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11 guys you will find in a group ride

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Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

11 guys you will find in a group ride

Old 08-27-07, 09:21 AM
  #1  
hos13
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11 guys you will find in a group ride

This is a funny video about the 11 guys you will find on the play ground.

https://break.com/index/11-guys-at-the-playground.html

What are the 11 (doesn't have to be 11) guys on a group ride.

1. Fred (probably me)
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Old 08-27-07, 09:40 AM
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The I should have put on my race wheels guy.
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Old 08-27-07, 09:47 AM
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The guy who looks great, has all the great new stuff, but can't ride too well. This person may be dangerous because he's always checking his reflection in windows. He wears white arm and leg warmers, and white booties, even on hot days. Often has his legs covered in oil

The older guy who rides fanstastic, but still has a 1989 eight-speed steel clunker, and refuses to buy new gear coz he thinks it's all crap.

The guy who thinks he's the "boss" of the ride, shouting orders at everyone.

The weird "uncool" looking guy with the really white legs, long black socks, wears undies under his bike knicks, but, worst of all, has his stem pointing upwards

The guy who thinks he's the 'safety' guy in group, usually staying right at or near the back, keeping watch over the whole bunch, shouting safety warnings, like "car back", "parked car", "lights ahead", etc

The guy who always says this is his first ride in 2 months, even though you see him every 2 weeks

The strong guy who always pulls attacks back to the bunch, but never has the confidence to go for 'victory' at the end.

The guy who keeps trying to smash the whole bunch on his own, yo-yoing off the front with crappy 500m attacks, keeps blowing up and gets reeled in after 20 seconds...but never gets the message that it's pointless, or that he should train harder.

The guy who goes passed the bunch at a good speed when the ride is over, trying to show everyone how good he could've done, had he had the opportunity, or simply 'felt' like it.

The guy who only looks at the wheel he's following, and nearly causes ten crashes

The guy who pretends he's only 'spinning', and that this is his 'easy' day, by catting to other riders, looking at the scenery, and pretending he's talking on his cell phone.

Then there's the newbie who always gets dropped after the first 2km, but shows up week after week to take his punishment


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Old 08-27-07, 09:50 AM
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Mr. Excuses rides bikes too.
Mr. "Hold Your LINE!" (friends with Mr. "SLOWING!")
Mr. Recovery ride -- you didn't drop him, he was recovering
Mr. Crosschain
Mr. Top-tube polisher (gut on top tube)
Mr. Ex Racer (kinda fast, has done like 5 races 10 years ago)
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Old 08-27-07, 09:56 AM
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The overweight guy that you always seems to keep getting in front of you. (props to the over weight guy, by the way!)

The Princess. (I hate her....she's hot and can drop me while flicking her hair at the same time. TEE HEE! *lil frigginfragginffrrrrr*
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Old 08-27-07, 09:59 AM
  #6  
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Le Couch Potato: The guy who seems to have watched every stage of Le Tour live and then in slow motion and has to talk about it the entire ride, spoiling every highlight for you and then injecting his "expert" opinion on every move.

The Rabbit: The skinny one who sprints past the whole pack then sits up and rides no handed while they catch up, then drifts slowly to the back to do it again. Although he never boasts, you can tell he walks and talks like he's God after the ride.

The Hermit: This guy doesn't say anything during the entire ride. You don't know if it's because he's suffering and can't spare the breath, or because he's a serial killer, but if he gets dropped on a climb he's the reason for the conversation for the regroup.
"Is everybody here?"
"I think we had one more"
"Who's that"
"I don't know his name, but I think he had a plain white jersey on"
"I don't think he was with our group"
"OK let's go"

Mr. Bigring: Rides the entire ride in the big ring/little cog. Gets dropped on every climb but doesn't complain or try to use lower gears. Does he even know his bike has shifters?
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Old 08-27-07, 10:13 AM
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LOL, I see myself being some of these guys. But not anymore of course.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:15 AM
  #8  
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i associate with The Rabbit.

with big, sharp pointy teeth!
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Old 08-27-07, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by urbanknight View Post

Mr. Bigring: Rides the entire ride in the big ring/little cog. Gets dropped on every climb but doesn't complain or try to use lower gears. Does he even know his bike has shifters?
^^that's funny.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:21 AM
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"Run away! Run away!"
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Old 08-27-07, 10:33 AM
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Me: Excellent rider with flair and finesse. Can drope hamers at will, but knows when spin easy. Covers all the breaks. Excellent cornering, sprinting, and tactical skills. Good leadout man.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by recursive View Post
Me: Excellent rider with flair and finesse. Can drope hamers at will, but knows when spin easy. Covers all the breaks. Excellent cornering, sprinting, and tactical skills. Good leadout man.
Wow, you just described me to a Tee. Have I dropped you before?
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Old 08-27-07, 10:44 AM
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Mr. Oblivious - the guy who ride a bike bought in 87 that has never been worked on, and is so far out of adjustment that it produces a symphony of sounds...and then pretends he can't hear it.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:45 AM
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pwnt.. The sarcasm detector needs to be calibrated .

me: I dont ride in groups anymore, but I drop freds and make little babies weep in their trailers..
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Old 08-27-07, 10:45 AM
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How about Mr. Camelback?
Or Mr. Cartoon-Jersey?
Or even Senor Fuzzy legs?
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Old 08-27-07, 10:51 AM
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The guy who doesn't race, isn't small isn't fat, LOVES to ride, will stay mostly in the small ring unless the pace heats up, only rides to eat, will pull all day if he could, will not moan about someone drafting him all ride, expects that if he wants to draft that he can, may get dropped on hills, but most likely not, rides fast if needed and is overtly/overly nice.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:52 AM
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Mr. Wheelsucker: never does any work but always seems to be there for the county line sprint.
Mr. Mountain Bike: he's got slick tires, so what's the big deal?
Mr. Road Hazard: drops bottles and loses his computer.
Mr. Commuter: even though it's 10am Saturday, you can never have enough blinkies.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Pwnt View Post
Have I dropped you before?
Must have been someone else. That would be theoretically impossible.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:54 AM
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And don't forget Mr. Steel Is Real: loudly derides anybody riding a "plastic bike" or "recycled beer can"
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Old 08-27-07, 10:55 AM
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Lol.
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Old 08-27-07, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by skinnyone View Post
pwnt.. The sarcasm detector needs to be calibrated .
Ya lost me?
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Old 08-27-07, 11:00 AM
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Originally Posted by 531Aussie View Post
The guy who looks great, has all the great new stuff, but can't ride too well. This person may be dangerous because he's always checking his reflection in windows. He wears white arm and leg warmers, and white booties, even on hot days. Often has his legs covered in oil

The older guy who rides fanstastic, but still has a 1989 eight-speed steel clunker, and refuses to buy new gear coz he thinks it's all crap.

The guy who thinks he's the "boss" of the ride, shouting orders at everyone.

The weird "uncool" looking guy with the really white legs, long black socks, wears undies under his bike knicks, but, worst of all, has his stem pointing upwards

The guy who thinks he's the 'safety' guy in group, usually staying right at or near the back, keeping watch over the whole bunch, shouting safety warnings, like "car back", "parked car", "lights ahead", etc

The guy who always says this is his first ride in 2 months, even though you see him every 2 weeks

The strong guy who always pulls attacks back to the bunch, but never has the confidence to go for 'victory' at the end.

The guy who keeps trying to smash the whole bunch on his own, yo-yoing off the front with crappy 500m attacks, keeps blowing up and gets reeled in after 20 seconds...but never gets the message that it's pointless, or that he should train harder.

The guy who goes passed the bunch at a good speed when the ride is over, trying to show everyone how good he could've done, had he had the opportunity, or simply 'felt' like it.

The guy who only looks at the wheel he's following, and nearly causes ten crashes

The guy who pretends he's only 'spinning', and that this is his 'easy' day, by catting to other riders, looking at the scenery, and pretending he's talking on his cell phone.

Then there's the newbie who always gets dropped after the first 2km, but shows up week after week to take his punishment

I think I've been at least 3 or 4 of these guys.
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Old 08-27-07, 11:02 AM
  #23  
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Mrs. Blue Tri-Shorts!!!!!

...................... I lost my concentration ... Oh! Yeah, she's built like an olympic medalist ... and uh, she ...
Where the heck was I going with this?
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Old 08-27-07, 11:05 AM
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you will find me....


The guy that looks like he is in great shape....can handle a bike well....but isn't nearly as strong as he looks, and will complain the WHOLE time about heat, cold, tire pressure, seat, handlebar tape, helmet, glasses, sunshine....shade...you name it, if i ain't complaining i ain't happy...It's odd, i know.
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Old 08-27-07, 11:08 AM
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Mr. I Got Ripped Off by a Bike Shop
Ms. instense Triathlete with No Idea Why Rest and Sprinting are Important
Mr. This is a Good Place to Meet Chicks
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