UmneyDurak

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8715412/site/newsweek

Right Turn for Tour de France
The White House seeks a conservative to replace cyclist Lance Armstrong.

July 26, 2005 - Moments after seven-time Tour de France champion Lance
Armstrong announced that he was retiring from competitive cycling, the
White House served notice that it intended to replace him with a
cyclist who shares President George W. Bush's conservative political views.

While Armstrong has never officially identified himself as a Democrat and
has been friendly with members of both parties, including President Bush,
the fact that he was cheered on in his seventh Tour victory by 2004
Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry was not lost on
conservatives, who immediately urged Bush to find a conservative cyclist
to replace him.

At the White House, spokesman Scott McClellan assured reporters that there
would be "no litmus test" to determine who Armstrong's successor might be,
but did indicate that "he or she will be someone with integrity, a strong
sense of values and a conservative interpretation of the U.S.
Constitution."

In Democratic circles, fears abounded over Bush's choice, since
Armstrong's successor might very well shift U.S. cycling to the right for
years to come.

"President Bush handpicking Lance Armstrong's replacement is the
worst-case scenario many of us have been dreading," said Democratic
activist Clarisse Hartnett. "We were really hoping Lance would hang in
there until Bush was out of office."

But Hartnett did offer praise for Miami Dolphins running back Ricky
Williams, who came out of retirement before Bush could choose a
conservative replacement for him.

Elsewhere, actress Cameron Diaz said she was gratified that she had
prevented the release of topless photos of her, but saddened that she had
not prevented the release of "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle."
© 2005 Newsweek, Inc.



Yes this is not a serious article. I thought it was funny.

AlanS

Hilarious -- but only appreciated here in N. CA.

I knew this was a joke immediately because you'll never find someone who can win a time-trial who also wants to overturn R. v. Wade.

jplavnick

Good read

Sprocket Man

Now I understand why Sandra Day O'Connor is leaving the Supreme Court. Yellow jerseys are so much more appealing than black robes!

spingineer

Bush and cycling? what a joke! You're talking about an oil man, who only knows to go from point a to point b in a gas guzzling car!!!! He only congradulated LA because it is the political thing to do. Did he congradulate him 7 times over the past 7 years?

Jakey

He has congratulated him every year.. Both as Gov. of Texas and President...

mirona

Go play in Politics forum. This was a JOKE.

cydewaze

pleasedon'tletthisturnintoapoliticaldebate... pleasedon'tletthisturnintoapoliticaldebate... pleasedon'tletthisturnintoapoliticaldebate...

SushiJoe

^ Agreed-- circle gets the square!

shimanopower

I didn't like the article much. It wasn't very funny or even clever.

BillyBob

The humor impaired are coming out of the woodwork.

Thanks for sharing the article.

shimanopower

Yeah because I don't find something funny then I must be humor impaired... What do you call someone who finds all things funny? a moron perhaps

Mr_Super_Socks

stoned.





No! Wait! a one-eyed-one-horned-flying-purple-people-eater!!!

shimanopower

lol, good one

ggg300

[QUOTE=Mr_Super_Socks]


stoned.

LordOpie

And we all know hugging the right (side of the road) is just a bad idea.

Yeah, Ricky only smokes weed. Bush needs someone more like Michael Irving from the Dallas Cowboys.


(I hate explaining jokes, but Irving was busted for coke... you can take it from there )

recursive

Not only is it a joke, Bush is actually a pretty serious mountain biker.

Yeah, what's up now?

Shooter

Lance was supported by both Bush & Kerry, both of whom are prone to falling off their bikes. Maybe we should vote for Lance, then we'll have a president that can ride a bike.

ckleps

Yeah nothing says serious like running shoes and toeclips



Kerry may be wearing a loose t-shirt but he did match his helmet to his bike.

shimanopower

OOO I'm glad someone brought kerry up! There is a charity ride which I do massachusetts for best buddies. It's an 85 mile ride with a lot of climbing, it starts in boston, and ends at the kennedy compound. Greg Lemond has been doing the ride every year and a bunch of other celebrities always show up.

Two years ago John Kerry showed up to do the ride. It was some of the worst weather ever. It was raining, with huge winds, and it later turned to snowing. Even Greg Lemonds said that might of been the worst weather he ever rode in. 80-90% of the people ended up taking the bus. But I rode the whole damn thing.

Kerry took the bus. But when they got to the end Kerry got off the bus, crossed the finish line, and had his picture taken as if he finished the ride. They showed him on the news completing the ride and said Kerry Braved Rain, 30 degree temps., sleet, snow, and wind for charity. He didn't do the ride. What a fake!!!!

ckleps

hmm, I know this is like a parent telling their kids that santa isn't real, but I must remove all the illusions you may hold. John Kerry is, get this, a politician, and well most/all politicians are, I'm sorry to say, Fakes.

djgonzo007

Very funny article.

shimanopower

NOOOOOO!!!! say it isnit so!!!!!!! ::cries:: (he still didn't get my vote :-p)

Al1943

"Bush seeks to replace Lance Armstrong"

Actually I think you got that backwards.

He's already got his eye on the governor's mansion in Austin.

AnthonyG

I think your reading too much into this. This event wasn't about the charity lending support to Kerry. It was about Kerry lending support to the charity. The media and organizers would have been fully complicit in what happened but it was about some publicity for the charity so they went ahead with their prearranged story anyway.

By the way is that realy President Bush on the black mountain bike. I can recognise Kerry but not the top picture as Pr. Bush.

Regards, Anthony