I ever heard of. Are you really that d...? No, just kidding that is to funny.
I know of someone that drove to a group ride and forgot to bring their bike.

I personally went on vacation and forgot to load my cycling clothes. Good excuse to by more though.
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Old 06-20-19, 08:45 PM
  #4  
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Everyone has tried to pump up a tire without opening the valve. Anyone who says they haven't is lying.
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Old 06-20-19, 09:10 PM
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Originally Posted by seau grateau View Post
Everyone has tried to pump up a tire without opening the valve. Anyone who says they haven't is lying.

Heck i did this last night! Lol
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Old 06-20-19, 10:45 PM
  #6  
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Had a headset come lose on a new bike. Did it up. Crushed the carbon steering tube.

Top that
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Old 06-20-19, 11:14 PM
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When I was new to clipless I remember trying to clip out but just couldn't, and just fell over at a stop light. It was pretty dang embarrassing lol.
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Old 06-21-19, 12:22 AM
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Originally Posted by seau grateau View Post
Everyone has tried to pump up a tire without opening the valve. Anyone who says they haven't is lying.
4 years into riding and I've done that like couple days ago

(never skip morning coffee)
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Old 06-21-19, 02:10 AM
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Ditto, trying to fill a tire without cracking open the valve. Like, at least once a week.

Lessee, other dumb stuff... oh, yeah, recently crosschained big ring and biggest cog. Fortunately I'd cut the chain just long enough to handle it without ripping the derailleur off. Usually I triple check that stuff before riding but not that day. I'd just cut a new chain and only matched the length of the previous chain without actually testing on the bike stand before riding.

Back in the 1970s or early '80s, when I was young and dumb instead of old and dumb, I degreased my hubs and replaced them with just WD40 before a 75 mile ride that included a 50 mph downhill. Afterward I was sure the hubs would show signs of overheating but nope, they were fine. Got away with it that once. Never tried oil instead of grease in hubs again.

Drafted a truck in Mexico, up to 50 mph. Got away with it. That time. Never again.

Before another 250 mile ride, overhauled the perfectly good bottom bracket, hubs, etc., which didn't need any attention. Stayed up too late wasting time and energy on that mess, instead of sleeping. Was so exhausted I hardly remember the actual ride.

Turned to offer a friendly reply to a fellow sitting on a bench alongside the MUP. Didn't notice the paved path forking. Clipped the ledge of the pavement. Cracked some ribs. I can never seem to remember it never pays to be friendly to strangers in public, so I keep doing it anyway. Minus the cracked ribs.

Seriously, the good experiences cycling far surpass the handful of kerfluffles, even the getting-hit-by-a-car stuff.
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Old 06-21-19, 03:00 AM
  #10  
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The best time to forget to open the valve is when you’re using your only c02 cartridge.
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Old 06-21-19, 04:48 AM
  #11  
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Tried to bang in loose bar end plug while riding. Don’t try it!
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Old 06-21-19, 05:35 AM
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When I converted from Road to MTB, I didn't really get the whole down-shift thing, and ended up breaking my chain several times. I got really good at fixing it, but after a while it got too short, so I had to get a new one. About that time I figured things out.
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Old 06-21-19, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by MyTi View Post
When I was new to clipless I remember trying to clip out but just couldn't, and just fell over at a stop light. It was pretty dang embarrassing lol.
Yep! this is a right of passage of sorts for new on clipless systems.

I got clipless and was riding with my son. He stops just for random anything so I should have known better. I was following him and he stopped to blow the fluff off a dandelion. I couldn't unclip and fell over. My then 6 year old son thought it was funny as H$LL! for the next year he would stop short and see if I would fall, it was a game. I got REALLY good on clipless pedals really fast. Probably a great training for me.

He still laughs about it to this day!
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Old 06-21-19, 07:13 AM
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Originally Posted by datlas View Post
Tried to bang in loose bar end plug while riding. Don’t try it!
Hah!
Did this one and almost crashed once.
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Old 06-21-19, 07:25 AM
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If you didn't hurt yourself or damage your equipment, I'd say that you could have done much, much worse.
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Old 06-21-19, 07:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Hanky1984 View Post
Anyone out there a bigger idiot? Beat that!!


I consistently surprise myself with my own bike-related stupidity. Three recent incidents that jump immediately to mind:

1. Putting headset bearing cages in upside down. I've done it twice in the last year. If there's even one possible way to assemble something backwards I will find it.

2. Trying to bunny hop a pothole while riding a fixed gear road bike. (crashed hard and banged up hip)

3. Sprinted for a red light on a bike I had just rebuilt, and discovered I forgot to tighten down the stem, which came loose at high speed whilst throwing the bike from side to side. Lost control and almost crashed, and went into a curb instead, not even knowing what had happened until I came to a complete stop. Which was much better than going into oncoming traffic. * phew! *
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Old 06-21-19, 08:06 AM
  #17  
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Originally Posted by Lemond1985 View Post
2. Trying to bunny hop a pothole while riding a fixed gear road bike. (crashed hard and banged up hip)
That one is gonna be hard to top
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Old 06-21-19, 08:44 AM
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I'm having fun with this thread, but I've also realized that after 45 years of road biking you could post anything, and my response would be:

"Yeah. I've done that."
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Old 06-21-19, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by datlas View Post
Tried to bang in loose bar end plug while riding. Don’t try it!
I think we have a winner! That made me literally LOL.
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Old 06-21-19, 08:54 AM
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I suspect that being a newbie vs experienced cyclists only changes the specifics of the idiotic mistakes, and not how big an idiot we are with the mistake. In my experience anyway.
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Old 06-21-19, 09:02 AM
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Chris Froome ? experience has its own issues..

By thinking you can do foolish things, while in motion, because you got away with it before.. ?
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Old 06-21-19, 09:04 AM
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I once pulled up to a trash can at a McDonalds drive thru & waited for someone to take my order ...
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Old 06-21-19, 09:34 AM
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Originally Posted by fietsbob View Post
Chris Froome ? experience has its own issues..

By thinking you can do foolish things, while in motion, because you got away with it before.. ?
Indeed. And the more that we've gotten away with, aka "experience", the greater the menu of foolish things we can try.
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Old 06-21-19, 10:41 AM
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I know I spend most of my day on auto-pilot, and I think pretty much everyone does. And when you're only using 5% of your brain, bad things can happen, no matter what the task.

Originally Posted by noodle soup View Post
That one is gonna be hard to top
It's a miracle I even survived my first week on a fixed gear road bike, I had no idea how dangerous they are, and how used to being able to stop pedalling I had become during 50 years of riding.

It can be tough to remind myself to think, "OK, wait. Which bike am I on?", every single time I have the urge to coast for a few feet. Especially since I'm usually completely out of breath at that particular moment.

Last edited by Lemond1985; 06-21-19 at 10:45 AM.
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Old 06-21-19, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Lemond1985 View Post
I know I spend most of my day on auto-pilot, and I think pretty much everyone does. And when you're only using 5% of your brain, bad things can happen, no matter what the task.



It's a miracle I even survived my first week on a fixed gear road bike, I had no idea how dangerous they are, and how used to being able to stop pedalling I had become during 50 years of riding.

It can be tough to remind myself to think, "OK, wait. Which bike am I on?", every single time I have the urge to coast for a few feet. Especially since I'm usually completely out of breath at that particular moment.
+1 Particularly coming up to red lights... I must look like a real klutz when the bike hiccups as I momentarily stop pedaling Doh!
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