timmyquest

Ride up to stop light that has turned green. Line of cars, one in front of me has right turn signal on and starts to veer right into the turn lane, i continue in the straight lane off to his left, he yells "Get off the ****ing road".

I told him to **** off hoping he would stop so i could put a carbon fiber sole into his shin.

He was fat and seemingly out of shape (not exclusively mutual)...and i was on a road bike. Oh the irony.

Ryanf

Tell him to get off the ****ing road.

cedricbosch

Why didn't you stop?

-VELOCITY-

I just try to ignore morons like that.

timmyquest

Umm, i guess i wasn't clear the first time

timmyquest

I know i should, but their ignorance infuriates me. I have a right, i'll be damned if you think otherwise because your a fat moron

Shemp

It's hard, but it can be fun to turn the other cheek. Some cranky witch yelled at our paceline to get off the road (in the middle of nowhere Iowa) and most of us just waved back, some more obnoxiously than others with big s--- eating grins. The weekend before, it was just two of us, but some very intellectual girls offered us this precious advice. "get a car!" Oh well.

timmyquest

Different people evoke different feelings from me. Cranky old women would get a wave (i do this frequently in the car). Fat 25 year old ******* ought to get a loogie in the lap...and i should grow up.

dcbikeguy

Dude, don't let those people get to you. Find your happy place.

timmyquest

*sigh*

I knowwwwww

2Tired2Shift

My happy place is me beating their f***ing faces in.

Nachoman

I'm happy these days if I only get ALMOST killed like twice when I'm out riding.
You know what I mean.

dcbikeguy

I value your opinion. You are an important person.

Kimber

Last weekend I yelled at an obnoxious punk " Shut up and roll another joint!". It seemed fitting at the time. I must say I find the "honk at high speed while passing" the most upsetting. If they get their timing right.... This is most effective when I am well off the side of the road.

Talewinds

Did you say put a carbon sole into their shin? Don't you mean CHIN?!?!?
I guess this thread caught me on a bad night, but, screw those football watchin', Harley ridin', BBQ eatin', camo t-shirt wearin', pick'em-up truck drivin' FAT F*CKS.
Maybe part of my problem is that even when I never rode a bike, especially through my rebellious highschool years, I never, NEVER even considered messing with anyone on a bike out on the road, EVER. I don't understand who could even think that's acceptable even for a second????
Anyone?

oilman_15106

We had this on a ride last weekend. Kid screams fu get off the road to to only lady in the ride. She gave it right back and something to the effect if they wanted to stop she would kick his a**. As they drove by the rest of the group the kid slinked down in the seat.

I can not understand the preverse pleasure that these juve reprobates get out of doing this stuff. I have had lit cigs thrown at me and the f bomb for no apparent reason. When I get the chance I just tell them my bike costs more than your car and I think that is the source of the anger. They have been sold that lifes lottery has passed them by.

JBD

I know what the problem is, you shouldn't be slowing down to take pictures of stop lights of course!

Psimet2001 

Holy crap....I know the guy...seriously. You know we ride int he same basic areas. Last year near Del Webb I had a guy matching that description say the exact same phrase to me verbatim when I had done the exact same thing.

This guy zoomed up and around in front of me and cut me off when he pulled into the right turn lane (I was continuing straight). He had to jam on the brakes to keep from hitting the guy in front of him in the turn lane.

As I passed him...while he was stopped (hurry up and wait) he yelled, "Get the F*#$ off the road!" I callled him a (insert the F word used as an adjective) (insert expression literally translated to mean "unintelligent posterior").

Most don't bother me, but the way this guy said it really got under my skin. It wasn't just a momemtary road rage comment from a normally OK driver, but rather this guy really went out of his way to give me a hard time because I was a cyclist.

I'm telling you it's the same guy. For the record my guy was driving some sort of tan/brown car.

maalea

+10000

No Kidding. I've done as much and I would bet much more dumb ***** than anyone else here but F'n with a guy just riding down the road. I just don't get it and never did. I never understood the well timed honk of the horn or the ever popular passinger hanging out the window and screaming at a rider.

What's the payoff??? Do some riders panic and crash? Please enlighten me.

powerglide

Illegitimis non carborundum

Spreggy

So what are the fastest one-liners we can share in these conversations? Since altercations leave one wishing they had thought of just the right thing at the time, it's good to practice. Maybe these:

"Weightwatchers is right over there"

"Have another twinky and relax"

"Krishna loves you"

"Jesus walked" (if they have that holyer than thou, progress-hating vibe working)

"Thanks for sharing"

"Well one of us has to think of the environment"


I pedaled out to my mother's birthday party, and my sister got into a bit about how the cyclists in her area get in the lane, then they go slow, and you can't go as slow as they go, etc... So I asked why someone in an air conditioned environment with entertaining music and sometimes even a dvd player can't actually slow down for a sec. The thought never occurred to her. Just chat with the Onstar gal until the pesky cyclist moves for pete's sake.

jmarkley710

For the same reason I waved at a kid and his friends that yelled look at the fat ass on the bike. Mind you I'm a clyde but not an uber clyde or anything. The better part was the light had just turned red and there was a huge should I was riding on so I spun the bike around and pulled up next to his car to have a little chat. Needless to say it was rater interesting when the 16 year old freaked out when I told him I would find out where he lived and explain to his parents that maybe they shouldn't be letting him out in public in his nice new car with a disrespectful attitude like that. Sometimes if you say things serious enough to a JAM (alt meaning. Juvenile Adolescent Male) they really think you are a god or something. Though I did contemplate wasting a new co2 canister chucking it at his windshield and cracking it. Steered away from that though. Maybe some jerseys would be nice.
"Yell at me for a free windshield cracking!"
"I'm a fat, slow, a**hole that knows traffic laws!"
"You think this is slow? Let me drop down below 20 mph!"
"This is my obsession! Fund it by letting me sue you!"

powerglide

I wish I can be so witty...usually I go straight for the GED special "F U!"

Rocke

Why do you let them bother you..? because you are a nice guy, and think others should be.
While riding late one night back when I drank, a station wagon running past tossed a bottle out at me. It glanced my side and broke on the ground. I took off after them and they went up a dead end and stopped. After a few minutes they gunned the engine and roared down the hill with no lights. I positioned myself in the middle of the road to stop them. One of the stupidest in a long, long list of stupid things I could have done. They did not stop. We both tried at the last second to miss me. I dropped my rig, they lost a hubcap but I ID’d the car. The next day when my dishwashing crew came to work in the station wagon we had a good laugh after I guilted them, as they did not know it was me until they ID’d me. They were drunk kids, not much different than many in the moment kids. The fact is I really loved a couple of them and liked all of them.
Glad I never hurt anyone or did something stupid as a kid… (I wish)
It is aggravating to be called a “Cutter” and have trash dumped on you while riding.
It is frustrating to hear tires smack the road bumpers coming behind you when there is tons of room, and two lanes… Cursing at you all the way.
It is ludicrous to have someone reach out of the car and smack you on the back side.
However, taking on a car, or three people, or some one spun on dope or booze is just crazy.
I have been in fights with absolutely no reason other than, “Someone said” because we were all high for days, where folks were really hurt. Try ticking one off driving a car.
It is not worth ticking off someone crazier than you, regardless of how right we are.
It may seem macho, but one day we will read in BF of a gunshot or vehicular homicide from hollering or chasing some Tweeker (I can say that cause I art one) that got revenge on a Rider who called him a name, or called him out. Lots of people get down that way.
Just ride away and pray for them… it isn’t easy.
I try and respond instead of react, I am not always successful, however to give Grace is far better than to give them a shot possibly at you... and safer for everybody. Once the ball gets rolling, you never know when it will stop. Give peace… Live to ride another day.

CrimsonKarter21

I've taken to the old ones, like "Go die in a fire," or "Yeah, run you ****ing coward, that's right"