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Don't F with me kid, I'll melt you with my Xray Vision

Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Don't F with me kid, I'll melt you with my Xray Vision

Old 07-23-08, 10:49 AM
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patentcad
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Don't F with me kid, I'll melt you with my Xray Vision

That's how I feel when I walk into the bagel shop one or twice a week to pick up bagels on the ride home and i'm in my racing kit, helmet and shoes. Like some Tour de France rider who wondered into a local retail store. Then some 7 year old kid starts staring at me like 'Hey Mommy, Superman just came in for bagels.' And they never really stop staring, do they? God that sucks.

I'm used to it. Another downside to being a Bike Weenie. There are many.
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Old 07-23-08, 10:52 AM
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I start mumbling in another language when this happens.

German-ish sounding words work pretty good. Especially if you are wearing a team kit that doesn't have any English words on it.
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Old 07-23-08, 10:55 AM
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I think any good team kit needs a lycra cape.

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Old 07-23-08, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by BananaTugger View Post
I start mumbling in another language when this happens.

German-ish sounding words work pretty good. Especially if you are wearing a team kit that doesn't have any English words on it.
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Old 07-23-08, 10:56 AM
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mmm...bagels. Remind me again ,what does bread taste like?
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Old 07-23-08, 10:59 AM
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Make sure your kit is covered in dirt, and blood. They'll think you're the *****.
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Old 07-23-08, 11:00 AM
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
I think any good team kit needs a lycra cape.

Think of the drag!

But where do you put your bike when you go for bagels? Do you carry a lock with you on your rides?
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Old 07-23-08, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
I think any good team kit needs a lycra cape.

Don't forget the boots. I pad around in them in full kit at race starts once in a while. The looks and comments make for some unique interaction.

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Old 07-23-08, 11:05 AM
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
Then some 7 year old kid starts staring at me like 'Hey Mommy, Superman just came in for bagels.' And they never really stop staring, do they?
You should've called the kid OUT. Likely a good match. I've seen pic's of your skinny @ss...

and bagels? what's up with that?
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Old 07-23-08, 11:06 AM
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Its nice here in Boulder, CO because everyone has been desensitized to wrinkly old guys in Lycra. The number of people outside in Lycra outnumber casually dressed civilians.
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Old 07-23-08, 11:07 AM
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I just throw hot coffee in their faces and then shoot a lazer out of my lycra clad ubber bulge!
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Old 07-23-08, 11:17 AM
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I had bagels once this week. I hang my head in shame. I'm a fat fat FATTIE.
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Old 07-23-08, 11:26 AM
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Slow day? Must have been a while since you've started a new thread.
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Old 07-23-08, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
I had bagels once this week. I hang my head in shame. I'm a fat fat FATTIE.
Its sure nice to have that athletic 22 yr. old super-duper-metabolism, eating anything and everything
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Old 07-23-08, 11:39 AM
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Bike gear looks stupider as a function of the square of the distance in feet you are from your bike.
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Old 07-23-08, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by slickyricky View Post
Its sure nice to have that athletic 22 yr. old super-duper-metabolism, eating anything and everything
If I could see you I would also melt you with my Xray Vision.
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Old 07-23-08, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
I think any good team kit needs a lycra cape.


NO CAPES!! Remember what happened to the Supers that wore them.....
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Old 07-23-08, 11:49 AM
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i am Batman.

later.
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Old 07-23-08, 12:06 PM
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no worse than getting called a power ranger by kids when i used to roll in motorcycle gear
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Old 07-23-08, 12:10 PM
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I think more along the lines of, "Don't F with me, kid. I'll never be able to catch you in my road cleats."
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Old 07-23-08, 12:10 PM
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You lost a staring contest to a 7 year old.

What a loser you are, you big loser.
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Old 07-23-08, 12:13 PM
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Whoever said you're only a loser if you quit never participated in bicycle racing.
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Old 07-23-08, 12:16 PM
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Oh, I'm sorry. This a Pcad thread. I meant to say big fat loser.
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Old 07-23-08, 12:16 PM
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"why are you dressed like a racecar?" <friends 8 yr old as I fill a water bottle in full team kit before going on a ride.
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Old 07-23-08, 12:22 PM
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Run, Don't Walk, Out of the Suburbs

You asked for it. You live in the suburbs. That kid has probably never seen a person of color that wasn't working for his parents. How can you expect him to know better?

I go to a bagel shop in my Manhattan neighborhood once per week and no one bats an eye. Cycling kits are far from note-worthy here.
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