Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

TQ's one liners

Old 07-20-06, 12:31 PM
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TQ's one liners

These usually pop into my head I presume as a result of this: http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=212045

I think of a ton of things I want to say to you guys but usually they alone don’t warrant a thread so I’ll just put them here:

--Why is it that if you ride a hard tail (motorcycle) and leather chaps you are a badass. Yet seemingly the tighter the cyclists clothes and the smaller/stiffer his bike the more he is perceived as being “queer”?

--What’s with cars that have the whole road to pass you but insist on brushing your left ear with their side mirror? Do those yellow lines hurt a cars tires or something?

--On that note, why is it that 75% of the time a car passes me it is while going up a hill
and another car is coming towards us?

-- Anyone ever notice how Jetta’s and Touareg’s give you more then other cars. I’m reminded of their current marketing campaign…

--I just got clipless pedals for the firs time. I decided to practice on my trainer. It seems I didn’t tighten the trainer enough onto my bike and while twisting my foot out of the pedal I put enough torque on the frame to twist it out of the trainer and I actually managed to fall. Does this mean I’ve put in my “fall time” and now I wont fall at a stop sign??

--I bought a Selle Italia because it looked sexy and was light and was on clearance. I was warned it was a saddle that needs but padding. I just bought my first cycling shorts after putting 400 miles on this saddle…what the hell took me so long?

--Do these spandex shorts compress the muscles in your legs and help keep lactic acid out of there or is the better feeling in my legs just in my head?

--Why is it that every three rides the wind seems to be coming from all directions. I go north and it’s in my face, I go south it’s in my face, I go east it’s in my face, I go west it’s in my face. Does god hate me?

--Why is it only windy on cool days. I guess I wouldn’t mind the wind on a day that it’s 98 degrees, but on the cool days it rarely does anything—especially if it’s the third ride of the week.

--I keep coming across this old slow lady on my bike rides. Our acknowledgement to each other has gone from a nod to a smile to a hello. We currently nod while smiling and say hello. What’s next, am I going to have to ride with her slow ass or does it end with the nodding smiling hello?

--I’ve yet to be attacked by a dog. I’m running out of days on this earth, should I start to expect to be chased down by a German Shepard or are some of us just lucky?

--Why do runners get away with wearing headphones yet among ourselves cyclists are chastised? A girl at the University of Wisconsin last year was jogging with her Ipod on and ran in front of a bus.

--My bike is all silver and black, my cycling shorts are black I wear I white shirt, my shoes are black and white. My water bottle is blue…pretty lame huh?

--I use to wax my pickup truck, then a tornado came through my town and now my truck is scratched up and dented. I no longer wax it but I feel the need to wax something, you guys wouldn’t make fun of me for waxing my bike would you?

--If I wax my bike I’m going to be compelled to get it covered in droplets of water and take pictures. Then I’m going to have to share them with you.

--Many of us, especially in the Midwest, ride in the country and across farmland. Am I the only one who rides by a cattle farm and is hit in the face with a big stench of cow butt?

--Usually when I smell the cow butt my instinct is to get out of my saddle and crank my way out of smells way as fast as I can, but sometimes the stench is so bad that I can’t help but bask in the stench.

--Sometimes when the sun hits the bike right I can see a great looking shadow of myself. Sometimes when I get out of the saddle I like to look at the shadow and pretend I’m Lance Armstrong just after he looked back at Jan, how lame is that?

--I’ll sell you the Power Bars I won from trek

--“Support your local bike shop!” Hey, screw you. My local bike shop sucks—both of them.

--My first bike—which I took the parts off of to build my current bike—came with a triple. I never use the “granny gear”. Am I ok or should I just put my reflectors back on the bike. Or should cyclists just stop worrying about how they look—yeah, I like that idea.


That should do for now…
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Old 07-20-06, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by timmyquest
These usually pop into my head I presume as a result of this: http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=212045

I think of a ton of things I want to say to you guys but usually they alone don’t warrant a thread so I’ll just put them here:

--Why is it that if you ride a hard tail (motorcycle) and leather chaps you are a badass. Yet seemingly the tighter the cyclists clothes and the smaller/stiffer his bike the more he is perceived as being “queer”?

--What’s with cars that have the whole road to pass you but insist on brushing your left ear with their side mirror? Do those yellow lines hurt a cars tires or something? ... Actually, I think it's wierd when the cross all the way over into the other (incoming) lane, when there's plenty of room. Better safe than sorry eh?

--On that note, why is it that 75% of the time a car passes me it is while going up a hill
and another car is coming towards us?

-- Anyone ever notice how Jetta’s and Touareg’s give you more then other cars. I’m reminded of their current marketing campaign…

--I just got clipless pedals for the firs time. I decided to practice on my trainer. It seems I didn’t tighten the trainer enough onto my bike and while twisting my foot out of the pedal I put enough torque on the frame to twist it out of the trainer and I actually managed to fall. Does this mean I’ve put in my “fall time” and now I wont fall at a stop sign??

--I bought a Selle Italia because it looked sexy and was light and was on clearance. I was warned it was a saddle that needs but padding. I just bought my first cycling shorts after putting 400 miles on this saddle…what the hell took me so long?

--Do these spandex shorts compress the muscles in your legs and help keep lactic acid out of there or is the better feeling in my legs just in my head?

--Why is it that every three rides the wind seems to be coming from all directions. I go north and it’s in my face, I go south it’s in my face, I go east it’s in my face, I go west it’s in my face. Does god hate me? It's because you're going so damned fast

--Why is it only windy on cool days. I guess I wouldn’t mind the wind on a day that it’s 98 degrees, but on the cool days it rarely does anything—especially if it’s the third ride of the week.

--I keep coming across this old slow lady on my bike rides. Our acknowledgement to each other has gone from a nod to a smile to a hello. We currently nod while smiling and say hello. What’s next, am I going to have to ride with her slow ass or does it end with the nodding smiling hello? It goes further than just that... eventually you'll get to know her (in the biblical sense ). If you like, you may call her 'mom'.

--I’ve yet to be attacked by a dog. I’m running out of days on this earth, should I start to expect to be chased down by a German Shepard or are some of us just lucky?

--Why do runners get away with wearing headphones yet among ourselves cyclists are chastised? A girl at the University of Wisconsin last year was jogging with her Ipod on and ran in front of a bus. Runners probably get gruff for this too. But if you ask me, 1 example out of the like 200k+ ipod owners who ride and/or run, ain't bad

--My bike is all silver and black, my cycling shorts are black I wear I white shirt, my shoes are black and white. My water bottle is blue…pretty lame huh? I have the black '05 Allez Sport... It's black with silver-ish like lettering. I bought white bontrager race lite cages, because the place I went only had one black one left. I thought it would be lame, but I kinda like it now. Others may still find it lame though.

--I use to wax my pickup truck, then a tornado came through my town and now my truck is scratched up and dented. I no longer wax it but I feel the need to wax something, you guys wouldn’t make fun of me for waxing my bike would you? I don't know about where you come from... but that term has other meanings around these parts.

--If I wax my bike I’m going to be compelled to get it covered in droplets of water and take pictures. Then I’m going to have to share them with you.

--Many of us, especially in the Midwest, ride in the country and across farmland. Am I the only one who rides by a cattle farm and is hit in the face with a big stench of cow butt?
I rode by a dead deer that was in somebody's drive way, on the hottest day of the summer thus far. Damn thing must've been there for a good week before I came across it. It was there for the next three times I came home on that route. It's probably still there, and I'll go by it again. Word's can't describe the smell really. But I did notice that as you pass it, you don't smell it right away... it takes a second or two... possibly because of the way the wind moves around my body as I'm riding.

--Usually when I smell the cow butt my instinct is to get out of my saddle and crank my way out of smells way as fast as I can, but sometimes the stench is so bad that I can’t help but bask in the stench. I think the trick is to get going earlier, so you're already hammering away before it hits you

--Sometimes when the sun hits the bike right I can see a great looking shadow of myself. Sometimes when I get out of the saddle I like to look at the shadow and pretend I’m Lance Armstrong just after he looked back at Jan, how lame is that? I guess it depends on the time of day... sometimes my shadow makes me look frumpy... other times, I look like God on two wheels (my own humble opinion)

--I’ll sell you the Power Bars I won from trek

--“Support your local bike shop!” Hey, screw you. My local bike shop sucks—both of them.

--My first bike—which I took the parts off of to build my current bike—came with a triple. I never use the “granny gear”. Am I ok or should I just put my reflectors back on the bike. Or should cyclists just stop worrying about how they look—yeah, I like that idea.


That should do for now…
Yea... i definitely get those thoughts while on my bike... not these(^) in particular, but random thoughts I think about sharing on the forum... Of course they're all crazy, and I wouldn't actually admit to thinking them.
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Old 07-20-06, 02:02 PM
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Good stuff!
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Old 07-20-06, 02:46 PM
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>>--Many of us, especially in the Midwest, ride in the country and across farmland. Am I the only one who rides by a cattle farm and is hit in the face with a big stench of cow butt?
I rode by a dead deer that was in somebody's drive way, on the hottest day of the summer thus far. Damn thing must've been there for a good week before I came across it. It was there for the next three times I came home on that route. It's probably still there, and I'll go by it again. Word's can't describe the smell really. But I did notice that as you pass it, you don't smell it right away... it takes a second or two... possibly because of the way the wind moves around my body as I'm riding<<

I did a four-day ride up in Putnam County, NY a few weeks ago. First time I'd ever ridden long distances for 4 consequetive days. When I got home my wife & I were discussing what we learned on the trip. My observation was "I became intimately familiar with the smell of road kill."
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Old 07-20-06, 04:16 PM
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Apparent wind direction

[QUOTE=timmyquest]
--Why is it that every three rides the wind seems to be coming from all directions. I go north and it’s in my face, I go south it’s in my face, I go east it’s in my face, I go west it’s in my face. Does god hate me?
QUOTE]

I think the answer is that there is such a thing as a true wind heading and an apparent wind heading. The true is where the wind is really coming from. The apparent wind heading is created by the direction of your motion relative to where the wind is coming from. I am sure that there are sailors in this forum that could give a better, lengthier discourse. But basically because you are moving if the wind is coming from the front or a side of your movement you have helpd to create a headwind.

If the question was rhetorical and you already knew the answer then please excuse me and know that I agree it pretty much sucks too.
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Old 07-20-06, 04:24 PM
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No, i was really wondering. The other day i was going towards, we'll call it halfway point A, i was busting my ass off but my avg speed was much lower then what it usually was. Didn't suprise me because i felt a strong headwind. I thought nothing of it, i'd have the wind at my back on the way home. Nope, it was in my face both there in which i got N&E and on the way back in which i go S&W.
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Old 07-20-06, 06:11 PM
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i've wondered that same thing about the wind. sometimes i wonder if god hates me as well.

conversely, there are days where the wind is pushing me everywhere and i feel like i must be cheating.
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Old 07-20-06, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob Ross
I did a four-day ride up in Putnam County, NY a few weeks ago. First time I'd ever ridden long distances for 4 consequetive days. When I got home my wife & I were discussing what we learned on the trip. My observation was "I became intimately familiar with the smell of road kill."
Like, you could identify roadkill by smell? I'd believe it. I'm pretty sure I could identify at least a dead deer by smell by now. BTW, I went by that place again today, but somebody finally got rid of it... or the turkey buzzards dragged it away.
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Old 07-20-06, 11:24 PM
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I accidently ran over a small chipmunk (already dead) the other day. A few days later i was taking my bike down from the hooks in my garage and said "WTF is that?" and flicked a peice of goo off my bottom tube--took a second to click *shiver*
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Old 07-20-06, 11:39 PM
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I accidently ran over a small chipmunk (already dead) the other day. A few days later i was taking my bike down from the hooks in my garage and said "WTF is that?" and flicked a peice of goo off my bottom tube--took a second to click *shiver*
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Old 07-20-06, 11:59 PM
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Originally Posted by timmyquest
I accidently ran over a small chipmunk (already dead) the other day. A few days later i was taking my bike down from the hooks in my garage and said "WTF is that?" and flicked a peice of goo off my bottom tube--took a second to click *shiver*
I did that the other day too. Only it didn't click until I picked another piece out of my leg hair. :barf:
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Old 07-21-06, 12:07 AM
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--What’s with cars that have the whole road to pass you but insist on brushing your left ear with their side mirror? Do those yellow lines hurt a cars tires or something?
I have a theory about this. During driving school, and classes the common trend is "keep as far right as possible, almost ride on a white line". So people do as they were told, and after a while it becomes a habbit. Add to this the isolation that the driver of the car is in, and no realizing what effect a car has when it passes and you get people passing you with centimeters to spare.
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Old 07-21-06, 12:16 AM
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Originally Posted by UmneyDurak
I have a theory about this. During driving school, and classes the common trend is "keep as far right as possible, almost ride on a white line". So people do as they were told, and after a while it becomes a habbit. Add to this the isolation that the driver of the car is in, and no realizing what effect a car has when it passes and you get people passing you with centimeters to spare.
Really? When I was in driving school they told us to drive as close to the center line as safely possible to leave room for cyclists, pedestrians and such.
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Old 07-21-06, 12:21 AM
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Originally Posted by mister
Really? When I was in driving school they told us to drive as close to the center line as safely possible to leave room for cyclists, pedestrians and such.
Hmm I guess it does vary. During my drivers trainning cyclists and pedastrians weren't even in the picture.
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