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Cyclists are "Road Lice?"

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Cyclists are "Road Lice?"

Old 07-24-08, 08:36 AM
  #1  
Treker
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Cyclists are "Road Lice?"

[Daily Mail - UK]

MRS ANGRY! Grande dame of the poison pen Julie Burchill lets rip at modern life
By Julie Burchill

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...dern-life.html

From self-obsessed celebrities to cynical beauty companies, she's got an opinion on everything - and none of them flattering. In a waspish new book, Julie Burchill lets rip at modern life

She picks on lots of other institutions but here's her cycling rant.

...
ROAD LICE

Way back in 1998, scientists reported that the more a man rode a bicycle, the greater his chance of becoming impotent. You might want to look away now, but apparently, when a chap sits on a bike seat, an artery that runs through the perineum, delivering blood to the penis, is squashed. Generally it bounces back - but if it's squished one time too many, it stays squished.

Is this the reason cyclists often seem so vile-tempered? (The men, that is: the ladies tend to be more civilised, as per usual.) All that spitting and swearing and knocking down tots and oldsters alike with their determination to dominate both pavement and road. Doesn't it rather smack of a monstrous regiment of Mr Softees seeking to impose their masculinity on the road in away they've failed to in bed?

Cyclists are hypocrites because they hate drivers - yet they are drivers! Albeit drivers with extreme prejudice. Two wheels good; four wheels bad. And, like a lot of drivers, they have nothing but contempt for the snail's-pace pedestrian, whom they sometimes accuse of being 'selfish'.

Are such people really so cretinous that they cannot grasp how threatening large, fast, wheeled metal objects appear - particularly to the very young and the very old - when they are coming towards a pedestrian? Of course, we have Green thinking to thank for the rise in the thoroughly selfish sense of empowerment of cyclists. 'I don't cause pollution, therefore I can do as I wish,' the thinking appears to go.

One particular aspect of many of their number's behaviour puzzles me beyond all others, though. Cyclists, as they never tire of letting us know, are in so many ways superior to the rest of us. Indeed, they're so very caring and responsible that we non-cyclists should be truly ashamed of ourselves for even existing.

Just before we flog ourselves to death in sheer molten shame, though, can we please ask: What's with these baby carriers that some cyclist parents stick on the backs of their bikes? Perhaps mere mortals like us 'leggies' have got it wrong, but does a tot really enjoy being positioned where its lungs can take in the maximum amount of traffic fumes from passing cars? How environmentally aware is that?

And, if we may be so bold, oh superior cyclists, can we ask what happens if your mean machine goes under a car while your little darling is strapped into their seat? You'll be lucky enough if you have a few seconds to scramble away. Tot, strapped into the baby carrier, doesn't stand a snowball's.
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Old 07-24-08, 08:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Treker View Post
[Daily Mail - UK]....typically angry Daily Wail garbage...
It's a rag. Pay no attention.

[exception]They did however point out that the wealthier you are the more likely you are to ride a bicycle for fun, transport and sport. At least according to government statistics.[/exception]
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Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
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Old 07-24-08, 08:52 AM
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Yawn.
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Old 07-24-08, 08:54 AM
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meh
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Old 07-24-08, 09:01 AM
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Poison pen? I'd be bitter too if I wrote for the Daily Mail.

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Old 07-24-08, 09:06 AM
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its us against them

they hate us

we hate them

we can't win
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Old 07-24-08, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by veloGeezer View Post
its us against them

they hate us

we hate them

we can't win
Nice!!!
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