Fred Obsessed ? We can help.
 

Sixty Co. a division of Two Really Stoned Guys Inc. is now pleased to be able to offer a program for those of you that have found that you are Fred - obsessed.

If you find yourself posting incessantly to pfred's and other people's Fredesque posts and fretting about being blown away by the guy in cutoffs and a dirty t-shirt (we know you do) then you are probably obsessed.

We'll start by having you put away those flimsy carbon fibre and titanium schwag-mobiles you call bikes and put you on some solidly made and decent steel bicycles like old Raleigh three speeds, Schwinn coaster bikes, older steel road (not racing) bikes and others and make sure you are attired in proper apparel.

Cut offs and t shirts with sneakers will be the order of the day and we know that besides being comfortable you will also get to experience that long lost joy of simple riding when you do not have to obsess over grams, whether your kit matches your bike, or that you just have to have the latest doo dad.

There will be no power meters or computers to log your progress or be used as a basis for one upping your mates.

We will be fitting your bikes with racks and paniers so that you might learn to be more self supporting on rides as we will have you riding in every kind of weather, just because the sun isn't shining and it's not 70 degrees will not be an excuse to stay in and you might even HTFU a little.

With our program we will also be offering courses in basic bike repair and if some of you show aptitude we might even show you some advanced skills, like changing a chain or adjusting your worn brakes...won't that be wonderful ?

For advanced students we will offer a program in Canuckistan so they might learn that just because it's 20 below that is no reason to stay indoors and ride the trainer (hamster wheel), whine about getting fat, start fights, and make an inordinate number of Fredesque posts.

You might find that you even want to grow a beard and stop shaving your legs.

The cost for this program will be a mere $2000.00 which is far less than many of you spend on bikes you can never hope to ride to their max and the schwag you need to look good and will cover all the essential equipment and clothing you require.

You will be able to keep all the bikes and gear you use during this 6 week progream as we know that after this 6 weeks you will no longer be Fred obsessed but rather, will have become Freds yourselves.

You will then find yourself laughing at the nancy boys in their matching lycra and weenie mobiles as you blow by them in your cut offs and sneakers.

So, are you snowed in or something?

Nope.

Just stoned (it's a job requirement at TRSG.Inc.)

I'll also be teaching the course in Canuckistan.

:)

Fred has nothing to do with not riding a race bike or wearing cut offs.

I forget... we'll have to really pin down what a Fred is and isn't but not here... please.

:)

65er, could you offer just the maintenance courses, in your shop of course, including room and board for about $50?

I am already fred enough, I just need to figure out how to fix my bike.

The fees in our shop are already far less than $50.00 but we don't really have any accommodations available.

I'M IN!!!

I'm already a Fred so how hard could the course be. Besides, I hate those elitist Sons of Beetches!!

TRSG.Inc has been working tirelessly to develop a portable sense of humour but have found it's far easier to get the test chickens to wear pantyhose and that really isn't that easy.

Do you ride whatever bike you like regardless of what people think and wear whatever is comfortable and functional even if it doesn't match ?

We'll give you a 10 % discount if you still run any type of friction shifter on your bike.

:)

USD or Canadian?

I am not concerned that the Fred threads might alienate newbies from the sport. There are too many people in this stupid sport already. The less the merrier.

You forget economies of scale my discount Zipp buying fiend.

That there is some funny $hit folks. Sixty, we ever meet your beer is bought.

I'll say you can forget the terms 'economy' and 'economies of scale' when referring to any bike schwag over $1000. How am I a 'discount Zipp fiend'? I bought one used pair on eBay last year.

I bought none and am jealous. Ergo, you're a fiend. :D

Pcad - We are already processing your application.

DEAL! My TT bike still has friction shifting.

Any testimonials before I take the plunge?

damn im in! do students get to be stoned as well?

For the time being we will be taking American dollars on par although that is subject to change without notification.

We already have pcad's new ride waiting for him...

http://www.ravingbikefiend.com/bikepics/CCM1.jpg

Dang, why does pcad get to use the nice bike? Guess we've got to break him in gently!

Cuda... just think of how much faster and stronger he will get cranking that 52:18 gearing on that 32 pound, all steel, 1933 CCM.

And how often does someone get to ride a bike that is as old as they are ?

:lol:

From a newbie getting on a bike for the first time tomorrow (and hoping to get advice/support from you all), I just wanted to personally thank you for your kind and thoughtful welcome.:rolleyes:

Peace... pcad is a really nice guy and when he says "the less the merrier" you have to know that he means that with less people riding, he will have less people to chase.

:D

Once he completes our program he won't have to worry about things like this and will actually be encouraging as many people as possible to get riding and might even festoon his bikes with environmentally conscious stickers.