I won the slow-roll !!!
07-28-22, 06:23 PM
#1
Banned
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 678
Mentioned: 11 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 790 Post(s)
Liked 348 Times
in
195 Posts
I won the slow-roll !!!
My city is having a "cyclefest" kicked off with a 9-mile "slow roll". The organizers, mayor and a few other stiffs gave speeches before it began while we were in front of some news cameras. My "kit was a "free Palestine" shirt, which I wrote "Free Assange" on the back with a Sharpie marker, cuttoff jeans, sneakers and of course I was riding the Huffy "bluegrass" Scout.
City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.
As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.
As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
Likes For Broctoon:
07-28-22, 08:08 PM
#3
Banned
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 678
Mentioned: 11 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 790 Post(s)
Liked 348 Times
in
195 Posts
99% of a victory is announcing it first and as loudly as possible. Most people are afraid to counter this type of behaviour, and if you can act a little drunk or crazy during the process it more than doubles the effectiveness, if you actually are drunk and/or crazy then you can never fail.
07-28-22, 08:15 PM
#4
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mich
Posts: 6,975
Bikes: RSO E-tire dropper fixie brifter
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Liked 2,765 Times
in
1,788 Posts
If you can poop enough for it to fall on to the ground while all articles of clothing are on, it'll be a hot victory!
__________________
-Oh Hey!
-Oh Hey!
Likes For Troul:
07-28-22, 09:59 PM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mich
Posts: 6,975
Bikes: RSO E-tire dropper fixie brifter
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Liked 2,765 Times
in
1,788 Posts
That's just the small crank to big cog ratio.
__________________
-Oh Hey!
-Oh Hey!
Likes For Troul:
07-29-22, 04:13 AM
#7
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 38,098
Mentioned: 209 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17732 Post(s)
Liked 14,053 Times
in
6,675 Posts
And then your alarm clock went off?
Likes For indyfabz:
07-29-22, 05:07 AM
#8
Happy With My Bike
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,885
Bikes: Hi-Ten bike boomers, a Trek Domane and some projects
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 724 Post(s)
Liked 1,912 Times
in
916 Posts
I hope next time you get the crouching ovation you deserve.
__________________
"It is the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels." -- Heinz Stücke
"It is the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels." -- Heinz Stücke
07-29-22, 05:32 AM
#9
only here for the "LIKES"
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 424
Mentioned: 140 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1609 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2,075 Times
in
992 Posts
My city is having a "cyclefest" kicked off with a 9-mile "slow roll". The organizers, mayor and a few other stiffs gave speeches before it began while we were in front of some news cameras. My "kit was a "free Palestine" shirt, which I wrote "Free Assange" on the back with a Sharpie marker, cuttoff jeans, sneakers and of course I was riding the Huffy "bluegrass" Scout.
City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.
As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.
As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
looks like you won a hotly contested, knock down drag out, fiercely fought "race"!
Last edited by hazetguy; 07-29-22 at 06:43 AM.
Likes For hazetguy:
07-29-22, 05:41 AM
#10
Should Be More Popular
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Malvern, PA (20 miles West of Philly)
Posts: 42,194
Bikes: 1986 Alpine (steel road bike), 2009 Ti Habenero, 2013 Specialized Roubaix
Mentioned: 556 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21696 Post(s)
Liked 8,146 Times
in
3,807 Posts
Likes For datlas:
07-29-22, 06:22 AM
#11
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 8,451
Mentioned: 67 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3012 Post(s)
Liked 2,307 Times
in
1,387 Posts
I'm eating a single cinnamon roll this morning slowly to savor the flavor. Is that the same as what the OP did?
07-29-22, 06:43 AM
#12
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: TC, MN
Posts: 39,505
Bikes: R3 Disc, Haanjo
Mentioned: 353 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20791 Post(s)
Liked 9,430 Times
in
4,662 Posts
is that you, standing behind the newscaster (on her right, screen left)?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=c0cCE8HELQw
looks like you won a hotly contested, knock down drag out, fiercely fought race!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2v5dZSB8LU8
https://youtube.com/watch?v=c0cCE8HELQw
looks like you won a hotly contested, knock down drag out, fiercely fought race!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2v5dZSB8LU8
Likes For WhyFi:
07-29-22, 09:53 AM
#14
serious cyclist
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Austin
Posts: 20,655
Bikes: S1, R2, P2
Mentioned: 115 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9012 Post(s)
Liked 3,506 Times
in
1,904 Posts
Likes For Bah Humbug:
07-29-22, 09:56 AM
#15
-------
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: Tejas
Posts: 11,440
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8574 Post(s)
Liked 5,684 Times
in
3,115 Posts
The guy was on TV! We are in the presence of an actual celebrity.
Helmetless and no bike pants. Larry would be proud.
Helmetless and no bike pants. Larry would be proud.
Likes For Mojo31:
07-29-22, 10:18 AM
#17
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: TC, MN
Posts: 39,505
Bikes: R3 Disc, Haanjo
Mentioned: 353 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20791 Post(s)
Liked 9,430 Times
in
4,662 Posts
Only if they start on foot, have to salvage a bicycle to ride, perform dumpster hurdles, chug questionable hooch, and have to solicit aid from strangers in the event of a mechanical.
07-29-22, 10:22 AM
#18
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In the foothills of Los Angeles County
Posts: 24,140
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7533 Post(s)
Liked 7,934 Times
in
3,990 Posts
My money is on Larry. He has youth on his side, he's sometimes clever, and he's loveable in his own weird way.
07-29-22, 10:35 AM
#19
serious cyclist
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Austin
Posts: 20,655
Bikes: S1, R2, P2
Mentioned: 115 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9012 Post(s)
Liked 3,506 Times
in
1,904 Posts
07-29-22, 10:40 AM
#20
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Chapel Hill NC
Posts: 1,683
Bikes: 2000 Litespeed Vortex Chorus 10, 1995 DeBernardi Cromor S/S
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 645 Post(s)
Liked 795 Times
in
445 Posts
My city is having a "cyclefest" kicked off with a 9-mile "slow roll". The organizers, mayor and a few other stiffs gave speeches before it began while we were in front of some news cameras. My "kit was a "free Palestine" shirt, which I wrote "Free Assange" on the back with a Sharpie marker, cuttoff jeans, sneakers and of course I was riding the Huffy "bluegrass" Scout.
City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.
As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.
As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
Likes For Litespud:
07-29-22, 11:06 AM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 38,098
Mentioned: 209 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17732 Post(s)
Liked 14,053 Times
in
6,675 Posts
Likes For indyfabz:
07-29-22, 11:12 AM
#22
Senior Member
07-29-22, 12:18 PM
#23
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 38,098
Mentioned: 209 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17732 Post(s)
Liked 14,053 Times
in
6,675 Posts
07-29-22, 01:38 PM
#24
Asleep at the bars
Join Date: May 2006
Location: San Francisco, CA and Treasure Island, FL
Posts: 1,742
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 234 Post(s)
Liked 203 Times
in
135 Posts
You mean the troll-roll?
__________________
"This 7:48 cycling session burned 5933 calories. Speed up recovery by replacing them with a healthy snack." - Whoop
"This 7:48 cycling session burned 5933 calories. Speed up recovery by replacing them with a healthy snack." - Whoop
Likes For sfrider:
07-29-22, 02:44 PM
#25
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 5,391
Bikes: Colnago, Van Dessel, Factor, Cervelo, Ritchey
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3555 Post(s)
Liked 6,461 Times
in
2,612 Posts
I won a strider crit once. It was supposed to be for kids, but the rules didn't specifically state adults couldn't enter. I destroyed all those little punks!!!
