Cycling vanity
 

When I ride through some water, I make sure to leave tracks in a straight line

so I will be seen as a Cyclist, and not some wobbly bike rider.

Also align the stems when parking at the coffee shop. (no, made that up)

How about you?

If I ever had any pride or vanity about that kind of thing, it's long gone, long gone.

When i overtake anyone, i always keep a poker face with zero suffering showing - no matter how much i am dying inside.

Exactly. I don’t even breath for that instant I’m passing. Little does he know I’m on the verge falling over

These days, (s)he’s not breathing either.

My two tricks:

When I'm exhausted and have to stop, I take a drink or check my cell phone to make believe I wasn't stopping to catch my breath.

When I pass someone, I wait to stop until the person is out of sight so he / she won't know I stopped.

For best effect, take a swig of water while passing, make a cheerful comment on the weather, maybe ride no hands for a bit.

One year on the RAGBRAI on a real hot day I was out of the saddle on a fair incline. I thought it was a radio as a tune from the rear got closer. I was soon passed quite handily by a collage age dude sitting in the saddle playing a harmonica. He was at a high level cycling vanity. lol

^^ this.

I live right next to one of the nicest national conservation park in Canada and I can tell you, it is mountains after mountains so roads aren't easy to ride on. You can tell pretty quickly who's used to it and who's not. I laugh when inexperienced cyclists pass by and I know that I'll catch them up in a few minutes because we're close to a steep hill. I will sometimes turn my head and smile while overtaking them (or stop if they're puking on the side of the road, because yes, I see that at least 1x / month in summer time - lots of tourists there!).

On a separate note, I like to park my bike where it can be seen by others when I stop for a break, because it's handsome and people always compliment it (not very humble, I know).

My vanity is I don’t mix clothing. If I am riding A castelli jersey, everything else is Castelli. Socks, gloves, it all has to match.

When I get KOM's I downplay the title of the ride, even though I may have gone out on that ride specifically to get the KOM and died a thousand deaths to make it happen.

That being said, if someone asks me about any specific KOM I hold (this happens a lot, actually), I'll be totally honest with them and go into detail over how I rode it and how it ruined the rest of my ride.

Must be tough to do going around a curve. Or do you only ride in a straight line?

I announce my presence to everyone I'm overtaking. I think that might be my vanity.

It's annoying when I walk with my wife that virtually no cyclist do the same for us.

If I know I'll be riding with people (obviously not now) I'll make sure the legs are as freshly-shaved as the schedule will allow.

I refuse to ride an ebike.

Recreationally, I'm with you, but I would consider a utilitarian ebike for grocery/liquor store trips, towing the younger child to preschool, etc.

Oh yeah, i make a big show of looking around and up, as if i am enjoying the scenery (and not really looking for a place to curl up and die).

That's not vanity - dem's the rules.

I had my soul taken in Tuscany by a rather large lady wearing a billowing dress and riding an eBike.

Wife and I had rented bikes to cycle around while in Sienna - only got MTBs at short notice, but no worries, we werent planning on going that fast anyway. So there I am, wearing regular shorts and cotton t-shirts, riding MTBs with sneakers, and slowly going up a hill while cursing the mushiness of the bike - and this woman zips by me like i was standing still. She's pedaling, and i dont see the bike too well but i see enough to realize it is a hybrid: a big part of me just DIED inside at that. 10 minutes later, she goes zipping by in the other direction. And another 15 minutes later, comes back and drops me again.

To be honest, I didnt see what kind of bike she had. But it MUST have been an e-bike. Right? Right?

But give me a Yamaha 250 from my teenage days and I'll be out there on the trails appropriate for that type bike.

-The TT bike must be ridden in a manner to never get passed by a drop bar bike, even if there is a group.

-When the bike is stopped and leaned up, big ring and a middle cog. Put it back in the small ring if you need to once you leave.

-Guns out when the suns out, legs shaved always when weather allows. You've worked hard polishing the guns, show em off.

-For me, well executed ride data. No weird farting around in parking lots or in the grass while waiting for lights, etc..... Either pause it or don't record it. The ride and route are the ride and route. It ruins the reputation of the local hammer ride if you record all your childish shennanigans and bring your ride avg down to like 18mph. But, if the goal of a ride is Z1 farting around, by all means......make it some royally farted around stuff.

I always say something well in advance before passing riders and walkers. Most say thank you when I pass. Cyclists, being a little narcissistic, forget being passed suddenly can be a little scary.

Rules, Schmules

I've got White Industries CLD hubs in my wheels. I just freewheel for a few seconds as I approach people I'm going to pass and trust me, they are never surprised. I also find it a little passive-aggressive when folks yell out "on the left!" or whatever as they pass. It's almost like they're rubbing my face in it. I recognize this could be one of those "it's not you, it's me" kinds of things.

I immediately begin racing anyone who passes me.