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How best to keep the gonads above the pads.

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Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

How best to keep the gonads above the pads.

Old 01-04-06, 03:58 PM
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abm1213
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How best to keep the gonads above the pads.

I just want to hear how other folks handle (?) their most delicate gear while riding. On rides I inevitably have to reach in and grab the package and adjust. Sometimes it takes several grabs or a stop to accomplish the adjustment. Then after a gravity happens again placing contents between saddle and body. I try to do my adjustments discreetly (possible) but I am quite sure in some little town somewhere it is illegal to place your hand in your shorts and move things around in public. This problem is all the more problematic on coed club rides. Even snot blowing is less criminal. Is there some codpiece like thing? or a brand of shorts that has some added feature to address this issue? What do you do...
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Old 01-04-06, 03:59 PM
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duct tape it to your belly.
 
Old 01-04-06, 04:09 PM
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Your gonads are well designed to find their place once you've settled into your ride. Problem of continued discomfort is usually caused by the shorts - usually too tight. Also don't ignore any persistant pain - see a doc.
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Old 01-04-06, 04:16 PM
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I usually tie my wangdiddlydoo around my waist, the 'nads end up behind my right hip. It's more 'aero' that way...All the OCP'ers do it this way, unless they're women...then they just keep the 'nads in their saddle bag.
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Old 01-04-06, 04:20 PM
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Seriously, though, I am just hitchin a ride on this thread for other advice, as I've had the same problem with my beans 'n frank gettin' all discumbobulated after a long trek. I regularly adjust myself...mostly at busy intersections...with both hands.
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Old 01-04-06, 04:24 PM
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This is one SICK thread
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Old 01-04-06, 04:25 PM
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What are you? An elephant? Just find a discreet moment to adjust things. Most folks know the difference between adjustment and other activities. If it bothers you that much wear a soft cup over the bits. That should elicit some interesting looks.

Edit: And don't be shaking hands with folks afterwords, k?
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Old 01-04-06, 04:37 PM
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Oooo. My favorite topic at the minute. Since we're on the subject, is there anyone else out there for whom riding makes their sac go black?
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Old 01-04-06, 04:52 PM
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A black sack, huh? Never experienced that one before. Maybe the shorts are bleeding dye?

As for the readjusted thing, I usually just stuff my hand in my pants and fix it. Might not be the most polite thing in the world, but oh well.
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Old 01-04-06, 04:56 PM
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Hell, you know where everything's been. Not gonna hurt anything unless you take a nosedive with your hand on your wang.
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Old 01-04-06, 04:58 PM
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I put mine facing up and to the left. My tights are reasonably tight anyway so my boys dont usually go anywhere. Snot blowing and crotch adjusting are things you have to do...dont worry about it.

How in the world would it get down in between your thighs anyway???
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Old 01-04-06, 05:02 PM
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I've had to adjust, but I don't really recall it being a problem. I think I tend to be a little more "shy" or modest than most and it doesn't bug me to rearrange things when necessary.
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Old 01-04-06, 05:12 PM
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put WD-40 on it
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Old 01-04-06, 05:15 PM
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Just let 'em go numb. They'll wake up fine later.

jw
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Old 01-04-06, 05:24 PM
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After you pull your shorts up, reach in, pull up and flip it over your shoulder. Jersey should hold it in place...
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Old 01-04-06, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
...Jersey should hold it in place...
Sponsors don't approve of this practice though, unless your name's Petacchi
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Old 01-04-06, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by badsac
Oooo. My favorite topic at the minute. Since we're on the subject, is there anyone else out there for whom riding makes their sac go black?
I fell out of my chair when I read that. Sorry but I just had to laugh
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Old 01-04-06, 05:34 PM
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Im with BLADEY. This would have to be the only thread I have read on BF that I have actually laughed my arse off and yes I did fall of my seat. funny ****.
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Old 01-04-06, 05:37 PM
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I find that if I don't pull it all forward at the start of my ride I end up sitting on scrotal folds that feel uncomfortable. I notice the problem more if I'm in street clothes than on a chamois. I just grab on right through my clothes and tug, while making a completely vacant, innocent facial expression and no eye contact. If I get out of the saddle at a stop sign or while climbing, I sometimes have to adjust again. I don't usually do group rides, but there are a lot of people on the street when I leave work. I just ignore them.
(EDIT) keeping your knees/thighs close together while riding out of the saddle helps prevent downward drift.
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Old 01-04-06, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by cooker
keeping your knees/thighs close together while riding out of the saddle helps prevent downward drift.
Isn't that the sort of advice mothers give their teenage daughters?
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Old 01-04-06, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by cooker
I find that if I don't pull it all forward at the start of my ride I end up sitting on scrotal folds that feel uncomfortable. I notice the problem more if I'm in street clothes than on a chamois. I just grab on right through my clothes and tug, while making a completely vacant, innocent facial expression and no eye contact. If I get out of the saddle at a stop sign or while climbing, I sometimes have to adjust again. I don't usually do group rides, but there are a lot of people on the street when I leave work. I just ignore them.
(EDIT) keeping your knees/thighs close together while riding out of the saddle helps prevent downward drift.

Scrotal folds.
I'm going to have to incorporate that into more conversations.

Me: Hey Ty, did you get the reports I asked for this morning?
Ty: Not yet, I had to run over to Finance.
Me: Ty, you frick'n scrotal fold, I need them before I leave!
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Old 01-04-06, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
After you pull your shorts up, reach in, pull up and flip it over your shoulder. Jersey should hold it in place...
What else are bibs for?
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Old 01-04-06, 07:48 PM
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Pass out the tear towels we're all dying laughing!
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Old 01-04-06, 08:00 PM
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You could always marry Lorania Bobbit and eliminate 1/2 of the problem
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Old 01-04-06, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted by badsac
Oooo. My favorite topic at the minute. Since we're on the subject, is there anyone else out there for whom riding makes their sac go black?

Is there a doctor in the house?
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