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My Favroite Fred

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Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

My Favroite Fred

Old 09-19-06, 01:55 AM
  #26  
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Originally Posted by domestique
Edit: I have always felt a "Fred" was a rich snoob that had too much money and not enough class or experience to back his 5,000+ bike up.

There was a good article in Mountain Bike Quarterly October 2004 called "I'm Not Fred" by Dan Keoppel and basically sums up a Fred as:

1. A fred has to stay half a wheel in front of everyone
2. throws a fit if someone is 30 seconds late for a group ride
3. never says hello or nods
4. hates getting his shoes wet

etc. basically someone who has the high end kit but doesn't have the etiquette or ability
There does seem to be some conflicting definitions of the classic fred. This is made concrete by the fact that the guy who runs thefredcast.com, in a couple of different podcasts, completely and clearly contradicts himself. Here is the written one on his site in the "about"

Originally Posted by thefredcast.com guy
Several internet dictionaries define a “Fred” as a person who spends a lot of money on his bike and clothing, but still can’t ride. The term is used by “serious” roadies to disparage utility cyclists and touring riders, especially after these totally unfashionable “freds” drop the “serious” roadies on hills because the “serious” guys were really posers.

I have been called a Fred time after time, especially by people who see my high-end Italian road bike and all of my gadgets and gizmos. I have always taken the term as one of endearment and not one of scorn, since I usually ride faster than those who call me a Fred and so it has become a badge of honor.
This whole explanation is confusing in so many ways but is typical of how he describes fredism in other areas of his site/casts.

So it's obvious that the term is getting lost as time goes on. I have always understood the term to be something that is of pure genuine ignorant goofiness, similar to how the OP and Patentcad and others have just describled.


Originally Posted by patentcad
...screams CAR UPPPP!!!!!! on a wide open flat road with 1+ mile of visibility, scaring the living crap out of me to alert me to a vehicle that everyone in the paceline will see a minute before it's anywhere near us? ...
It is, to me, neither sleek, skillful, or cool in any way. But, as mentioned before, the fred is to be cared for and looked after like a little redheaded brother who puts his shirts on backwards and drops his drawers to his ankles to take a leak. Why? ...Because we all have to start somewhere.

Last edited by theshoemaker; 09-19-06 at 02:27 AM.
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Old 09-19-06, 02:08 AM
  #27  
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Stories like these make me wish I didn't ride solo all the time.
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Old 09-19-06, 02:14 AM
  #28  
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Originally Posted by DrPete
Up from behind comes a guy I saw at the rest stop and honestly thought "Fred." Mirror, neon yellow jersey, white calf-length socks scrunched down, reflector belt, $20 helmet, those sports glasses that stay on with an elastic band (like the basketball players wear), trunk rack with massive trunk pack--quite impressive.
Hey Doc,

you should check out this thread. https://www.bikeforums.net/road-cycling/229708-anybody-turned-off-cyling-snobbishness-sort-long-sorry.html

I think the OP might be thinking of you

btw - next time a Fred does that to you on a descent, may i suggest squirting him in the face with your waterbottle as he passes you?
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Old 09-19-06, 07:43 AM
  #29  
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My first time on particular group ride ( 25 people on road bikes) this Spring were on 5 mile warm up before the hills hit and fast group cuts loose. I'm getting ready for the break on hills. In front of me is fantastic Fred riding circa 1976 mens dark green Vista Cruiser Schwinn with the biggest f'in gel seat Walmart is allowed to sell BY LAW. Wicker basket on handle bars is missing but.... visor on helmet - check, mirror - check, the rear fender is FLAPPING in the breeze and he is of course overlapping wheels.
Hear a month later on same ride he overlapped and found asphalt sandwich.
August he's back on a real roadie but the visor and mirror stay. Oh and the seat has downsized but still catcher mitt volume. He gives everyone 'breathing' room now after seeing the light. ")

Last edited by daytonian; 09-19-06 at 09:25 AM.
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Old 09-19-06, 08:20 AM
  #30  
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I don't understand, are you guys telling me that you don't like my helmet visor? It does keep the sun out of my eyes, and how else are you supposed to see behind you if you don't have a mirror?
You must be crazy to ride without the proper equipment.
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Old 09-19-06, 08:38 AM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by daytonian
Wicker basket on handle bars is missing but.... visor on helmet - check
What is the problem with a visor on a helmet? It makes perfect sense to me especially when I get caught in the rain. It helps keep the rain off my glasses.
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Old 09-19-06, 08:58 AM
  #32  
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Edit to add quote:

Originally Posted by theshoemaker
There does seem to be some conflicting definitions of the classic fred.

Have any of you ever seen the website mulletsgalore.com? go to "Classifications" and start at "Section I". It's an old site and in it's infancy it was hillarious. They classify mullet sightings and give them descriptions like zoo animals. With all your creativity I'm sure you could come up with some Fred photos and classify them. No two Freds are ever alike.

f

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Old 09-19-06, 09:13 AM
  #33  
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Originally Posted by Olebiker
What is the problem with a visor on a helmet? It makes perfect sense to me especially when I get caught in the rain. It helps keep the rain off my glasses.
* fred alert * * fred alert * * fred alert * supporting the use of a visor * fred alert * * fred alert * * fred alert *
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Old 09-19-06, 09:15 AM
  #34  
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There is a guy who rides with a local group ride who is sort of fast who rides an old 10 speed - that thing is in such bad repair that he nearly caused me and others to go down! - FRED!
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Old 09-19-06, 09:27 AM
  #35  
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Originally Posted by theshoemaker
There does seem to be some conflicting definitions of the classic fred.
I think some of us are using the term “Fred” to describe an inexperienced rider with lousy bike handling skills - who thinks he’s much better than he really is.

They’re like Fred’s in disguise. They don’t have the usual Fred identification - mirror, kick stand, dork disc, etc., that warns you to keep your distance.

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Old 09-19-06, 10:34 AM
  #36  
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We went by too fast to say anything....

So, you never, ever see him when you aren't passing him at 32 mph? Come on now. Have some guts and actually help this guy out. Or, you could just feel better about your superior handling skills and keep dodging him. Wimp.
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Old 09-19-06, 10:39 AM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by 55/Rad
Hint - he's a "Fred" who later appeared regularly with him in "My Three Sons"
I don't see the pics, but I assume you're talking about Fred Mertz. Lucy, You got some 'splainin to do.
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Old 09-19-06, 10:47 AM
  #38  
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So is it a question of two types fitting the definition??

-There's the sense of the spoke protector, big mirrors, lots of reflectors, tooling along happily by oneself with a visor and whatever else, and

-There's the guy who buys a fancy rig and goes to threaten life and limb on long paceline rides with other people dressed like a power ranger?

Is it one or the other, or is it both?
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Old 09-19-06, 11:00 AM
  #39  
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Originally Posted by slowandsteady
So, you never, ever see him when you aren't passing him at 32 mph? Come on now. Have some guts and actually help this guy out. Or, you could just feel better about your superior handling skills and keep dodging him. Wimp.
If he's still this way after all these years, I don't think he'd react well to well-intentioned criticism.
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Old 09-19-06, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by superslomo
So is it a question of two types fitting the definition??

-There's the sense of the spoke protector, big mirrors, lots of reflectors, tooling along happily by oneself with a visor and whatever else, and

-There's the guy who buys a fancy rig and goes to threaten life and limb on long paceline rides with other people dressed like a power ranger?

Is it one or the other, or is it both?
I would say #1 is the real, original Fred.

I actually like Fred. He’s typically just a nice guy rollin’ along enjoying the great outdoors. He’s well marked, is no threat, and easy enough to avoid.

#2 is what scares me. They threaten my life in pacelines and group rides.

What do I call him, (other than a..)?

Last edited by LA_Rider; 09-19-06 at 11:52 AM.
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Old 09-19-06, 11:20 AM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by superslomo
-There's the guy who buys a fancy rig and goes to threaten life and limb on long paceline rides with other people dressed like a power ranger?
best description ever!

I don't care what you look like or what you ride as long as you can ride safely in the group. If you're wearing a cow-print sleeveless jersey and your favorite pair of neon green shorts while riding your 45lb 10 spd I might get a kick out of it, but if you can hold your line I'll gladly ride next to you. I suspect the OP is the same way.

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Old 09-19-06, 11:29 AM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by patentcad
And these dudes will be the first to come on this forum and tell me how stupid I am for not wearing a helmet mirror or for riding with an iPod - and I'm listening to this after 20 years and 100k miles on the road without a major accident or injury. It's so tired and silly that I can't bring myself to type a response much of the time.
I think you're stupid for riding with an iPod instead of a helmet mirror
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Old 09-19-06, 11:30 AM
  #43  
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We have a guy locally that I see all the time. Cutoff jeans, chuck taylors, white tube socks, his shirt tucked into his back pocket hanging out almost far enough to get sucked into the rear wheel...bald, tan and clearly in good shape. Rides a roadie bike, rides a lot and clearly doesn't care about gear. I think he's the OCP of the Freds if that makes sense.
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Old 09-19-06, 11:36 AM
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the only humor I found in this post was how you spelled "favroite"
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Old 09-19-06, 11:45 AM
  #45  
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Smoothie....you too much!

My Fred story....

Performance Bike opens a shop outside of Baltimore. Manager is an ex-National class mountain biker and down hill racer who knows all the local hard-core riders. Word goes out to our club to spread the word that off-season training rides emanating from the shop would be welcome (to de-Fred the shop?). Rides are open to all but loosely organized.

On one particular cold Saturday, we have about 20 guys - CAT 2- 4's mostly and a few Expert mountain bikers and a unknown who stood out like a sore thumb. Why? Fully matching Performance-brand tights, jersey and jacket (with the red accent!), brand new bike with reflectors and dork disk still attached...you get the picture.

So, we are rolling along mellowly taking turns at the front, not hard, still at talking pace when Mr. Performance blasts off the front...head down..going for gold. Well, that's like throwing raw meat to starving wolves....

Front guy picks up the pace and starts to chases down Mr. Performance. Group falls in behind. With Mr. Performance about 20 feet out in front and running out of steam, 10 guys stand as one and counter-attack, blasting by Mr. Performance and leave him for dead. I look back as he disappears behind us.... we went hard for another 10 minutes to make sure he was gone...

Never saw him at the ride again...
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Old 09-19-06, 12:07 PM
  #46  
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Originally Posted by galen_52657
My Fred story....

...
LOL! Nice one!
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Old 09-19-06, 12:31 PM
  #47  
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And that's why you never attack on an unfamiliar ride. Haha, I think I've been that guy.
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Old 09-19-06, 01:08 PM
  #48  
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Originally Posted by botto
* fred alert * * fred alert * * fred alert * supporting the use of a visor * fred alert * * fred alert * * fred alert *

Say it loud! I'm FRED, I'm proud!
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Old 09-19-06, 01:15 PM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by mister
Stories like these make me wish I didn't ride solo all the time.
Stories like this remind me *why* I ride solo, rather than with self-absorbed tools
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Old 09-19-06, 01:18 PM
  #50  
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Originally Posted by kingofchimps
Stories like this remind me *why* I ride solo, rather than with self-absorbed tools
really? are you sure it's not because you're old, fat, and slow, and nobody wants to ride with you anyway?

Last edited by botto; 09-19-06 at 03:24 PM.
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